Angery 5 Year Old

I have a 7 year old boy, who went through the same thing. He would throw what ever was nearest to him and hit and kick at me. We started taking anything and everything away from him that he would throw, even if it was his stuffed animal that he slept with at night. He even would knock over his TV and DVD player. We kept taking them away and would do so for longer periods of time. We would also give him time out and let him sit and cry, he has bunk beds so we would make him go on the top bunk or stand in the corner. About a year and half ago he knocked over his TV and actually broke it, he still hasn't gotten a new one. He has pretty much grown out of the throwing stage and has completely grown out of the hitting stage. Only once in a blue moon will he be so mad that he actually throws things at his door any more. He also used to slam him door so for a while he didn't have a bedroom door. His latest thing was to lock his bedroom door so now he doesn't have a door knob on his door.
I know how frustrating this can be, hang in there and it will get better.

My oldest daughter was older than this when she started being lippy when she was mad. I had a bar of ivory soap that sat ontop of the microwave, it went in her mouth when she said really unacceptable things. We called it the "hairy bar of soap" because it did get dusty sitting there sometimes.

She got it put in her mouth a grand total of 3 times. The last time when she threatened to call the SRS because she had to have soap put in her mouth. I told her "Fine. You do that. If they decide that your behavior is exempliary and that I am abusive for not letting you say and do what ever you please, then they will put you into fostercare and I'm sure your life will be so much better then. Your sister can have your room, your tv, your bike and all your toys"

She got the point. She straightened up after that. Especially when I told her that it was ok for her to be angry, it was ok for her to think all the things that came out of her mouth, because I am not the thought police. But I can and will control what she says in my home. Think it all you want, don't say it where I can hear you.

We actually took the door off her room during that time because she slammed it, threw things at it when she was mad, etc. She earned it back by not behaving badly.

Some kids have more trouble controlling the impulsivity, but they can be taught to do so. Hang in there, and get creative with your object lessons.

You have to stop yourself. Trust me - your son will grow up and be very mean to you. It will escalate. The best advice I received was: You must keep your cool. Never loose control. Let them see you angry but not over-reacting.
And Love him. Maybe have someone you trust who he likes talk to him. And ask him why he's so angry. Have you ever asked him that? Whatever he says don't punish him for telling the truth. If you need to apologize to him - do so while being humble. You are training him how to act.

The book "Bringing Up Boys" might be great for you. (James Dobson)

L. B

today my 5 yr old threw her work on the floor, because it was time to go to bed and wanted to do her numbers. We had taken her to a school function a fun thing for her, eventhough I was very tiered from work. Before we left I let her know when we get home, its bed time..so when she threw the papers, i reminded her and sent her to bed. I raised my voice a little, and she went to bed, cried a little. Before I went to my room, stop by and asked her why, shesaid she was mad, so I said next time you throw something at me I will throw a toy of my choice away. You made a bad choice I get to choose a toy. Is it a deal? I asked if she understood and then that was that. I am not sure what or if this will happen again. I hope this will stop it. She just started throwing things.

Mine is five as well, and it seems like his body is much stronger than his brain, which makes the tantrums so much worse! A great resource is Love and Logic, they are online, but I'll give a few tidbits that help me when ds is in overdrive.

Lead with empathy - tell him how sad it is that he has to lose his money (or be in timeout, lose toys, whatever you find works)

Have some one-liner responses ready when he lashes out. "That's really sad for you", "Nice try" (that's a good one for those really desperate attempts to push your buttons). I've found that if I have an answer ready for them I don't get so mad, and he eventually stops trying if my response is always the same. (my son's favorite is "you're mean", followed by "I want daddy...grandma...etc.")

The website has some articles for different needs, and there is one that has several of these "one-liners"