Almost 3 Year Old Going to Bed Later and Later, Routine Gone All of Sudden

Here's what I did, and it worked (took about 10 days?):

I sat in my son's room (with my book on my ipad) and waited for him to fall asleep. I did that for a couple of nights. That way, if he started to even think about getting out of bed, I reminded him that it was bedtime and to go to sleep. If you are in another room and your daughter has to get out of bed, she's already waking up a bit more and has to relax again when she gets back to her bed.

After 3 or 4 nights (and him not really trying to get up anymore), I made an excuse to leave the room with the promise of coming "right back." "I'm going to start a load of laundry, but then I'm going to come right back." I always came back! Each night, I stretched out the time until I was coming back after he fell asleep.

One of the reasons kids get up is because they think there's something exciting going on while they are asleep. If you sit there very quietly, you're not out there somewhere having a party without her, and she can relax and go to sleep.

I don't see why you need to lock her in her room. Help her fall asleep.

why is a 3 year old deciding her bed time? if you want her in at 8, put her to bed at 8. the routine should be YOURS to decide, not hers.

very small children change rapidly. just because she went to sleep easily for a while doesn't mean it will stay that way. you even say this was an issue just a few months ago.

and when it happened then, you taught her what your response would be. she's still only 2. obviously she's going to go with what worked before. why wouldn't she?

if you want a different outcome this time, it's on you to handle it differently, right? she's not just going to do it.

i know you're tired, but this isn't something you can short cut. you create a nice, calming, and most of all, CONSISTENT bedtime routine (you do this- not she). you stick to it. period.

if she gets up, you march her little butt back to bed. yes, she'll object. and when you're exhausted and frustrated, remind yourself that a) she's only 3 and b) you taught her to do this.

it will create more exhaustion and frustration for you in the short term, but in the long run your entire family will benefit. and parenting is a long game.

khairete
S.

Actually, many changes have happened. But you can't see them. Her little almost 3 year old brain is growing by leaps and bounds. Now, she's aware that things happen after she's in bed, and they seem exciting. To you, they're routine - having a cup of tea, working at your computer, taking a shower, etc. But to her, they seem enticing.

Also, at 3, her imagination is growing. Who wants to sleep when at any moment, ponies and ballerinas could come right through the front door? Better stay awake so you don't miss it!

Locks aren't the answer. Consistency is. Have a routine, where you don't interact with her, but you calmly walk her back to her bed. No talking. No eye contact. You tell her that when her night light comes on, she must stay on her bed, asleep or not. Then when you turn the night light off in the morning, she is free to roam around.

Start getting her up earlier in the morning.
When she comes out of her room keep taking her back to her bed.
Maybe you can sleep on a cot in her room for awhile until she stops trying to wander after bedtime.

Here is my suggestion. Perhaps it will help you. Buy a cheap interior door. Have someone cut it off several inches up above the door knob. Have it sanded well so that there are no splinters. Put the door lock on the outside. It’s called Dutch door I think. This way your daughter cannot come out of her room. You do not go into her room at all when she cries. If she lays in the floor instead of getting in her bed, saying nothing. If she cries, in 5 minutes, speak to her outside the room saying “Go to sleep “ and then walk away. Then in 10 minutes, do the same thing. Then in 15 minutes, do the same thing. Add five minutes onto the time that you address it with her. The first couple nights, it might be hard. But eventually, if you are 100% consistent, she will get better. She will realize that nothing she does will change things. And she will finally give up and sleep.

Don’t let her sleep in late. If she is not taking a nap, as you said, don’t let her start.

There was a question just a couple of weeks ago like this - so maybe flip back and check out the responses, there were some good ones.

I never ran into this so extreme, although time changes always threw one of mine for a loop, but making sure mine were good and tired, but not over tired was key.

Mine got up before 8 am so you might want to get her up earlier if you want an earlier bedtime - that could be part of it.

I used to make sure mine were ready for bed early like in pajamas and all set to go well ahead of time. Then I watched for being actually tired, so could whisk them off when we saw the yawns. That way, into bed for a quick story and they'd fall asleep.

We did what Gidget suggested - where I would sort of go in and out (I'd say I was putting laundry away) and I'd just kind of tidy the upstairs so they knew I would come back in. If you have to, you can sit quietly in her room until she falls asleep - provided you are ok with it, and you don't get into a whole new routine - it's meant as a way to curb the getting up 20 times routine.

I just made bedtime pleasant. Mine could look at books in bed. They'd pass out within minutes.