5 Month Old Will Not Sleep

Jumping up and down, cheering for the comments by Heather H!!

It would be so nice for you and baby to snuggle happily together in bed. I hope you will try it. If it doesn't work, that's okay too!
Best of luck. I hope you're getting a little sleep right now.

All children are different with the ferber method. I swear by it but it's harder for some children. If you've rocked her her whole life it will be even harder. The trick to the ferber method is to teach the child that you will NOT come just because she cries. And to let her make the decision to go to sleep on her own. I think you should try it again, even though it seems not to work. The more you do it the more she'll get the hint. Good luck. You're gonna need it.

Like others said, sounds like your baby isn't ready.

Here's some clues-

1)She was sleeping several nights a week. Now she's not. What happened? The Ferber method. Sounds like it might have really upset her (mommy is going to abandon me) and so now she's even more attached then she was. It reminds me of the way things were for months after our car accident. My girls were really traumatized and were scared to get back in the van. Well, perhaps your daughter is scared to go to bed now, and continuing to use Ferber is making it worse.

2) She is only 4 months old. My breast fed babies didn't sleep ALL night, only 5-6 hours straight- at 4 months old. There is no reason why a bottle fed baby should need any less attention. Don't worry about it until she is a year. :)

3) She is crying for many hours. IF she is actually calm and tired she will sleep. Screaming for 5 hours is torturous for her. can you imagine if your husband knew you were upset and you screamed and cried for 5 hours and he...left you alone? Did not try to make things better? How would you feel? And then suddenly he was nice and attentive and the next night he ignored you again? That would be very confusing and terribly upsetting.

4) YOU are dreading this and YOU don't think this will work. that is usually a key that it is not the right method for you and your family! I get so much parenting advice that just doesn't fit with my children or our own parenting style. When I find that I don't like it or it doesn't work for us I don't distress, just decide that it's not something for our family!

So I wish you all the best! Sleep with that baby, get her confident that she is loved, transition her to her bed. When she starts to wake, wait. if she makes little restless noises but never all in out cries then she will go back to sleep. When she starts crying get her RIGHT AWAY. Don't let her cry for a long time. Feed her, don't talk or play, and then put her back to bed. eventually these waking moments will decrease again until she gets used to sleeping for longer periods. She wakes to make sure mama is still there and hasn't abandoned her.

S., mom to 5 ages 6 and under

Hi M.!

The Ferber method is not for all babies. Some babies take longer to learn how to self-soothe - it sounds like this method did NOT work with your little one. I would HIGHLY recommend not continuing this method with her right now. Here's why:

There are some children that are much more sensitive than others and they also are delayed on self-soothing. Many babies will sleep fine for awhile and then they stop - why? Tummy trouble, teething, growth, you name it - and it upsets their sleep - so they ask for your help. She is asking for your help right now.

If you have a sensitive child that does not self-soothe completely yet, then you need to re-build her trust in night-time. Because if she already has trouble and you did the Ferber method, that made things worse - sounds like this may be what happened. So . . .

Do what she loves and needs - rock her, co-sleep with her if that comforts her, whatever will relieve her and keep things easy on you and your spouse during this time. Remember - it's temporary and she is worth it!!! Keep it low stress and then when she starts to feel more like things are safe and in control, try pushing her a little and see what she can self-soothe with and not; Go on that info she gives you. Listen to what she is telling you.

No it isn't always easy but your job is to help your child - your baby, period! She counts on you and so try to listen and help her. If she lets you know something isn't working, listen - don't try it again on her - give her some time. Appreciate her for who she is and work on building her trust in you.

There are many other gentler methods for trying to get a child to sleep - look this subject up on Dr. Sears website - www.askdrsears.com.

Good luck,
Alli

i think 5 mo. is way too young to cry it out! I can't believe your dr. suggested that! I say go back to whatever works for you! feed her, rock her, give her a pacifier, swaddle her, make her feel safe and secure and she will start sleeping better. if you have to go in her room in the middle of the night, try just patting her back and giving her the pacifier first. if that doesn't work, pick her up and rock her a little then put her back to sleep. remember also that she will go through many growth spurts that will disrupt her sleep AND make her hungry in the middle of the night! even if she had been sleeping all night with no feedings, she might need more food now. At this age, it's about doing whatever works for both of you and whatever you feel she needs!

Hi,
I hate the Ferber method. I prefer to have the baby in bed with me and to have both of us get some sleep. I can't stand to hear them cry. It breaks my heart. She just wants to be near you. I would let her sleep with me. My 4 year old still comes and gets into bed with me when he has a nightmare. At 5 months old she is just needing to be with mommy.
Babies go with instinct and so it is good to nurture them. Ferber is harsh. I could never use it as it tells the baby that mommy does not want to be with them. Please just cuddle the little one. They are so small for such a short time.

whoa! 4 months old still need their mommy's at night! Does she still need a bottle? Feed her, put her back to bed and pat her back. Forget Ferber!! She is too young. Only you know what you need for your baby! The doctor doesn't live with you!
Put your baby back on the schedule you had before only wake her up more during the day and play with her so she will sleep good at night. Start a bedtime routine and stick to it. Your daughter is getting confused by you starting and stopping the ridiculous method at only 4 months! My daughter never would cry herself to sleep, but I could get up comfort her and pat her back to sleep.

First, get a new pediatrician. I'm not a Ferber fan, but even I know that 4 months is too young according to Ferber. Second, read several sleep books and get a feel for which one will work best with your child's personality. There is no one method that works for every child. I have twins and have to use different methods for each.

okay, this is just my opinion and please don't take offense, but I think whoever invented the Ferber method should just curl up a die listening to a baby cry.

I say you know what your baby needs, meet her needs and she'll feel safe and secure and start sleeping better on her own. Who says they all have to do the same thing at the same time. They are not robots, they are babies and every single baby is different.

DON'T DO IT. The Ferber method is not intended for any infant younger than 6 months (AT THE YOUNGEST!)... Messes with the baby's ability to bond with caregivers if you do it too soon.

Below is from http://wikiparenting.parentsconnect.com/wiki/Ferber_Metho...

"The Ferber method is meant for children aged 6 months or older... Ferber makes sure to state: "Simply leaving a child in a crib to cry for long periods alone until he falls sleep, no matter how long it takes, is not an approach I approve of. On the contrary, many of the approaches I recommend are designed specifically to avoid unnecessary crying."

By the way, I will admit that I am bias (although that doesn't change the quotes I pasted in above). I did not follow cry-it-out. Instead when my daughter was that tiny, I would put her on top of a blanket that was on top of a medium size pillow and rocked her until she fell asleep. Gently lifted her off the pillow (with blanket still around her so she didn't feel a difference) and put her into bed. No crying. No separation anxiety. No stress. No guilt. (And yes, she naturally developed the ability to soothe herself to sleep as she matured.)

There was the time she was vomiting in her bed at midnight from a stomach virus... the times her arm and foot was stuck between the crib rails... If you don't go in and at least check, no matter what hour of the night it is, you'll never know for sure what is prompting the crying.

Crying is a baby's only form of communication. It helps the development of her trust in her caregiver and development of her own self confidence if you respond to her communication efforts.

Whatever you do, you have to be consistent and can't switch it around. If you let her cry it out, it will take about 3 nights. For yours, maybe a little longer because she has learned that eventually you will give in. Make sure she is not sick or hungry before trying anything. Once you know she is ok and only stubborn, then you will have to be more stubborn than she is if you really want any method to work. Otherwise, she will be sleeping with you for years to come (which is fine for those who don't mind it). Put on some soft music or fan noise. Reassure you love her, but after you decide what you want, then insist on it. It's sooooo hard to do. But, the benefits are tremendous.

She's still very young, so I wouldn't expect a full 8 hours from her just yet. Some babies sleep for 8 hours early on & some don't. The most important thing you can do for her & for yourself is to try methods that you are comfortable with. If you are uncomfortable trying the Ferber method, don't do it. I bought the book The Happiest Baby on the Block. I took some advice & modified parts of that method to suit my son's specific needs & my mothering style. I also had a co-sleeper attached to my bed that my son slept in until he was 6 mos old. But I let him take naps in his crib, so he would know & understand that was his bed too. We also always had a solid bedtime routine. I felt like it was our way of letting him know "it's bedtime". We made sure to be consistent, that is important & we worked through any issues taking them on 1 at a time & going slowly. I hope this helps! Good luck to you & your baby!

I agree with Wendy. Mamas hold your babies while you can (papas too). By age two they want to see the world and they won't hold you. I am the homeschool mother of two teens and I held them as much as they wanted. Now they are very independent young people that are ready to fly the nest. I know that sleeplessness is hard, but try to rest when they do and enjoy your babies.

First of all, your child does NOT have sleep issues. It is perfectly normal for a 5 month old to not be sleeping through the night, and for a baby that ONCE slept through the night to stop. Ferber does NOT work for all children - even DR. FERBER says this!!! He has gone back to his body of work and admitted that it is not for everyone. But what I do know about the Ferber method is that you can not go back and forth with it. You can't start and stop - it is definitely a progression, and the more times you "start" it, the more you'll be dealing with 5+ hours of screaming.

ANd I have a real problem with a pediatrician that instructs you to start this very intense method of sleep training at only 4 months old. My pediatrician doesn't think that any sleep training should begin before 6 months old! I personally am of the opinion that children can learn without such a fierce method, but that is me. NOt everyone believes you have to put babies in their cribs awake for them to fall asleep. My babies always needed extra rocking and/or nursing to fall asleep, and eventually learned to sleep through the night - without "training" them. They just learned what it felt like to get a good night's sleep since I didn't make them cry it out and cause any trauma (for my babies it would have been trauma - their temperaments are not meant for Ferber or CIO - though it is not necessarily traumatic for all babies). THey also did it when their bodies were ready to do it. I nursed, so they needed to eat in the middle of the night for a while. All babies are different. I love this quote from Dr. Sears: "Babies need to be parented to sleep, not just put to sleep. Some babies can be put down while drowsy yet still awake and drift others need parental help by being rocked or nursed to sleep.

The reason is that while adults can usually go directly into the state of deep sleep, infants in the early months enter sleep through an initial period of light sleep. After twenty minutes or more they gradually enter deep sleep, from which they are not so easily aroused. As you probably know from experience, if you try to rush your baby to bed while she is still in the initial light sleep period, she will usually awaken. Many parents tell me: "My baby has to be fully asleep before I can put her down." In later months, some babies can enter deep sleep more quickly, bypassing the lengthy light sleep stage. Learn to recognize your baby's sleep stages. Wait until your baby is in a deep sleep stage before transitioning her from one sleeping place to another, such as from your bed to a crib or from carseat to bed or crib." Here is a link to his 8 INfant SLeep Facts: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070200.asp

I have another book for you: THe No-Cry Sleep SOlution by Elizabeth Pantley. It is NOT a quick fix method. She requires you to log your nights and really analyze the situation to see where you need improvement. Then she offers suggestions. SHe also offers suggestions that differ for formula-fed and breastfed babies (because they ARE different - breastfed babies need to eat at night more and for longer!), and she offers suggestions on continuing OR stopping co-sleeping.

Are you against co-sleeping? If that is what is allowing your family (and by that I mean the baby, your husband, and you!!!) to sleep and you are ok with it, then do it. There is a whole other lifestyle out there that differs from your friends and Ferber - and our babies are doing fine! My youngest didn't start co-sleeping until she was 15 months old (hurricane evacuation started it), but it has helped her sleep so much better. She'll grow out of the need. In the meantime, my husband and I are getting more sleep - important, because I am 8+ months pregnant. My son did the same thing- started sleeping with us at about 17 months old, but stopped by the time he was 2. He didn't "need" it anymore. Co-sleeping properly can be a wonderful thing for your family. Here is a page of questions and answers about HEALTHY and BENEFICIAL co sleeping, and how to do it safely, by Dr. Sears. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp I'm not telling you to do this; I'm simply trying to tell you that it is OK, even if your friends and family don't do it. SOmetimes you have to do what works for YOUR family, not the typical family.

Again, I have to say that a 5 month old who has stopped STTN does NOT have sleep issues! SHe's perfectly normal! ANd if she's breastfeeding, she has had a change in her nutrition needs and may need to nurse more at night.

It's ok to do things differently than your pedi and friends suggest. Tell them to come to your house and see if Ferber works for your baby!!! They'll likely see what you already know: it doesn't work for her. There are other methods out there that work for different babies. Pantley's method works for many and it is a gentle approach to helping your baby sleep. Reading Dr. Sears can help you see that babies need to be PARENTED to sleep, not PUT to sleep. I always say to people that question why my baby didn't STTN when theirs did: I am a mama 24/7. I don't stop being mama when the sun goes down and it's "bed time". I'd also suggest DR. Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block, though it does deal with younger babies first. But he gives great insight on how babies sleep and how they interact with the world. According to him, your baby is barely "out of the womb" as he believes in a fourth trimester, where babies are getting used to life outside the womb. That might be a great read for you too.

It's ok if your baby needs extra help. She's just different than some. BUT.....she may not be that much different. Your friends' babies and your pediatrician's other clients could very well have had their needs ignored while they were being "trained" to sleep at night.

Different strokes for different folks. If my post offends, I don't mean it to. I just want you to know there are different ways for different personalities/temperaments and different families. THEIR way may not be YOUR way....and your baby may very well be much happier for it.

Good luck, honey. You'll get a lot of different advice on this subject, but I think my ideas are worthwhile. And I know a huge group of women that feel the way I do, and we have very happy babies and happy mamas!!!

Before I became a mom (21 months ago) I was all for 'crying it out' but then I read "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg. This book is AWESOME and has worked for EVERY parent I know that has read it. Because of this book, my daughter slept all night by 10 weeks. The trick is teaching them how to self-soothe. As someone else mentioned, the Ferber method can traumatize the child and hamper her ability to bond with caregivers because the truly do not know if you are coming back. She's not screaming because she's spoiled; she's screaming because you suddenly changed everything she knew about going to sleep AND because she is honestly scared to death that you're gone forever.
I'd read this book ASAP and you'll be getting great sleep within a few weeks, tops.
Don't feel bad about previously trying the Ferber method- you took your doctor's advice and she should know better than to try it on a five-month old. I am usually of the opinion that doctors know a lot more than me because they went to school much longer than I did, but maybe in this one case it wasn't the right advice.
Please let me know if you have any questions about Baby Whisperer. Tracy Hogg is truly a GENIUS!

I know that many people have embraced the Ferber Method, so I mean no disrespect for those of you who have had success with it. We tried it as well and determined that it was not the right way for our little girl at 6 months. She would get so upset within the first 15 minutes of crying that she would begin to gag and throw up. The whole experience was quite contraindicative of her relaxing and going to sleep. It caused her, and us, so much stress we abandoned it in a few days. I should mention that she had colic in the prior months, and therefore slept in our bed with us. Maybe it was too big of a shift for her, I don't know? A friend passed on a book to me THE CONTINUUM CONCEPT, which really helped us understand her sleep needs, and a better way for all. It is a much more "gentler" way than the Ferber Method, which I feel gives the wrong message to our babies, one of abandonment. How sad it is that your baby would scream for hours with no comfort, then finally exhausted, fall asleep for a few hours. This is the stuff that nightmares are made of....

Be intuitive with what your baby needs. My advice to you would be to assess what is right for you and your baby, and not necessarily follow your doctor's advice. If she still needs rocking and comfort for sleep, so be it. All babies are different....my daughter didn't sleep through the night till she was a year and 1/2 old...my stepson slept through the night at 2 months. One thing that really helped us was a rocker swing. It had a comfy chair that could recline all the way back and you could set the swing on slow, and she would sleep in it for an hour....before we would move her into our bed. Good luck with everything, I know it can seem quite exhausting.

YOur daughter is very smart. You said we have started and stopped several times, this is key to why the Ferber method "hasn't worked". You are simply training her that if she crys long enough and hard enough, she knows she will get her way. The most important suggestion in all parenting books is consistency. The first time you stopped the Ferber method, you just reinforced the unwanted behavior. I did it on all 3 of my boys, and if done as outlined, it always worked. Each one responded differently. But they were WAY HAPPIER and healthier sleeping thorugh the night, as well as the parents. It is tough, but once you commit you have to follow through to the end. You are doing her no favors by stopping once you started. Has it gotten harder each time you tried it? Unfortunately that is a result of your actions.
Good luck.

Hi M.,
First and foremost i fill for u. I am not sure what the Ferber method is but if you have started giving baby cereal maybe u should try giving your little one a bit more cereal before u put baby down for the night this way baby tummy's full(but only at night when baby is ready to go to sleep)
Hope this helps.
Good Luck

First of all the Ferber method does not work on EVERY child. Also your child may not be ready for this technique. It is not a lost cause.

Some of these suggestions are reruns of other posts from other moms.
Be sure to check out Mamasource on Nov. 27th, 2008
“Help getting my 12 week old to sleep”

My mom suggested this technique to us and it worked great.
I always remind parents that the length of time you rile up a child is the same amount of time it will take to calm them down. Adults can stop playing instantly, but a child cannot calm down the same way.
Try bath time right before bed, close the bathroom door, play quiet music, bathe him in very warm water, do not excite your son. While bathing him, rub him with stronger rubs, almost like a massage, speak in low tones.
Wrap him in a towel take him to his room with his crib. Make sure the lights are low. Have soft music or a white noise machine playing, dry him off with strong wipes, like a massage. Put him in his pajamas.
He will be so tired and calm, he should be pretty sleepy by this time. If you can turn the heat up a few degrees, the warmth will also help him fall asleep.
Place a rolled up towel at the top of his head so he will have that pressure on his head. He is old enough to sleep on his tummy. Place him in the crib so that he is sleeping the width of the crib instead of the length. This will help to make the crib not seem so big.
If he wakes up in the middle of the night with wet diaper, or whatever, try not to talk to him, do not turn on the lights. Make it as uninteresting to him as possible, so that he will not be stimulated. You could also pat his bottom with light pats. It seems to lull them to be patted.

Our daughter never used a binky so we would place her fist in her mouth. Sometimes this would sooth her. I know many babies use the binky to sooth themselves to sleep. One friend had to place 3 or 4 of them in the crib, cause their baby would throw them out of the crib right before she fell asleep, if she would wake up in the middle of the night, as long as she could find a replacement, she would not cry.
Hope you can get some night time sleep.

I will start by saying that I am a proponent of the CIO method IF DONE CORRECTLY. Now, in your case, I think that it's too early to let your baby cry for 5 hours (I'm not sure there is ever a right age for that). First of all, you need to get into a routine that will beget sleep. Feed, bathe, rock while reading a story and then put her in her bed (or whatever other routine works for you). I have found that rocking babies to sleep becomes a hard habit to break and they do tend to wake up the second you put them down, so I don't suggest continuing to do that. That isn't to say that you can't rock your baby, but just rock her until she is drowsy, not sleeping.

As for the sleeping in your bed, that is another habit that will be very hard to break later, so unless you and your hubby are comfortable with co-sleeping, I wouldn't bring her into your bed to begin with. You should be putting her down in her bed and checking on her every few minutes when she cries. At 4 months, she may be waking up hungry still, especially if she is breastfed. This has been really hard for me to accept with my second baby because my first child slept through the night at 8 weeks old and they were both breastfed (I kept insisting that he didn't "need" to eat because my daughter never did), but I just realized that they were different and that he was, indeed, still hungry in the middle of the night. When he started "snacking" or just eating for a minute and falling back to sleep is when I realized that he was looking for a pacifier, not nourishment and that is when I started letting him fuss a little more before going into his room. When I did go in to soothe him, I didn't feed him. I gave him a pacifier and let him know I was there, but didn't get him out of the bed. He did learn to go to sleep on his own and is now 6 months and sleeping through the night, but he just started doing this consistently within the past month or so.

The bottom line is that you have to be consistent in whatever you decide to do, but I think you're pushing a little too hard too soon. You're probably confusing her with the on again, off again routine, so decide what you're going to do and stick with it. Again, I think the CIO method works, but it may just be too early. Make sure she isn't hungry (and I mean REALLY hungry....try soothing her with a pacifier or something first and if you do feed her and she just snacks, then she doesn't need that feeding any longer). This is the age when they start to eat out of habit, but you should be sure before making her cry herself to sleep on an empty stomach.

Hang in there. I'm pretty sure they all learn to sleep eventually, but you have to get her into a routine and stick with it so that she knows what to expect.

I am so sorry that this is happening and I pray that things will get better for you and you would start enjoying your baby more. I really encourage you to drop the ferber method. I have 3 children 5, 3, 6 months. They were all different and responded to different sleeping patterns. I would never let a baby cry more than 15 minutes before picking the baby up and consoling him/her otherwise the trust will diminish. I would rock her to sleep and put her down as many times as it takes for her to eventually let you put her down. Little by little it will take less time.
Best wishes!
T.

Dr. Ferber was even known to say the Ferber method does not work for every child. I only let my kids cry when a) I was exhausted and needed a mental break or b) when they reached 9 months old and got so active they wouldn't go to sleep. Even then, I only let them cry for a set time (no more than 15 minutes) and if they reached hysteria point before that I went in immediately. In the night when they woke my hubby and I had the "5 minute rule" if they were still crying after 5 minutes we needed to get in there. Babies as young as yours still need lots of comfort, some more than others. My first was very needy and I spent a lot of time comforting him at night (no more than once a night thought usually). The second has been more independent. Instead of bringing her to your bed, you could try setting up a palatte in her room where you could lie next to her crib. She'll get the security you are there and after she is asleep you can always go back to your bed for better rest. After awhile she won't need the reassurance as much.

Also, check to see if she is teething, that frequently disrupts night patterns. If so, try "Gentle Naturals Homeopathic Teething Drops" (only have chamomile in them) or some tylenol or ibuprofen. If you take away the pain she will probably sleep better, mine did.

Sounds like you were talking about my first child...I know how difficult it is to have this problem. The good news is that it won't last forever even though it feels like it will. What it comes down to is: What are you and your husband comfortable with? The Ferber method is not for everyone, it didn't work for our daughter who was a very tough infant, she did not sleep well. She was and still is a spirited child, when we tried the Ferber method she screamed for six hours strait when she was four months old. We refused to put her through that again because it stressed her out and made it difficult for her to trust us for a little while... She too also wanted to be held and rocked to sleep in order to get her to sleep (I'm sure being first time parents and not knowing what to do, and what not to do, didn't help either.) We don't agree with letting a baby scream for more than 15 minutes unless you are in a bad place and want to hurt the baby. When we were at our whits end that's
when we found the Happiest Baby on the block and The Baby Whisperer. We personally found that gleening the information we agreed with and ignored (which wasn't much because they have great information) what we were uncomfortable with, worked for us. h

Just want to second the opinion to read "Happiest Baby on the Block" and "The Baby Whisperer". Routine, routine, routine. Start a bedtime routine if you haven't - dinner, bath, bedtime bottle, to bed. Same with naps - start a routine if you haven't. Maybe take a break from the Ferber method for a few weeks to let everyone have a break. Babies have short memories. I use Ferber myself, but with our last two kids (twins) we tried at the 3-4 month because they were driving us crazy, but after a week I called it quits as the crying wasn't getting better (they too would still be crying at the 1-1/2 hour mark). We tried again at 6 months and it worked - not by night 3, but across a full week we noticed progress and they became MUCH HAPPIER little boys. Now they go to bed fine. We continue to have to let them cry every now and then - teething for example has triggered a lot of night waking.

If she is teething, a little motrin or tylenol may help as well.

M.,
I am not familiar with the Ferber method of making the child sleep- but have you checked her bed -for something that could have frightened her?? or maybe she has had a bug bite or something....... I am not in favor of letting a child cry for a very long time. And they really do learn early to cry to get what they want. There must be something in her bed that is giving her a fright- it could just be her mattress that is not comfortable for her-does she have a favorite blanket or toy that she can snuggle with- one that has the smell of you or your husband-something familiar to her - your child needs her sleep and so do you- and against all professional advice- if your child needs to be near you- then near you it should be. I raised 12 children- and there were two or three of ours that had that problem. We just kept them near us until they were able to sleep in their own beds- eventually they do-
I am not a dr. or a nurse but simply a mom of 12 with old fashioned remedies that seem to work with my children.
good luck

I suggest a pacifier, late feeding of 10pm to fill the tummy, a vibrating bouncy to soothe, not a rocking(they are getting too attached to the attention and your baby wants to spend the time with you, 5mo is typical hard transition just forming sleeping patterns when eliminating middle of night feedings (and possible pre teething with buds of teeth under their gums). A teething pal for 1.00 from Walmart as a transitional object, I started mine around this age. I had 4 paci's around their heads and they found one in the middle of the night and went back to sleep. I used to tell them Shhhhing sounds and Rabbit is hear for you, lay the rabbit near their head in view and shhhh, shhh, shhh with no picking up. I'd pat their back for touch but no picking up. Good luck, you'll get through this one of many phases.

Forget Ferber. Every baby is individual. The reason a baby supposedly stops crying with the Ferber Method is because he/she gives up because no one is responding to his/her basic needs. The baby does not learn to "soothe itself back to sleep" (it sounds less harsh than what you are really doing, which is ignoring your baby in hopes that it will stop crying on his own.) Do what works for you. Here are several things that worked for us. With our first baby, she hated the crib so she slept with us and we all slept peacefully. We were so sleep deprived, we simply didn't care where she slept. Another thing to try is putting your baby to sleep on her tummy. She can probably flip over by herself anyway. After going through such severe sleep deprivation with our first, I put my second and third baby to sleep on their tummy immediately. Babies digest better on their tummy. Third, your baby could be hungry. You didn't mention what you are feeding her, but she may be hungry. Read Super Baby Food by Ruth Yaron. I still refer to it and make Super Baby Porridge for my 8 YO. Finally, follow your baby's cues when she is tired (pulling on ears, rubbing eyes, yawning, etc.) Put your baby to sleep when she is tired and try to set a routine that you following closely every night --eat dinner at the same time every night, and try to go to bed around the same time every night. After feeding my baby, they usually are ready to go to sleep shortly afterward. Enjoy your baby. Rock your baby, rub your baby's back, hum or sing a lullaby. Turn down the lights, TV, etc. Your baby still thinks you and she are one person. The Ferber Method is so harsh and is obviously not working. Good Luck and God Bless!

We have never let our son sleep in our bed. I was too scared. So I dont know if this will work for you. We have a little rocking chair just for babies that converts to a rocker up to age three. We buckle him in that and give him his last bottle and he falls asleep. We have found that if we pick him up too eairly he wakes up if we wait too long he also wakes up. The majic time for us is 10-20 min after he is asleep. Try picking up her arm and letting it drop if its limp then she is truly asleep if not give her more time. Also keep the room dark, black out shades, white noise. Seems to work for us. I couldnt imagine just leaving our son to cry for hours espically at this age. If he cries for more than 20 min he barfs. We have a very happy baby, hardley cries, he is probley spoiled but we get sleep and we dont have a holloring baby. Best of luck hope you find the answer.