At My Wits End with Potty Training 3.5 Yr Old. Please HELP!!

Updated on December 19, 2008
A.F. asks from Slidell, LA
5 answers

I am at my wits end with potty training DD1. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, I have tried everything I know. Here is the situation.

DD1 started potty training herself at 2.5 (in January) of this year. After only a few accidents, we went for months with no accidents. Panties everyday, pullups at naptime and bedtime. Since March- DD1 has wet her pants almost EVERY SINGLE DAY, sometimes up to 5-10 times in one day! Occasionally, she will have one day with no wet panties. If she does wet her pants, she either goes to change herself (tons of laundry for me!!) or doesnt tell you, and sits in it for who knows how long!!

I calmly change her, make her sit on the potty. I havent fussed at her, or made a big deal about it. But I am done! She is now 3.5 and is getting worse. She has recently peed on my couch twice and my floor twice! Yes, we have had alot of changes this year (moving, new baby), but this is ridiculous!! I refuse to continue down this path. This isnt a phase, it has been close to a year! Do I put her back in diapers (then she cant go to preschool-which she loves) or stay in panties?
I dont expect naptime or bedtime... just daytime.
SOMEONE PLEASE HELP before I loose my mind!!!

Thanks for listening, sorry if I rambled-
Extremely frustrated mommy

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answers from Pittsfield on

Go back to square 1.
Tell her she needs to go sit on the potty every hour. DON"T ask!
If she pees her pants let her know you are upset/mad/dissappointed. she's old enough to know better.

Give her a new big girl sticker chart (I make my own) right on the bathroom wall. Give a sticker EVERY time she tries.

When she goes a 2 whole days without an accident give her a reward from the dollar store. After a couple weeks up it to every 3-4 days.

Talk to the preschool teachers, they may not be bringing her to the potty every time especially if you're sending her in pullups...get rid of them!!!
It doesn't sound like there's any real reason for her not to be trained by now.



answers from Boston on

You probably have to talk with her teacher at school, cause they might be giving her too much juices or water during the daytime, which is not good; especially if she started back wetting on herself again. Also you have to start all over again with potty training her! She could be kind of jealous of the new baby too!!! Let me know how things go!!



answers from Springfield on

in addition to a reward chart and bringing her to the bathroom consistantly, I would put regular undies back on and when she does have an accident make her clean and change herself up- including bringing dirty clothes to laundry area/hamper at home. After having to take the time to clean themself up and changing herself, chances are she will see the advantages of going on the toilet like a big girl.



answers from Boston on

First of all, I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Potty training does push those buttons.

Have you tried taking her to the doctor? You'd probably know by now if it's a UTI, but there could be other physical problems that might be causing incontinence. I've also heard that for little girls especially, when they routinely hold it for a long time their bladder loses sensitivity, and then they can only tell that they have to go when it's the very last second.

If it's nothing physical, you could try a therapist. Kids will have accidents/wet the bed when something is bothering them that they can't verbalize.

Hopefully both of these things are way beyond the pale of what you need, but just wanted to provide some other suggestions. Try to remember that this too shall pass, and wanting to throttle her sometimes is okay : )



answers from Boston on

some of it could be to jealousy over the new baby. I've known kids that regressed in potty training because of the arrival or expecting of anew a sibling. Start over from square one. Start a reward chart tell her she needs to go to the bathroom and discuss this with her preschool. If she needs to wait and start preschool at 4 there is no harm in that. My oldest did 2 yrs of preschool and it really didn't do him any good just led to boredom in kindergarten because he already knew the stuff they were doing and if your preschool isn't going to help you with your daughters situation than that isn't the right preschool for her anyway. Good luck

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