Bedtime Suggestions Needed

It sounds like you are doing great. Putting him to bed while he's still awake is a good thing. Eventually he'll learn to fall asleep on his own so when he does wake in the middle of the night, he knows how to go back to sleep. When he wakes at night, I would try not to go in, unless he gets hysterical of course, because he may just settle himself back down and fall asleep. Sometimes when my son (14 months) wakes at night and I have to go in, I try not to pick him up. I just rub his back and he usually settles and falls back to sleep. I don't think there is anything wrong with rocking him, I just think the key is to put him down drowsy but still awake; I rock my son and sing a couple of lullabies and then put him down. Good luck!

I think you are doing the right thing. Eventually, you will not want to rock him, but you are cutting back on that. I have a bedtime song I sing to my little guy and rock him for the song (30 secs.) then set him in his crib. My husband and he have a great little routine where my husband gives Jake (good name choice) all the sweet dreams before he goes out of the room... the song and sweet dreams routine signals time for bed... Keep it up - you are doing the right stuff. Contraulations on the new one. Ours are 16 mos apart too... it's "fun"!!!

I think rocking him is ok. For your bed time routine, you might want to take "play" out. Unless he's really active after bath I would try to keep it more low key. I would say bath, books, sing him a song, then rock him to sleep, and then bed. Of course, every baby/child is different so it can be modified. He might not be sleeping well because he knows about his little brother. Some kids act like that. They want to make sure they have your attention.

I don't think your snuggling and rocking him to sleep was a mistake and I don't know that it's causing problems now. I nursed both my babies to sleep at both night-time and nap-time. My older son self-weaned in one day while we were on a short trip when he was 13 m/o, and I remember almost panicking when we got home, wondering how on earth I'd get him to go to sleep without nursing, because I'd always nursed him or he'd fallen asleep while riding in the car. I figured I'd just switch out nursing for cuddling/rocking, but he refused, so I shrugged my shoulders and said, "All right, kiddo, I guess you'll just go to your crib without anything," and I expected to hear a screaming fit, but he just calmly stayed in bed and went to sleep. My younger son, even when he was less than a year old, would sometimes nurse until he was done but not asleep, and then push me away, so I would put him in his crib and he'd fall asleep w/o a fuss.

I would bet that his waking up multiple times has nothing to do with your snuggle routine, but is probably something else - his back teeth coming in or something. Making changes to his bedtime routine is a logical thing to do, esp. with #2 coming along, when you won't be able to do the full snuggle/rocking thing so easily -- but make sure you keep snuggling and rocking him sometimes throughout the day, so that he doesn't feel replaced by the baby. The baby will be a huge adjustment for him, and your older son really is a baby in a lot of ways still. [My two are 19 mo apart, and there were times when my baby-baby would be needing my attention, while my toddler-baby would also be wanting/needing my attention, and both were crying, and I was all by myself, and I would just sit in the floor and cry with them, overwhelmed. Then a few minutes later, it would pass and everything would be okay. But a 16-m/o is still a baby in a lot of ways, so don't worry if you have to baby him sometimes.]

Your current routine, gradually changing to a new routine sounds reasonable to me. I'm terribly against "cry it out" for babies and particularly newborns -- think about it, your baby inside you has been cuddled, snuggled, and rocked 100% of his life, with his needs perfectly taken care of 100% of the time, so to suddenly go from that safe, warm, loving environment to being left alone in the crib screaming is quite a change, and I think not a good one. Anyway, no "cry it out" for babies, but for older children, I think it is okay because they have a much longer experience with your love, and are able to think and reason beyond just this present moment, and understand that "mommy still exists even if I can't see her," and are able to control their behavior more. You seem to have picked a very gentle way to transition your older baby from lots of rocking before bed to little or none, in preparation for your new baby.

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I could've written the same post a month ago!!!

My son is 11 months and we've always done bath, story with bottle, then bedtime and he's ALWAYS faught bedtime. I rocked him too and tried what you are doing, but it was always a struggle.

We have this wonderful book for him called 'I'll See You in the Morning' and one of the pages reads "I will stay and watch awhile 'till you are sound asleep". It got me thinking....hmmmm. So I started to rock him to one song for snuggle time, put him in his crib, and stay with him with my hand on his belly or letting him play with my hands. Sometimes it only takes one more song before he's asleep, sometimes 2 or 3 songs, but now he always falls asleep smiling instead of crying. Plus, I get to watch his cute little sleepy eyes slowly drift to dreamland:)

Not sure if this will work for you, but thought I'd share because bedtime in our home is waaaayyyy less draumatic now:)

Updated

I could've written the same post a month ago!!!

My son is 11 months and we've always done bath, story with bottle, then bedtime and he's ALWAYS faught bedtime. I rocked him too and tried what you are doing, but it was always a struggle.

We have this wonderful book for him called 'I'll See You in the Morning' and one of the pages reads "I will stay and watch awhile 'till you are sound asleep". It got me thinking....hmmmm. So I started to rock him to one song for snuggle time, put him in his crib, and stay with him with my hand on his belly or letting him play with my hands. Sometimes it only takes one more song before he's asleep, sometimes 2 or 3 songs, but now he always falls asleep smiling instead of crying. Plus, I get to watch his cute little sleepy eyes slowly drift to dreamland:)

Not sure if this will work for you, but thought I'd share because bedtime in our home is waaaayyyy less draumatic now:)

It sounds like you're doing all the right things. The mistake we make is in thinking that once we do the right things, the behavior will change right away, and if it doesn't, we try something else. The secret is to pick a routine, and then stick to it UNTIL it works. Always keep in mind that habits take up to a month to form, or break.