My daughter is turning 5 in July. My kids have never had a 'real' birthday party, usually just my adult friends with children and family, but never my childs friends. I was considering having a 'real' party this year since this is the first year she's actually had friends she's expressed an interest in having over, but this is the catch: I have a 6 year old who has never had a real party either. I almost feel like I'm short changing her, since she's older... but at the same time she's always been happy with our friends kids and has never asked to have any of her classmates over. What are your thoughts on this?
If the 6 year old expresses interest in a party, let her assist in planning the party or allow her to begin planning her own birthday party. You are probably the only one who will notice she was shorted.
You have to start somewhere, last year was my daughters first party with school friends and she absolutely loved it!
Just have a "real" birthday party for the older one's next birthday. If she asks about it while you're preparing for the 5 year old's bday -explain to her that she gets a birthday party like that the next time around, and you're sorry you didn't do it before.
Honestly, I bet she won't even notice and you are thinking it through more than she will. If she asks about it, just say "would you like to have a few friends over for your next birthday?" She'll say yes, and you'll be done.
my thoughts are to have the birthday party for the 5 year old. with your girls being close in age, it might be fun for your both kids even your older one and she might want to have her own birthday party next year. you could always have your 6 year old invite a friend over during the party.
Having children so close in age comes with challenges. At one point when they were little my inlaws would refer to and treat them as one person. They wouldn't take one child, because it wasn't fair to the other.
They are two separate individuals who have different needs. You'll never be able to keep it exactly 50/50, so don't start trying at this point. Let the 5 year old have the type of party she wants. If your 6 year old wants to have the same type of party next year, then make sure she has the same opportunity.
I don't know about anyone else but if it were me and she asks about it... why don't you let her invite some of her friends to the party and then tell here next year she can invite who she wants to her birthday party. It is just a suggestion that way you don't feel like she is getting short changed.
Why not have something like a dress-up party, where both could invite friends? Perhaps a Princess cake. This way the younger could have her wish, and the older friends included.
Grandma N., teacher 40 years and still teaching music & tutoring
I have 2 kids close in age and they are each allowed to have one friend at the sibling's bday party...or sometimes if it's a big sleepover party, the other sibling will get to spend the night out at a friend's house.
I see your dilemma. Maybe to make it "fair" to your 6 year old, you could offer to invite a couple classmates or friends of hers to the party as well, even though it's not her birthday you are celebrating.
Tell the children you are rethinking plans for future birthdays and give them the option of having friends over. you can then decide how many, how large a party, whether to have it at home, etc. The rule of thumb is usually the child's age plus 2. If that's more than your budget can stand - or you think you can handle - give each child the option of inviting a couple of friends and then see how it goes from there. That keeps it from appearing that you're favoring one child over the other.
