Breasts for Nursing or Pleasure????!!!

Updated on June 28, 2010
J.L. asks from Pittsburgh, PA
10 answers

I am nursing my 8 month old son and I nursed my daughter until she was 12 months. During nursing, I don't think of my breasts as sexual, they are for feeding my babies. However, when I was nursing my daughter, I didn't really have a problem with my husband touching or kissing them. It is another story with my son and I don't understand it. Anytime my husband just touches them, I don't like it. I can't stop thinking that my breasts are to feed my son and nothing else. I really don't understand why I am feeling this way when it didn't bother me at all when I was nursing my daughter. Has anyone else gone through something like this? I would just like to hear from other moms because I am a L. bothered by the way I am feeling. Thanks for your help.

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answers from Pittsburgh on

You shouldn't be bothered by what you feel. You feel how you feel. tell hubby to be patient and back off for now. :-)

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answers from Gainesville on

I have to agree that it probably is a hormonal response *but* if it were me I would try very hard to separate the two things mentally because your body (and all your body) is something that I'm sure your husband values, wants and craves. And those are good things!

I nursed both of my L. ones for 16 and 20 months respectively so I've been thru a wide range of feelings but the core is you and your husband and you want to keep that relationship alive and vital. Do explain to him that you are just having a tough time right now and ask that he be patient and then try L. things like you moving his hands where you feel comfortable and when you feel comfortable.

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answers from Detroit on

I think what you are feeling is natural. It may be a hormonal response. WIth each baby we are different and our bodies are different as are the hormones that are released. Feelings are just that, feelings. It does not mean you love your husband less, it just means that for right now you feel that your breasts are serving a different purpose. Your perspective will change as your sons nursing needs change. Reassure your husband that then, your breasts will return to be exclusively his!

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answers from Portland on

Absolutely normal!!! Especially in the first year. I found with both of my kids that feeling of protecting dissipated during the second year of nursing, but was VERY present and challenging in the first year - when they are basically getting ALL their nutrition from mama.
Communicate with your husband. I found that in the right "moment" I was able to say - NOW ;-), but it sure wasn't in the getting going stage hehe....

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answers from Chicago on

I think what you're feeling is normal. I nursed my twins for 15 months, and I pretty much felt the same way. Once I was done, it no longer bothered me, but until then they were off limits for my husband.

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answers from Washington DC on

a lot of women feel this way. assure your dh that he'll have 'em back for his exclusive pleasure (and yours) when you're done breast-feeding, but that for now it's just not where your head's at. it's also not surprising that it's different this time around. you are complex baffling miraculous mysterious intriguing work of nature. isn't it awesome?

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answers from San Diego on

Totally normal!!!! I feel the same way. My breasts are first for feeding my child and second for sexual pleasure.

I am tired and worn out in the evenings and am nursing my 8 month old and my poor husband gets to hear "don't touch my boobs!".

I was the same way with number one and once the nursing subsided to nursing a toddler less frequently, I didn't feel that way and was able to "disconnect" from my mommy mode and feel that my breasts were also to bring pleasure to my husband (and me!)

So, you are totally's a tough topic because women don't like to talk about it.

Hang in. Your hormones could also be different this time around than with your daughter......

And you may just be touched out....nursing an 8 month old and caring for two's tough.

Good luck! You're normal! :)

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answers from Indianapolis on

I felt the same way when nursing.
Though, I have to admit I found the marketing tagline for Mama's Milk slings hilarious: "Breasts: Food for baby, fun for Daddy". I see it's no longer on their website.

I think a lot of us feel that their body changes considerably when we become pregnant and mother's. I don't have a reason why, but I know I do.

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answers from Dallas on

I snapped at my husband just the other day for trying to unhook my nursing bra in bed. I don't know why but it irritated me to no end. Poor guy. I don't understand it, but I'm right there with ya.

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answers from Minneapolis on

I didn't like my hsuband touching my breasts with my oldest, but with my youngest it didn't bother me.... so hormones are different each time. Don't feel bad, just relax and tell him to relax and wait it out.

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