Going Back to Work - Agawam,MA

Hi M.,
I went back to work when my oldest was 9 weeks old. It was heart wrenching for me. But, she is so much more out going now, and makes friends a lot easier. I think it really helped her socially. My youngest is a lot more timid than her, and I was home with her for a lot longer. I think it will get easier for you, and you will look forward to the adult interaction that you will receive at work. Good Luck :)

It does get easier. One way to help is if you get a job that is more of a night job. I worked from 5p until 1am for 2 years just so that I could have the days home with the kids. This way we saved on daycare (my husband worked days) and I didn't miss out on much cause the kids were in bed by 7. It made it a lot easier for me.

Hi M.,

I went through the same thing when I went back to work after my son was born, that was in 1995 and I was an Army Soldier. I think that he has actually benefited from being in child care for all these years. He is more outgoing and makes friends easier than boys his age. He has very good manners and learned to share at a young age, so as he got older it didn't bother him when his cousins or friends used his toys. It also seems like he developed quicker in regards to learning his colors and his ABC's.

I know that may not help you, but all I can say is it does get a little easier, but there were days that I went to the daycare during lunch just to see how he was doing. I don't know if that is an option for you.

Good luck with your job.

S.

M.. I have definitely been where you are darling...I kept pictures of my son in my purse..on my desk..in my cell phone..I called and checked on him...most likely, it isn't going to be easy. You are a first time mom and are trying to balance work and motherhood. Take it easy and know that although you have returned to work, time will be the easiest transition. Also, you are still in post partum stages so you will be somewhat emotional and have mixed feelings about returning to work anyway. All I can say is it WILL get better...think of it as while you may be away from him while at work, you DEFINITELY have something to look forward to after work which can get you through your day.
Good luck, K.

First off Congratulations on your new baby!

It is a really hard adjustment going back to work. It was really hard for me when I had to do it. I also found myself tearing up at work. It will get easier down the road. Just be strong and know that you are doing what is best for your family.

I remember I would call just about every 2 hours to check on my son. The sitter was great about it and would fill me in on everything he had done. That really helped me get through. Eventually those calls dropped down to 2 times a day and then to once a day. And now that my son is almost 4 and in preschool I still call every time I feel like I miss him (usually once a week).

:o)

There is nothing wrong with you being sad when you leave your son. I have two children, 7yr old daughter and 6yr old son, I still get teary eyed when they get on the bus..I also love being a parent and sometimes feel bad when I have to head off to work. What you must remember is, as your child gets older, he will look back at you and feel so proud that his Mommy went to work everyday so that he could have a much better life. It is a proven fact that children who stay home with thier mom or dads all day dont get the satisfaction of appreciating them as much. Just think how much you enjoy getting your nails done, to me it is such a treat, BUT if you go everday you will not appreciate it as much because it is a constant thing. Your childs eyes I am sure light up when you come home from work, and to me that makes it all worth it. Be strong, and rest assured that your son is fine. Good Luck

Hi M. T. Going back to work after having a baby is so difficult. I personally do not know of any easy way to transition except for maybe trying what I did which is to make a career change and find something that takes you away from home less while providing the same income you need to make. I started my first at home business shortly after trying to go back to work after having my third baby and being at home during the years I had my first three children. I could not handle it either. I was just too used to being there for everything. So, a friend of mine showed me the at home business route and the rest is history. I now have five children, am newly a single Mom getting out of a bad marriage and am able to support my house and children myself with my business. I would love to share the information with you if you would like to explore that option. You can email me at ____@____.com K. C

Hi M.,

I have a great suggestion for you!!! Work from Home with your children there with you -- I have done it - I love it!!

This is so great for Moms like us who have the 'guilt feelings' about leaving our kids! My son is so happy that I am home and that I pick him up from school and able to be there for him and school functions.

M., check out my website and let me know!
http://robertajordan.stayinhomeandlovinit.com

Come join us!
Roberta

I work full time 2 and i miss my son terribly, but use the time to interact with adults, it helps your stress level (not necessarily stress from your son.) also leave him with some1 u trust so worrying if the babysitter is capable isnt on ur mind, also call alot and have the person let u "talk" to your son... u will get used to it, not like it, but get used to it :)

M.,
Just know that the more you focus on working the better it will be on yourself. I've recently had the same problem, especially leaving my little girl in daycare for the first time in 8 months. It has been alot easier for me now, just try to focus on your work and before you know it, it will be time to go home. It's really hard not to cry or feel out of whack... Hang in there...

M. - I know right now it seems really hard and you'll never get used to the fact you're leaving your little boy behind, but please believe me, it does get easier! If you have a great babysitter during the day - they might tell you something he had done, but if not, don't worry. Some babysitters know what its like to see it for the first time, without being told first.
My other advise, if Full-Time isn't working out, and financially you could handle taking a part-time job, you won't miss as much time with the baby, but you'll still be able to help support the family as well as have the adult interaction all of us need. The time spent will be even more valuable because you know you made the time to spend with each other.

This is a tough time. I know, I went through it. I returned to work when my daughter was 7 weeks old. I hated every minute and felt myself cry everytime i thought of her. But what I can tell you is that now that she is almost 14 months old I almost look forward to going to work and being with other adults. I work 12 hour shifts so i only have to work a few days a week. Just remember that your child will love you unconditionally no matter what you do, work or dont work. it is our insecurities that make it harder. He will love you no matter what.

It does get easier, but you will still have bad days. I have 3 children. My oldest is 8, middle child is 3, and youngest is 18 months. I like my job, so that makes it a bit easier. There are still days that I drop them off and my little guy looks up at me and wrinkles up his eyes and the lip comes down, and I can feel the dagger in my chest. With my oldest, I hated my job at the time, and it never got easier. I switched careers.
It depends on your situation. If you are doing what you love, you will realize that time away is good, and know that your children are well taken care of and are playing with their friends. Those tears they shed when you drop them off stop 30 seconds after you are out the door.
If you are leaving them at daycare, and not enjoying your work, then you need to analyze further of what you are doing and why.

lots and lots of chocolate...I had the same reaction when I returned to work...it is difficult and is a tuff transition for any new parent to have, it is normal...it will take some time to adjust...after time it will become easier and it is nice to have some time away, even if it is work...finding a private daycare run out of a private home, and knowing that is was a loving home made a big difference for myself and my children...it was a relief to know that my children were in good hands when I could not be with them...best of luck..

K.

M.....I wish I had some great expert advice for you but I dont all I can do is tell you your not alone....I have been a stay at home mom for 7 years and recently went back to work full time...IT SUCKS
Well I can tell you that with a strict routine things have gotten so much easier...I wish you the best of luck and I guess all I can add to this is treasure the time you have at home each day...good luck

A.
____@____.com

My son was born in August of 2005 and I was the same way. I was so upset about going back to work that it was ALL I could think about when I was on maternity leave. I completely changed my hair and bought a new outfit for my first day of work, so the first day held an element of excitement for me. A chance to do my hair, wear my new outfit, etc. The following day, however, I was so upset, I cried, and cried. I missed my baby so much. If you are able to go visit him on your lunch break, I found that it helped me. I also called twice a day, and still do (just to see what he was doing.)
However, what helps me is that I imagine that when he starts to talk, he will already have things to tell me. He will be able to tell me all the fun things he does during the day and all the people he sees. It keeps me so excited to see him at the end of the day. I am ALWAYS so happy to see him and hear about his day (from the babysitter, of course, not from him yet.) Anyways, I wish you the best of luck and I do assure you that it gets a little easier. I still have days that are worse than others, but then I tell myself 8 hours is not that bad! Then I will see him and enjoy my time with him.

Is this a job that you had before you were pregnant? Are you devoted to it? If you say no to either of these questions, I would reccomend a home based business. I am a Partylite consultant. This allows me to be a stay at home mom to my 3 kids. It also allows me to make some money and socialize at the same time. If something like this interests you please let me know. I would love to have you on my team. You can check out my website at www.partylite.biz/karynhuntsman .