5-Year-old Boy Acting "Too Silly" in School

My son (4 yo) has done this occasionally. It does seem to stem from boredom and is a way to get attention from the teachers and other kids when he doesn't have anything to do. Unfortunately, once he gets wound up it's hard to get him calmed down, so the time out (of the room, or the situation) seems to be the only thing that's effective. That being said, if you or the teacher catch it starting soon enough and re-direct him to another activity you might be able to head it off. But, in my experience, as long as there's an audience that's paying attention, it's hard to stop it. I usually take him to another room and give him a quiet activity like drawing or a book. I know it may be harder in a school setting, but hope something like that may work for you.

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Maybe talk to him about it and give him a specific tiem and place during the day where he is allowed to let his sillies run rampant.

Create a reward sheet for him in school where he receive a star several times a day for paying attention, staying in his seat and doing his work quietly. When you first start, give him a small reward at the end of the day for his good behavior if he earns all of his stars that day. As he gets better at this, space out the rewards to every few days or every week and make the prize a little bit bigger or special.

The silliness that you are describing is probably just him having fun but it can also be attention grabbing behavior. If this is the case, maybe you or your husband give him your undivided attention each day - say 15 minutes - where you are his captive audience and can be silly and not have to worry about hurting little brother since little brother will be doing something else. Or your son can just decide to do something calmer with you like talking to you, playing a game, reading, putting together a puzzle.

These are just a few of the ideas that I am able to come up with right now. Hope it helps.

I chuckled when I read your post. Yes it's annoying, but it's his personality. He's immature right now,as he should be, but sounds like you have a character on your hands. Find a way to embrace it: For example, I once read a story of a woman who's 6 year old son would go out in the woods and find the biggest stick that he could carry and jab people with it. While all the neighborhood kids are running for their lives, his mother simply said -"He's a fencer". So she put him in fencing class. Attacking kids in the neighborhood stopped, and he grew up to be an Olympic fencer. Story number 2 that may relate more to you: Jim Carey was nutjob (say that lovingly) when he was younger. Always got in trouble at school and was told he needed to behave. He took that energy and put it into comedic acting and as you know is very successful. Put your son in acting classes, let him express himself there. Perhaps that energy won't come out so much in school if he has a place to express it without judgement. As he gets older you may find that he has an affinity to being a comedian. I bet he'll love doing talent shows when he gets to grade school. Yes, his behavior is annoying but it's who he is. As time passes it will tame but you may find that he'll choose a career based on that be very successful at it. Keep an open mind. He could be a pediatrician that likes to dress up as a clown. I had a doctor like that and loved going for my check ups. He was the craziest man I ever met lol. Makes me laugh to this day just thinking about it. Hang in there - you are blessed. It could be worse. You could be dealing with a child that likes to harm animals. They grown up to deviants that make the news. Sounds like you have a very sweet little boy that likes to make others smile : )

He could just be an energetic, fun kid, but it also could be more extreme and be an indicator of ADHD. Go to the website for ADDitude magazine (www.additudemag.com) and find their checklist for the symptoms to see if they seem familiar. If so, you might start off by talking to the pediatrician for a referral to specialists. You can get help at a young age. Our son's activity level was off the charts in preschool and he got kicked out of preschool because of it. I can completely understand the fear of not having things under control by kindergarten.

Good luck!

Class clowns are seeking attention. They don't know how to get it in socially appropriate ways so they goof off to get a laugh. Often this becomes a habit and the only form of interaction that your child has with peers. The bad thing about this is that the negative attention he gets from peers or teachers is still attention and still feeds his fire. But you are lucky that he's only 5 and still very easy to teach about social skills. I'd give him some alternatives, and time to practice at home. You could suggest games to play with a friend, questions he could ask them, etc. Be specific, almost like a script, and have him practice the questions/games with you and his siblings. Role play him, pretend to be a friend at school. Have him engage you in an appropriate way. This will give him the confidence to use these skills with his peers. Also, make sure there is a time at home where you are enjoying each other as a family without being silly. Maybe the dinner table would be a time to practice talking and interacting without being silly. Help him learn that he can still have fun without being silly. Lastly, I'd look for books at the library about class clowns. He may not understand what his silliness looks like to his peers and this could help.

I've been a pre-school teacher and have seen lots of children in this "not naughty but still disruptive" category. NONE OF THEM HAD ADD! Please don't go down that road. Chances are he just wants friends and is figuring out how to get them - you can help him find the tools to make friends without getting in trouble at school.

I have two boys ages 6 and 7. Grade 1 and 2. I held the 7 year old (almost 8) from going into Kindergarten as he was too socially immature. I have been trying to figure him out since he was 2yrs old. I had him tested despite what people said to me about labeling your child with a disability. He is in the 98th percentile for IQ and has been written up as a genius along with having anxiety, sensory issues, and Tourettes. Knowing all of this has helped me change my behavior to help him. He can't sit still, ever. My brother, who was put on Ritalin when he was a child, is also a genius and has told me that he was bored in school and got into trouble a lot.
My younger son who is 6 has been in full time Grade 1 for 4 months now and has been in trouble off and on with the teacher. He is out of control silly. Likes to push stuffies in people's faces or put his face in others' faces or likes to be on the floor and growl. Last Friday is was rolling on kid's desks and laughing. All of this in a happy silly way. He can't finish his list of things to do when he gets in the classroom. Take off coat, put lunch in cubby, put on shoes etc.... He gets distracted, can't remember what he is supposed to do, doesn't care what he is supposed to do. I have him come in 5 min early now so he can get those things done before the kids come in and distract him. So far we are making progress. The teacher has sent him to the principals office twice for a talking to. It worked for awhile. We have a point system for both of the boys. Social points, Active points and Learn points. We try to catch the boys doing good more than bad. $1 equals 1 point. They earn their allowance this way. I can barely find anything positive about the behavior of my younger son as he doesn't listen, can't remember, and doesn't care when you punish by taking away his "currency". No soccer, no video games, we have even stripped his room of all toys and stuffies and he has been in a time out, stood in the corner, pulled him out of hockey, and nothing worked except for those points. We realized that he is on a different spectrum than our older boy. His "good" behavior that we give points for is barely acceptable behavior for the older boy. My sons have to achieve a min # of points on all 3 columns in order to be allowed to spend them at the toy store. It is working. I just have to remember catching him doing good things. Its tough to keep that in your head at the start . The teacher belittled him last Friday, told him she's sending him back to Kindergarten and yanked him out of the room, hurt his arm and dragged him with his heels digging in, to the Kindergarten class. He was of course crying and screaming and there is now an investigation going on and the teacher has not been seen at the school. The teacher can't handle him. He does so fabulous with one on one attention. He is the happiest kid you'd meet. Never starts trouble, never unkind, tells the truth, very loveable,and sweet but so DARN SILLY. I asked the school to answer a questionnaire in October so I can get him tested like my other son. I need to know what I am dealing with or what I am NOT dealing with so that I can change my behavior to help my kids excel. I am looking into food testing now as well as formal testing. Dr. Rapp's work is interesting. Google Dr. Rapp, the Donahue show and Food and see what you come up with. I suggest that your son be the oldest in the class as you can always give him harder work but you can't move the class socially down. Also, this will boost his self-esteem to not always be on the bottom. I suggest doing the point system and researching behavioral reactions to food. Formal testing helps if there is actually something there . You need to know what you are dealing with. My goal is for my boys to have healthy self-esteems. I know you will find a way to help your son as you are seeking information and that is a great start. Good luck!

yeah he sounds like hes bored out of his mind. its not that i would push him through to 1st grade or something, but talk to the teacher and see if theres any way to let him excel in school by doing something else ? i know some schools are starting to switch over to student based learning, and though preschool or kindergarten is maybe "too early" to indivudualize according to some people, i feel bad for your son, he really sounds like hes not being challenged! and thats totally not fair. i know because i was there too. my K teacher still says to this day that she had me help correct papers because i was so bored in K. and i believe it too; i was such a nerd for that kind of stuff. i loved it.

so i dont know. see if they can test him to see if maybe he is educationally ready for first grade. with me, my mom said she didnt want to bump me ahead because i wasnt socially ready, but looking back now, i was NEVER going to be socially ready for anything. im just not like the other kids socially... but there isnt anything wrong with that. i was bored until upper high school when i took college writing and my grandpa died.... then things were harder. but man, the boredom never went away.
good luck

Another reason your son might be "silly" is because he might be allergic or intolerant to a specific food or drink or chemical/preservative, etc., which, when it acts on the brain, causes him to be, well, silly. The only way you'll know, though, is to have him tested. A naturopathic doctor can run a wonderful test known as an Elisa/ALCAT test. It is an easy test and is quite accurate.

It could very well be that he's interested in the end of the school year and is having a hard time waiting--perfectly understandable, with the wonderful weather we're having now. But if this is something that's sort of been ongoing and is now getting worse--to the point it's actually disrupting the classroom and the teacher is asking him to leave the room--then I would look further into it. Yes, he could just be a kid and a goofball--or it could be something more. You mention he can be quite hyper. That's usually one way the body let's us know that we're ingesting something that the body doesn't like.

Good luck.

Oh my gosh, what pre schooler doesn't act goofy? Here we go again, Teachers chastising normal behaviors in a child his age. I am sorry, I get very upset when children are punished for being children. Are they getting outside and running around? Maybe she? or he ? should start incorporating physical activities. Next comes the, "OH, I think your son has ADD or ADHD. There is nothing wrong with your son! He is doing what every child does at his age! Please do not apologize for his behaivor! Is he hitting, angry or aggresive? If so, then there is a problem. He just needs to let off some steam! They want these kids in Schools to be little robots. Children that age, need fun, stimulation outside activities for long periods of time. Forget that they need to learn, this is the age to be a child! Yes, they are getting bored, just as older children do,at the end of the year! Hope that helps. Mother to 3 boys, and a girl! Maybe he misses you! Try to spend as much time as you can with him, one on one. Does he really need to go to School ?
Tracey

I read the answers, looking for an answer for my own kid, and didn't find one. My son had a great time in preschool, but struggled with the same in kindergarten. He has consistently gotten checks under "self-control". I definitely believe my son needs to raise his hand, but I know the reason--he is sooo excited to be in school, learning, with friends, he just struggles with keeping it all to himself. He is a smart boy, he "gets" kindergarten just fine, and his biggest problem is focus, too. I am not willing to say, at 5, that he has ADD and needs to be tested; he's just too young, in my opinion. All that said...I taught high school for 8 years, and found that the kids I liked best, the kids with the most personality, the kids WILLING TO TAKE RISKS (which is huge--those are the kids the teachers bet will succeed, as opposed to the perfect, straight A kids), the kids the other kids like (not necessarily popular, but well-liked)--are the kids who maybe struggled a little earlier on. I would definitely keep a close eye on it--he doesn't get to disrupt the other kids, or hurt their learning--but even if he IS a little immature, socially, in my opinion, there's no better place for him to learn to be more mature than school. And, for my son, some of that "immaturity" is just how he's put together--I'm 33 and still struggle with some of those same things.

I would suggest that you have him evaluated. I would take him to a nueropsychologsit because he may be dually exeptional. I just get this feeling that he is very, very intellegent and maybe a little hyper active, too, perhaps on the ADHD side- I see this pattern a lot and it is a frequent presentation for kids with both issues (even mild) to be silly to distract themselves when they loose track. It is a very clever strategy really. It is worth expoloring.

M.

We had a birthday party for my son (He turned 6). One of the moms came to drop her son off. She kept standing there watching him so I fnaly told her that it was fine if she wanted to leave and come back in a few hours. I could tell she really wanted to tell me something, but was not sure how. I though oh great whats wrong with her kid! Finaly after watching my son and her son interact she said do you have a "high energy" child to? I had to laugh becaugh that is exactly what he is! I in no way shape or form has add. He can sit and play cards or a board game with me and he is just fine, but if we are out with other kids he is just so excited he can't hold it in! We are going back to the sticker chart. Every time we go out and he is good (I always give him rules of what behavior I want out of him) Then he gets a sticker. He then can trade the stickers in for things (5 sticker = I make mac and cheese for dinner, 10 stickers = a happy meal, 20 stickers= a toy, 50 stickers= a trip to the zoo). It worked great in the past for us. Good luck and know that you are not alone!