Any Advice About My Son's Behavior ...

A.,

In your last post you said he was teething. My guess he still is. In your last post you said you lost your cool and yelled at the twins, this post you spanked his mouth?!??!! Because he was biting, hes biting and your spanking...wrong move. I do believe you need some parenting advise from a professional. My little girl bit at that age, I spoke stern so that my voice was different not scary. I would put her down or put her in her crib. I then would not pay any attention to her for maybe one minute or longer. He will catch on and will learn not to bite. Does not matter if he is a twin, all babies go through these things. Weather its biting or pinching, your correct action is whats needed. I will tell you I have never once laid my hands on any of my children in anger or teach them a lesson. He will do fine in daycare as I have told you before. You sound like a good mom and a caring mom, please seek help on how to raise healthy happy children. I know some of the younger moms will have some great advice for you and what books you should read. Your son is only a baby still. Good luck.

I just want to offer this differing opinion -- perhaps separating him further from you (putting him in another room with other people in daycare) when he's going through a clingy stage and obviously needing you more isn't such a great idea. I don't think that children that young really can be manipulative. If he's being clingy, it's because he needs you. If I were you, I would just accept it and spend some more time with him, try to figure out why he's being clingy. If it's teething, then he'll pass through it soon and be back to normal.

As far as the biting goes, stern voice and short time-outs at this age will probably work. They worked for me to teach my babies not to bite while nursing. If they bit me, I would jump, say something along the lines of "Ouch! No Biting!" and stop nursing and put them down for about 30 seconds. Much screaming would usually ensue, but they learned quickly not to bite. We had a biting problem with my daughter when she started preschool at 3 1/2, and a sticker chart worked wonders (she'll do anything for a sticker) but he might be a bit young for that.

At the risk of sounding critical, you mustn't hit your child, especially in the face. Think a little about the message you're sending - that it's OK for Mom to hit but not him? How is he supposed to understand that? 15 months is far too young for him to even have an official time out. The only thing you can do is a stern and matter of fact announcement that 'we don't bite/hit. Biting/hitting hurts".It sounds like he is hurting/hitting himself now - so you reallly don't want to set that kind of example for him.

I also agree yo might consider spending MORE time with him, not less. He clearly needs you, and if he's teething it can be very uncomfortable and confusing for him. Also, it sounds like maybe he needs more sleep, a longer nap during the day (at this age many babies take two 1.5 hr naps or one longer 2-3 hr nap). And make sure he's in bed for 12 hrs - put him in at 7 or 7:15. If they get too little rest it makes everything worse, and an earlier bedtime/MORE sleep during the day = better night time sleep, it's counter intuitive but true for my 20 month old.

Best of luck.

Hi A.- I have girl/boy twins the same age and they too vie for my attention. My boy bit for a while and thinks that 'No' is very funny. He responded best to me putting him down, angry face, a very firm, "No bite! That hurts," and then I would make a big deal about turning away from him and focusing my attention on his twin or my older child. It took a few weeks but it worked. My other 2 children do fine with a quiet and gentle, "no."-not this guy.
He is also occassionally really clinging and it coincided with teeth and then an ear infection. His ONLY symptom of the infection was being clingy and whiny. I took him in because I was fed up.
Twin toddlers may be even harder than twin infants I am finding. They are busy, excellent climbers, and do anything to get extra attention. Good luck!

Hi A.,
It's difficult, huh?! I have to agree with others that clingyness at this age is for a reason. Its so hard because they can't tell us what they need, and sometimes their frustration comes out in behaviors we don't like. Please find a way other than hitting when disciplining. Imagine how it would feel to have someone slap you, lightly or not, if you said or did something they didn't like. There are so many differing views on spanking, but I feel it just encourages acting out and violence possibly later on. Is there someone who could give you time to get out and do something for yourself once in a while? Or maybe Early Intervention (which is free) could help? All the best! P.S. My husband and I waited 14 years to have our little one (21 month old boy). =)

I don't really have any advice, just know that there are lots of other Moms out there with the same worries. My son's behavior can sometimes be what I would call "explosive." He shows his frustrations in such a different way than my daughter. I have found the Collaborative Problem Solving Method of parenting really helpful- although for you it seems early.

YOU SPANKED YOUR CHILD because he bit he's 15 months! To me it sounds like you are the one having the tantrums. You said in a previous post he is teething that is why he is clingy and moody and hitting his head so you will pick him back up and comfort him. I agree w/ Daisy you need some professional help w/ parenting. I hope to never see another post about you hitting or yelling at your babies because thats what they are BABIES! When he bites you simply say "no biting it hurst so and so" you work in a daycare you should be able to handle yourself much better then what you are I kind of worry about the other kids that are in your care after reading this post and a few others you have written like the 2 1/2 year old cleaning up poop not an appropriate punishment for a 2.5 year old that was probably just looking for attention. I cannot imagine striking a child even if it is lightly it doesn't teach them anything other then its okay to take your frustration out physically. He is old enough to have a short time out when he hits or bites perhaps he is jealous of his twin sister because you give her more attention because she's a girl after all you always seem to have nothing but good things to say about your daughter and nothing but complaints about your son. Its not a boy thing I've seen plenty of girls throw some terrible tantrums it is just him trying to get your attention and comfort so give it to him.