At Wits End with the Bedtime

L.,

I can feel your pain. I had to get a gate and gate my son into his room. I think you might want to try that. From all I have read you have to juts take her back into her bed and keep doing it until she stays. I have a routinue that I do each night. I read her a story and then pray. I have her turn off the light and then put her in the crib. I haven't moved her to a "big girl" bed since she stays in the crib...I dread what she will be like since she is a climber and does all kinds of things my son didin't. Know that you are not alone. I have to do bed time all by myself and it SUCKS. Keep us updated. feel free to email me ____@____.com to vent if you want...I find it helps to vent. GOOD LUCK.

L.,

Nightmares are a possbility, but you'd probably know if that was the case. She'd probably have cried out at one point in the night after she was sleeping for a while, and you'd know if she had been afraid. Fear in a little kid is easy to pick up, and it doesn't look like regular opposition. If you can think back to an instance like this, then nightmares might be it.

She may be dealing with typical toddler fears of the dark, but you'd probably know that one, too. It's common around this age, but again, fear looks different, and you'd know it in your child.

My best guess is that she's figured out that life doesn't stop when she gets sent to bed. Mommy and Daddy are still around and awake. Her toys are all still there, etc. Why go to sleep when there's other stuff to do that's way more fun? And she's not a baby anymore. She's capable of MAKING herself stay awake, just like we can if we want to. This is probably it. My son went through this phase, too. You may be noticing it now while your husband is off because she now hears you two talking. When you were alone, you probably didn't do a whole lot of talking to yourself, so she didn't hear conversation and laughter.

Just stick with your routine and your rules. If what I explained above is the problem, it's not going to go away. You're still not going to shut down the whole house and go to bed because she does. She needs to learn that bedtime is bedtime, and she has to go when it's time. This is not easy. She's going to resist a lot, and as important as this is to you, it's a whole lot more important to her, so she's going to fight harder than you. Just keep putting her back in bed, reassuring her that you'll see her in the morning and you love her. Some kids respond well to a little chat as part of their routine about what they are going to do the next day. It gives them something to look forward to, and it's comforting to them to know that there will be lots of fun to be had when they wake up.

Good luck, L.. Bedtime battles are tough, and they typically don't resolve easily.

Jess

Hi L.

Maybe your daughter is having nightmares or maybe she is scared of the dark or shadows. It happens around two years old when their imaginations start getting bigger. It may help to have a night light in her room, leave the door open or have her sleep with her favorite stuffed animal. If this is the cause, she'll need lots of reassurance, as I am sure you give to her.

C.

Well I don't know what to tell you about the sleeping thing, but I do have some advice on how to make her stay in her room. When we moved our son into a big boy bed he figured out he could come out so we put a baby gate in the doorway. And when he opened the door and called us we didn't answer. He figured out pretty quick that it was bed time and he had to stay in his room.

My dd is only 9 months so I haven't gone through this myself yet, but I did see something on one of those nanny shows that made a lot of sense to me.
It's just what the other responses said - stick with it and eventually she'll stay in bed. I watched the video of this mom putting her son back to bed for almost 3 hours. She'd put him in the bed and he just kept getting out of it. It took a while (days I'm sure), but each night it took less and less time and he eventually gave up. They just made sure not to make eye contact or engage him in conversation, simple put him back without arguement.
hopefully you've got the problem solved by now and won't even have to try the battle of wills.