Considering So-sleeping

Updated on April 05, 2008
M.W. asks from Old Forge, PA
26 answers

My daughter is 7 months old and is beginning the process of teething. She was sleeping well before teeting and waking only once or twice a night to nurse and had no trouble getting back to sleep. Now shen she goes back to sleep after nursing she wakes up and cries within 30 minutes. I've been taking her into our bed because I don't want her to cry because her nose is stuffy from teething. She does sleep better with us. My main concern is that she will get used to coming into our bed and I will have a hard time getting her into her crib. Any thoughts?

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C.H.

answers from Allentown on

How about giving her little tylenol then. Also saline drops, humidifier also.

Yes she will get use to it if you continue.

S.Y.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I get the best of both worlds!
I have my 6 month old daughter's crib right next to my bed with the rail down (she is low enough on the mattress that it is safe. She is really teething right now and sometimes just throwing my arm over and having her cuddle my hand back to sleep is comforting for us both (plus I too can catch some zzzzs). I never intended to co-sleep earlier but would find myself inadvertently passing out from fatigue and then waking up while I was in the process of shifting my leg over her chest! Needless to say, that panicked me enough to find a safer option for us...and having the crib next to my bed has been great....the closeness PLUS the peace of mind. :)
Good luck!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think she will definitely get used to sleeping with you and then it will be REALLY hard to stop it. If she is stuffy, try running a cool-mist humidifier in her room and put phone books or blocks under the two legs at the head of her crib to help clear her stuffy nose.

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L.V.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My baby is almost 6 months. Sometimes I can get him to sleep in his crib, sometimes I can't. If he is having a bad night, I will bring him in bed with me. Better for us both to get some sleep then both be miserable the next day. A good friend of mine told me when I first started doing this and everyone else told me not to that "they are only babies once, and you just need to do what is best for them and make them happy." If it feels ok to you and your little one is getting better rest this way I say go for it. Hope this helps.

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L.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

M.,
Co-sleeping is wonderful! Go for it! Brianna has her own crib and has been in it since 6m, but when she is sick, or we are just too comfy in bed with her (daddy, doggie, B & me!), she'll sleep with us. She also sleeps in her crib, no problem--sometimes she asks to go in her crib, when we are done with stories, snuggling and nursing and I guess she wants her own space! Too funny.
Give it a try!
If you have any specific questions, feel free to e me directly.
smiles,
L., 39
Brianna 21m & yes! still bf'ing!
and baby
in Evansburg/Skippack/Collegeville
butterflylindamarie at yahoo dot com

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J.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

This is an easy one! Get a co-sleeper, attachit to your bed. She still has her own turf, yet she's within arms didtance for soothing and nurturing back to sleep. My daughter is BI proponent of co-sleeping, #3 is onthe way and will have his/her own spot right beside Mom!The baby on the bed with you is fine whenall are awake, but iffy when you sleep. With a co-sleeper bed all are safe, have a feeling of their own bed, and don't have near the problems going back to their own rooms. I pray this helps...Check out the co-sleepers at Babaiesrus...blessings

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H.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

HI M.,

My son is four months old and I usually bring him into bed around 5:30am to nurse. he sleeps the rest of the night with us. In most countries all over the world co-sleeping isn't even an issue - they just have a family bed and that is that. I remember crawling into my parents bed at 5 when i had a nightmare. It was the safest place int he world. I felt the freedom to be able to choose to get into bed with them because they ahd brought me into bed with them as an infant. I'm still very close with my parents. Do what you feel is right. Your baby needs to feel safe and know that her needs are going to be met.
Good luck.
H. M

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M.M.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I am not adding much into my reply since Sara has said much of what I would want to say, also the collection of thoughts are better put than I would have done it.

My addition is: I have 3 children, 1 dd 18 and 2 young sons 6 & 8.

My younger sons are much more secure. I have only paritally co-slept with my dd and most did what I could to get her back to her room for sleep.

I now sleep better with my sons and they are better.

Having her now an adult, I am appreciating my time with the boys differenetly. When my husband was alive he was part of the co-sleeping picture too and also was comfortable having little people in the middle of our sleeping world.

good luck in your decision. even if they sleep with you, and you can't get rid of them to save your life, rest assured it is not forever! :)

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A.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

I would do what works for you. I was so afraid to let our older daughter sleep with us b/c people's comments. now with our second daughter she sleeps with us b/c that works and our older sleeps just fine now.

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C.D.

answers from Altoona on

My daughter co-slept with us for her first year. Then she slept in the crib until she awoke early in the morning, and came into bed and nursed right back to sleep, and slept a couple more hours. Then at around 18 mos. all of a sudden she wanted to sleep in the crib, and I kept waking up before her, worrying about her for no reason. I couldn't believe she was sleeping 10 hours by herself! Now she's 21 mos., and she still does unless she's sick or teething, but it's so easy to lie down with her. Sharing our bed has facilitated so much bonding that will last forever.

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C.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi M.,
All Im going to say is DONT DO IT! To all you first time mom's - the worst mistake you can make is allowing your kids to sleep with you. YOU WILL REGRET it..All the sudden they are 5 years old and WONT sleep in their own bed!
Just suffer through these few weeks of teething. All will be fine.
Cindie

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A.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Our pediatrician always told us that whether you co-sleep or not is your own personal choice and isn't detrimental to the child one way or the other. HOWEVER...he said that whatever you decide, be prepared to live with that decision for a LONG time! My husband takes phone calls in the middle of the night so it was an easy decision for us to not co-sleep. The other aspect that made us decide against it is that the period after the kids go to sleep is OUR time if you know what I mean...if you feel like waking at any moment to have some intimacy, you can't do it with a kid in your bed.

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J.M.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi M.,

I co slept with my son from the time he was 4 months old until he was about 11 or 12 months old. He stopped sleeping through the night at 4 months when I went back to work and cosleeping allowed him to nurse while I still got some sleep. It was ideal for us. The transition back into her own bed may be difficult depending on when you do it. We did it between 11-12 months because my son was just too squirmy in bed and my hubby and I weren't sleeping well. If you wait until they are a little older to transition it may be easier because they understand better.

There are many people who cosleep and it is a great thing to do.

Good luck with your decision.

J.

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L.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

I say let the baby sleep with you. BUT yes your life will be harder later.

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S.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

There are different opinions on this subject. My son was the same way-when he started teething he had trouble sleeping, so we brought him into bed- mostly so he won't cry because of a stuffy nose. We would start him off in his crib and when we heard him wake up we would take him into bed with us. Eventually he stopped teething (for a little while) and was able to sleep in his crib. For my husband and I we perferred him in his crib becasue we slept better. If I had a better night sleep then we all had a better day, that's why we encouraged him to sleep in his crib and make exceptions if he is teething or sick. I hope this was a little helpful.

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L.E.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think you are very right in that she may get used to coming into your bed. It is hard not to let her cry but best advice is to go and soothe her and return to your bed. It will be hard at first, but she will learn quickly. It is very difficult on us Moms to let them cry and to ultimately become very tired as a result of continuously getting up to soothe them. It really does work if you can stick to your guns. Good luck!

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M.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

My DD slept with us until she was 3mos, then into her cosleeper until 6mos, then to her crib. I BF until she was 1year. I stopped BFing her in the night once she was eating solids, around 7mos.

We found that we needed to stick to our choice bc as soon as we changed the routine, she adjusted and would fuss if she didn't get what she wanted. For instance, there have been a couple occasions where she wakes screaming at night and I rush in bc I think something has happened, she learns I will come in just from that one time...and will wake screaming until I go to get her, at which point we make the decision to just stop going in and she learns she won't get what she wants and she stops waking in the night.

It's your choice, but in our opinion...our DD becomes conditioned very easily when there is any change in routine, and she will take advantage. Teething stinks, have you tried using a humidifier in the room to help with the stuffiness?

Good Luck

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M.M.

answers from Pittsburgh on

We co-slept with our son from birth to age 3. It was a wonderful experience. We didn't have any issues of moving him to his own bed because it was his decision. If your daughter sleeping with you helps everyone get more sleep, then do it. I always felt that getting a good night's sleep was more important than worrying about where everyone was sleeping.

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N.C.

answers from Harrisburg on

We had a similar situation & spoke to our pediatrician about it. She told us that our son was crying because the congestion was clogging his nose. She recommended that we place a thick book under his crib mattress. The book (placed close to the headboard) created an incline to allow the congestion to flow. He slept a lot better after we did that. Good luck - & best wishes for more sleep =O}

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A.B.

answers from Lancaster on

I totally regret letting my kids into our bed. My daughter is almost 7 and still BEGS to sleep w us...our son is almost 4 and will not sleep anywhere else only w us. It is not only frustrating to get space to sleep, but the intimacy w my husband is definitely lacking. So while it is convenient now-it won't be later....and it is a grueling process to switch them back. Our youngest is teething too and while we have brought him in a few times-we now try to at least move him back into the crib when he falls asleep.

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M.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

Just another option - put some some towels or a pillow 'underneath' the mattress on one side to prop it up to help your daughter breath with a humidifier and those little vicks plug ins work great too.

Good luck!

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R.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I was in your exact position. From 4 weeks to 6 months my daughter was a decent sleeper. From 6 months to the eve of her first birthday was sleep deprivation to its finest. I have no idea why but the eve of her birthday it just clicked. Just remember the easiest thing to do is not always the best thing to do. Your daughter may sleep well with you but how are you sleeping? My guess is not so well. Hang in there.

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S.R.

answers from Pittsburgh on

She will probley get use to sleeping with you and you will probley have a hard time getting her back in her own bed. It really is up to you.

I let my first daughter sleep in our bed. When my second daughter came along. I had no choice, but to get her out of our bed. There was no enough room for both girls in our bed.

I sleep on the floor of my daughter's room for a year until they got use to sleeping in their own room. My oldest is 6 and youngest is 4 and I still lay with them untill they go to sleep (in their own beds), then I go in my own room. It has been a long, tiring time trying to get them to sleep in their own room, but at the time it was easier for me to just let my daughter sleep with me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you start it, please know that when you are ready to move her out of your room it may be a long, hard process. But then again, I look at it this way....They grow up so fast, one day they will not want you to stay with them. Although it was hard to get my daughter to sleep in her own room, I miss the times that I was able to hold her while she slept.

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C.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

I have an 8-month old, and my husband and I decided we did not want to co-sleep for a number of reasons: safety (I would be paranoid of rolling) and we wanted our own space and time together. We did have him in a bassinet in our room for 5 or 6 weeks. That said, my son is currently teething and has a cold and is waking up at night! He hasn't needed to eat at night since he was 3 months old, so I don't usually nurse him when he wakes up now. The other night I needed to feed him because he was awake for 2 hours - bouncing and rocking didn't work that time. I just figure that there will be nights like this, and he slept later to make up for the rough night. I don't want to bring him into my bed now either, because we have had some tough times trying to get him to sleep in his crib for naps instead of a swing. Basically, any habit you start will be a process to break - just depends on when you want to deal with it. I wanted to break him into his crib for naps before he could stand up and yell for "mama." That would have been harder for me. Anyway, I would recommend Hyland's Teething Tablets. They are sold at Walmart in the baby section. They are homeopatheic (no meds) and seem to help him fall back to sleep.

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S.M.

answers from Harrisburg on

Hi M., I have 3 kids & all three slept with us when they were small. We don't believe it's wrong to have them with us because it's the most natural thing to do. All have grown healthy, confident & secure. I think especially when your child is small, it's important for them to feel your touch & closeness, this builds their secuirty & helps them to know your love for them( & also how she deals with other people).I think you should not worry at all about this,we allow too many times society to dictate to us, sometimes on how we should deal with our kids etc. I've seen in other cultures how close the children are to their parents & it's a lifelong relationship. Especially when the baby is sick, their natural tendency is to be with their mother( to be held, comforted & cuddled), so it'll sad to separate her/him at that time. We should follow our own instincts, what our motherly feelings tell us. after all they grow up real fast & you will miss these moments. What you do for her now will help her in the long run. Hope this helps. Sara

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N.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

We let our son come into bed rather regularly when he began teething around 6.5 months. While I don't regret the decision and he did better in bed with us for a time, co-sleeping is very h*** o* us now (at 9.5 months as he wakes frequently whining and wanting to nurse frequently). Breaking our little guy of the habit has been very difficult. Just our story. I don't think there is one right answer for everyone.

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