6 Year Old Stepdaughter Still Needs Pull Ups at Bedtime! Why!

Updated on February 27, 2008
C.S. asks from McHenry, IL
8 answers

This is a sensitive subject, and I do have empathy if she really can't help it, but at 6 years old, this seems odd. I personally feel that this is ridiculous. Believe me I never let her know that I'm ashamed. I never say anything but try to support her so that she doesn't feel bad about herself. She has other siblings including my 6 year old son who hasn't needed pull ups, since he was like 3.and I know some kids need them longer but clearly this has to be a sign of something at age 6. Anyone going through this? She is my stepdaughter I've been with her dad since she was 18 months, so it's not a new thing. please help with any info

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T.S.

answers from Chicago on

Is she using them for #1 or #2? If it's #1, there are many circumstances where this is "normal" and her bladder may still be developing. OR she is such a heavy sleeper, she doesn't wake up. I worry about this with my 2 1/2 yr old son as he is a VERY heavy sleeper. (The boy falls out of bed and doesn't wake up!)

If she's going #2 in her pants/pull ups I would just make a phone call to the doctor to see if there is anything to be concerned about.

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C.M.

answers from Decatur on

Wow..well, first thing first..I am just thinking about my kids (all potty trained totally by 3 or so) and myself, who was forced to train early and wet the bed till i was older. Does she go all day in the potty by herself? Does she have to be reminded during the day to keep her dry? Was she "trained" too early or is her mother maybe not as good at home about refusing her liquids after supper? You have to have total cooperation of course. All i know is take her right after supper, make sure she goes. Take her again at bedtime. Make sure the pullups arent a psychological thing, that she knows they are on, so she does wet. I think this one will require some major scheduling of potty times and complete cooperation between ex spouses, i hope you can get that. It is half the battle-keeping everyone on the same schedule... I dont know why i finally stopped. I know i used to wet the bed every once in a while when i was even 10 or 12, but after probably sixth grade i did not. I was an abused child, though, so that is why. My potty training wasnt the most wonderful experience I ever had. Good luck!

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D.X.

answers from Chicago on

My father wet the bed until he was 13. Like the other posters have said, there is usually nothing wrong, and kids eventually grow out of it.

My father found out many years later, that HIS father was a bedwetter! And now I have a son who is almost 5, that soaks his diaper every night, yet he has been potty trained since he was 3. Supposedly, it runs in families. One thing my father said is to never shame a child for doing it. It's not like they do it on purpose. You are doing the right thing by not making your stepdaughter feel bad about it. Most likely, she just cannot help herself.

Actually, if you research bedwetting, it's really not even considered bedwetting until after age 7 (if my memory serves me correctly).

You sound like a great stepmom for being so concerned :-)

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Some children take longer to get thru the night. there are things you can do to help. When our boys were first potty trained We would get them up several times a night. (it helps reinforce the using the bathroom when your bladders full thing) then as they got older we did it less. A suggestiong is to have nothing to drink after perhaps 7pm. a snack at bedtime does not need to be filled with liquid. make sure she goes to the bathroom. then get her up to pee when you are going to bed and again at about 3am. then again when you get up inthe morning. a pain doing it so many times yes. but she needs to make her body aware that she needs to pee. also have you done the award thing when she has a dry pull up in the morning? maybe after a week she gets to pick a show to watch or a sticker etc? good luck with it
S.

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T.D.

answers from Chicago on

Hi C.,
I was also in that situation myself. I am now 40 and for me it was something medically wrong thank god that my parents didn't get on me but they waited to late to take me to the doctor at 15. Get this child checked first and if it continue then eventually she will grow out. I am fine now but I remember something about a cycst on or near the bladder.

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S.B.

answers from Chicago on

Hi C.! My middle daughter is 9 1/2 and she still has to wear pull ups to bed. She wets on more occasions then not. Right now, we are going to be having a meeting at her school to get her evaluated by an OT. I am, I should say we are tihnking that she might have sensory integration by some of the things she does. She has been just approved for the 504 plan, because she does not have good fine motor skills you cant read her writing etc and the isat is coming up next week for her. So she is allowed to do her work on the pc at school and if needed at home too. And, she will get a scribe for the ISAT too. I know this does not have anything to do with her needing pull ups, but just something else. We have tried, and tried and tried to get her to be able to tie her shoes and still still cant, but she can read at a high school level, gets all As and Bs and reads 196 WPM. It is so strange how that works. Anyhow, we cut out her liquid she drinks close to bedtime and nothing has ever helped her. i know I wet the bed till I was about 11. I am going to have the dr maybe look into giving her some meds for this that I have heard of to try or something. There is an alarm thing, but you know, she sleeps so soundly that I dont think it would even wake her at all. I dont know. I hope that you resolve this and you know, it is not as uncommon as alot of people think. That is for sure. Take care and good luck.

S. Bailey CLD
Aurora
www.tendermomentsdoula.com

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C.D.

answers from Chicago on

My son is 5, and has been day time potty trained since he was 3. At night, he can't even wear pull ups because he fills them so much. He wears size 7 diapers. Anyway, my pediatrician told me it is not considered a developmental delay to not be night trained until they are 7. Their bodies are still growing, so maybe she just needs more time. I would discuss it with your pediatrician and get a game plan together for your daughter. Are you willing to try medication? Have you tried getting her up at certain times at night? Many options to consider.

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S.W.

answers from Chicago on

My son will be 12 in April and he still has issues at bedtime. This is not unusual and some children's bladders do not grow as fast as their body. Also their brains and bladder are not working together as they should. I would not be concerned as of yet. I have been to the urologist, tried medicine and nothing seems to work. Dr. syas he should grow out of it. I hope so. If you are concerned go see a doctor and they can make sure there is nothing medically wrong.

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