New Mommy Going Back to Work

Hi C.,

I'm a mother of a 14month baby girl I have a son who is 11 years old, so I guess I'm a new mommy all over again. It was difficult for me at the time I had to leave back to work when she was only two months old. When i found a daycare for her I got to know the daycare provider and also though of letting my daugther get to know the provider prior before going back to work, this way I could go back feeling positive that she is in good hands. i hope this helps.

This is probably going to be impractical for you but dad stayed home and he sent a snapshot to my work email account every day.

Hey C.,
I am so sorry to hear that. I know it's not easy.
I went back to Corporate America when my first son was only six weeks old. I even had a family member that we paid to watch him. It's never easy.
By the time i was pregnant with my second I found a way to stay home with my boys and make money. I now have four boys (all under the age of four) and still working from home when they nap or at night. I'd love to share with you - if you are interested.
Feel free to email me directly: ____@____.com
Looking forward to sharing some what I do.
P.

The thing that worked for me was finding the best day care I could. Knowing that my son was someplace where he was loved, well cared for and happy made it so much easier to be at work. In fact, both my kids were so happy at their respective day care places that they cried when it was time to go home! That was a good thing, even though it was h*** o* my mommy ego! <g>

Another thing that helped me was easing in to it. I started with one or two days a week, just so I could get used to being on my own again.

But, the most important thing I did was not guilt trip myself into being miserable at work. When you're at work, be at work. When you're with your daughter, be with your daughter. Enjoy both, take pride in both, and things should fall into place. At least the did for me!

Good luck...

Hi C.. I went back to work when my daughter was 3 months old- she is now 9 months.

For me, the first week was no harder than this week. It still makes me sad/mad/jealous that I am working and someone else (either one of her two grandmas) is having quality time with my baby! But what can we do? We have to provide for our families so we cope.

It may sound strange but what helped me was to total up the hours she was with someone else during the week (40) and the daytime hours she was with me (4 on each weekday evening + 12 on each weekend day = 44) and reminding myself, hey! she is still spending more time with mommy than she is with the babysitters.

Truly, nothing replaces mommy- you are the one putting her to sleep, you're there for her in the middle of the night, you get bathtime... you gave birth to her and breastfed her, no amount of time spent away from each other during the week can take away that bond she has with you. Wait til you see her face light up when you pick her up at the end of the day. That is my favoreite part of the day, when I walk in to get her, see her playing happily, then watch her face slowly spread into a big grin and start bouncing up and down because she is happy to see me.

I see the wisdom in asking them NOT to tell you the first time she does something... I can understand that. I usually bring it up if I feel a "milestone" is coming- "she is going to roll over any day, she almost did last night" then it feels like I am the one taking ownership of it and I don't feel bad if they report they saw her do something new.

Good luck, you'll make it, and you'll appreciate your time with your child that much more!

Just remember that you are doing what's best for your family. Whether that means money (if you can't afford to stay home) or a happier mom (because you're career driven).

I would do anything to be a full-time stay at home mom but my family needs my income. I did however find a flexible job that allows me to work some from the office and some from home. Look for opportunities that don't work if you are too unhappy after you return.

Bring lots of pictures!!! Set them up all around you. Also try recording your babies cry and laugh that way you can listen to her. Its a challenge at first but when you get to the babysitter and she sees you and smiles its awesome. Plus she will be making friends in a few months and she will need to be at a place that has other children for socializing.

I cried for the first two weeks at work. Really. I had the tissues ready on my desk and cried whenever anyone came to talk to me or I had to answer the phone. Luckily, my boss was cool. I mentally decided then that I would quit my job as soon as I could. My husband and I worked for over a year and we relocated to another state to lower our cost of living so I could stay home. I have NEVER missed my job, my nice car (I drove a rust bucket for the last 7 years) and anything else that working allowed me to have. My husband and I are still committed to making a one income family work, and now my second child could go to preschool (she is 3 1/2) and we could really use my part time income, but my husband said "I'd prefer to have you keep her with you for one more year instead" so that is what we will do. This is the best career decision I have ever made.

C.,
As everyone has attested, going back to work is going to be hard. One thing that really worked for me is that Dad drops our baby off at the sitter's in the morning. That way, I feel like I am leaving him with his dad, not with someone else (even though he is with a friend who is like family).

Also, try working only a half-week. That will hopefully help you adjust to being completely exhausted.

I set specific times where I let myself just think about the baby (this is easy if you are going to be pumping). I think this makes the day go faster because I'm not dividing my attention, and it's like a little treat I get for working hard the rest of the day.

I've been back at work for 3 weeks now, and it does get much easier, especially if you enjoy your job. I've found that I'm glad to be out of the house and interacting on an adult level even though I miss my little guy.

Good luck!

Hi C.
I know how you feel. I have two and went back to work 3 motnhs after each of them. One thing that really helped me was going back gradually. Work a few half days and ease your way into it! It will be hard at first, but it will get easier over time! You can do it.

I found that if I keep busy at work, and am constantly moving that it helps make the day fly. It is so tough and the guilt is incredible. I thought pictures of him in my work area would help the first week to keep him nearby. It was easier to take them down and not have him in my mind for eight hours. Keep trusted friends that are also mom's around you. They help you realize you're not the only mom out there that is going through this. It is doable and you will find your routine, but definately not easy. The bills must be paid is how I have to look at it. Good Luck K.

Ease in slowly! The all-or-nothing plan of going back to work often results in losing the employee, so its in your company's interest to cooperate with a temporary transition plan. If you really must start full-time on the 17th, then go in on a Friday (yes tomorrow), just for an hour or two, and make Monday a shorter day. That lets your baby practice with your childcare arrangement too.

My real suggestion for going back to work is a transition that takes about 1 month, in which you go in just for meetings for an hour or two for the first week, and then gradually increase to a couple of days the second week, and add about one day per week. I actually liked coming in for the 1-hour meetings and being just me again for short periods. The reunion with my baby was that much better. However a cold-turkey transition would have been heartbreaking.

C.,
It is hard, I'm right there with you. I'm a nurse, so I work 12 hour shifts. I only went back part-time (two days a week). I made sure to space out my days so that I didn't leave him two days in a row or too close together. The first week I went back, I had my husband bring him in so I could breastfeed and snuggle. It made it a little better. After that, I had him at a friends house one day a week and with my husband on the other day. When my husband had him, I asked him to bring him to work to see me during lunch if it didn't cut into naps. It made it a lot easier. I know this is not always possible depending on your child care, but it worked for us. Good luck.

Hi C.....my advice is not to be shy. Call for your daughter and check up on every chance you get. I did that when I went back to work after having my first daughter :) I don't know if you have a sitter or family watching baby, but my sitter didnt mind our frequent chats at all! I would apologize but just explained the way I felt and why and she was really good about it. It will get easier after time, but everyone grows differently....I hope this helps:) Good luck!

A Little About Me: Working mommy of 2 year old and 1 year old daughters....not twins, but both born in the same year, woohoo! My fiance and I love being parents!

Hi C.. I just took upon a home-based business. I have two little ones and I wish to be with them until they become self-sufficient in school. I like the fact that I can monitor their eating, activities, and progress in school. This is the best and most challenging job I've ever had and it is certainly the most rewarding. Any career of mine can be put on hold. I don't want to miss this period of my life.

Look into building a business from home. These days, it's all about that now. The retirement age is older due to lack of retirement resource and I certainly don't like to paint that picture of me working all my life. Savor the moments with your family. If you say, well...I gotta work and make money. For how long? Look into the company I represent and see if you can make it happen. Work hard the first few years and relax the rest. If you doubt it, the only way to find out is if you give it a try right? Here it is. www.globalsynergy.usana.com and click on Opportunity. If it isn't for you, may God guide you in finding your comfort and happiness. I find it very rewarding and fun. Good luck and God bless!

M.

My sweet little boy was 6 weeks old when I went back to work as I am in the Navy, and that is all the time I got off. It was very hard at first, but your right, it will get easier as the days go by. The things that worked for me was to have lots of pictures of him up in my work area, I hurried home when the day was over, had someone I trusted caring for him and I called his care giver a few times a day. He is 6 months now and he is a happy well adjusted baby. And I still miss him all day long, it will never change. I also have a 3 year old and I feel the same way about him. Good Luck.

Hi Michelle,

I think someone else said that the anticipation of going back is sometimes worse than the actual experience. I would have to agree with this. I was so upset about going back...crying everyday up until the day it was time to go...I was going to miss my little buddy. I would agree that you should start on a Wednesday or Thursday. That's what I did. Also, on the first day back, make plans to go to lunch with people you work with or a friend if they can meet you. That way you feel like you're getting some "grown up" time and that it's not just about work and leaving your baby. Trust me, it does get easier. My daughter is 15 months now and although I miss her like crazy during the day, I love the artwork she makes at daycare and all the new things she learns and experiences there. Good luck!

I totally understand how you feel. I went back to work when my daughter was 12 weeks old and it was actually better than I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong, I cried when I left her at the daycare that first day back, but I really enjoy working outside the home. If you can, maybe leave her for a half day the first few days you are back to work so you can both ease into the transition. Also, don't feel bad about calling and checking in to see how everyone is doing during the day. Good luck and know that you are doing the best you can for you and your daughter.

Hi C.!

Please check out my website at: stayinhomeandlovinit/bethany951.com.
I think I might be able to help you. Or you can call me at ###-###-####.

Thanks and good luck!
B. Schafer

First off, don't despair...it never gets better but it does get easier. Make sure there are a lot of pictures of your daughter where you work, bring them with you-stare at them often. If it makes you feel better, call the daycare every day for a week (they are use to new moms!). And when you pick her up, spend quality time with her. Working moms are SAINTS.

I just went through this myelf with my 7-month old 2 weeks ago. And there is no easy way to do it. The first day we both sropped him off and I stopped by at lunch to check on him. I picked him up in the afternoon. Of course all has been fine and we have it set up that my husband drops him off and I pick him up - it's less emotional for me.
He did get the stomach flu after only being there 3 days, but we expected something like that to happen. What I didn't expect was for me to get it - ugh!
Hang in there - you are correct that it does get easier with time. There is no shame in shedding a few tears- or a river:)

C.,

I went back to work with my first child and can tell you that it does get easier. I was fortunate that my employer was willing to work with me. I asked to have half days the first week to get both my daughter AND I ready for this transition. If you will be pumping at work, this can be helpful because it will reduce some stress so you can let down. Also, it IS OK to call the daycare as much as you want. They expect it and you will feel better too. If you cannot get half days, and are close to the provider/center, maybe going to nurse/feed the baby for your lunch break may be an option. You may be able to get an extended lunch period instead of losing half a days work. Just emphasize this is a one week thing. Most employers are open to negotiations. Keep your head up - our kids have a way of owning our hearts from moment 1, no matter how much time you stay home with them!!!!

Hi C.,
Sorry to ask, but is it really financially necessary for you to return to work so soon? My career is on hold right now, and though it is hard, in the long run the things I've had to cut out to be able to stay at home with my little girl are all worth it in the end. Think about it. If it is this hard, maybe full time work is not for you right now. A couple years 'til preschool is such a small percentage of our time we get here on earth. If it is financially necessary for you to return to work then try to keep your mind at ease knowing this is what needs to be done to feed your family.

C. I can sympathize with you. I had my girl late Jan. and I work for a non profit organization and they want me to come back at the end of this month. I don't have childcare yet so because I can't bare to think of leaving her just at 2 months. I congratulate you for staying with your baby for 4 months. I think lots of prayer will help both of us. I need to figure out childcare and fast. Good luck!

HI there. First, I know exactly what you're going through...did the same thing myself. You'll make it through but it sucks. I'll be completely honest. Being a working mom is insanely exhausting. I cried a TON. I think I aged a lot and my son is only 2 1/2 now...But, you figure it out...you get as used to it as you can, but there are still days when I swallow down that lump in my throat when I drop him off. You have to really get a schedule down and be firm with your company that you leave on time in the evening. I also have a rule of no evening or weekend dinners or activities for work unless my family is invited. This hasn't always gone over well, but when I get about two hours a day with my husband and son, I feel like it's a necessity. Go to bed earlier than you have been...figure out what you can "let go" and not feel guilty about. I also recommend getting someone to clean your house for you...it frees up time to be with your family when you are home. And...vons.com for groceries is great! I order them online over the weekend and then have them delivered in the evening during a day during the week. Whatever I can do to maximize time with my family is key. You'll be ok...but cry! It helps! And...find someone you can vent to...there will be days you so need this. Good luck! I just remind myself millions of other women do this too, so why not me? Someday, though, I hope I can stay home with my kids...Take care.

C.~
I feel your pain!! I had to do the same thing after 3 months home with my daughter. I cried all the way to work. The comforting thing was, she was home with her Grandma when I had to do it. Later, one of my best friends watched her until she was about a year old and then I put her in a small daycare. She loved it because she is so social and it helped her with her socail skills. She was getting bored just hanging out with my friend all day. She only had to go two days a week because of my and my husband's work schedule. That first day is the hardest (on you)! I pumped milk while I was at work so I could keep nursing and I called every chance I could. I also had pictures of her all over my desk. It's easier to do it now while she's young. If you wait until they are older, it's harder for them to be seperated from you. Everything will be fine. You can make it through this.

Is there any way you can delay return?
It tragic that you have to / feel you have to do this

;-(

Of course you will feel bad, because Mommy and baby belong together at this time. Baby probably won't feel bad, and she might be Ok but people saying you making some time for her will make her Ok are presuming a great deal. You will be leaving the most important job you could ever have - and chose to take on - to someone else.

Can you do a flexible short day or anything?
How much do you really need the money? Really?
I know other working mothers don't want to see this BUT I have to tell you the truth ... you know it yourself so I'm not telling you anything new... There is no way you can have the same bond when you are away all day as if you stayed to care for your baby and there is no one else - even family - that can be a real Mommy to her, except you. Unless you are giving her up full time that is.
I do hope you find a way around leaving her.
I am actually astounded that there are are so many Mothers here that are leaving the MOTHERING to someone else, sometimes even more than one 'someone else' over a period of years.

No, if it gets easier there is something wrong. It usually doesn't get easier, but it has become so common place that people DO think it's OK. Not the same same thing.

Blessings to you! Good luck.

The first morining is the hardest and you will cry! I made my husband go with me to drop off our daughter to daycare. It was nice to have him there to help me through it. I called twice everyday for the first week, then once a day for the next week, and now every so often or when I know she isn't feeling herself. My daycare lady is a friend of my husbands growing up so I felt really comfortable with her and I hung out there a few times, briefly, before I went back to work. It does get easier, but as your daughter gets older and does these really cute things it is harder to leave her in the morning.

Hey Michelle-I felt the same way when I had to go back to work when my daughter was 3-1/2 months old. I found that the anticipation of the separation from her was worse than the actuality. What also helped was feeling very comfortable with my childcare arrangement-I love our nanny and knowing that my girl was in such great hands was a big help in leaving her. I found focusing on getting acclimated back to work and reconnecting with my work friends (i.e., lunch, coffee etc) was a huge boost as it can be isolating to be at home with an infant. Find work friends that also have kids who have made the same transition back to work-it's nice to touch base with someone else who has gone through the same thing and can relate. Hang in there. I found the transition to being a working mom somewhat tougher than becoming a mom. It can be a lot to juggle. Take it one day at a time and prioritize to avoid wearing yourself out. Good luck!

S..

I went back to work the same time as you. My son is now 7 months. My mom stayed with him during the day at first before we got a nanny so that helped. I knew she would take good care of him. I pumped breastmilk twice a day at first so that gave me some quiet time to think about him and look at pics while I was here.
You will be fine, don't worry. It is hard, but you get into a schedule and everything works out.
EVerybody will be excited to see you and hear about the baby - try to focus on the joy you have to share!
Good luck and hang in there!!!!!!

I had an excellent Caregiver who understood that it was extremly difficult to go back to work so every hour or two she would send me a new picture message or email with a picture of her. I called waaay too much just so I could hear her voice and my desk is COVERED in pictures. Good Luck and remember it gets better.

I just recently had my second child (now 10 months old) and I am the main source of income in my family. It was definitely more difficult the second time for me because now there are two reasons to want to stay home. However, going back to work was a way for me to have some adult interaction and some independence. Trust me, there are days of guilt especially when they can talk and ask for me to stay home. But, I love when my work day is over and I can spend time with both of my children. Consider it a new challenge in your life that you will soon learn to balance. After all, you are now a successful mom, you can be that and so much more. Good luck.

I saw this cartoon and thought of you!
http://www.gomommygo.com/gommygojokes.html
Best,
R.

Good luck! It is truly one of the hardest things you will probably ever have to do. My daughter is now 7 and I still get sad and miss her all day, every day. I returned to work when she was 4 months old. What helped me was having someone I truly trusted. She was in an in home daycare where we were lucky enough that she was the ONLY infant in her care. Also, even to this day, my office is surrounded in her pictures and artwork. I also called continuously for my first few months back in the office. When I first returned back to the office I went to part time for the first 1.5 years back as well.
Good Luck!

I am a working mother of a 21 month old and I went back to work when he was 3 months old. I almost didn't go back because I was feeling guilty and knew I would miss him. It was really hard at first, but got better with time. I do have times that I have doubts(usually Mondays), but once I am back at work I am thankful for the time I have for myself and adult interaction. Being at work makes me a better mother because as my son has gotten older I am more patient and do not sweat the small stuff. When I am home, it is quality time for my son and I feel that is really important, even more so than me being at home with him. My son is well socialized and loves going to his "school". I read an article once about going back to work after you have a child and it gave some really good advice. It said, give it at least 6 months. I never regret my choice to go back to work as I feel that I have the best of both worlds and appreciate the time I do have with my son. I did have my husband drop him off the first day which really helped me. I knew if we both made it through the first day it would be okay and it was. Good luck and be strong, your child will be fine and you will too.

It is a hard transition; it helps to see it as a transition. Be kind to yourself as you figure out how to be a member of the workforce and a mom at the same time. I returned to work when my son was 6 months. It's been almost four weeks now, and I am still not comlpletely focused on my teaching like I was before my son was born, but I figure that it takes time to find a new rythm. Don't expect to be the same person, same employee you were before you left to have your baby. You aren't.

Like another mom mentioned, it really helps to have a daycare you feel good about. My son is so excited to see our daycare provider in the morning, and when I pick him up, he is so excited to see me. I like to think about all of the fun experiences he is having hanging around with other children, doing new and different things. It makes me appreciate my time with him all the more.

Good luck!

Oh My Goodness!! Going to work when I had both of my kids was incredibly difficult. Luckily I had family that baby sat for me so I didn't worry about a stranger taking care of my children. Man those first days are rough. But, don't worry...it does get better. All you can really do is just go. It's an emotional challenge for yourself when you go back to work. Just remember that your daughter will be fine and really happy to see you when you get home from work. Not all days will be good but most days are. I don't know if this really is advice but just wanted to share my experience with you and to let you know that there are many of these days to come. Motherhood rocks!!

My lil guy went to daycare at 4 months as well and I cried the whole first day. I work in downtown San Diego and in our building is a daycare...it's very expensive (but SOOO worth the money to have him close to me...I will eat top ramin every night if I have to to pay for the convenience :) ) but I went and visited him all day long. His teachers would call me when he woke from his nap and I was able to get on the elevator and spend time breastfeeding, etc. My suggestion is find a daycare that is close to you so you can visit throughout the day if possible. My little guy is 18 months old now and he LOVES going. We went through our "separation anxiety" time periods, but now he loves it and I spend my breaks with him.

As time goes on it will get easier...and it provides such wonderful stimulus for our little ones depending on what type of child care you have decided to go with!

BTW, not sure if you are breastfeeding...but I am still breastfeeding my little guy...SOOOOO, it's totally possible to do it and work full-time. I am a CPA so I have a demanding job, but my boss is very flexible and works around me making my little guy #1 !!!

I hope this helps!

i am a mommy of a 4 month old girl to and i have been back to work since she was 3 weeks old it was hard but i have grown to learn i am doing it for my baby. when was ur baby born. hope it helps u. u can e-mail me if u want at ____@____.com

Hi C.,
I think we have all gone through this. I know I did when I went back to work. I'm a little embarrassed to say but I cried like a baby every morning for the first week on my way to work. Luckily my son was staying with my mother in law durring the day and it was close to my office, so I would run home at lunch to see him. I hung pictures of him on every inch of my cubicle that I could. Once he started going to a regular daycare, I would call a few times a day and my daycare provider was fine with that and would even call me if I didn't call at my normal time. I left our camera in the diaper bag too so that if he did something, like roll over for the first time it could be caught on camera for me and my daycare provider was more than willing to ablige. Over time it got a lot easier to leave him for the day. I had to remind myself that I'm working to earn a better income which will in turn give my son the best life possible. I will admit though, that the sad feeling of leaving him has not fully gone away and there are still some mornings now that I get teary eyed leaving him at daycare, and he's over 2 now. (this could also be caused by the fact that I share custody with my ex so I don't get to see my son every night) It does get easier over time. I would explain to your boss the situation as well so that they understand if you come in a little late or need to take a longer lunch to run home to see your little one. Luckily my boss was very understanding, as he went through this with his wife =) I hope this helps! and just remember that you working and earning money will give them a better life with more possibilities and will teach them the importance of working and be responsible as an adult. =) Good luck!
Take care,
H.

I totally understand what you are going through, Michelle! I went back to work a month ago when my son was 4 months old. It sounds like your back-to-work date is set, but what helped me was that I started back on a Wednesday so that I didn't have to go a full week at first. I also decided to go back one day early (my return date was actually a Thursday) and work a half day only so that I could ease into it. But I cried that first day when I dropped him off at day care...and I looked at his picture a lot that first day. What I can tell you is that is gets easier! My son loves his day care. He is all smiles when I take him there and he's all smiles when I pick him up. At first he had trouble sleeping there and was crabby at night but now we've gotten into a pretty good routine. Good luck! I know it's not easy but it does get better.

I, too, just recently went back to work part-time. I have a 4 month old daughter. The anticipation of going back was worse than the work. I enjoy my job and everyone that I work with. I tried to adjust myself by being away from my daughter for periods of time before I actually went back to work. The first day is going to be tough. If you can, try not to work a full week. Try to start on a Wednesday, that way you only have a few days to get used to being away. Make sure that whoever is going to be taking care of your daughter is completely okay with you calling to check up on her during the course of the day and that they can get a hold of you as well for any emergency.
Good luck!

Hey C.,

I went back after 10 weeks and it was so hard. I cried on my way home from the hospital just imagining how I would leave the love of my life 10 wks later. But I promise it will get easier! I was pumping as well so I had to remember to do alot before I left the house in the morning. Just give yourself plenty of time in the morning so you're not racing around. For me I know I am so much happier contributing to the household and using my brain but I do miss my little guy so much. You're not alone. Good luck!

I stayed home as long as I financially could (~6 months) and I cried the entire drive back to work that first day (and that's a pretty long drive). It was kind of pathetic because I even played whiny, sad music to match my mood :) When I got to work I was literally and completely numb, both physically and mentally. I was just beside myself that I was even there.

But everyone was so glad that I was back and co-workers had even printed pictures off my website and posted my daughter's pictures (about 25 of them) all over the walls in the staff room. It was amazing to see they cared that much. They wanted to know everything about my experience and about my daughter, so it was like catching up with everyone. They didn't expect me to be a total work-horse that 1st day. It helps if you have a good relationship with your co-workers.

The first day is tough. It got a little easier every day. It helped to go to work 1-2 days the first week, 3 days the second, 4-5 days the third week. It's another life change you have to undergo as you transition from stay-at-home mom to career mom. If you breastfeed, the transition is a little tricky, as you have to also incorporate a pumping-milk- schedule into your usual work routine. I would advise when you get home, to totally spend quality time with your daughter. Leave any work thoughts at work. Focus on and catch up on the joy of having a child.

Being a career mom, for a few years now, is not so bad. It affords you some grown up time away from your kids. After many years of being full time, I am finally at a point where I only need to work part time now (3 days a week); it's a nice balance. (Though I'd still rather be home). Que Sera Sera.
I wish you well. Take care.

I went back to work almost 3 weeks after having my baby boy and 6 weeks after my little girl. It is tough and you will cry....I promise. But it does get easier and it (in my opinion) is good for your baby to get attention from somebody else so that they are not so completely attached to only you. If you don't get to emotional or stressed upon leaving them they will be less stressed about it as well and DO NOT hang around. When it is time to leave. Just go. It will be easier for both....I swear. And even if baby cries it will be only for a moment they are easily distracted. By the time you are at work the crying will be done and they will be smiling again.

Hi,

I went back to work after having my first baby when she was 6 months old. It was very diffficult. I would go to the restroom at work and would cry off and on the first week. I would rush home after work. As time goes on it gets easier. I think taking pictures to work with you if you can is good. That really helped me get through my days. Just rememeber it will get easier.

I have been a stay at home mom for 4 1/2 years and I am going back to work in two weeks. It is never easy to leave your babies. As long as you feel safe with who they are staying with and make sure to put special time aside for them when you get home they will be okay. When my husband goes on business trips we record him reading our daughters favorite books. You can tape record or video tape it makes my daughter feel like daddy is not so far away.
Good Luck,
Y.

C.,

I completely relate, although it's been a few years (my son is not 11). It WAS hard, and both of us cried a lot. But honestly, I think he adjusted quicker and easier than I did. It does get easier, and also, I finally got some 'rest' at work :). I was actually UNDERWEIGHT after having my son b/c I had no support system/family in my town, so when I got to sit down for a few hours, I was able to get back to normal.
The other thing that helps me a lot dealing with this (because I still think about it, whether I have deprived my son by being a working mom) is that my son will learn to respect working women, and have more respect for his future partner's job than his dad did. He will not think that women are 'supposed' to do one thing or another, he will perhaps be more supportive of his partner's career/work, and he will learn a good work ethic from me. In my case, I didn't really have the luxury of choosing to stay home. So another thing that makes me feel better is that I feel like I am a good provider for him---I just bought my own house for us.
Good luck, and hang in there.
C.

It will be very hard in the beginning, especially the first week. Don't be surprised if you have to cry it out a few times the first day, I know I did. And I would anxiously rush home after work, worried that an extra minute away from her would be a catastrophe of some sort. Just rest assured that your daughter will be fine, especially if you trust your daycare provider (this is a must!) A tip: it is easier if you start back to work on a Friday. That way, you know you only have to get through one day without her and then you have her all weekend. At work, take pictures or put pictures on your computer screen and daydream about your baby all day (that's what I did, at least the first week back). Keep yourself as busy as possible, and you might find that you actually enjoy being back at work and not home feeding and changing a baby all day. It was a little bit of a relief to me, being back at work, and it was fun seeing my work friends and sharing about the new baby. Then, of course I would feel guilty about enjoying it, but you shouldn't feel guilty. A baby will be happier if Mommy is happier, and you have to do things for yourself and your sanity. I hope this helps! Good luck and it will all be fine. After the first week, you won't have nearly the overwhelming feelings that you did at first.

I know how you're feeling, I felt that way too. It made me feel so conflicted. We needed the money but I wanted to be a SAHM so bad. My hubby had lost a good paying job and got another but it was a fourth the income. I went to work to try to keep us from filing bankruptcy. Had I known I would be working again I would have never had another child. I thought this one I get to raise from start to finish. Well your heart never gets over it. We are usually moms first and career women second. I did discover a way to eventually replace my income and get to stay home. I am sure you've been hit up by everyone else that has a home-based business opportunity. All I know is that my company guarantees everything you invest in so you can get all your money back except the shipping if you decide this isn't for you. You'll get to work this business Part-Time around your work and family schedule. Pay off all your debts so you'll need less to make each month and we do no selling or warehousing. Let me know if you want to know more. I wish the government would subsidize moms or dads to stay home with their children. But it seems they rather make us all work and pay for more policemen and jails. The world has gone crazy while our children are raised by strangers. My heart goes out to all of you who have to work outside the home. There is an answer if you're willing to have an open mind and see all the possibilities. My name is F. and my 3 minute toll free message is 866-673-8803. Give it a call, decide if you're interested. Refer others to the number if you feel inclined. God Bless You and Your Little One.

I had a tough time letting my three-month-old son be away from me when I went back to work as a teacher. It was very emotional, but I knew he was with people who loved him (my mother-in-law) and who would keep him very safe. I kept a picture of him close to me as I worked. I tried to incorporate him in the lessons I taught... telling the kids stories of what he did or what new things he was doing. As time went on and I saw that he was okay, it did get easier. He now has a close relationship with his grandma (which I am thankful for) and I do not regret the decision to return to work. He is four-years-old now, and I have not lost anything in close relationship to him myself. I made sure that the time I had with him was positive, quality time. God bless!

C., I am a first time mom. I had to get back to work (financial reasons) when my daughter was two months old. The one thing that made it a bit easier is that I found someone that I knew would take care of her as good as I would. That really made me feel much better. Even though the first day I took her was the hardest thing I had ever done. The babysitter was so sweet and comforting to me too, understanding what I was going through she let me know I could call her anytime and check up on my daughter or even stop by during lunch. During the day at work I couldn't even talk about my baby girl, I would start crying. My boss even let me go home early so I could be with her. But you are right it does get easier as time goes by. As long as you have someone that is great with kids and you know you can trust it will be okay. It will be okay C. just take it day by day. You will have something to look forward to at the end of a long work day. The beautiful smile of your daughter!!! Take care and let us know how it went. We are ther for you.

If you work close to home or the daycare center that your daughter will be in, maybe you can visit during your lunch hour? I actually welcomed going back to work after my first child was born, but it was because I was on bedrest for the majority of my pregnancy and didn't really have contact with many people for about 7 months. So, having to be around people again (other than my husband) and having conversations and not sitting at home watching t.v. all day was refreshing. After my second child was born, it was a little harder because I didn't have to be on bedrest and felt like the time I had off wasn't enough. It did help in both cases that my in-laws were taking care of my children when I returned to work. I didn't have added worries about having a non-relative take care of my children. Also, anytime I'm missing them I just visit them during my lunch hour. I only live about 10 minutes away from work, so it's easy to stop by the house and have lunch with them. It was hard when I put my oldest in pre-k part-time. But the center I enrolled her in is really great. I would call and check in a couple times during the day and they'd give me an update on how she was doing. Also, I would sometimes go there and observe her (without letting her see me because she had a hard time with the transition). Also, it's easier to start work in the middle of the week so that'll you can ease your way back into the work environment. Good luck with everything!

Hi,
I have three kids and work full time. I had to return to work after 6 weeks with my second, and that was the hardest thing I have ever done. It does get easier, and as soon as you finish that first day you will know that you can do it. Hopefully your job is very busy and you won't be able to think too hard about the fact you are away from your baby. I am a teacher and that is the only thing that saved me- is that work is so hectic that I found the day over by the time I got to stop and think about the baby. I really feel for you, and I hope that things go well. I wish I could tell you a magic formula to make it better, but it is like ripping a band aid off- you just have to get it over with.

Take a deep breath and just know going into it that that the first week is incredibly hard---and the first day is the worst. There's just no two ways about it. You wouldn't be a loving mom if you were HAPPY about going---and it is a really hard thing to do. But I really enjoy my job and once I got to work it enveloped me and I was able to get through the day. But I sobbed all the way to work and on then on the way home. The most important thing is to have good care for your child while you are at work. And when I got home, I concentated on the baby---forget about cooking and doing all the other things---get take-out. HIre a housekeeper if you can. My kids are now 9-13 years old and I wish I could tell you it get's easier, but it doesn't. It gets more complicated. But being a mom is hard work, 24-7. Thanks God for those moment of pure joy with your kids.

Michelle,
I had to go back to work after only 2 short months, I think at that time, you were only given 6 to 8 weeks of family leave time and boy was I miserable. Can you imagine 6 short weeks and being torn away from your baby! Whew I look back and wonder to myself how I got through that time. I remember I cried a lot, changed babysitters 3 times! Me and my husband were a wreck! always calling the baby sitters to check on the baby. One relief was that my job was only 5 minutes from the sitters home, so I could take my lunch break and go visit and sit with my baby for my lunch. It was really hard at first but in time it got better. Cry, call the sitters, cry again, then hold her from the time you get home until bedtime....lol
It will get better sweetie, hang in there.
P.S. Soon, you will be wishing to have some time all to yourself!
M. L.

I know how you feel. I was a nurse for over 10 years before becoming a mom, so if I went back to work it would be a LONG day away from my kids, especially a 12 hour shift, plus what I made would not come close or just break even with paying for childcare, and if my husband watched them all day , say, on the weekends when I worked, not only would he be in a bad mood working his regular job during the week then the whole weekend with the little ones, but we would have virtually NO family time! When one of my mommy friends introduced me to BeautiControl I jumped on the chance, and thought I would see how well I do working from home, having my own business for 6 months then reevaluate our options. I really am happy, feel like I have it all. Extra money, family time, my own identity, a feeling of accomplishment, and have made TONS of friends. Email me if you're interested. I would love to share the info with you and see if you would be able to do it!
D.
____@____.com

I understand your feelings. While I was out on maternity leave I developed severe symptoms of Carpal Tunnel and Trigger Thumbs which got me off work (I also had surgery) for another 1 1/2 years, which I was sooooo grateful for. There was no way I could go back after that, and I could no longer perform that line of work anyway, (because of my hand restrictions) so I became a licensed child care provider, caring for other working parents young kids to earn extra income. My daughter is now 5 and I am still hanging in there as a child care provider.
She loves having the other kids around to play with. Where there is a will there is a way.
Good Luck. I feel my prayers were answered.

C.,

You poor thing. I did the same when my children were babies. My daughter had the biggest blue eyes and she would just cry and hang on to me so of course, I felt like a bad parent. Then one day my friend who ran the daycare said..."You know, as soon as you leave she stops crying and is as happy as can be." That made me feel a little better.

Have you ever thought of starting a home business and working from home? My youngest is 17, but I could no longer work outside the home due to Fibromyalgia, so I now work from home with an Inc. 500 Wellness Company. If you'd like to email me, I'd be happy to help you get some more info or you can view my website at www.workathomeunited.com/T.

I really wish I had know about this company when my two children were babies, it would have been so much easier on all of us.

Best wishes to you and your family,

T.

My little one is 4 months too and I JUST went through this 2 weeks ago. Luckily, my work knows hat being a parent is my first priority and I went back part time. For me, it was helpful to do two days back one week and then I did my regular schedule of 4 days. That seemed to help both me and her adjust. Bottom line, being at home with your baby is always better, but for me it feels good to be needed other than to feed my baby or change her diaper. It's also good to get out and about.

If I could stay at home with her all the time I would, but a co-worker made a good point that it's not quantity of time, but rather the quality of time. I still don't think I would be okay being away for a lot of time.

Hi Michelle,
I'm a working mother of a five-and-a-half month old and know exactly how you feel. I was weepy the entire week leading up to it. I cried all morning the day of and all the way to work, too. That first day was the worst. Every time someone said, "It's good to have you back" I felt like responding, "Well, it stinks to be here." I'm sure everyone is telling you that it gets easier as time goes by. And it does. Just hang in there, take it one day at a time, and cherish the moments you get. That's why I try to do, anyway.

ok...let me just say...there's no cure! i'm so sorry to tell you. time will heal this one! my first week, especially, i was on another planet (and i work with kids so i had to hear crying, etc. the whole time). i wanted to call every 5 seconds. i didn't though. i was working only part time at first. i think i called once while at work or not at all. set times to call and check coz at least that will ease your mind at first. and remember, your baby doesn't know the difference. it's all about your feelings!!! as long as babies are loved and taken care of well, they don't mind if mommy leaves.
my heart is with you...good luck!!

My son started daycare when he was just 6 weeks old. It was VERY hard for the first couple of weeks. I was lucky enough to find a daycare close to work, so I would go and see my baby everyday during lunch. You can also call and check on your baby as much as you want. The care provider should be used to worried moms frequent calls! Good luck, and yes it will get easier to deal with as long as you know your baby is being well cared for.

I returned to after almost a year of being at home with my youngest child. I realized that if I had anxiety then my baby would pick up on it. If you are at peace about where yur daughter will be during the time that you are at work then your next move is to trust God and accept that His perfect plan for your family will continue to unfold. You and your daughter will be fine.

I remember it well! The good part was that my mother was going to watch my daughter -- that's just an extension of me. Well, second to my husband, of course.
As sad as I was, the utter JOY I felt upon coming home was the best! Work was a "break" and it actually rejuvenated me. By the time I got home, I was ready and thrilled to be at my daughter's side. It'll take some adjustment, but the two of you will never lose a beat.

I returned to work in December after 3 months of being with my little man. It was and still remains difficult. Honestly, the intensity of the emotions get better, but the difficulty is still there. This is my first and my emotions of just not wanting to miss something and what if he needs me kind of thoughts continually run through my head. Another aspect that has changed for me is, I used to be very flexible with my schedule and have the 'whatever is needed' kind of attitude. Now, my heart has taken over and I'm there to do my job and go home. I want to get back to my son. You may experience the same kind of feelings. But just know that it's normal and the intensity will lessen over time. Hang in there!

Hi Michelle,

If at all possible try to go back for half a day to get used to the routine. I did the half a day for 3 weeks when I returned to work and it made my transistion so much easier. Good luck... You will do just fine!

Shami Espinoza

It probably will be one of the hardest things you have done. I left my son at daycare at 10 weeks old for the first time and I cried A LOT! I also made sure that they understood I would be calling at random times throughout the day to check in. My provider was awesome and very receptive to my millions of phone calls those first couple of weeks. It did get easier as time went on, but it is never easy (unless you just need a break! and that day will come too.) Just expect tears and remember to keep extremely busy at work so that the time flies by. You will cherish your time with her even more after being away all day. Good luck!

It sucks going back to work and there's no other way to say it. The upside is that you baby girl is so young she's too small to remember any of this. The times that will be really hard to miss while you're working are the times when she's walking and talking. It's still sucks and she's going to start developing so fast you won't believe it. Just cherish the times you are home with her. Try not to beat yourself up about going back to work. It happens. You'll do harder things down the road with your little sweetheart. This transistion will be tough and there may be a few tears but you'll be OK. The sadest part for me was sitting in a tiny space with out windows, pumping during my lunch breaks. If you're breastfeeding it's totally possible to continue as long as you pump. Good luch new mommy. Take care.

I was the same way before going back...I cried numerous times a day for about 2 weeks beforehand (I have been back at work now for 4 weeks). It is extremely hard, but you will get through it. Take lots of pictures with you so you can see her beautiful face all day long and don't feel bad for calling and checking in on her 10 times a day - you will adjust and so will she. The best part is coming home from a long days work and she has the biggest smile on her face as soon as she sees mommy!!! Hang in there!

Hi C.,

I have to agree with all the other great advice given from all the other wonderful moms. Take it one day at a time and just know that it takes time to adjust. I'm sure you and your daughter will get through this. Good Luck and let me know if you have any questions (I've been there and done that)and also how it goes.
Take care,

N. Reed

I cried at least three times the first day and then everyday for another week and I have onsite daycare! It's never easy, especially the first. Having onsite daycare was a blessing as I was able to go visit my son and continue to breastfeed him for 16 months (his choice to quit). If possible get a daycare close to your work that has an open door policy. This gives you the most piece of mind and helps with a tough transition.

Hi C.,

I know exactly how you feel. I've been back to work about a month and half now and there are days I still get weepy when I leave in the mornings. The first day was insane... I cried my entire drive to work and I have a 45 minute commute! I called home every hour to see how my son was doing... what time he finally woke up, what time he ate, was his diaper changed, did he get tummy time, etc. All I can say is that it does get easier. You'll never stop worrying. I still call, although it's now every couple hours or so and there are still times I cry, but it will get better. Plus, the best feeling is when you get home and your daughter flashes you that great smile, letting you know that she missed you too. Enjoy your daughter! I'm a first time mom and my son is almost five months now and I'm enjoying every minute of it!

Hi Michelle.

Going back to work was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do--it just felt so wrong (even with my husband staying home with our daughter!) I cried all day long on the first day. Thankfully everyone I work with was really understanding. I think it is harder on the moms than it is on the babies! I did start back mid-week and I left at 2pm. I think that helped a lot. What also helped is my daughter used to wake up about an hour before I needed to leave for work, so I spent that hour with her. Sometimes I still cry when I leave just because I love her and want to be with her, but it is definately easier now.

Be tender with yourself right now and honor yourself for your deep connection with motherhood.

Hi! My daughter started daycare at 4 months old.
Before I went back to work, I spent an hour with my daughter at the daycare, watching the staff interacting with her and asking a trillion questions. You may be able to do this now, before she officially enrolls. Then on the first day, I told the daycare she would be there half a day, but came to pick her up after two hours, so I could see how the staff behaved when they were not expecting to see me. And they passed the test! The second day I did four hours, the third I did six hours etc. They have always been good.
My daughter is now in pre-K and reading and drawing and highly active. I don't regret sending her to school so young for a second.

C.,
I went back to teaching full time when my son was 8 months. It wasn't easy, but I did it because it was what I had to do. I am pregnant now and will have to go back to work when the baby is 4 months or so. Just keep in mind you are doing what is best for your family, and that is providing for them. If you didn't have to go, you wouldn't, right? You are doing the best for your little one, so feel good about it!

Dear C.,

Hi. I know exactly how you feel. When I had my 1st duaghter who is now four I went through the same thing. So what did I do? I never went back. I couldn't stand the thought of being away from her 40 hours per week. I looked for business's I can do from home. I found one that can make me the same type of income working part time from home that I made working 40 hrs per week in an office. I now have a 6 month old baby and I'm able to work this business and be home with her and my four year old. If you want information about how to do this, you can write me back and I can give you the info.

1st- I didn't think about it until a day or two before. Or else I would have cried every day:(
What I was concerned with was her taking the bottle.
2nd- I knew she was in good hands with my husband and my parents.
That made all the difference in the world.
3rd- Call any time to see how she is doing. That will help out.
It was very hard for me also and I have only been back at work for 2 weeks. I had to leave her for work on the mainland for 3 days before I started back. Just think good thoughts.
Hope you have that same situation. It will be ok. Your baby will be better than ok.
It is just us that have this issue. :)

Just know that it is going to suck for that first week. You'll cry your eyes out on your way to work, probably get weepy at work, and drive like a bat out of hell to get home to your darling daughter. But it does get easier. And your baby doesn't know you are gone, b/c they generally are having a great time. You'll be fine once you ease into it. And soon, it will be nice to have some adult time and then you'll appreciate the time with your family so much more when you get home. And the look on their face when they see you walk in the door is awesome :)

I have read before that starting back to work is easier if you start mid-week. Say on a Wed or Thurs, work a few days, and then have the weekend again before you start a full week. It helps the baby and the mom prepare better and it's a little easier knowing it's only for 2 or 3 days the first week, instead of 5 in a row.

I waited a year to go back when my girls were little. I got remarried and have a 17-month-old son now too. I knew I just didn't want to face putting him in daycare, so I did an online course to become a medical transcriptionist. Now I work from home and I'm always with him. I work while he's sleeping and napping. If any of you reading are interested in the school I went to or have any other questions, send me a private message. You don't even need a medical background to do it, they teach you everything you need to know.

C.,

I also returned to work when my daughter was 6 weeks old. It is hard, but there are several things about this that are VERY important. First, you are doing something that you've decided is right for you, and that is an important lesson for women to teach their daughters. Even if you were to stay home with her, she cannot be your whole life or you lose track of yourself and she replaces what goes missing . This is very unhealthy and can lead to a dependence or a co-dependence that is not good for either one of you.

Second, you are modeling what you expect her to do for herself, and that is to provide for herself. Another important lesson for women is that there is no knight in shining armor that is going to come save you from yourself. And if she learns by seeing that mommy can take care of herself, it is very good to see!

So modeling these two things is part of what you are doing in returning to work. When I remember this, it helps me to get through missing her during the day!

Good luck!
T. (mom to Olivia - 9 months)

Going back to work is truly hard. I wish I could tell you I had figured it out. I went back to work after 6 months home and was still nursing, which meant a lot of pumping. At the time, my employer was willing to let me work one day a week from home, which was so great in letting me have more time with my son and less child care to pay for. Now my son is 2 1/2 and new management has said I can't work from home anymore. I chose to take a demotion and a pay cut to go part time so I can be home one day a week. Anyway, there's no "right" answer - all you can do is take it day by day and listen to your feelings. Your baby will be fine no matter what because you love her - so if you work or not, full time, part time, she will know you love her and do well. It's your own wellbeing that's harder to pay attention to, but you need to to make sure you don't end up unhappy yourself. I know moms that are even happier at work after having a kid, and moms who quit working altogether to be stay at home moms. It is hard for all of us to make it work. Just be kind to yourself and listen to yourself. And in the first week, don't expect to be full time. Plan to go in for a few hours each day if you can and then come home. Also they say don't start on a Monday. Start on a Wed or Thurs so your first week is a short one. Ease into it. Sorry for venting, but I hope this helps instead of scaring you. Good luck!

Hi C.,

Yes, it was very hard going back to work and not being with my baby for hours a day. It gets a little easier because you learn to accept that this is the way things are at the moment.

I have a few suggestions to make it a little easier for you:

ONE: find a baby sitter that you feel very comfortable with. Maybe someone referred by a good friend of yours so that you are at peace knowing that your child is being well taken care of.

TWO: Call the babysitter several times a day so you feel at peace that your child is okay. If she's a good babysitter, she will have no problem with you calling so much. Eventually, you won't call but maybe once a day just to check up on her.

THREE: If you can, you can try to shorten your work schedule by a few hour a day. Some places understand. Then, once you've gotten used to not having your baby with you for a while, you can change your schedule hours to full time again OR keep it short if it's doable with your work and your income.

My daughter seems very happy with her babysitter. My husband sometimes feels a little jealous that our daughter likes it there, but I prefer seeing her happy than upset when dropped off. She's 9 months now and she's never cried when dropped off. She's been with her since 3 months old. Unfortunitely not all mothers have the luxury of staying home after having a baby.

I hope this helps you.

Good luck,
M.

C.,

Just take it one day at a time and cut yourself as much slack as you can. You will be emotional and exhausted but it does get easier.

How did I cope? Not very well. LOL But we all survived!

:-)T.

its never easy; having to go back to work. Of course having a daycare provider that you can trust is half the battle. Next make sure she is going to be ok if you call several time a day, especially that 1st week, as the both of you are adjusting. One thing that I found out that was nice, make sure she doesn't tell you when your daughter does something new. Like she rolled over for the 1st time, this why you don't feel cheated out because you are working. Good luck.

Hi C.;

Do you have a relative who will babysit her? How far is your work to your house, if it is close by, please try to spend your one hour lunch to see her or fee her so that the bonding will be there also. But if it is impossible, can your husband/relations of yours can afford to support you and the baby while you're raising your daughter and work part time when she started to go to kindergarten school. I know I don't like both parents working because lot of children in america are left by themselves especially when they come home from school. I have four children and raised them while my husband supported us all of us because my husband owned her computer imaging company. I stay home mom and keep my children busy at school,extra curricular activities,boy scout,girl scout. If you can squeeze your budget plan so that you don't have to work, it is better for children to be raised by their mother than babysitter. You as a mother will be a great role of model and good influencial with your daughter's life. Good luck.

A.

It will be hard no matter what you will do but it will eventually pass. I would start by saying that it is important to involve the caregiver in the process so it depends on what kind of daycare arrangement you have. I had to go back to work when my daughter, Emma, was 4 months old but fortunately I leave close to my work place and my mom was taking care of my little one. What I did is I arranged a schedule around Emma's - at that time she was waking up at 6am so I would breastfeed her and put her back to sleep and be in the office at 7 the latest. My mom would call me when Emma was waking up and we would either have a webcam chat for a few minutes or I would go home for a bit. At lunch we would spend about an hour together and during that time I would breastfeed her (and try to eat something myself :o). Because I was in the office early I could also leave home early. This made me feel good for a while but eventually drained me. Other things we did: I would also leave little treats (new inexpensive toys, new music CDs - she adored music) for Emma and ask my mom to either videotape her or tell me how she reacted. We kept a journal and at evening I would read it and write some thoughts of my own, we would do something extra special in weekends. So, my advice to you - if permitted, try to work less hours the first 2 weeks, do little things that would keep you connected and most of all, take care of yourself and don't despair... babies are extremely resilient and somehow they still know mommy is the most important person in their life.
Good luck and take one day at a time!!

Dear C.,
If the baby is with someone you trust (which she should be) then that's half the battle. You just have to pretend you're going out for the night to the movies and left your daughter with the babysitter. Once you get back to work, you'll be so busy that you won't obsess about it. And you can check in during the day for updates.

I cried the first day but after that it was fine. My son spent half the week with my husband and 1/2 in daycare (starting at 2 months old) and he actually benefited greatly from the daycare experience. There was no problem or separation anxiety when he started pre-school because he was used to daycare. He never cried and didn't care if we left him there.

So you'll be fine. The key is to have confidence in the person who is watching the baby and you'll have nothing to worry about.

However, it doesn't get rid of the guilt you feel for going back to work. Because I don't see my son all day, I tend to keep him up too late because that's my only time with him during the day and I buy him gifts all the time because I feel guilty for working. So try not to let the guilt of working get to you either.

Good luck! You'll be fine.

L.

Hi, I can sympathize with you. It is very hard, I returned to work on 2/14/08. I would recommend returning to work on a Wednesday or Thursday so that you only have to be apart for a couple of days initially and then you have the weekend together again. Plus, that breaks both you and your daughter in a little more slowly. Also, call the daycare provider a couple of times a day. I don't say "bye bye" to my daughter. I kiss her and tell her I will see her later. Hopefully, if you are lucky she will be asleep when you drop her off/leave her. It does make it a bit easier. Good-Luck and just like delivery we all get through it. K.

Hi Michelle, I too went back to work when my daughter was 4 months old and believe me it was super hard, but I promise you it does get easier especially as she gets older and less dependant. Although I would love to be home with my daughter, having her in a SMALL in-home daycare gives her a chance to socialize with other kids. Good luck and congrats on your baby!

I was a completely stressed out, depressed and feeling so guilty before I had to go back to work. I can totally understand the anxiety you are feeling. The thought of leaving that precious baby girl with anyone else is really hard to cope with. All I can tell you is enjoy every minute up to then. Take lots of pictures with you on your first day and call every couple of hours and talk to the person taking care of your baby to see how she is doing. I have found that once I was back in a routine at work (after about 2-3 days) it got easier. As long as I was busy and focused on something, I was ok.
More importantly though - when you come home from work, make time for baby. Spend as much time with her as you can and save any chores you think you need to do for later - when baby is sleeping, or whenever. I am gone out of the house 11 hours (due to my commute) - so once I am home, my number one focus is my little girl (who will be 1 next week). Dinner and whatever other chores are secondary :-)

Hi C.,
I know exactly how you feel!!! Your are not alone.
The best advice I have is the following.
1) find a family day care place. As the legal allowable ratio in most child care facilities is for one adult per 4 babies. Four babies???? Not for me. Look for a place, preferably a home environment where there are 2 or 3 adults. But most if not all the others are toddlers. That way your baby is the only baby.
2) finding an environment like that make it a little easier for you leave her in a place where you know she will be watched and cared for.
3)find a place close to you so you can pop in at any time. First to just see what goes on, and also to just get a quick dose of seeing your daughter.
4) instead of starting back to work on a Mon, start work on a Wed or Thu. That way the weekend comes quickly.

I think the main fear factor is that she is well cared for, loved, and happy. Kids are happy with other kids.

Hey Michelle,

In some ways it gets easier becuase you will both get used to you not being there 24/7, and in some ways it never really changes because you will always miss her. I was lucky in that my husband works at home, so while she was with a babysitter (so he can still get work done) one of us was at least in the house. That helped. Having the whittlestone pump helped because I knew she was still getting my milk and it was quick and easy to use. Mosstly though, knowing that as she grows she will need more and more space and independence helped too. Believe it or not, kids can get too much mommy (I teach and know quite a few). With my daughter now a toddler, I wish I didn't have to be full time, but I'm glad she has lots of time with Daddy and with Michiko (a wonderful lady who also adores her and provides her with fun, nuturing, and discipline when I can't be there). I think she learns a lot from this set up and its great that she has multiple people to interact with and learn from.