Almost 6-Year-old Is Afraid to Sleep in Own Bed

H.
Wow that brings back memories if my son at that age. His imagination also was so amazing he would scare himself and had problems at night. Here is what we did to help my son thru this porblem...

Step one. Find out exactly what is scaring him. This may take a few days of long and strange conversations. The best time to get a good answer is immediately after he wakes up at night.

Step two. Buy a apray bottle and using what he says decorate it and write on the bottle that it is a spray that keeps whatever it is that spooks him away. My son was little skeptical so we also made up a chant. We filled the bottle with water and vinegar for a smell (this was long before febreeze)

Step three. Incorporate the spray and chant into his bedtime routine ( I found it worked best to do it just before we read a story)I would leave the bottle in his room so if he woke up he could give a little spray if needed.
This silly little routine worked like a charm he woke up the first 2-3 night and we couel hear him chant and spray again and then it stopped..

Good luck

Greetings! I don't know if this will work with a 6 year old but since he has such a vivid imagination it might just work. Try giving him a small mister bottle filled with water to take to bed with him. You tell him its monster spray then whenever he hears a loud noise or something that scares him (a "monster" or whatever)he can spray it. It worked with my nephew but he was a little younger. Good Luck!!

My son used to do that we bought him a fishr price flashlight and let him sleep with it . we explained to him that the reason he hears noises at night is because it's so quiet in the world, and those are the same noises that happen during the day we just don't notice them. Have him lay down during the day and close his eyes and just listen. Make a game of it turn off the t.v. and have him tell you what he hears . Then have him explain what it could be. My son loved that, he'd hears the garbage truck a plane over head some work being done outside, and he would say Oh I know that sound and I'd say are you sure. We made a fun game of it, plus it's a nice way to wind down turn off the t.v. and relax, I would close my eyes and play with him making a joke of it . I'd say did you hear that he'd say no I'd say hey did you fart ? And when he could not figure out a sound I asked if it scared him he would say no, I asked him why and he said because it's day time and I told him the only difference from ady to night is that God puts the sun to bed for the night so it could shine bright all day, just why we need to sleep so we can shine bright all day . And if we don't get enough sleep we are not shining bright we are cranky tired and sometimes sad but we don't know why. (or you could always just tell him you have monsters in your closet that'll keep him in his room LOL) good luck

My daughter does this at times as well and we have discovered letting her be in control of the music has worked by putting the CD player next to her on the nightstand and she can hit play if she wakes up. That has helped in addition to "scary room spray" that we do a chant before bed and then spray a few squirts (water) which helps relieve her fears in addition to the nightstand light (low watt bulb) on all night. You could have fun and get a party bulb for night time like blue/red/yellow, etc....Good luck, I feel your pain-LOL!

One thing I would suggest....no tv. If you have it, cut it out. Then monitor strictly what dvd's you allow him to watch. My daughter had the same issues. Then I allowed the nightlight in the room and the light on in his closet...I would even let her fall asleep with her lamp on. But no lights in the hallway. If she came to my room, I would point out that she walked in the dark and it is dark in my room...so why isn't she afraid.

She was scared of Hopper in the movie Bug's Life. She would wake up screaming. I had to finally show her grasshoppers that summer and how little they were. I told her to stomp him when he came in her dreams. That worked for that one.

I would hug her at night when she had a bad dream, but I explained she had to go back to bed. When she fell asleep, I put her back.

The second child is now afraid of the dark and we are working with her. She sleeps with her sister. Too bad he doesn't have a sibling to snuggle with.

Just keep insisting that there is nothing there. Keep showing him under the bed and so forth. Allow a small light...but put him back in his bed everynight. Otherwise you will have him in there until he's in middle school. I know so many people that have had kids in their bed until they were 12 and 13. Not good for the parents that's for sure.

Keep pointing out what is real and what is make believer or imagination. Make that a daily exercise. He will get it eventually. My three year old is starting to understand.

I don't have a six year old, so I can't give any advice as a parent.

But as a child, I was glad to know that I could crawl in with mom or dad anytime I needed to and they didn't send me away. I was pretty sure panthers were going to crawl up the steps and get me. It was much safer snuggled up to dad.

I'm 34 now and I sleep in my own bed.

Our situations:
My son is now 14 but had his first nighttime seizure at 8.5 years old. He was afraid to sleep in his room because he might have another and not be heard. Understandable.
My younger son has the vivid imagination. What if... I think I heard... Did I just see...
What I did:
I went down to Radio Shack and bought a intercom system for their room with the central monitor in my room. We use it only at bed time. When I go in to say good night, they flip it on then I flip on mine.
During the day, I allowed them to test it out (one would be in my room - one in a bedroom - they could hear that I could hear them...).
It helped them feel confident that if they needed me I'd be there so they could sleep with no worries.
My younger son doesn't use his at all anymore (just for a short time and every so often when he's sick) while my older son continues to use his due to the seizures.
Then they turn them off when they wake up in the morning.
J.

I had two sons who would try to crawl into bed with us at night... and then I wouldn't sleep. The solution was a sleeping bag and instructions to quietly come into the room and sleep on the floor. Sometimes they would even layout their sleeping bag before they went to bed "just in case". Under no circumstances (aside from being sick) were they to wake me. It absolutely worked. After a while, they got tired of sleeping on the floor. It did take a little while, but we all got sleep.

Make sure the Legos are not in the room with him when he goes to bed if he's scareing himself with them. A nightlight in the hall shining under the door may also help. Tell him you need it there so when you wake up and check on him during the night that you don't fall or trip. Let him think you check on him every time you or daddy wake up during the night. Build his security back up. Also, walk him back to his bed...stick with it; if you don't let him in bed with you, and stay firm, he'll go back to his own bed.

wow! It's like you are writing about my son. We have the EXACT same situation with our almost 6 year old. Wish I had some good advice for you... I will be check your post to see what advice you get, I need it!

Stick with a firm routine (for example: jammies, brush teeth, read stories in bed and lights out) - and don't change it up. Be firm about saying good night once only. Finally, some advice I got from a friend, identify your child's favorite fun movie with him and tell him to "play" the movie in his head from start to finish. Like the kids version of counting sheep! He might be old enough to do this and have it work.

I had a similiar problem with my nephew who lived with us. I tried the following:
1). Find the source of what makes him scared
2). Inspect the room with him at bedtime; look under the bed, in the closet, etc., to assure him no boogie man is hiding in his room. Explain how things look in the dark and turn the lights on and off to demonstrate.
3). Admittedly, I am not extremely religious person, but every night we said a prayer to his 'guardian angel' to watch over as he slept

It took some time, but he slept like a champ within a month or so. Good Luck!

Using your son's imagination to help him quash the monsters (or whatever)is an excellent idea, and helped us. If he had nightmares or scary images in his head we would invent a superhero etc. who could destroy the evil doers. Also we did the flashlight, the nightlight and the prayers to guardian angel. That seemed to really help him. I think because it is sort of magical thinking that is the problem, more magical thinking helps where common sense fails- saying "there's nothing there" does zero good in my opinion. If all else fail, I would cuddle with him until he fell asleep, tiring for Mom, but at least he was sleeping in his room. Whatever you do don't shame him for being fearful, it's normal and especially for the super imagainative, which is a gift, although it may not seem like it at times.

My children have not as fearful as your child sounds, but I do think this might help. I have a dream catcher in each one of their rooms. I tell them the story about how it catches bad dreams and lets the good ones pass through. When they do have a bad dream and they question the dream catcher I simply say it is full, the nightmares have turned to dust and it must be cleaned. I would also think about employing his imagination and Lego toys with this situation. Maybe his guys could build something to defeat the nightmares and they could stand watch and protect him at night. I also wonder if you continue the music all night, if that would help. When he does come to your bed, it would be best to take back to his own bed and if the music isn't playing turn it on again. Comfort him and stay for a few minutes. I hopes this gives you some ideas. :)

When my son was about 3 or 4 he was afraid to go to sleep in his bed. He shared a room with his brother who is one year younger, but was still afraid. I did not want him to sleep in my bed, and I ended up having to sit in his room on the edge of his bed until he fell asleep. I would not talk to him or anything except for simple directions to go to sleep now. It lasted for a while then he just phased out of it. He did not wake up at night very often, but if he did I would have to be sitting in there again until he went back to sleep. I wanted to make it as non-disruptive to a regular routine and him sleeping in his own bed as possible. Hopefully this is just a phase for your son too. I kept him out of my bed for fear that he would just want to come in there every night. I tried all the little tricks to get him to not be afraid, but it ended up just needing time for him to get over it.

We have an active imagination boy too. He's 8 now and aside from an army of stuffed animals, he has no problems sleeping at night. One of the things I tried was to use that imagination to "squash" the bad guys, monsters, etc. During the daytime, I asked him what made him scared. Then we talked thru how his imaginary monster truck (his favorite thing at the time) could easily crush them or get him far away from there to a safe place. We talked about what the safe place would be like to get that picture into his head too. It did help but it took time. We would not let him come in our bed, but I would sit with him for a few minutes. He would stay awake because he was afraid I'd leave so I didn't stay long. I felt he needed to know that I knew he was safe and that I felt okay leaving him alone in his room. I just stayed long enough for the initial fright to go away - and of course talked quietly about a cool monster truck... Also, when I was crabby in the morning from lack of sleep, I would nicely explain that since Mommy didn't get enough sleep because we were up during the night it might help mommy to not be crabby if she could sleep all night. :) Tried not to blame him, but just point out the facts. Good Luck!