Almost Three Year Old Fights Naps Consistently

Updated on September 20, 2011
A.J. asks from Lake Havasu City, AZ
25 answers

I'm wondering what other moms think on the topic. I strongly feel that she still needs naps however I have friends who let their kids stop around age 3???

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Well I never said I was forcing naps but hey thanks Jo W with the accusation. My daughter seems tired the days when I let her skip naps so that is why I wonder if it's something other moms try to push. I didn't realize this was a place where other moms come to criticize each other.

Featured Answers

T.C.

answers from Dallas on

Mine stopped at age two. I would stop:-) There's a wide variety of what is normal. Some kids need them at five and some don't need them beyond two. Quiet time is a good transition.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I insisted on naps until close to the start of Kindergarten. My daughter fought naps almost from the very beginning, but that didn't mean that she didn't need them. I worked pretty hard for her naps sometimes - long walks in the stroller, drives in the car when I didn't have anywhere I needed to go, or I or her father napped with her. Kids need naps for everything from brain development to preventing late afternoon melt-downs. I wouldn't give up so easily.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K..

answers from Phoenix on

If she is fighting them, then how is trying to force her to nap productive? Instead of napping, she's getting riled up, and not napping, and you're both frustrated, instead.

Time to start "quiet time". I'm sorry to say that 3 is a very normal age for kids to drop the nap, and you can't force anyone to sleep.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.J.

answers from Dallas on

my little boy will be 3 in december and today i laid him down for nap as he does everyday...but nope, popped right back up after 45 mins, don't think he ever fell asleep, darnit!
which means *I* didn't fall asleep - lol
but, unfortunately, i think our days of napping are over. i think the children tell you when they're done. not in a manipulative type of way, but my boy just doesn't need 'em. y'know? i will still encourage them though b/c again *I* need them! (yes it's all about me, lol) :)

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

Two of mine napped until age 4-5. One of mine stopped at age 12 months and one of mine stopped at age 2. My kids who stopped young, I tried to put them down for a nap but they wouldn't sleep. They'd play in their beds for an hour. Thankfully, my now 16 month old naps great and sleeps for 12 hours at night.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello River's Mom,
As you can see from many of the answers, many kids stop taking naps after around 2. Contrary to Jo W's advice, just because they don't take them anymore, does not mean they do not need them. What I found was that for several months after my daughter stopped taking naps she was miserable in the late afternoon (and so was I!) If she would have kept taking them, I certainly would have let her! Do what is best for your child and your family.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.H.

answers from Omaha on

Our doctor told us that kids start to transition out of nap time somewhere between the ages of 3 and 5, but they should still have daily quiet time for at least 30 minutes and if they happen to fall asleep could normally sleep up to 3 hours or so. My son stopped taking regular naps shortly after he turned 3. My daughter is 2 and still needs that afternoon nap. Some things you could try that worked for us to encourage sleep is give a bath directly after lunch. The warm water was soothing and relaxed my kids. After that I would give a cup of milk and that helped them get drowsy too. We also took car rides in the afternoon which helped a lot, especially my son when he was really fighting naptime. Hope this helps. I agree with Leigh R. you can't really force naps, but providing a consistent schedule will help. If your child can stay awake without becoming grouchy later, then it could be they are ready to give up the nap. Just make sure quiet time is part of your day. Good luck!
A.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I agree with Marianne C. - for every mom who says you shouldn't "push" naps, you'll find one who says kids need to nap! I think everyone has different thoughts on this topic. I personally believe that most kids need naps until around age 3. Some kids will keep taking them, some will transition to "quiet time". You might want to try moving the nap time to be a little bit earlier, sometimes that helps. It's really up to you though - if you think your LO is too cranky, then that's a sign that she probably still needs a nap. There may be some days that a nap is refused, bedtime may need to be a little early. And let's be honest - WE need the down time! So if you need to transition to quiet time for some days so that you can also rest, do that. It may be reading books in bed, but if she's tired and the room is dim, she may fall asleep anyway. There are special timers (using color instead of sound) that you can get...set a timer for how long she has to stay in bed, and if she falls asleep before the timer is up - wahoo!

Good luck! My 3.5 year old still naps most days, although it doesn't wreck her life if she misses it anymore - we skipped naps occasionally in the summer because of activities and then bedtime was earlier. If she's having a hard time falling asleep, I remind her that she needs to lay quietly...she almost always fall asleep.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.P.

answers from Pittsfield on

Each of my 4 stopped napping somewhere around that age. I think each child is different. Some kids need it for another year or more. My kids, unfortunately, took after me and not my husband. I gave up naps early- DH still napped daily at 5 yo, and he would STILL nap, if he had the opportunity- lol.

You could try skipping it and see what happens. If she starts getting cranky later in the day, I'd keep trying for the nap- maybe put her down for her nap a little later than usual in hopes that she'd be a little more tired then? If she does fine w/o the nap, you could try putting her to bed at night a little earlier.

2 of my kids needed a nap once or twice a week at that age, so maybe your DD will seem to do fine one day, but a day or 2 later will start acting like she needs one. She could just be "in between" needing one and not needing one.

Best wishes :)

1 mom found this helpful

K.J.

answers from Chicago on

My oldest TRIED to give up his naps around that age, but I was very adament that he nap. I forced them until a few months ago (he is now 4.5), and sometimes I still do force him to if I can tell he needs one.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Don't let this turn into a power struggle that makes both of you teary and exhausted every day. Some kids give up their naps earlier than others. You cannot force another human -- of any age -- to sleep, eat or poop; that's why so many parents have so many issues and struggles with toddlers.

My daughter gave up naps pretty much the day she turned two. What you can do is establish a good, daily "quiet time" routine: At the same time each day (around her old nap time) you take her to her room and she stays there for a certain length of tiime with "quiet time" occupations available to her, such as very quiet music on her CD player and books, and with light fairly dim (but enough that she can look at books if she likes). This may mean she falls asleep some days or never, but it does teach her to be alone and to amuse herself at least for a short time.

HOWEVER, rememver that she is still only two, and these quiet times may not last the lovely hour or three you would like them to; you will not get back your own old routine of having time to do what you need while she naps! If she can do it for 10 minutes, praise her a lot, and work up to longer times as she gets older. She will try to wander out of her room a few times for sure; walk her back immediately but don't interact with her or she'll think it's all a game. If she would respond well to your using a timer to mark the quiet tiime period, great.

If she really, really does need naps but cannot make them happen, well, I was happy for the year between age two and age three to put my daughter in the car each day after lunch and go for a drive. She almost always fell asleep in the car and I took a book to read once she was asleep and I could pull over somewhere quiet. She got naps, I got some down time, and it worked for us for that year. She also had a separate quiet time routine but never slept then, so she got both naps and the chance to learn to be alone for short times.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son stopped naps at 2 1/2. There were some days he needed them so I tried to get them in early otherwise he wouldn't sleep at night. If you daughter doesn't want to nap but you think she's tired try some quiet time and let her watch a Disney video for an hour. That way she will rest without actually napping. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Thank you, all of you who suggested "quiet time" instead of nap time. I've had the same problem with my 3 year old girl. She doesn't want to nap at home since her 6 year old sister doesn't nap, but she gets all whiny in the afternoon without a nap, so I know she would probably benefit from sleeping in the middle of the day. At pre-school she is one of the first to fall asleep and sleeps deep for one and a half hour her teachers says.
Quiet time for the whole family on the weekends sounds great. TV, books on tape or book reading for all of us sounds cozy. Thanks

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

oh my god you made it to age three lol! My two year old has only been taking one nap a week, he just sits on his bed for an hour most days.

1 mom found this helpful

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Even if she doesn't need a nap her body needs the rest and quiet time. Remember, naps aren't punishment, they're for a child's own good. I'd tell her that she doesn't have to go to sleep, but that she does have to stay in bed quietly for whatever the amount of time you choose is. Darken the room, have a fan on for white noise and she more than likely will still nap at least some days if she feels it's her choice ; )

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

2 of my kids stopped napping at 2 years old & kid number 3 napped until he was 3 - everyone is different.

if the night time sleep schedule is not impacted, let her keep napping. If she's staying up too late or fighting the nap, it's time to let them go.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.N.

answers from Las Vegas on

My son just turned 3, and we have been some luck with quiet time. Sometimes he actually falls asleep on his own (depends on how much he did in the morning). He hasn't taken naps consistently for about a year, although he does go through phases where he needs one every once in a while, or sometimes a few days in a row. If she is super tired, she does probably need naps, but kids are really stubborn at this age. If she doesn't want to sleep, she won't, but quiet time does refresh them a bit.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.S.

answers from New York on

I would allow my children to get their pillows and watch a Disney movie. They knew if they got off the couch then they had to go into their rooms, so they would stay put and watch the movie. Most times they would fall asleep, and if they didn't they rested, and I got my much needed break during the day. In my opinion wasn't really worth the battle. I don't think it is something at that age you can force, they are transitioning out of naps so some days they need them and other days they don't. I found this way worked for us.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.W.

answers from Denver on

I agree, every kid is different. Base your decision on your family, not your friends.
My kids are approaching 4 1/2. I finally gave up daily "nap forcing" about a year ago. It was so bad, we would fight for 2 hours, and the only days it was successful was when hubby came home for lunch to put them down for nap. I gave up. Even today, I believe they still need it. But, our days are MUCH happier since we quit fighting about it. They go to bed 1-2 hours earlier at night, and that is less of a fight, too. Some days they fall asleep during a movie or quiet time, some days they ask to nap, some days we tell them they have to. But that's not the norm, and it just works better for all of us.
They still nap for other people (Dad, grandparents), but not me. But we've found our medium. So also don't think it is an all or nothing-maybe it will go to every other day or so, then every couple of days...

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

We gave up about that age if not a little earlier when she never slept at nap time. We would put her in her crib and she would just play or cry or talk or whatever. All it did was stress us out and didn't help her. My husband thought she wasn't getting enough sleep but we would just try to get her to bed earlier to try and make up for the missed nap.
Good luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Toddlers need their naps! No question about it. My son struggles with me almost daily too with his naps. However there is no debate. YOU WILL NAP, lol :) it allows their brain to rest. They need that down time.

Sometimes it takes an entire HOUR to get my son to sleep. Sometimes that hour struggle gets me an hour nap. Its truly better then nothing. Its a power struggle for my son, to see what he can get away with and how long I can battle with him. He eventually gives up, around that hour....then he finally just gives in, turns around, tries a few more times, then just closes his eyes and crashes out.

I learned with my strong minded son, that giving him choices in where he sleeps, what he sleeps with, and if he wishes to have music or not, helps. Then he MUST close his eyes when he is laying down. I give him about 10 minutes when he first lays down to get settled down. He can play for the first ten minutes, then he must stop playing to wind down. If he continues his toy and music will be taken away.

If he behaves, I usually sit in the same room as him doing my own thing. Ignoring him completely. He will then nod off all on his own.

You might be missing your 3yr old signs of being tired, which in turn makes a VERY tired child who is restless and unable to nod off on their own. Which in turn develops a struggle. I suggest just teaching your 3yr old quite time. He or she must lay down quietly. Teach him or her to lay there for the length she or he would normally nap. Its not easy at first. But stick to your guns and do not give in. The child must NOT get off the couch, chair or bed.

Make the first few minutes of the quite time of you two reading a book together. Then instruct the child its quite time. Give him or her a book on their own to read. After the child is done, you can choose to give them a quite toy of their liking. One that will allow them to play quietly and not create a struggle if the child causes problems. Even watching a movie is good too. Its still resting time.

for nap...with my son...he MUST close his eyes. He opens them, he is told to keep them closed. This truly helps my son nod off faster. Everything else just adds to it.

Don't give up the naps just yet!!! Truly believe its a power struggle, not them telling you they are not tired. THEY ARE!!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.V.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter stopped napping around her 2nd bday. She would just play in her room quietly, but she never fell asleep. I insisted on quiet time for another 6 months after that, and now, at 3.5, she has 60 minutes of PBS in the dark to recharge her battery.

My son is almost 2 and I doubt he will give up his nap any time soon. I really think it depends on the kid. Different kids need different amounts of sleep, just like adults. My son always slept --he came out sleeping well. My daughter? Too busy to sleep, always has been.

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Why are you forcing a nap on a child that clearly doesn't need it.

My oldest still napped in the summer after kindergarten, second stopped napping at one year, the other two around a year and a half. If a child is fighting you more than they are napping they just don't need a nap anymore.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from San Diego on

My daughter gave up her naps around 2 1/2 so what I did was just made that her Quiet time." I was pregnant so I REALLY needed that quiet time!! Anyway, she stayed in her room at that tine abd played or looked at her books.

My son didn't give up his naps until kinder.

Good luck and enjoy!!

A.D.

answers from Norfolk on

My sister has 7 kids, the oldest just turned 5 this past july. Yes you read that correctly--7 kids that are 5 and under! She has them all down to a perfect little routine and schedule and they ALL nap. She simply feeds them lunch then they all put their dishes in the sink and walk upstairs and climb in their beds. She gives them all kisses and tucks them in and they all nap for 2 hours. My son (almost 3) has napped over there with them a few times, and told me that all of the boys will talk for a few minutes and then they all passed out and told my boy to be quiet and go to sleep haha. In my personal experience, kids that give up naps before the age of 4 are usually terribly behaved and always cranky. I think your daughter still needs it--and so do you. But I would change the dynamic of it into a "rest time" instead of naps. Let her think SHE is in control of it--lay her down in a dimly lit room with white noise and let her look at books if she wants but she has to be laying down. And you can't be in there because that will keep her awake more. My son has tried nap strikes several times but we stay consistent and he has to lay take a "rest time" . After a month or two of this he likes to argue with me that he will be doing Nap time that day, NOT resting! They just really like to be in control at this age. Best of luck to you!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions