5 Month Old Will ONLY Nurse down to Sleep!

Updated on June 05, 2008
D.F. asks from Phoenix, AZ
25 answers

My daughter LOVES to nurse. And has always been a good nurser. Great, right? Well, that is until my mom or husband tries to put her down for a nap or to bed. She's never been much of a sleeper, so it's hard enough to get her to sleep in the first place. Any suggestions on how to get her to sleep without nursing or a bottle? She is not a cuddler, either. I've heard about baths, rocking, singing, etc...nothing calms her down to sleep except nursing. Also, at this age, can she have an ounce or two of water from a bottle?? She's still exclusivley breast fed/breast milk from bottle.

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So What Happened?

Well, the problem is when I am NOT home. That's really what I need help with. I don't mind nursing her to sleep. But my mom and husband can't do that! =)
I guess we'll just try the 'routine before bed' thing and see what happens. Maybe she'll learn to like to be rocked ?!? *grins*
Thanks everyone!

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S.C.

answers from Denver on

Okay, this is not the easiest thing in the world to do but it worked for my son. He likes me to put him in his infant car seat and bundle him in his blankets (if it's too warm I use the cozy cover because it lets air in but still makes him feel snug) and walk him around the house. The swaying/walking motion almost always puts him to sleep. Also, he likes the cozy cover or blankets to cover his forhead and eyes.

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N.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Have you tried a binky?

She's old enough that nipple confusion won't be an issue. Some babies won't take binkies...but if she'll take it, sleep time will be A LOT easier.

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H.G.

answers from Denver on

Devon,

I would recommend a comfy baby carrier that Dad or Grandma can wear to lull her to sleep. The movement of their rocking will help her drift off to sleep. I personally love the Wrap style of carrier (I use a Moby Wrap.)

My daughter is 14 months and nurses to sleep- there are only rare occasions that I wish she didn't have to. But she will fall asleep with my husband if he wraps her up (in a baby carrier) and takes her for a walk.

Oh, and yes, it is okay for her to have some water- especially with the warmer weather.

Good Luck!
H. Gaitten
www.naturalchoices4baby.com

1 mom found this helpful
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J.P.

answers from Casper on

Hi. She is ONLY 5 months old. All babies are different. I would say NO to water in her bottle to supplement the other liquid because if she is exclusive to milk/bottle you do not want to take away any nutrients she is already getting.
When she is tired enough, she will sleep.

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T.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I have enjoyed nursing my baby to sleep, but it does creat a bit of a problem when I'm not home. My husband has been able to occassionally prepare him for sleep by rocking him. We also have a lady that comes 3 days a week for 3 hours to teach and care for the children. If I'm here, I still nurse him to sleep. If I'm not here, Paola rocks him and lays him down, and if he needs to cry for 10 minutes and then be soothed, he doesn't usually continue protesting. It might seem hard to remember all the time, but nursing a baby in general, and nursing a baby to sleep is soooooooo sweet. This won't last forever, I will miss it someday.

Good luck!

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P.W.

answers from Provo on

I'm also having napping troubles, but as far as nursing to sleep, what I've been doing is nursing my son a bit earlier, so he's not quite so tired while eating, then reading him a story and playing music and putting him down and letting him cry it out. After being consistent for a week, and not picking him up, but going in to comfort him, he will sleep in his crib, and go to sleep in 5-15 minutes.

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T.B.

answers from Great Falls on

Hi,
My four month old daughter also LOVES to nurse, and to get her down for a nap I put her in the nursing position and give her a pacifier...puts her to sleep instantly!
And also, my doctor told me it is perfectly fine to give them some water with a little sugar in it once in a while!
Good Luck!

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K.B.

answers from Pocatello on

Some of the other comments have said she is still too young for the cry-it-out method. That's not true. Actually the books say between 4-6 months is the best time to try the extinction (cry it out) method. It's hard, but usually doesn't take more than a week. I also like the comment of making nursing an earlier part of the bedtime routine. That seemed to work for our 3-month-old boy. Also, you could try water at this point. Some doctors say no, but others (mine included) actually recommend it. Good luck! I know it's flattering to think your baby is so attached to you, but also exhausting.

A.G.

answers from Pocatello on

I know that it's hard when the only way to get your baby to sleep is if they nurse but that's probably what you are going to have to keep doing for a while. Your baby is only 5 months so she is still pretty young. You can try a bedtime routine to help her fall alseep but at this age she still needs that comfort. And as for giving her a bottle instead that's just starting a whole other habbit. Try to be patient and as she gets older you can try to wean her from nurseing to sleep. Like I said she is young and is even still too young for the cry it out methond. so hang in there. And look on the bright side at least you can get her to sleep.

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B.C.

answers from Billings on

I don't have exactly the same problem as you, but my 5 1/2 month old wakes 2 or 3 times a night and I have to nurse him back to sleep then. During the day, he will go down for naps with rocking by us, or at the daycare, he just zonks out when he's tired.
I'm not sure if I have any tips to help you. I just wanted to let you know that I have read a ton of stuff from the internet about my situation and the stuff that makes the most sense to me is that some babies just need more attention from their parents (usually us mommies with the food) to get to sleep. I have found a lot of people that talk about the cry it out method, but it goes against every fiber of my being to let him cry when it doesn't take much to comfort him. Plus, he works himself into hysterics if we leave him. No amount of patting, humming, etc. will calm him. And I don't want that to be the way he falls asleep. Ever.
I have just decided to take on the attitude that this will soon pass and I know I will one day miss this moment in our lives.

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E.B.

answers from Provo on

Hi! My little one (who is 2 now) nursed to sleep and always had problems going to sleep without that. I read the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". I don't remember who it is by off the top of head, but it had a lot of good advice. One of the big things is to start nursing him almost to sleep, just until she's drowsy and then put her down in the crib and let her do the rest. You also might want to think about pumping and use the breastmilk for when your mom and husband put her down. The quicker she learns to put her self to sleep, the better. I learned the hard way and had a LOT of stressful days and nights with little to no sleep or down time. Check out the book. I know a lot of mom's that swear by it. I didn't agree with everything in the book so just take what you think will work for you. Good luck and hope this helps!

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K.B.

answers from Provo on

She can have water but why encourage a bad habit of nursing/drinking while going to sleep? Have you tried swaddling, even if it didn't work before? I had to go back to swaddling my little guy and it had to be really tight and it worked wonders!
K.

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J.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Here's the deal. There is no problem nursing your baby to sleep as long as you don't mind doing it every time and having some hurdles down the road getting your child to learn to go to sleep on her own some day. I have known several moms that did that & it worked very well for them. That was not okay for me as I wanted my kids to be able to go to sleep by themselves from an early age. Everyone has different styles. All of us get used to patterns in sleeping - for instance - you may have trouble getting to sleep & staying asleep all night if you have a different pillow, different bed, different light, etc. than usual. Kids are no different. By 5 months old, they start becoming more aware & get into sleep routines & habits. If you nurse your child to sleep, there's a good chance they will need that to get back to sleep every time they wake in the night and every time they go to bed. When you're not around, that it going to cause problems for whomever is trying to put her to bed. Your best bet if you want to continue nursing her to sleep is to try to have your sitter duplicate the nursing process as closely as possible - whether that's with a pumped bottle of milk, water (which is fine, but not necessarily recommended before 6 mo.) or whatever. Or you can plan to be home with her every time she goes to sleep. Or you can train her soothe herself to sleep without nursing. At 5 months that is definitely a possibility. There are several ways to do that - I love the Ferber method - let them cry for a couple of minutes, return & soothe them without picking them up, leave again even if they're still crying and stay away for an additional couple of minutes each interval. They know you are near & don't think they've been abandoned & they eventually give up crying because they know you will come back - it's just not worth crying for a longer period of time. It's tough for the first couple of days & then it gets much better very quickly. Within 3-4 days, all 3 of my kids were puting themselves to sleep & staying asleep all night. But again, that's just an option if you want to teach your baby to go to sleep by herself. Nothing wrong with nursing her to sleep if it works for everyone. Just be aware that for most kids, it gets harder to break that cycle & teach them to go to sleep by themselves the older they get. I wish you the best!

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K.T.

answers from Provo on

It's okay to give them alittle water in a bottlea at that age. My baby is Four and a half months old and she takes it just fine. Also , yeah, try a binky. If she'll take it it'll make things so easy.

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M.T.

answers from Denver on

Can I ask why you are against nursing her down? If it is for your sanity that is one thing, if it is because you have heard or read that you shouldn't, then ignore all that advice. Do what is right for your daughter. Not all kids need this, or want this, but it sounds like your daughter does.

I nursed my son down every night, and if I was out my husband or my mother bottled feed him. Sometimes it was more than I wanted to do every night but as the months passed I decided to go with it and enjoy it. Why not nurse her down if that is what she enjoys. What a great way to drift off to sleep!

As my son neared his first birthday, I would nurse him and he would begin to stay awake and I could lay him down in his crib stay in the room reading and he would drift off to sleep. Now he is 14 months old and he is no longer nursing. I am able to read to him, lay him down and still stay in the room as he falls asleep. Your daughter will make the change when she is ready.

My son also was nursed down for naps or walked in the stroller. Do what works for you and your daughter.

M.

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S.M.

answers from Denver on

I have a five month old. You can definetly start giving her water from a bottle. Our pediatrician recomended no more than 2 ounces a day (we live in a dry, arid climate).

My babe also loves to be nursed to sleep. When my husband puts him down to sleep he feeds him a bottle (this does not put him to sleep, rather soothes him) and then lays him in the bed (our babe co-sleeps). Our little guy just hangs out for awhile, we leave him alone in the room with a machine that projects stars (twilight turtle) onto the ceiling so he is amused by the indoor night sky. He usually talks/sings to himself and in about 10 min falls asleep. If he cries we definetly go check in with him, but this rarely happens. He just watches the stars until he falls asleep. The stars (or something to entertain/distract) are key.

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R.M.

answers from Denver on

You either have to be tough and let her cry and comfort herself to sleep

remember it is a learning process and if you decide to try something you need to be strong and be consistant. Give it at least 2-4 days and honestly i don't think it should take longer that 48 hours. Try a distraction like music up kinda loud or movie. My babies loved the barney or teletubbies. Even the bottle with water is fine. Remember that she is yours and if you want to try something it is ok and that is how you learn to be the kingd of mom you need to be for you. Also try spoon feeding her before bedtime and naptime this way her tummy is full and feels satisfied.

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A.S.

answers from Denver on

I remember sometimes being frustrated that my LO would only go to sleep when nursing...until she decided she didn't want to nurse to sleep any longer! After that, trying to get her down each night really difficult. Then I wished she would nurse to sleep again! I know it is frustrating right now, especially when you can't get anyone else to help with bedtime. It will get better though. Eventually she will find other ways to fall asleep. I wouldn't worry about spoiling her though. I would just treasure the fact that you have this special way of helping her fall asleep (and a fast way at that!)
Also, if you haven't started one already, I would start introducing a bedtime routine (bath, jammies, books, etc) so that she begins to know what to expect each night and understands when "sleepytime" is. This will really help when she is no longer nursing to sleep.

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S.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding until six months of age, and you're right on the cusp of that. Water wouldn't be bad, exactly--it's hardly an allergen-- but it wouldn't offer her any nutrition or calories to help her sleep better, either.
Five-six months in a growth spurt time. I'd be willing to bet his problem will disappear over the next couple months and you'll have a new adventure. ;) My husband always took out the vaccuum cleaner and baby sling and would "wear" the baby while he vaccuumed the living room to get the baby to sleep. The motiuon and white noise knocked Baby out, and the vaccuuming gave my hubby something to do besides feel annoyed. I liked coming home to a clean living room and a sleeping baby, even if the baby woke up an hour later to nurse again. My husband also would sometimes take a drive to get a dink (like a milkshake, even when he felt like having a martini, ha!) and Baby would fall asleep in the car.
Congratulations on your home birth! Have you considered going to a La Leche League meeting? It's a fun place to meet other nursing mamas and they might have more supportive tales from the trenches and insights to help your survive this stage. Good luck!

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S.G.

answers from Great Falls on

My son has this problem sometimes. We started letting him cry it out. Start with short periods of time - it is hard at first - mostly on you to have to listen to it. I put him in his crib, turned on some music, patted his bottom and hummed for a minute or so, then quickly and quietly left the room. When he started to cry I would go to the door and listen to make sure he is ok. In the beginning I would let him cry for a few minutes - (about 3) and just keep listening to the cry. If the cry gets to hysterics I would go in an try to sooth him again, rocking for a minute, then put him back down again. Now I give him up to 5 minutes to cry it out. By the end of that time he is usually asleep, or playing with his feet in the crib, and then falls asleep a little later. You just need to be mentally ready to let the baby cry - just for a few minutes.

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C.E.

answers from Provo on

you could try giving her one of your shirts with your scent on it as a blankie to sleep with. it has worked for me before. for a long time my first baby couldn't sleep unless just fed. and in the beginning, he would often fall asleep nursing before he got enough milk in his belly, so he'd wake up shortly afterward because he was still hungry. even now at 4 yrs old, it's important to him to have a snack before bed (his favorite is a cup of milk). so i don't see any problem with your daughter needing to eat to sleep. she will eventually learn other forms of comfort and be able to sleep on her own. i found that my kids are comforted by different things from each parent. maybe it's more the consistency that matters. for instance my second baby would only go back to sleep at night for me if i nursed him or turned on music for him. but my husband could just pat his bottom for a couple minutes and he'd go back to sleep. i tried the bottom patting and he didn't respond the same for me. so i think that maybe if your husband finds a way to comfort that works, if he sticks with it she will be comforted by the consistency. as far as drinking water, doctors have always told me it's not necessary unless the baby is dehydrated from illness. i've always been told it's better to fill them with something that has nutrients. they usually get enough hydration just from the milk/formula. good luck!

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L.C.

answers from Pocatello on

Hi Devon - your daughter is only five months old??? It's no big deal. I have eight children and each one was so different and unique. Some wanted to nurse to sleep, some didn't. Plus it won't last forever - enjoy it. Debbie

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M.W.

answers from Boise on

My first baby was the same way! (She was not a self-soother, while my other babies all found fingers or thumb to suck.) I learned to adjust to her needs and not worry so much about "training" her to sleep on her own until she was a toddler. She simply wanted me and the comfort of nursing, and I accepted that. Some people will tell you that you will "spoil" your baby this way, but it is not true. Some babies are just fussier, more sensitive, high-need --whatever you want to call it. The book that helped us was Dr. William Sears' "Parenting the Fussy Baby and High Need Child." My other babies were not like this at all, although they did nurse to sleep sometimes.

As for the water, she probably does not need water, but she could have it. Breastmilk would be better at this point.

(Also, kudos to you on your home birth! All four of mine have been at-home water births and have been the best experiences of my life.)

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M.O.

answers from Denver on

The best advice I got.....start a routine for everytime she goes down, and make nursing an earlier part of the routine instead of the last thing. Worked like a charm for us :) but it took about a week for her to figure it out. How is she anyway?

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C.M.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I was still nursing my babies to sleep at this young age. Is there some dire need that others need to be putting her to sleep? My major-non-cudler baby nursed until she was 2 1/2 years old - not sure when she stopped nursing to sleep (much earlier than that though). It seems they (all 8) were closer to the one year mark.
When she is a little older and more interested in her surroundings she will depend on nursing less and less. She is still very young and is still needing that routine.

By the way - my 1st home birth baby is also a Hannah!! - she reminds me often that she is my Pumpkin Pie baby - born Thanksgiving week.

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