8 Month Old Will Not Sleep

i'm going through the same thing with my 7 month boy....my eldest went through the same thing and he is now two...its exactly how you explain it...but the only way i see that it works is no matter how tired i am as soon as they fall asleep i wake him up again and again so then eventually they are so tired they will eventually fall to sleep long enough for you to get some rest...its what my mom calls FIGHTING SLEEP...SO MAKE THEM FIGHT TO GET SLEEP...when ever she falls asleep wake her right back up until she is ready to sleep...what happens is she is stuck in RAM mode of sleep she really isn't asleep, she is just really comfortable and as soon as you put her down she realizes she is all alone and dont want to sleep by herself.....i'm going through the same thing right now...it is hard but it is really working...i don't know why they wont do it them selves, thats what were here for i guess...to be the parents and set the boundaries...good luck

Our 7 month old is also having sleep issues, more during the day, but off and on at nite as well. One nite he'll sleep 8-9 hours straight and the next (happened to be last nite) he's up every 2 hours. UGH. He sometimes will only take a couple 20 minute naps a day after working at it for over an hour. We're thinking he's just not your average bear when it comes to sleep... the "books" say most babies need like 16 hours a day and ours only gets max of about 12. His Dr. also said he's perfect... so what are ya to do?

The crying it out thing just isn't something we're comfortable with, so have been trying everything else we can think of or read. The bedtime routine seems to help, trying to hold off feeding for at least an hour before bedtime (he's breastfed and started solids about a month ago, about 2 oz. of fruit + cereal in the AM and 2 oz. of veggie at nite and an occasional grahm cracker), then bath, massage if he's into it, pj's, soft music, nurse and he usually konks out and goes in his crib.

Now, here's the weird part... some nites he'll sleep straight thru until 5 or 6 am and some nites he's up again in a couple hours. No clue why. If I send the Hubby in to tend to him (diaper change and try to rock him back to sleep) he usually freaks out bad. I think he's just teething (none yet) and misses mom and needs the comforting from me. He's also learning so many new things and babies like to practice their new skills, sometimes in the middle of the nite. We just have to gently remind them that nite time is for sleeping and do everything we can to teach them good sleep habits.

We have tried the catching him when he's "drowsy" and putting him in his crib, letting him kinda fuss (sometimes he just plays for 30-45 min first) but when he gets really upset we go right in and get him. We don't want him to feel abandoned, he's still too young (in our opinion) to be manipulating us... they're new to the world and need our help. Also, we have definitely found that you can't MAKE a baby sleep... darn it.

Now, the sleep deprivation part really, REALLY bites! I work full time and my husband stays home with our son during the day, so me being up all hours sure seems unfair to me - but it's only for a short time (comparably) and I try to just appreciate the time I have to spend with the little bugger, he's already grown SO fast. I also try to nap if and when the opportunity arises, meditate, work on my deep breathing while I have 5 minutes to myself in the shower or in the car on my way to and from work. With you being a stay-at-home mom, try to get a break away, even if you go get a pedicure or massage or wander around the bookstore for an hour once in a while. Gotta try and do little things to make yourself feel human.

If I were you, I'd just feed her and cuddle her and help her to sleep and try to stop fighting it. We have certainly gotten sick of fighting it, just go with what your baby needs for now - I'm sure she'll change it up again. Babies are great like that, just when you think you've finally got something figured out.

Good luck, I hope knowing your'e not the only one going thru this helps a little! :)

She's only 8 months old so there's a not a lot you can do even with vitamins or alternative meds like Tranquil Child. I just wouldn't risk it. Even natural alternatives can have a significant impact on the body.

Here are some obvious solutions that your previous advisors may have already suggested:

teething (early molars): tylenol
rocking: sounds like she does like the rock. Do you have a swing that could rock her through the night?
warmth: a heating pad on low under a thick blanket or quilt to keep the heat away, yet warm up enough.
cuddling: have you tried sleeping with her?
other cuddling: a car seat is the perfect craddler for little ones that won't sleep on a flat, cold, stiff, surface such as a mattress. And it holds their body secure so they can't turn over. I used to fluff the car seat up with blankets underneath for long naps.
belly sleeper: after falling asleep in your arms can you turn her face down over a wad of blanket. My baby's seemed to sleep best huddled over a wad of blanket just under their bellies.

Worst case scenario: If nothing works and she does this for quite some time, you won't die from lack of sleep.

My son has been through some medical stuff and we've had lots of trouble in the sleep department. I can testify that a person can go through a long and consistant stretch of time without solid sleep and survive.

However, the stress of it does spill out on the body so eat healthy and take your vitamins. Also, you might check with your doctor about an anti-anxiety or anti-depressent drug because our bodies do need sleep to re-calibrate. When you don't get that, the extra help may be necessary. Other than that, I flew off the handle toward strangers and loved ones, I cried a lot, I ate more, I forgot appointments, became very clumbsy, absent minded, and sometimes strangely hyper (sort of manic). The only thing I really had to take seriously was that on some days, I really couldn't drive. I'd start daydreaming so intense while driving that I would really forget that I was on the road. It was at those times, that I would have to call my husband or mother and ask them to meet me at my appointment because it was unsafe for me to drive home.

When you're really powerless over a situation and nothing you've tried can manage it, it's time to just ask for help. Can someone watch the baby while you sleep for like 4 hours straight?

OK, well, I apologize if I was discouraging. All I know is that I held out hope that "this too will pass" and that if the worst does happen, don't feel bad if things go a-miss a little, don't sweat it, just keep yourself safe when driving.

Hi M.,

I don't have a lot of advice for you on this, but I can tell you I have been going through this same thing with my son since the beginning and he's nearly 16 months now. He's always had to be walked or rocked to sleep, he's not good at putting himself back to sleep (though sometimes he does), when he does wake up he has to be walked/rocked back to sleep and he wakes up a few times a night. I too have tried so many things and for many months now I just give up and let him sleep in our bed. In our bed he does sleep through the night. For naps he would only sleep about 30 minutes but would usually go back to sleep and stay asleep for a long time if someone was holding him. We have recently come to the conclusion that he has trouble sleeping because he prefers to be around people, not alone in his own room. We think this because for one, he sleeps well in our bed, and two, he takes really long naps when he sleeps on the living room couch at our house or his grandma's. So we have been letting him nap on the couch (he's napping between 2 - 3.5 hours the first time and about an hour the second nap) and we have just moved his bed into our room. It's too soon to say if moving his bed into our room is going to help. But here are a few things that have helped my son go to bed easier (minimal rocking/walking) and stay asleep longer: a consistent bedtime routine, a sleep inducing bedtime snack (the No-Cry Sleep Solution has a list of those I believe), a white noise machine (ours is made by DEX, got it from Amazon.com for about $25), and making sure he is warm. Also, I realized that some foods were giving him painful gas that was waking him up, so I eliminated those from his diet. Just FYI, his bedtime routine: around 7:30 a light snack, then bath and brush teeth, PJ's, bedtime story (2 or 3 books), and a little prayer. And then right after I turn out the light (after his bath lights are kept low) I say "Goodnight Davey" and he immediately puts his head on my shoulder.

I know you have read a lot of books, so perhaps you have already tried all these things with no luck. And I'm sorry it's such a long response, but I know exactly what you're going through and I wanted to be of any help if I could. OH, and I forgot to say - I've tried the crying it out deal against my instincts (pressure and desperation like you) and it has never worked. The longest I ever let him cry was 3 hours (and he never let's up) and that's when I decided it just wasn't going to work for him. All babies are different, some things will work for some and some won't. Hope this has been helpful in some way and good luck. Even though it's frustrating sometimes, I try to cherish those times holding my son, rocking him to sleep.

hey, i have been lucky enough not to be completly plauged by this... but then again co-sleeping was what worked best for me. now if there isn't any big reasons why you don't want to cosleep, i really do believe that it could help. i did get to the point where i thought my son would NEVER sleep in his own bed, much less his own room... you could also try haviing his bed in your room. i really don't believe that babies manipulate their parents to be mean, she is trying to communicate a need to you... and i will admit, you gotta be carefulwith responding too quickly... oh hey, as far as crib sleeping, if she just wants to be close to mommy, you could put a shirt of yours that you wore in the past day or so in her crib, so she can smell you and might trick in to thinking that you are there. and i'm sorry if you have already read the baby book, by DR.Sears and his wife, but i really found it helpful... just their aditude on night time parenting made me feel alot more comfortablein my new role as mommy. i hope any of this helps... good luck

I don't want to brag but my son sleeps like a dream. I did the cry it out method but I didn't go in there every few minutes. I just let him cry till he fell asleep. My son learned to suck his thumb for a while to calm himself but since he can use his hands so well now he like his pacifier. Does your daughter have a teddy bear or something like that. You can get her a sleeping buddy, my son still loves his mobile, and his dreamscape from LeapFrog. It took my son about 3 night till he would go to sleep with only crying for about 10-15 min. Once I found out he liked the pacifier there is no crying. If he loses his pacifier outside of the crib then he will fuss till I get it for him or when he has seperation anxiety. But I just work through it. I hope this helps. Let me know if you have any more questions. The earlier you start the better.

My daughter was the same way, she would sleep for three to four hours at a time, It was frustrating at times but I was against her crying it out, I figured I am not working and stay at home so I had all the time to wait until she is good and ready to take long hours. about a month ago she was almost 11 months she just went out at 6 p.m like she usually do and woke up at 8 p.m, she wouldnt go back to sleep so I let her run around for awhile till she was tired, at 10 p.m she was good and ready to go back to sleep, suprisingly she slept until 7 the following morning, now she has been sleeping like that every night, she goes to sleep at 10 and wakes up at 7.. To me it's all up to the baby, eventually that little mechanism will trigger and she will sleep through the night on her own..

You could try giving her some Chamomile tea about 15-20 min before you try and put her down... not a whole cup or anything, just a teaspoon. Make a whole cup and drink the rest yourself. It is easy to get babies to take it with a medicine dropper. If the tea is not working you can also try boiling lettuce and giving her a bit of the water from that. (I have NO idea why that works but it seems to). If you are breast feeding try changing your diet a bit to see if she sleeps better, and if you are using formula you could try switching brands or try using soy base stuff. As for the lack of sleep, that is one lesson that we have all learned from our kids... You can't die from not sleeping enough, you just sometimes feel like you want to *smile*.

You are a wonderful mother... Keep up the good work!

Is there a reason you don't want to co-sleep? My husband and I co-slept with both of my boys they now sleep on their own in their room. I loved having them next to me in the bed, plus it made it easier to breastfeed. I know some people just dont want to co-sleep, but I say don't force it. I just couldnt bare the thought of letting my little ones cry it out, it literally made me sick to hear them crying in such distress. I know folks say they'll be spoiled but I have to disagree. It is a little harder on you as a mom to have to lay down with your kids for naps etc.. especially when you have other things to do like working from home etc... I was in that situation, but when I found myself getting worked up behind it or overwhelmed I just reminded myself its only a few minutes out of my day and told myself this too shall pass....and now it has. Do what you feel in your gut and heart, it'll work out and each child is so different from the next.

HI Missty,

Sounds like you have already gotten a ton of good advice, but my son is doing the same thing. Finally started sleeping a little better, then all of a sudden he started waking up every hour again. took me a few days to realize there was a little tooth coming in. I have started co-sleeping with him again, which actually is not my favorite thing to do, but he really loves the comfort. Sometimes I will actually nurse him to sleep in my bed and then sneak out and sleep on the couch myself just so that I get more rest and dont wake him by moving around! He sleeps so much better in my bed than the crib. ANyhow..... I finally gave him a little baby tylenol before bed and it seemed to help him sleep alot more soundly. Also, I think someone reccomended giving you r baby chamomile tea, and I have found that if I drink the tea and then nurse it seems to settle my son down quite a bit as well. Anyhow.... tylenol , chamomile tea, and temporarily co-sleeping have at least helped me get some sleep during the teething. oh, and i don't know if your daughter falls asleep in the car, but if she is that sleep deprived, take her for a drive, even if it's around in circles and then let her sleep in the carseat set in her crib. i have had to resort to that. good luck! and let ME know if you find anything that works better!
M.