Thank You Notes - Hackettstown,NJ

ETA: I'd like to add that my son has recieved a thank you note, or at least a group photo with a printed message, for EVERY party he's attended. He's 10. attends lots of parties. I don't know where people fet the "no O. sends the anymore" idea!

It's NOT the new normal to NOT send a thank you note.
It's rude and ungrateful.

My son has written a thank you note for every birthday present he's ever received. Whether he said thank you in person or not.

Not to do so is just such poor form!

I never thought to send a thank you card for anything other than a wedding or baby shower. I guess I've got lots of writing to do for the past few birthday parties.

Do you have to send a thank you when you were thanked in person? If so, I've been really lax in my thank you cards! I send thank yous when we get presents in the mail, but not if we thanked them in person.

So what if you think thank you notes are correct, you can't dictate or expect peoples's behavior and beliefs. You are letting it slide? Why would you waste your time with petty, personal scores?

Do ** I ** write thank you notes? Yes. That's completely irrelevant, to whether other people do. The point of giving, is not so you can receive accolades. The point, is to GIVE.

You're expecting a hand written thank you card for a gift you gave her son for his bday? Wow. I have NEVER gotten a thank you card from a mom whose kid got a gift from us. Our kids tell the person "thank you" when they open the gift. It would never cross my mind to hand write a card for every gift any of us get. I guess I don't have any manners but maybe its a sign of the times?

Thank you notes are must for gifts. Children, adults anyone..
They let the giver know you received the gift.. and that you appreciate their kindness.

It took you time to go to the store pick out the gift, maybe wrap it, deliver it.. maybe 30 minutes if you are super fast, but probably more time.

A thank you note takes 2 minutes to write, address and place a stamp on it.another minute maybe to place it in your mail box to be picked up?

No excuses.. If you cannot do the above, send an email for goodness sakes.

I don't care what other people do, but I absolutely insist my kids write "thank you" notes for b'day presents received at their parties. Every. Single. Time. Not negotiable.

And, I'll add, I've never NOT received a "thank you" note from their friends for gifts WE'VE given. So regardless of what people say, it's not a dying tradition. It's just that some people aren't choosing to instill that particular set of manners in their kids, I guess. I'm sure I'm remiss in teaching my kids some other type of manners...

But I don't really care one way or another if someone sends us a thank you or not...Not for me to judge or "let slide", it's simply not my concern. What concerns me is what MY kids do. And for now, that's to send a written "thank you" note for every gift they receive.

As I always tell my son, "good manners are NEVER out of season" .... Truly, if someone has taken the time to give you a gift, a person can then sit down and write out a thank you note.... My husband's cousins for whom we always give money to on their birthdays and most recently, graduation NEVER send a thank you note... Oh wait, one time we got a text...
Many might think a thank you card is for the person who bought the gift, but I also believe it's important that the person who received it, show an attitude of gratitude in general......... in my house, the thank you card does show thanks to a person, but in the bigger picture of life, it also teaches my son to count his blessings and not to take the kindness of others for granted...

In my career, I've gotten two jobs because MY thank you notes stood above the rest....

Also, it's ok by me if the world is leaning towards not taking the time to send a thank you note... it makes MY son stand out because he always does....

keep teaching your child good manners.... it's a good thing in my opinion :)

It doesn't matter how much we think people should tell us thank you. Sometimes they just don't, etiquette be darned.

I guess that you could call and ask her if she got your gift and put her on the spot. Or, you could just not get her any more gifts.

If I had the money back for every thank you card I haven't gotten, I'd have a lot of money in the bank. But truthfully, I enjoy giving gifts. Unless I truly think that the gift wasn't received, I just don't worry about it.

I agree with you. I was taught to send a thank-you note within 24 hours of receiving the gift, and that is what my girls do, too. It doesn't have to be an elaborate letter, just a quick note thanking the person. My younger daughter turned 8 a few weeks ago, and the day after her birthday, she sat down and wrote her thank-you notes. It took her about half an hour start to finish to write her notes, and another 15 minutes to address the envelopes. No big deal, social obligation met until Christmas! ;)

I think not sending a thank you note is very RUDE. I was raised to send a note of appreciation and I've raised my daughter to do the same. Around here... A formal thank you note is mailed within 24 hours of receiving a gift.

My daughter just graduated high school and as a card or gift comes in, there is a thank you note sitting there ready for her to write. It's just proper etiquette and classy.

I have a relative who graduated high school this year as well. I sent her a check 2 days after I got her announcement ( may 14). I have yet to receive any acknowledgement and just last week I asked her dad if she got my card!!!

He swore there was a mail issue and he mailed it... Whatever.. If someone EVER brought to my attention that they didn't receive a note from my daughter.... You bet she'd have a replacement card in the mail with an apology ..... STAT!!

I am old school and I believe in a handwritten note of appreciation, even if there is a verbal thank you. I'd prefer to go above and beyond vs the alternative.

We are super diligent about thank you notes and we always include a picture of the person from the party with the note. AND we get them out within a week of the party. But that's because I'm a bit of a control freak.

Almost everyone else I know sends thank you notes, even if they're late. There have been a few that don't send them, but that's a reflection on them...(and people DO notice when they don't get one. The way I see it, they did have you over for the party...so it's not like you went away empty handed.

It's poor etiquette, but some people just don't care about formalities.

No one sends thank you notes any more. NO ONE. It's time to start thinking a different way. Because if you don't you are going to be disappointed many many many times in the future.

I'm old school too, and always send a thank you (usually handwritten, sometimes by email) but it doesn't bother me when other people don't. I realize different people have different values and priorities.
If it's a good friend to both my child and me, I wouldn't give it a second thought, and I wouldn't judge them over something so small. In the grand scheme of things, how we TREAT each other is far more important than how well we follow the rules of etiquette.
ETA: I am the exact opposite of Luvmykids! I expect my kids to send thank yous to the relatives before anyone else, even at 18 years old! You don't want to send thank you cards to your friends? Fine, but you WILL send them to grandpa and grandma and your aunties and uncles, that's a matter of respect, which goes deeper than etiquette IMO.

I always do thank you notes for the kids' birthdays and xmas/Hanukkah gifts. I would also do them for a wedding or baby shower. We almost always get thank you notes from other kid's bday parties, but there have been a few occasions where we didn't. I think some people feel they are a thing of the past an no longer necessary in the days of email, texting, etc.

I think it's good manners and an important thing to instill in our children at a young age. My son turned six a few weeks ago and, for the first time, I made him write all of the thank you notes himself. they were much more generic than if I had done it, but more meaningful coming from him.

We attended five preschool parties this year and received thank you notes for none of them. I was a little shocked but it seems to be the norm.

If the child is a toddler or very young then yes, the gifts are for the mama and she should sent a note. If the child is above age 8 the thanks is usually given at the party.

I guess it's becoming normal not to send thank you notes but I make my kids do it anyway. If it's to a peer, they can send a note email. If the gift was from an adult, it has to be on paper and sent snail mail.

When my kids were too little to write, I had them draw a picture and I'd write a short note. Not that my boys are 17 and 18, I still insist they write thank you notes. It's more than just etiquette. Anyone who has taken time and spent money to give them a gift deserves a short note. It only takes 5-10 minutes and gives my kids a chance to feel grateful which is good for them, too.

Nope you're not old school. Some people just don't think it counts for kids gifts. They are too lazy to teach their kid the etiquette of a proper thank you. It drives me nuts. GRATITUDE is such an important thing to instill in Kids, and they need the practice, it doesn't always come naturally.

I was raised to write a Thank You for anything except Christmas Gifts. Or close family b-day gifts (I wasn't expected to write one to my parents or siblings when I was little).

Luckily in my circle most people still seem to be on the ball with this. Even in preschool. I think that lady just wasn't raised that way. I wouldn't sweat it.

I never expect a thank you card and I certainly never wait for one.

Having said that my girls will send a thank you card for a communion gift, etc but when I have a birthday party and I treat their friends to X and then send them home with a parting gift I think it is really ridiculous to have to write a thank you note. I guess I think of the gift I buy for the party attendee as a thank you for coming and thank you for the gift although if they didnt bring a gift I would not care.

Perhaps hallmark should start an ad campaign telling people they should send thank you notes to the host of the party😉. The host after all often buys pretty nice gifts for those that attend and also treats them to great fun activities like tubing, laser tag, rock climbing, skating etc...

poor etiquette.

yes even bday parties i do thanks yous the expection being if i did a thank you as part of the favor signed by the bday kid themselves.
i have seen that, if you might not have schoolmates addresses.

we do mailed thank yous to relatives too although i wouldnt do it for my mom if we werent already doing it for the other grandma, mine gets and graciously recieves a thank you hug as it is opened, the other isnt as loving so we are more formal w her.

I, too, enjoy sending and receiving thank-yous. I do not, however, look for them. If you want it to make an impression, then let it be a bonus when you receive one. If EVERYTHING is underscored, then the heartfelt look-you-in-the-eye-and-take-your-hand-in-mine expression means nothing. It's okay for there to be only one exclamation point.

I always call or say it in person. Any note would come following my implementation of the gift. I like to be able to say why I like the gift, how I am using and enjoying it. That feels more natural and authentic to me. I don't want an immediate formal thank-you and then feel awkward later for bringing it up again, asking how he/she is enjoying it.

I'm old school as well. I believe that someone who spent the time to purchase and wrap something for a child deserves a thank you note. Unfortunately, traditional "etiquette" has been lost in this age of technology. I've noticed (especially) that if you drop off a gift at a party, people won't generally send thank you notes. Don't take it personally. I'm OCD about that stuff, and have had to train myself to get over it. You're not alone!

p.s., I have my kids send personal thank you notes for all gifts (except from grandparents and aunts/uncles). I think it teaches appreciation.

I'm old school as well so I get what you're saying. I had my children write notes all the time when they were younger then we tapered off to writing notes for only special occasion gifts. I realized my kids were the only ones sending out notes so I figured why bother.

I DO, however, make sure my kids ALWAYS thank the person when receiving a gift in person. If it's something that's been mailed, they'll either send a note or call the person to thank them. At least gifts do not go unacknowledged in some way.

Great question!!

I personally enjoy making ty notes and sending them, but I know that it is rare to find a person or family who does....
I rarely get them from our circle of friends..... mom to mom maybe but hardly kid to kid. only the people we know really well would I guess.
We don't get them for Christmas in our family or anything either... just not what people do anymore. So I don't expect it. guess we both are old school............