Birthday Etiquette - Madison,WI

Updated on February 26, 2013
M.H. asks from Madison, WI
13 answers

If you have your child open bday presents at their bday party and the child thanks each person at that moment do you still send thank you cards for the gift?
If not, what about the guests that leave before their gift is open.....the party has gone on a couple hours and guests start to leave.
Since you didn't thank them in person do you send a thank you note?

Also, different question...if your young child's best friend has an upcoming bday do you take it upon yourself to make sure your child is aware of the friends bday and help the child to remember to recognize his friends bday?

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So What Happened?

I'm so happy to see so many said yes to sending a thank you note. It really teaches a child to be thankful and grateful. I'm surprised by one of my friends because she never sends thank you notes after her children's bday party.

And on tv recently there was a poll and younger people said if they have to send a thank you note for a gift they would rather not receive a gift. I was appalled!

Featured Answers

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Who leaves before the gifts are opened? Isn't it rude to enjoy the event, like say bouncing at a bounce house, and then ducking out? So if you are rude does it matter than someone didn't properly thank you?

My daughter had a slumber party last year and one girl had a family event and had to leave at eight, my daughter opened her gift before she left.

I guess I don't really see this as an issue and I make her write letters to her friends anyway.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I always think Thank You notes are a good idea!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

1) yes
2) yes
3) No, because you don't even know if your child's friend, is going to have a birthday party. But you can give the friend a b-day gift, regardless.
For a real young child, they don't know what "in 2 months" versus "in 2 days" is. So if you are reminding your child, that his/her friend's birthday is coming up, what is the point? But on that day of the friend's b-day, you can wish him/her "happy birthday" and/or give them a gift. If it is not awkward. Because again, maybe that family is doing something else for their child's b-day. And not all kids have a "party." And even if there is a party for that child, what if your child is not invited?
I wouldn't play up another child's upcoming birthday.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

You send thank you notes. period. Kids can take them in their backpacks to school if you don't have address's. but you should absolutely send thank you notes. regardless of when you opened the gift.

as far as birthday of friend. I would not make a huge deal out of it. if there is a party and your child is invited then yes happy birthday to him. if no party still ok to say happy birthday but not all families make a huge deal out of it. not all kids in the class get invited to all birthday parties so not making a big deal at school is probably best.

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R.H.

answers from Houston on

I had my (now adult son) make phone calls that week to thank everyone again even if he thanked them on the spot.

For graduation of course it was the old Emily Post thank you card routine.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

You have to send a written thank you note even if you open gifts. I very, very rarely go to a party where the children open gifts right there anyway, but even if they do, a thank you note is expected.

To you second question, no. I really don't know their friends' birthdays but usually they make a big deal out if it at school anyway.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

We nearly always send thank yous for Kiddo's gifts. They are nice to receive, and you know that even amidst the comings and goings at the party, everyone will know their gift was appreciated.

With little kids, I don't make as much of a deal out of friends birthdays. Unless we are invited to the party or see that person often, then my son might make a card or draw a picture. But it's hard to keep track of family birthdays, much less all of his friends.

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A.C.

answers from Madison on

I always have my daughter send out thank you notes for the gifts she receives both for her birthday and for Christmas, even if she's already said thank you after she's opened the present.

I feel giving thanks and having gratitude for the things we receive is a dying art these days. There is absolutely no reason why children cannot be taught how to give people the proper thanks for a gift they've received.

My sister also makes her daughter send out thank yous. My brother and his wife, however, have never instilled the art of thanks in their three kids. In fact, I was floored when I received a thank-you note from their oldest child, thanking us for the Confirmation gift we'd given him. I thought, all hope isn't lost yet with this one...

As far as the upcoming friend's birthday--is the friend celebrating and having a party, or do you mean just being cognizant of the fact that said friend has a birthday so that she mentions it to the friend/says Happy Birthday to her at school or something? Yes, if your son or daughter is too young to watch the calendar/know that his/her best friend is having a birthday today, I would remind her/him so that if your daughter/son wanted to say something to his/her friend, then he/she could say something.

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K.C.

answers from New London on

Years ago, most kids had SMALL parties in the home. All of my friends and I would invite about 5, 6 or 7 kids to the party. We would open the gifts during the party and always send a TY note.

A few yrs ago, my youngest had a b-day party and invited 12 kids. When I passed out the favor bags, I had enclosed a general TY note in each bag.

I usually send a B-Day card to the house the day before the child's B-Day. All of us sign it !

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E.D.

answers from Boston on

Yes to thank you notes. I might tell her to recognize but no biggie.

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M.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

Yes. My daughter is five. I printed some Thank you coloring page thank you card off of the internet and had her color them. She gave them to all her friends that attended her birthday party and sent them out to family members too.

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Yes, thank you cards or notes to all, no matter what.
If someone has to leave early we open the gift, say thank you, and send a card.
I stash gifts I get at clearance after the holidays and summer when they make way for newer Christmas toys. So, yes, I remember and remind, even if there's no party to attend. I want to instill giving as being more important than receiving.

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T.T.

answers from Boston on

Blow it off. If they have an issue, tell them to step outside to talk about it. Either way, you got what you wanted...PRESENTS!

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