"Bribing" My Son to Eat?

We allow DD fruit many nights if she does well on her dinner. She'd normally get fruit anyway, but we hold it back til she's gotten enough chicken or whatever. And if she wants candy, she knows full well that she can't have any without healthy food so if she did a poor job on lunch, no candy. We don't force her to eat and if at the end of a meal she's just not hungry then that's fine. We've been doing it this way for a while and are just not angry about food. She can ask to be excused and not have that treat and that's fine. She's 3 and the pediatrician says she eats a nice variety. We had DD sit with us playing before she ate with us and only sat as long as she was able when she was really little. She enjoyed the interaction, as we do dinner as a family event. She was thrilled to pieces when I first set her tray with her OWN cup/plate/silverware.

I've done the same thing. I thought it was funny I'd say "You can have watermelon when you eat 3 bites of your __." I mean, fruit is great for him! I can't believe I'd tell a child 'no fruit' until he ate a certain something else. But alas - I have said such phrases.

So don't beat yourself up. You do what you gotta do to make sure your child is getting the nutrition he needs. IMO, you should probably do similar at breakfast and lunch. "We can play outside when you finish 5 more big boy bites."

he's only 19 months, but i am sure that soon this tactic will stop working as he realizes that he can "hold out" for something better. "bribing" in general will always backfire eventually...so it's good that you are aware of it and are looking out for other options.

maybe try using the cottage cheese as a sort of "dessert", i.e. if you clean your plate you can have some cottage cheese! that way you aren't doing all the legwork of counting three bites, cajoling/begging/negotiating for every bite. it's up to him whether he eats his dinner or not. i bet he's old enough to understand that. just keep his portions small to make it fair. good luck!

As the mother of a kid that eats (literally) everything, I would take the cottage cheese and run with it....cottage cheese doubles, ricotta in lasagna, etc.
I'm thinking that using the cottage cheese "carrot" will make him focus on that O. food all the more. Better to incorporate the cottage cheese & other faves into what he's having.

But you know the dinner mantra of the toddler--any port in a storm!

... my son is now 5, and eats a good variety of things.
He, was since 6 months old, a VERY picky eater and a VERY busy boy.
We never bribed him to eat, nor made any kind of power struggle or battle.

The thing is: Compared to my daughter, who does eat well at EACH meal, my son is a "grazer." I know that about him.
So, I do not, expect him, to eat a full plate of food, at each sitting. He.is.a.grazer. As is my Husband.
So, I taught him to eat per his body's cues... for hunger and fullness. And he knows his body, REAL well.
He eats when hungry. Stops when full.
That is the healthiest way to eat.
My Daughter though she is a different style of eater, only goes by her body's cues.
Neither of them, eat for emotional reasons or boredom or to please someone or because they are forced.
It has worked out well.
They are healthy.
They don't starve.
They know their body.
They have no food issues.
I don't expect them to eat like *me.*
They do, not, starve.
And, when my kids are especially tired... they cannot eat nor want to.
But we do all sit at the table, at dinner or meals.
Because... "eating" is NOT the only focus, at dinner. Being with each other is... and chatting and about our day. It is about, fun and bonding. Not about quantified food intake.

Food and eating, should not be a power struggle or battle.
Otherwise, a child "learns" to eat, for the wrong... reasons.
Kids, need to learn, their biological cues for hunger or fullness.

.

bribing has a bad rap. But I think that some children need it. We don't always bribe with treats, but movies, or jacuzzi time, evening walk, trip to park (things we were going to do anyways, but would be willing not too if she did not cooperate). I guess you can say we try to make the food issue more cause and effect than bribery "if you don't eat your lunch we can't go to the park". I would say its not ideal, but some kids don't respond to much else and then you are in a position of nagging and frustration. I admire parents who put out food, let the kid eat what they want and not offer anything until next meal time. But then you have to be willing to deal with your low blood sugar melt down monster child.

You are doing great! I tell my son he can have his gummy bears if he eats his dinner. By gummy bears I mean his gummy vitamins and calcium supplement. He would get those anyway, there is just an incentive when otherwise there wouldn't be. Some kids are just not as motivated by food as others.

YOu are fine! I think the pediatrician told us that at that age, if they don't ea, then they should not sit at the table. I may be wrong! Like you said, you are offering good options, so he will eat when he wants. My 2 1/2 year old has barely eaten lately. She is fine with weight and as long as your son is not losing weight, then you are doing fine!!

I think there is a difference between bribery and a reward. Bribery to me is the parents who have to buy something for their child to get them to do anything. Basically in bribery, the child is in control because they are "holding out" until they get something from the parents.

Rewards are when the parent is in control and they are rewarding the positive behavior.

It sounds to me like your son is getting a reward for doing the right thing. I don't see anything wrong with that, in life we all get rewards for doing what we're supposed to. We get money for working! We earn relaxing time and vacations. So it's something that continues through life.

When the reward turns to bribery, meaning you start to feel like he is in control and is withholding until he gets something from you, then you need to change tactics.

Good luck! I think you're doing what you can :)

It turns out it is a bad idea. Only because (research shown) bribery decreases a child's liking/acceptance of the food they are bribed to eat and makes the food used as the bribe more attractive in the future. If you put a small portion of everything you are eating on his plate, he will get around to eating. My son ate a huge amount some days and barely at all other days at that age.

hes 19 months old! all babies at this age get distracted :). i think what you are doing is fine. what i do with my 4 year old daughter is that i give her a little of everything we are eating and in order for her to get a treat after dinner she has to eat everything on her plate. if she doesnt no treat.

just remember that he is 19 months and not 5. make sure there is no tv on or toys at the table. i always dished my daughter 20 mins before we ate our dinner. then she either sat at the table and play or she would sit in the living room and play.