Behavior in Public

I agree with Tania...
The word "No" has be VERY different in tone and meaning from everything else. In our case we always made it "swift and terrible". When we were teaching our children "NO" our expression, tone and deliverance changed from anything else they experienced. It got to the point where I wouldn't even have to say it loud or with much authority. I could do the clentched teeth, wide eyed, "mom look" and say "no". They would stop whatever they were doing instantly in order to not get that response from me.

So use it, use it only when you need to so that it means something. Instead of "no" when she is touching something for example, say "don't touch" because that is what you mean. Reserve the no for when you need to shut her down and shut her down quickly.

Hi Kelly. I feel your pain! I went through this for a short time with my oldest son. I'm not sure how old your 1 year old is (12 months is a world of difference from 20 months) but here are a couple things to try which worked great with my son:

before you get out of the car, tell her what you expect of her. I am going to carry you to the store, and you are going to sit in the cart. My son always behaved better if I told him exactly what he was going to do.

Obviously the word "no" is necessary, but be sure you are telling her what you'd like her to do instead of just what not to do. Kids this age aren't able to make the right choices if the options aren't spelled out to them.

Lastly, if she screams, she screams. I found that no reaction to that behavior was the best approach. On the occasions when my son did throw a fit, I would simply ignore the behavior. I would talk to him in a calm voice and tell him that it's his choice to sit there and scream. I'm still going to get my shopping done. I refused to allow him to control the situation and drive me out of the store! =)

I hope that helps. This is an all around trying age. But remember, this too shall pass! =)

She is for sure old enough to know what "no" means..... why would she through a fit other wise? Does she through a fit when you say "yes"? Just keep consistant & don't give in to her fits.... even in public. I have 3 girls & all of them at one time or another have thrown fits in public. One time I had 2 screaming at the same time. :( Just smile, finish your business & leave as soon as possible. Blessings

Depending on how old of a one she is, she really may not understand what no means. I'm a preschool teacher with a 2 year old of my own with another on the way. We took a parenting class through our church, and what we've taken to doing is removing our child when he starts to not behave in public. He loves to be out, and really does not like to be removed and put in the carseat. If she's screaming, you can roll down the window and not get in with her. I've only had to do this a few times, and now he's great, for now, in public. Good luck!

I think that a one year old can understand "no" if spoken in a tone that really gets her attention. But I tend to try to set up situations for success. If you know some things or times are just too much for your little one (Too exciting to see new toys, too overstimulating, or it's too near nap time for any patience, then it is better to re-work the public outing plan. I would have things to keep her amused if she's bored. Little ones are learning machines and they do not do well with doing nothing for long stretches of time!
Good luck.

Yes, your child understands No at age one. It is so hard when your children's embarrassing behaviors are in public. Be firm, don't give in, and leave if the behavior doesn't change. Its much harder on you the first few times, but the child "gets" the fact that they were removed from a fun or different situation, and will learn that YOU, NOT THEY, are in charge, and they will alter their behavior, even at that young age.

Just remember some of the acting out may be due to fear of new situations. So, do as much as you can to talk them thru (yes, even at age 1) and prepare them for the new experience so you know fear is not what is making them act out in public.

Your daughter definitely knows what no means, but understanding what it means and complying are two different things. By this age, she has learned to walk and can explore. She wants to choose what to do, and is exploring her boundaries. That is her job as a 1-year-old. Your job as her mom is to allow her to explore within the safe boundaries you set.

Giving her choices can help alleviate many of the problems. Ask her, "Do you want to wear the red shirt or the green one?" "Should we read this book first, or that one?" This way she gets to choose, but you provide the perameters for the choice. There are many situations for which providing choices can be applied. By giving her choices, you allow her to feel empowered while you are still in control of the boundaries.

When in public, you can ask her if she wants to ride in the "car cart" or the regular cart. Also, it is a good idea to be prepared when you go out with something different up your sleve. I always carry snacks, stickers, and sometimes a small candy or new toy. These really make a difference when you're stuck in line somewhere. Good luck!

yes, she understands no it's just not fun being told not to do something...and some people get naturally rebellious...
have you tried offering choices instead of saying no, maybe looking into love and logic online, they've got a great parenting logic that could help.

Hi Kelly,
As an OT and a mama, I can say yes, a one year old understands "no." You just have to give the word concrete *meaning* to your child.

She hears you saying it, but there has to be a difference between everything else you say.

Both my sons understood my "no" by the time they were learning to crawl.

Good luck,
T