Please Help Me - Macomb,MI

Updated on December 11, 2012
A.S. asks from Macomb, MI
17 answers

My Daughter is 2 1/2 years old. Full of energy , loves to play , be happy , I love her very much but lately we have been fighting to get to go to sleep at night,. My husband and I both work and I am usally working night and when my husband is here with her he has a hard time getting her down for sleep. But lately I have been fighting with her to go to sleep. Seems like nothing I do seems to get my little one to bed before midnight or 2am at the latest.

We do bath,lotion,story, cuddle, rock and everything else. Just lately she has been saying her is scared and dont wanna go to bed. But I am feeling that she not geting enough sleep as she should. I am just concerned about it .

Even if i put her to bed by 10 pm and it takes her from 10pm to 1am to go to sleep in her room. She gets up and plays with toys and reads her books, jumps on the bed,

i cant leave the door open at night cuz she comes out and wants to play . I just dont know what to do. But why is she going to bed so late... and she is uslaly up by 10...

I need some help.. anything would be great..

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So What Happened?

Thanks Lady's for your answers I will try most of them . But before I start I have always tryed to put my daughter to bed by 730 -8 with out a nap. But then she naps for the those 2 hours and she has thought that was nap time and not bed time. Even if we get to go to sleep at that time she is up and 9 pm with full of engery and wants to play all night. that is one reason why i dont put her to bed at that time . that. I always try to keep her in a schudle for sleeping. I will do what ever it takes for her to go to bed. I will try all the suggetions that you had said. But as for not I will start putting her to bed by 900 TONIGHT/.

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answers from New York on

This is what I did. Keep a consistent bedtime - let her know what it is and stick to it. Get her up the same time every morning.

My daughter had trouble falling asleep. She wouldn't stay in her room, waned to play etc...
We solved the problem by giving her some quiet art projects, such as coloring books and crayons that she could play with while in bed until she was tired enough to fall asleep. She was not allowed to get up, run around or make noise. I told her that she could show us her work in the morning.

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answers from Pittsburgh on

She's sleeping til 10?
Get her up at 6 or 7...she'll be ready to sleep at 8 pm!

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

I think it must be a phase. She is not needing as much sleep right now. I often think it's getting ready to stay up all night waiting for Santa of I know my grand kids and a lot of other kids are going pretty nuts about right now. They are bombarded with so much stuff this time of year too.

The barometric pressure is wonky with the big weather changes going on pretty much everywhere and the dry air that is coming in, it's all playing on the kids right now.

Just be patient and if needed just go lay down with her until she's out. I shut the door and pulled the bed in front of it so that I could sleep and the grandson could play for as long as he wanted. I woke up several times in a couple of hours and he was still playing away.

He stopped doing that in about 3 months. It was long and hard but if they're not sleepy there is really nothing that you can do to make them fall asleep.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Columbia on

10pm is really late. My kids were in bed no later than 7:30pm at that age.

Keep the bedtime routine consistent and short. Bath, lotion, ONE story, 10 minutes of cuddle, and then lights out.

For the playing issue, she simply has too much light in her room. The simplest answer is to remove the light bulb, or, if there is a pull switch at the ceiling (for a ceiling fan) turn it off there so she can't use the wall swtich to turn it off. Remove any and all light-emitting toys. Get rid of the night light in her room. If she says she's scared, simply say "There's nothing to be afraid of," and nothing else. Don't try to reason with a 2 year old. Get all the lights out of there and then the room will be dark and boring, and she'll go to sleep.

Also, turn the doorknob around (using a screwdriver) so the lock is on the outside. Lock it. She won't be able to come out. It might tick her off, but she'll get over it. Once she's asleep, you can unlock it again (especially if she's potty trained and will need access to the toilet).

Don't worry if she falls asleep on the floor. Once she's asleep, you can go in and adjust everything.

This is normal 2 year old behavior. You simply have to nip it in the bud and get her on a consistent schedule. Let her know that bedtime is bedtime, not playtime (not having any light will really help).

Best of luck!

C. Lee

ETA: Also, getting up at 10am is too late. She needs to be waking around 7-8. Get her on a normal sleep schedule and she'll go to bed easier at night. You might have a hard few days ahead of you while she adjusts.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Sherman on

my guess is because she sleeps in until 10am. that seams really late for a little one.
that is fine if it works with you life style, but it doesnt sound like it does. i am guessing that is why you posted.

what works for us is a full belly, warm bath, and wind down time starting around 6-7pm where we sit still, snuggle and watch a movie or read a book.
then she is in bed by 8 and up by 7. so about 10-11 hrs of sleep.

which is only a little more than yours if she is in bed by midnight and up by ten.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Austin on

Wake her up at 7 or 8 to start her day.. Then keep her on an active schedule all day. Nap starting at 12.. And not past 2. Active afternoon.. She will be tired by 7. Quiet your bedtime routine very quietly.. She will conk out.. By about 8 pr 8:30.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

Make sure she gets her energy out DURING the day: run, play, outside
activity if warm enough or indoor walking at stores or the mall duirng
inclement weather.
She needs activity during the day to ensure she is tired enough to fall
asleep at night
Try to get rid of a nap during the day if she has one.
Okay now that she has a late bedtime & late rising, work to shift her waking and bedtime up by an hour. Start with waking her 1 hr earlier. Get
her active during the day then w/i a few days she will be tired an hr
earlier for bed.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Miami on

I think that you should take the toys and books out of her room. Take more and more out every morning if she did this during the night. Tell her why, too. Pretty soon, all her toys in her room will be gone.

You need to start waking her in the morning and making her get up at the same time every day. If I am understanding what you are writing, she is sleeping in until 10 am? That's too late for her to be sleeping. Does she take a nap? If she does, it should be after lunch and for no more than 2 hours. Then bedtime should be around 9:00.

You should NEVER let her come out of her room. Give her no attention whatsoever for this except the next morning to remove the books and toys she played with. You will likely go through a hard time the first week, making her get up at 7:00 or 8:00, making her go in her room after lunch to lay down, and then putting her to bed at 9:00. But she will eventually adjust if you just give her no choices but these particular hours of sleep.

You have to ignore her saying she is scared. Scared kids don't jump on their bed. She is trying anything to get you to come pay attention to her, and that is just making the problem worse.

Be 100% consistent and hang in there!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Boston on

If she sleeps until 10 AM, then going to bed at 10 PM is probably on schedule. If that fits with your schedule, that's one thing. But if you are using the morning to do your own things while she naps, it's creating a problem. She's also missing many daylight hours of play and other activities that would tire her out. She's either not burning up enough energy during the day, or she's overtired at night and can't settle down. You don't say whether she naps, which is a big factor.

Follow the other advice given here - get her up and moving earlier, and fill her days with activity so that night time is quiet time.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

what is your daytime schedule like? get her up in the morning by 8 am and make sure she gets some good physical exercise in. go to the park, go for a walk, run around the backyard etc. don't do big long naps in the afternoon. at her age about an hour should do it and that no later than noon. then start your bedtime routing about 630. do supper, some quiet time the bath and bed.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from St. Louis on

sounds over-tired to me. :)

& 10pm is very late, with 10am a waste of the day! I realize we all have varying schedules, but flipping her to an earlier time slot (as others have suggested) will solve a lot of issues + better prepare her for school.

Where is she during the day? Is she playing with other children? This age group needs lots of outlets for that unending energy!

& since both parents are battling her, I'd also like to suggest watching the "1-2-3 Magic" video. It will teach you how to discipline without fighting. !!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

at 2.5 years.. your child should be sleeping about 12 hours per day.

almost all children wake up with the sun at this age..

a normal sleep schedule for a child of this age shoudl be bed at 730 and up at 730. if she is one of those rare kids taht really doesnt need that much sleep.. move the betime back a little. but most likely she will be up about 7 am no matter when she goes to bed.



answers from Chicago on

Now that the sleep cycle is set, you're going to have to work to change it back to a saner one. Wake her up starting with an hour earlier(take the covers away, open the drapes, turn on the lights). In a week, change it to an hour before that. This will put her at waking up at 8:00.

On the flip, put her to bed earlier in stages as well.

Here's the part where all of you won't be happy. Turn off the TV(unplug it if you have to). Nobody watches TV before she's asleep, and no Computer(unless it's in a room that she doesn't get in, and you have team backup).
Play soothing music only(Mine is always WFMT classical, or a classical playlist on the MP3 player piped through speakers), and have a shifting nightlight(I have an LED nova light in the hallway, and it has star patterns in shifting colours play on the wall, and an LED "planetarium" light in his room that displays a night sky on his ceiling).

DO NOT CLOSE THE DOOR. Make sure all of your rooms in the house have dimmed lights(ditto for naptime), and make sure for the first few days she can see you are nearby, maybe doing a puzzle book. Let her know firmly it's bedtime, but you are nearby, then go back to your puzzle book.

You say she says she's scared. Here's something I did for my son when he went through that. (be prepared to vacuum her room a LOT more every day).

"Scary Monster be Gone" dust

1 tablespoon of glitter (the colour she likes)
1 tablespoon of dried basil (whole, then broken by hand)
1 tablespoon of dried sage(whole, then broken by hand)
1 tablespoon of sea salt.
Mix this well and put into a small lidded container.

Every time she's scared, have her sprinkle some of this "Magic Scary be Gone dust" near her bed, the closet door, and her bedroom door.
Make up some appropriate words to go with this.

For my son, who thought he had a boogeyman, the words were, "This is my room, you have to go! Scary Monster be Gone!" Then he sprinkled it where it scared him the most. If a child believes their words have power, not only will they be able to "banish" the scary monster, they will have more confidence in general to speak up for other "scary" things.

Hang in there Mama!



answers from New York on

You'll be doing your little one a favor by getting her to sleep earlier and having her wake up earlier.

Also, no naps during the day - that will help her to be tired at night.

If you must, remove toys from her room. This way, her room is for sleeping only. If you must, let her read at night for a set amount of time (10 minutes) and then lights out. No buts. Play soothing music (or try a book on tape). And once you establish the routine, keep firm to it.

Good luck!



answers from Springfield on

Does she nap? If so, how long?

At that age, my boys were still napping. I don't know if it was me or them *probably me), but they both liked to take very long naps (3 hours) and only sleep 8 or 9 hours at night. The pattern you described would have fit both of them at that age.

You have to consider the number of hours of sleep she realistically sleeps each night. If she's sleeping until 10 am, is that an ok time for you? If you want her to go to bed earlier, you need to consider the fact that she'll probably begin waking up earlier.

When we had to switch from summer to school year, my oldest had to be there by 9:00 am and we needed to adjust their "wake up" times. So we slowly began waking them up a bit earlier and putting them to bed a bit earlier. Since they needed to be up by 7:30, I knew that meant I needed to try and get them to bed by 10:00.

Now that they've dropped their naps, they do sleep closer to 11 hours at night, which is really nice :-)

Think about what her patterns are and then adjust the times to what fits your needs. It seems clear that right now her body doesn't need more than 9 or 10 hours of sleep at night.


answers from Norfolk on

My son went through a phase where he was scared of the dark (it was a long phase for him).
He had a night light in his room but being alone in there was still too scary.
At right about 2 1/2 is where most kids can start having nightmares.
Their imaginations are going at full tilt during the day and this doesn't stop for sleeping - it continues in dreams.
He'd fall asleep in his room at bedtime but when he woke up in the night he wanted me.
Eventually he figured out if he woke me up I'd take him back to his room.
So he would just come to our room and tuck himself in at the foot of our bed.
We'd wake up in the morning and we'd find him there fast asleep holding onto my foot.
At least we all got more sleep that way.
Consider setting up a sleeping bag next to your bed.
If she can't sleep in her room, she can sleep next to you and feel more secure with you near by.


answers from Washington DC on

WOW!!! Sounds like your daughter rules the roost. That is NOT meant to be mean. This is just how it sounds.

You need to set rules and boundaries.

She is walking all over you in telling you she's scared. You need to find out WHY she is scared. Then show her she has nothing to be afraid of...the fact that she is playing and jumping on the bed? She's not scared.

No electronics 1 hour prior to bed time. NONE - no tv, kindle, nook, XBOX, Leapster, mobile phone games - NOTHING electronic. QUIET activities...books, drawing, etc.

When she gets out of bed. Put her BACK IN is NOT a fight. Do NOT give her a fight. Be matter of fact. "Jane, it is bed time. You need to go back to bed." and take her there - do not yell. do not fight. this is what she wants. Two year olds are learning about control, independence and how to manipulate those around them. The more you engage with her, the more she gets her way.

If she is afraid of the dark but wants the door open? A compromise is in order - hang a curtain over her doorway that will clock out the light but let her know she is not alone.

You cannot allow her to sleep so late. I know you stated you were working night shift- but she cannot be allowed so sleep past 0800. Get her up. Get her moving. Outside fresh air. Get her involved in things that allow her to burn off energy.

Keep in mind a routine is something that is done over WEEKS...trying 10 things will confuse her. Pick what works for you and STICK WITH IT. Do it EVERY NIGHT for AT LEAST TWO WEEKS - then it becomes a habit and routine. I would stop her naps during the day as well.

Do NOT give her the fight she wants. Set rules, set boundaries. Set Limits. Bed time is 8PM. There will be NO electronics after 7PM. Bath, brush hair, brush teeth, book, prayers, bed.

IF she gets out of bed - CALMLY walk her BACK TO BED. DO NOT yell. DO NOT fight. DO NOT let her win. You are the parent. NOT her.


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