6 Year Old Never Happy with Anything.... Approach???

Sounds totally normal, my kids will do same thing especially when tired.

Something we've tried that has helped is "ok, I guess we won't ever go to that amusement park again because you had such a terrible time. You're right, it was awful!" .... And so on. Then my kids usually fall all over themselves to convince me that actually they might have had a little fun, and we should go again someday.

My 5 year old daughter is very dramatic, and prone to say she is having the worst day ever when one little thing goes wrong. Sometimes I'll put on my acting cap and commiserate... " Oh no, that was terrible, awful, whole day is ruined now, nothing could make day better, even if something wonderful like x happened..." and even fake cry & wail. I can't say it always works, but half the time my daughter gets really into exaggerating & drama & gets it out of her system. Or gets distracted by thoughts of x, whatever that may be. (ice cream, fun game, etc).

My seven year old responds to logic better. When something goes wrong I ask him to rate it on a scale of 1-10, 10 being worst thing he can think of. Usually he'll admit it isn't as bad as he initially thought and calm down a little.

Good luck!

I agree with Kerstin.

My daughter was this way for a long time. She had some crazy critical thinking abilities when she was that age.... so I had to approach things much more logically with her, because even though she would come at me with what SEEMED like emotion, I would combat it with logic - and most of the time I could do it pre-emptively.

So, Ok we're going to dinner. How many things will happen at dinner? 20? what are they (let him list them off..... get in the car on time, drive to dinner, find a parking spot, get a table, decide what to eat etc etc etc).......
I know you get frustrated when something goes wrong. But lots of times things can go wrong. How many things out of 20 would need to go wrong before it ruins your dinner? I would literally let her pick a number. and *most of the time* she would pick high..... ok, 15 things have to go wrong before it ruins dinner.

So, then if she freaked out about one thing..... I just reminded her that it was only 1 thing. 14 MORE had to go wrong before his time was ruined.

Incidentally...... I have seen a correlation between kids who are this way will ALSO be hyper sensitive to *failure* and not want to practice things, because they want to be *perfect* on the first try. you'll see this in 1st or 2nd grade. So the other thing I did was to give her times she HAD to fail at something before she could quit or get mad. You have to do it "wrong" 5 times. You have to re-write the paper three times before you turn it in.

It helped her to back away from the all-or-nothing view she had.

That seemed to help.

My youngest is a glass half empty person. An approach I have used to shift this negative response for her is to say, "we are going to work on/ help your learn how to have more thoughts that make you feel better. It is a skill to have these kinds of thoughts, like learning to read, ride a back. We need to learn how to have thoughts that make us feel good verses having thoughts that make us upset.". Smetimes I make up scenarios and ask her to come up with some neg and some postive thoughts about them. We practice this game as a family. We talk a lot about how the thoughts we
have are often a choice. When she is in an upset mood, it gives me a
chance to encourage her to pick the good ones. it has taken practice but
she has gotten a lot better at looking at the upside of things. ". Keep any of
these talks brief otherwise he will tune you out. Try to make it fun and
pressure free. My daughter and I came up with a superhero who knocks
out the negative thoughts from her brain. It is a skill that he can learn if
given the tools. One last thought, another angle we have taken is talking a lot about being kind and being considerate of others feelings. I will say to
her, I know you are upset, but right now it is not about you. Grandma took
you to this play park. It will hurt her feelings if you get all upset. Right
now it is about Grandma and her feelings not your feelings so you need
to let it go for Grandma. Also, volunteering for disadvantaged people can help kids get more perspective on how blessed they truly are. We serve dinner at a homeless shelter a couple times a month and it has helped her appreciate what she really has. Good luck!

There are a couple of things I have done with mine in the past. One is the sarcasm route:
"oh.. man. You are RIGHT. It was AWFUL! That roller coaster was the worst one I've EVER been on. Next time we start talking about coming to an amusement park, somebody PLEASE remind me that we'd bet happier if we just stay at home instead!"

Then there is the: "Well, I'm sorry you hated it so much. The rest of us had fun. Maybe next time we should leave you at home."

Neither works instantly, but they get the point across, and amazingly, we don't hear those comments or "fits" near so much anymore.

My son was like that for a while. I told him I really did not care if he had fun or not that all the rest of us did and if he didn't stop he was going to get his little booty spanked if he was throwing a fit. I let him know his actions would not be tolerated. Tell him next family outing he can stay behind. Not just when he says he doesn't want to do it ahead of time. It's a control thing with kids. And I let my son know if he was going to throw a fit it better be in his room cause I didn't want to see or hear it.

Good luck and God Bless!!!

He may be clinically depressed. Our son was at a young age. It really can happen with kids. All the talks in the world won't change things if it is. I highly recommend starting with the pediatrician for advice.

Back to Basics Discipline by Janet Campbell Matson is awesome at this age for respect and gratitude. All the nice stuff in the world will be taken for granted if the negativity is allowed to fester. His consequences are not adequately off-putting if he feels fine to continue the behavior.

He needs to be treated with respect and kindness at all times like anyone else, and then when he behaves like that (unless there is a valid reason that he needs sympathy), his world needs to stop, a warning must be given, and if he keeps it up one more second SERIOUS and IMMEDIATE consequences need to happen, enough so that he thinks twice before doing it again and gets completely out of the habit of trying to act that way. He is old enough to be disciplined after the fact if you are in public and cannot act right away (my 4 year old has had that happen a few times). That really makes an impact the next time you give an advance warning of expectation. This behavior is pretty normal for kids who are getting away with it, and it takes CONSISTENCY to really drive the point home. I think it's great you are addressing it, you just may need to toughen up. He needs a calm warning (just one and NO YELLING) of something very firm in the moment to create and instant decision to drop the attitude.

Long drawn out things like missing activities and getting ignored are too mild and tedious and give power to the child for "making people angry for that long". I would keep calm, issue a warning, do something much firmer up front, and then tack on some hard work (sweat equity) to the back end..specifics in the book.

We've got three very gracious, happy kids who know not to complain etc, but we have had to discipline complaining, whining, being ungrateful very firmly until they realized it would never be acceptable (quick because we were absolutely consistent). It's normal! (your three year old probably won't be happy with everything forever either-hello age 5 and six :-0) You can fix this.

Keep talking to a minimum. Anything past "Cut the attitude" followed by immediate action is pretty much considered nagging and meaningless by boys that age. You can talk to him about respect and proper behavior in the big picture at other times when discipline isn't being implemented. That's when he'll be more receptive tot he message. But he'll still need discipline if he's red-blooded :)

It sounds more "primitive" than talking everything through and explaining things all the time, but for real, when you nip the wrong behavior, kids naturally fill it in with the right behavior, they don't need THAT much coaching. Mine don't. The typical progression is 1) meaningless melt- down or moping starts 2 )warning is given 3) behavior halts, child mellows out, and about two minutes later is laughing with siblings or we've turned it into a joke. The only time this isn't the progression is when excessive fatigue or pending illness are at play and the child doesn't feel good. At which time we give comfort and leave it alone-but all our kids have been nipped of dramatic blow ups, so quietly worn-out kids are not hard to deal with. They usually just go to sleep in the car or whatever.

My daughter's 6, almost 7 and yes she has done this too. I like to think she's getting better. I think its a phase and I'd take some of the suggestions the other posters have mentioned.

I remember one time when my daughter did not want to leave her friends house she went into a tyrant that lead to her telling me we never buy her anything and etc etc...I then gently reminded her of the movie we had bought a couple weeks ago...to which she got silent...thought...and said "Oh yes, that's right you did, I'm sorry mom" And her attitude totally flipped around, I was actually in shock by it....and must be why I still remember it. Come to think about it...she hasn't been too bad lately. (Her sister on the other hand who is almost 5 seems to be starting her own version of this) Just stay patient, calm and give it time to change.

Oh my goodness...sounds like my son!!! He is now 8 & its still happening. I dont understand it at all. He is getting a little better because lately I just tell him " Im sorry I understand you are upset" or whatever the case may be & then we move on. I dont have any great advise but wanted you to know that you are not alone. And maybe if you try to do the opposite of what you have been doing maybe that will work?? Dont have the talks/discussions. Remember "Reinforced behavior is repeated behavior" So maybe let him feel, or say what he wants & he will stop. I hope this works for me too :) Good luck

He's going through a phase.
It is a life lesson. He has not "mastered" that yet.
He is 6.

Tell him, teach him... that everyone gets disappointed. BUT there are many ways to handle it. And it does not mean, making everyone else, miserable.

He needs to attain "coping skills" for disappointments and frustrations. He does not have coping-skills. Yet.
This is taught... and learned. It is a "skill" to acquire.
Instead of crying or mouthing off about it or any disappointment, teach him other ways to "cope."
There are many ways... to cope. There are many ways... to deal with things. Have HIM, come up with some ideas. And list it on a paper. Then tack it up on the wall. For him to "practice."
And try role-playing it with him. He needs practice.

Or, if he still wants to sulk, he can do it by himself, in his room. Then once he deflates, he can come out.

This is about him, having to learn "Coping-Skills" for disappointments and frustrations. A child, does not have this capability, automatically.

Also teach him, that his reaction to things, is a CHOICE. Of which, HE can have control over it. Too. By the way he chooses to cope with it. In a positive way.

I think it's the age... DD occasionally pulls the "I'm never doing such & thus again", or "I had a bad day" if one little thing goes wrong.

I think you're giving it too much attention, because, IMO it's just another way to get attention or a rise of you. I think if you don't even acknowledge the negativity, he will eventually figure it out & stop it.

I think you are taking it too seriously. When he complains about something not going well you should just casually reply, "yup, life sucks," (or something to that effect, depending on how you talk to your child.)

If he is being outright rude, on the other hand, just give him a consequence that means something to him.

Unfortunately for him, he may just have a bit of a "glass half empty" personality, and that will be his problem to solve as he lives his life.

Meanwhile, don't let his choice of perspective ruin things for everyone else, just ignore the bad moods and give him consequences for outright rude behavior.

I'm going to get burned at the stake for this by some.....but...

It sounds like an attention thing....so make fun of him. Give him that attention.

My 6 year old pulled that when we took him to LegoLand for his birthday. "You've ruined my entire day." I gave it right back to him. Crossed my arms. Said a bunch of mean things about how he's ruined my entire life. I may have ruined his WHOLE day, but he's ruined my ENTIRE life. I wish we had never come here to celebrate his 6th birthday. After a while, he starting laughing....this was after even more grumping and angry almost muffled screaming to show me his dissatisfaction, which i told him that he'd be punished for (muffled) screaming.

Tell him how bad that attribute is. Tell him it can ruin relationships - no friends. Lose a job, and then maybe no one will hire him and he'll be living under the freeway in a cardboard box. No car. No vacations. No fun.

Also tell him that life happens. Things go wrong, but it's how you deal with it.

You totally described my son (and my husband!). It's funny that my husband gives my son a hard time when he does this but he acts the same way. I think it's part age and personality trait. I think they are a little bit perfectionists and have a hard time when things are not perfect (in their minds). My son is 9 now and it's a little better. He gets over the disappointments a little faster now and doesn't complain as much. But I found that just ignoring it works the best - but I do tell him not to be nasty or rude to people. Aside from that I've decided that I'm not going to punish my son for his feeling or opinion - even if he's being irrational. And eventually he gets over it. He pulled this at Legoland with his cousins when he couldn't go on a ride he wanted to go on due to the long line. I dragged him around and let him pout and he got over it and wound up having a good time. My husband would have left immediately and made an issue out of it because the day was ruined by my son's behavior. I think your son will outgrow this but at the same time you have to try to ignore it and have a good time despite his behavior. Hope this helps.

This may be way out, but I am going to mention it. Our son is also sensitive, artistic intelligent. However, there seems to be no end of day or transition within a day that goes smoothly. It seems that no matter how much fun we are having, everything ends up with anger, a bad mood or his brother getting hurt. I have found myself over the years doing less and less with friends because of this, and I finally recently decided to get some advice from a professional. Well- after about an hour of questions she mentioned looking up sensory integration disorder. It appears that there are children (mostly sensitive types) whose brains integrate/process their experiences differently than others. This can lead to either sensory seeking behavior (not being able to stop getting sensory input) or sensory avoiding behavior (needing less sensory input). We have not had him neurologically evaluated yet, so we don't know if this is what is going on with our son. However, it has given me more compassion in dealing with him and made me want to look into how to help him, rather than just wanting his behavior to change. I haven't learned any techniques to deal with this, but maybe looking into this could help him deal with transitioning out of an activity or dealing with disappointment. All the best.