Advise...can You Really Have It All Career, Motherhood & Wife....lol

K.,

As once before someone told me if your not happy, the family will also be unhappy. You will become more and more frustrated and everyone will be miserable as you are inside. You think you can hide it, but honestly not for long. It will show eventually.

I dont think your being selfish, your truly a good person with a good heart from what I read. You wanted to have children and you accomplished it with difficulties. You have put your life and on hold to have a family.

A mothers (mostly) life does get put on hold to begin a family but there is a time when you have to start thinking of yourself too. I believe you can work something out. Do you ever think about hiring a Nanny. I know its difficult, but you should consider it.

I am sure you will figure out how to juggle work and the girls, oops not to forget the hubby.

I am a working mom and I thought myself that I couldnt manage but I am with lots of effort. I am planning to go to school again soon. How I will manage I can not figure it out, but I will. When there is a will there is a way.

I also work at a desk job (now 2 years) and I am rapidly getting bored, but I know once my son who will be 3 enter kinder in 2 more years life will change. I look forward to it and I am excited to see the future.

Well I hope all works out and definitely consider the Nanny possiblity. I know that alone is a huge task, hiring a Nanny, but isnt everything?

Good Luck!!!!!

Hi K...First I want to congratulate you on the birth of your long awaited babygirls. My husband and I waited for 9 years for our babygirl, and by the grace of God, we did't have to do invitro. I understand where you're coming from. I was feeling like that whiny, insecure woman soon after i married because I made my husband and our life together my first priority. After 5 years of being in that state, I went back to school thinking it would make me feel better, but once school was done and i had my degree, i felt the same way again. Then, when i finally got pregnant, i realized i had the power to really change things and the anticipation of being responsible for another life meant i had to get a move on. My dream has always been to run my own business from home. After working at the same full time job for almost 12 years now, I'm finally pursuing my dream of my own home-based referral business. It's hard work, it keeps me tired a lot, and there are times when the dishes don't get done, or the laundry piles up, but it's all worth it because I know five years from now I'll have realized me dream of being home full-time to raise my baby while running my own business part time. In the midst of all of this, I still steal moments for myself like my bubble bath on Sundays, or going to dinner with friends, or just spending an hour on the phone with an old girlfriend. You NEED that...don't feel guilty for wanting time for yourself. You need to be replenished in order to take care of your family. And most importantly, that replenishment comes from the Good Lord. It's in Him that you'll find the strength, tenacity, joy and above all, peace to keep you balanced and going on the right track. I hope this has encouraged you. The other Moms who replied to your request are also very right. God bless you!
Sincerely,
L.
Working Mom Helping Moms
http://www.stayinhomeandlovinit.com/cgi-bin/team.cgi?id=A...

K.,

Wow, it sounds like you are feeling very overwhelmed. It is a struggle for many of us who want it all.
There is a book called "Sequencing" that you amy want to take a look at.
You also may want to look into therapy, and maybe a group setting. This is not my area of expertise but I do work with women post partum and know that there is some very good help out there.
Some of us may feel like a failure by reaching out to therapy but it is a sign of strength to seek help. If you were not feeling well physically you would seek the help of a physician, the same holds true for our mental health.
I wish you good luck and balance.
Warm regards,
L.

compromises, we have to make them, with ourselves and our loved ones,you can have what you want although it may not always be the way you want it, the question you have to ask yourself is "what can you live with?", you can no longer fulfill all those characteristics that you once had, you have more to live for and people who depend on you not to be completely independent, free of fear, dream chaser, but doing what is best for your family does not make you insecure or whiny. try sitting down and making a game plan, don't just jump into it feet first - take the time to plan out how you want to grab the bull by the horns- it may help you to carve out the time to be the superwoman that you want to be.

You can balance both. You have to balance both. It is very hard to have a career and raise children but we have all of the tools to do it. It is just a matter of working through the challenges. I am a mother of a 3 1/2 year old and I have worked in the entertainment business for the past 15 years as well. I am a single mom and I face many challenges due to support / finances and etc. but I refuse to believe that I can't have a career where I am fulfilled while raising my daughter to be a healthy / productive person. I stayed home for 2 years in order to give her a foundation and my career was affected as a result but I was there for all of my daughter's firsts. I worked on websites and video from the comfort of my home and I have struggled financially but my mentality is good because I just can't work in environments where I am unfulfilled. I was also adamant about having my time with my daughter.

I have been working on a documentary about my life as a single mother for the past 5 years. I produce, shoot and edit most of the material by myself. From time to time I do have help from my co-Producer and some videographers but for the most part it is just me so I can relate to you. Learning Final Cut Pro will help you tremendously and having some time set aside to just work on your projects will be great as well. You are so blessed to have your daughters and your husband. Now you need to make sure that your soul sings so that you can continue to be happy which will make them happy as well.

A happy mom raises happy children. Teach your children that they can achieve their dreams by showing them that you achieve (d) yours.

M.