6 Month Old Always Fussy with Daddy

Updated on September 11, 2007
E.O. asks from Lansing, MI
6 answers

I have a 6 month old who is always fussy with Daddy. We work opposite shifts so she goes to daycare in the mornings and he picks her up at noon. She doesn't eat very well for him and cries a lot if he pus her down. He is at his wits end and doesn't know what to do. I don't have any answers because she is fine with me in the evenings. I tend to do most of the care on the weekend, just because it's easier and she doesn't give me a hard time. She also doesn't like it when I put her down either, but doesn't seem to give me as much of a problem. We also have a 5yr old, so this isn't our first child. We had the same arrangement for our 5yr old when she was a baby and she did fine with Daddy. The only thing I can think of for a explanation is that our 2nd child was born 6 wks early and spent a week in the NICU. I was able to be up at the hospital more than Daddy was (he was driving our 5 yr old where she needed to be) and maybe that is why she prefers me so much more? Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I feel so awful for my husband. I can tell it is wearing on him.

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C.L.

answers from Saginaw on

I would let him take the reins on the weekend and see if he is doing something different than you are. It will also give her more adjustment time to him. It may also just be a phase. They switch things up pretty fast when they are growing.
C.

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L.N.

answers from Benton Harbor on

Hi E.~
We went thru this for a little while, then we figured out that it wasn't who he was with, but that he needed a nap for about 45 min. in the evening to make it til bedtime in a good mood. Good luck!
~L.

PS I was reading the other replies and had to add...don't ever feel guilty for using your sitter for a break! After all, she's getting paid to watch them, you two aren't. A couple hours a week to just relax might be just the thing!!

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B.W.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Does he feel nervouse with her? She maybe sensing that. It is normal for most babies to have a specific time of day they get fussy, maybe he pulled the "short stick."
You could try leaving her at the sitter for longer a few days a week to give him a break...

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R.K.

answers from Detroit on

I have heard of 1 mom who had her husband change deoderant/cologne and that helped her child bond with the dad. It could be something as simple/odd as that...or it could just be that she prefers you. Try having him handle her on the weekends when you're there or in the next room and see if that helps. I know my daughter tends to "prefer" me for some things since I'm home with her more...but she still loves her daddy and enjoys time with him...but certain times she just is done playing with him and comes to find me and follows me around. She might just need to learn its ok to be with daddy and that might just take time and growing up. Good luck!!

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J.S.

answers from Lansing on

Poor Dad - my husband went through the same thing too. He watched our daughter during her fussy time but was able to come up with some strategies of his own to get her to calm down and nap, eat, etc. I agree with some of the responses that you should try letting him do this on the weekend and just observe your daughter's responses to him. I also like the idea of a sitter to give him a break once in a while - fussy babies can be taxing! Good luck to you and to dad.

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C.S.

answers from Detroit on

Is it possible it's not him at all, maybe that's just her fussy time of day and he gets to deal with it? Has she always been like this for him or just recently? It could be a phase she's going through. Maybe she needs to take a nap right after he picks her up. Just a few ideas, hope it helps.

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