4 1/2 After 6 Weeks Still Crying at Preschool!!!!

Could you help out in the classroom? If so I would stress, that it would only be the determined days or the determined amount of time. Also that she can't hang on you, as you have to help everyone. And that if she breaks those rules, you will no longer be able to help. Maybe then you could take that opportunity to help her make a friend or two.

My daughter is VERY shy and had a tough start to preschool...but it did get better. It doesn't always happen over night. My daughter was STILL in November opening up to her teachers/classroom but they said every day was getting a little better. She is now in 1st grade and that first year of preschool did help her tremendously. In fact she had no issues starting Kindergarten last year, even her preschool teachers were amazed at how much she had grown socially.

Have you tried role playing with her at home. Get a doll house, ponies or something similar and play out school. Specifically the playground and areas she has complained about. Take the doll and have it look out into the areas she talked about to find a child not so rough or not fighting. Find a friend who is quietly playing. I know role playing with my daughter in the past has helped a lot.

Good luck....I wouldn't give up.

Sounds like way too many kids in the classroom. If you can and want offer to volunteer in her classroom. If not I would look into other preschools. My childrens preschool class their are 14 kids and two teachers.

I don't know what your options are...but I would consider taking her out.
Can G-ma still watch her while you work?
8-3 is such a long time.
I'm sorry this isn't much help.
Poor thing. :(

ETA: Oh if your home I'd definitely get her out of there. You are not spoiling her.
You know your child way better than the ped. and probably better than DH.
My DD is almost 6. She is in kindergarten and I am homeschooling her.
She plays better w/ other kids than most kids I know.
'Away' school is not for everyone.

ETA2: One more year at home could make a huge difference too!

If you google, "Is preschool necessary?" and you will find people who do not believe it is necessary. If you are home, I would save yourself the money and spend this precious time with your daughter. You can teach her way more one-on-one than any teacher can teach with a classroom of kids. Can you picture a teacher with one aide trying to teach 23 kids how to write a letter or number, for example? Just imagine what you can teach at home, or while you are at the bank, grocery store, etc.

Go to the library, the park, etc. where there are other kids. Meet other moms and plan to return again together so your daughter can have some socializing. Invite neighbor kids over to play. Sign up your daughter for music, soccer, t-ball, dance, or whatever she likes so she can interact with different personalities. It sounds like this preschool is not the one for your daughter. This is too much stress for a 4 year old.

Your pediatrician is obviously not seeing what is happening everyday or he/she would not tell you that your daughter needs to be doing what the other kids are doing. Does he/she want your daughter to think that chaotic behavior is normal or the way to get attention or get your way? Have your husband read some of the research on the need for preschool. Some is just biased, but some is really good research.

I would get her out of there. My daughter is in pre-school at a home daycare and LOVES it. She is learning a bunch and at the same time learns to interact with kids of varying ages, goes on trips, etc.

I found this website on the Texas Child Services.
http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Child_Care/Search_Texas_Child...

There are 5 licensed providers in your area that serve pre-school aged kids. Perhaps one of these will be a better fit.

There is nothing wrong with a child who wants to be quieter during play. Your preschool situation sounds horrible! If that's the only center in town, perhaps you can get a nanny instead or a family day care type center for socialization purposes. There are good and bad centers out there and it makes a world of difference for the child. When my son was 6 months old, I had to put him in daycare and he cried every day for a month before I started seeing red flags around the center (not enough cuddling, loving, etc.). I moved him to a different center and within one week, he was loving it. I just kick myself that I didn't move him sooner. Don't keep taking your daughter there. The teacher/director sounds cold to me and that really is not what your daughter needs. Best of luck.

I would find another preschool for her and not worry about it being in the same town with the same kids she is going to school with. It sounds like too many kids in the classroom for 2 people to manage effectively and the kids are too unruly for your daughter to be happy there. Shoot, my daughter is 4, is very sociable and outgoing, but probably wouldn't be happy there either with kids that can't behave themselves better. Last year she did a 3 yo program and it was a teacher, one aide, plus a parent who had signed up to bring snacks that day and help out - and there were 18 kids in the class (same thing this year for 4 yo preschool, except now there are 20 kids).

It also sounds like a lot of days and long hours for her to be there - where we are my DD is in preschool Mon-Thurs for 3 hours each day (there is also a M-W-F option, also 3 hours a day). What you are doing sounds more like the full day kindergarten we have here. Given your daughter's personality, I would look for something with fewer kids, and fewer hours per week. Yes, she needs to be ready for kindergarten next year, but not if it means she is getting such a negative experience now.

You know not every preschool is a good fit for every kid. I had to try a few out before I found one that worked for my son. My suggestion would be to find a new daycare that has a preschool program. One that has less kids or more classrooms and teachers or a smaller center. Many daycares have preschool programs that are curriculum based and help to get the kids ready for school and learn social skills etc. I used to work in a small daycare that had a good program. I have tot ell you I had a very bad experience with a "christian" school, and once I move my son to a different school he did very well. Your daughter is obviously not happy and something is going on that shouldn't be. Follow your gut and get her in a different school!!!

Most of the time separation anxiety does get better, and the crying should only last a few minutes after you leave. The fact that she is continuing to cry during the day is a sign that something is WRONG!! As a mom and a former preschool teacher my advice is to find a new school ASAP!!!

Hi,
I think a year of quality preschool, perhaps 3 half-days a week, is a wonderful introduction to school and learning in a group. However this is way too large a group and it doesn't even matter if there were more adults. Many young children do not learn well in groups this large. And the responses of the staff are concerning. As to your family and pediatrician, how could it be spoiling your daughter to insure that her preschool experiences are age-appropriate? I have never recommended removing a child from a quality preschool just because they are having separation difficulties. But the situation as you describe it is not age or educationally appropriate. It's not supposed to be overwhelming, but rather fun, inviting and child-friendly. My very best to you.

That is a long day and a whole lotta kids. My four year old goes MWF from 9-12. There are also 12 kids in his class with two teachers and this is our third year there and have been very happy. Look for a different school, preschool can be a really fun positive experience and can really help in preparing for kindergarden(I hope he is my oldest) Look for an accredited school.

I know it's hard to find preschools/pre-k in a small town. However, there's GOT to be more than just that one center. At this point, it might be better to worry less about her getting to know the other children she'll be in kindergarten with, and more about finding a better pre-k.

If she's having this hard an adjustment in pre-k, it'd be that much worse if she's kept home before kinder. Believe me, the teachers CAN tell which kids have not been in preschool. Not only are they crying, but they also tend to have not been taught the pre-k curriculum. Kinder is nothing like when we were kids. EVERYTHING is taught at least a year earlier now. (My 4th grader is learning what I learned in 5th & 6th!)

Maybe, there's another pre-k close by. That center really does have issues, it sounds like. If the principal is not willing to listen to a parent, then it's time to move on. Your family is right. She really does need the social interaction. It could very well be that your daughter will always be the type to play quietly, mostly by herself. However, being around others her age will do her a world of good!

I understand your concerns very much. I've been on the opposite end of things with my son. He is the very loud and rambunctious kid who is overwhelming to the quiet little girls. Not mean, just extremely active and busy. Your daughter has obviously been raised in a calm environment and it is her nature to be calm as well. This is what I have been trying to do for my son but "calm" is just not his nature, no matter how hard I try to fight it. I was constantly worried because some of the little girls would tell him he's too loud. I've had preschool teachers tell me that he is just overwhelming for some of the other kids. It made me feel terrible, I would worry everyday. I had a heavy heart for years, feeling like he was just an annoying kid. However, one of his preschool teachers, and his kindergarten teacher, both told me that he is a great kid and brings a lot of creativeness to the classroom, he just needs to learn how to be more considerate of others (and understand we are all different) but no more than the quiet kids need to learn how to stick up for themselves. Some teachers are teaching the quiet ones to deal with the differences, as much as they are teaching the wild ones to calm down. So, what I am saying is that even though this is excruciating, it might be the best thing for her before she enters kindergarten and starts to experience every personality under the sun! Maybe it would be best to cut down on her days but I wouldn't pull her out all together, or pick her up early. Just remind her everyday that everyone has a different personality. There are loud people, quiet people, active people, calm people, outgoing, shy, etc. We all have to learn how to live together. Give her very specific tools or ideas to help her cope. Ex: if you are the playground, and boys are throwing dirt, find a picnic table or a spot near the teachers where you can color or talk to other girls. If someone tries to involve her in something she is not comfortable with, she needs to find her voice and speak up for herself. For whatever it's worth, I was EXACTLY like your daughter. Not to mention, painfully shy. As an adult, you would never know I was that person. We can learn how to stand up for ourselves and to deal with others' personalities. I would maybe drop a day or two but I wouldn't pick her up early. Next year will be the same way. I would just work really hard to give her the tools to arm herself.

That does not sound like a good fit for your daughter. There really is no other preschool in town? Yikes, that's super unfortunate. The school system itself doesn't have a pre-k program? I'm sorry. I've got to tell you, though; our daughter cried at drop off preschool for about 3 months solid. She was fine by the time I picked her up at 1 p.m. however. Could you possibly volunteer in the classroom and see what's going on yourself? I don't know, just an idea. I'm stumped for you.

Shoot, even PUBLIC school pre-K programs have more staffing than that! I'd suggest that you look into publick pre-K or your local YMCA...they have strict rules about staff to child ratios and so forth.

Get her out of there, mama. That many 4 year olds in one class with a teacher that doesn't want to be there is a toxic environment for her that will negaitvely color her view of school for a long time if things don't change.

I'm pretty much repeating what others have said, but I agree with others that the student-teacher ratio is pretty high. My three-year-old is in a class with 16 kids, three teachers, and one aid. The fact that the principle is not responsive to your concerns is also a huge red flag. If you can, find another school, with a smaller class size/better ratio. It is better that your daughter has a good initial school experience, rather than being forced to be in a dysfunctional class room.

I agree with LeeLee. This school doesn't sound like a good fit for your daughter. She's been open with telling you what she doesn't like and it's been 6 weeks. If you're not liking the vibe you're getting either, I would consider pulling her from the class and looking for a church preschool, a moms group or possibly a homeschooling group. Local libraries usually have story/craft time for preschool children too. She can have playdates with the children in those groups.

Does she have any friends outside of school? Let her get together with her friends. If you're home with her maybe try giving her some "workbook time" as a way to get her used to pencil paper work that she would be doing in kindergarten as well as reinforcing what she'd be learning. There is no reason your child needs to be in preschool. I've held off on sending my two oldest to school early and my soon to be 5 y/o is home with me and her younger sister. We do workbooks, stories, crafts & cooking activities to name a few as well as library storytime and her favorite a gymnastics class at a local center. There are plenty of FREE activities to get your daughter socializing and interacting with kids her age. Go with your gut momma...Best of luck to you as you work to find the right fit for your daughter.

Here is a link for the local MOMS club of TX. Maybe you can find a chapter that is close to you. http://www.momsclub.org/links.html
Peace,
J.

That is way too many kids for one teacher. At my son's preschool when he was 4 it was 17 kids and two teachers (and that was way more kids per teacher than when he was 3). I would find another center. When you say this is the only program in your town, how far would you have to go for another program? Whether or not she was happy there, I would not consider it to (without actually seeing it) to be a good program based upon what you are describing.

Too many kids in the classroom. Sound like your daughter is not doing well. Listen to your instinct. Maybe there is a Mother's morning out 2 mornings a week, instead of sending her 5 days. I'm not sure why your pedi would support this. There are many people who home school until first grade or longer. You are more than capable of teaching your child her letters, colors, numbers 1-20, which is all Pre K learn anyways. She might learn more if she was in a smaller setting or one on one with you. You could spend the money on buying preschool curriculum and just reading to her. There are lots of good books out there on how to teach your daughter to read if she is ready. Don't feel like your child won't be ready for kinder if she stays home with you another year. My daughter started first this year and the past 2 years I had her in a part time program because I knew she was not ready for 5 full days/week. She only went 2 days a week. Guess what? She learned how to read when she was 5 1/2 and is now 7 and reading about 2 grade levels above. So she did not need to go full time, and I only spent maybe an hour a day with her on the days she was home on reading and writing activities. Look up Classical school education and also Texas Homeschool Association, as there may be other moms in your area to talk to and find out if its something you'd want to do. As to your husband, not sure why he thinks you are spoiling her. Your daughter may not be ready for full time school yet and it may be better for her to wait a year or two.

Well, if she is going to be going to regular school next year, then this is only precursor to how it will be. DD went to an in home Pre-K 3 x a week for 3 hours a day & let me tell you, she was overwhelmed when full day Kinder started.

Have you volunteered in the classrooom? It's the easiest way to help out, lend a hand, and to see what really goes on in a given day. Rule #1 of sending your kid to school is learning that there are always 2 sides to a story, and sometimes kids tend to exaggerate or make things up.

What type of Kinder do you plan on sending her to? She is going to need to get used to the idea that she is not #1 anymore, that she will have to wait, share, sometimes not get a turn, and deal with all types of personalities.

Honestly, it sounds like your DD is hyper sensitive & easy to get overwhelmed. Does she have anxiety at all?

My daughter had a similar experience and found Preschool to be chaos. Kindergarten also overwhelmed her at times, but then by 1st grade she adjusted. In Prek I went everyday for about 2 weeks and helped in the classroom and then went on a less regular basis. I did simple things so the teacher could focus more on behavior and redirecting the students. I did not hoover over my daughter and I explained to her ahead of time that I was not going to be able to. She was happy just to know I was there and be able to see me. I observed the kids in the class and figured out who would be a good match to be friends with my daughter and made an effort to have playdates outside of school. This helped tremendously. I would also talk to her everyday when we got home and gave her tips on how to deal with the different situations that came up in the day that upset her. In Kindergarten I kept her home occassionally to have down time when I could tell she needed it. If your child is overwhelmed then the negatives probably out weigh the benefits. Paying attention to the needs of your child is not spoiling the child...it's called good parenting. Good luck.

Hun, if it were my son, which he will start school when he's 5 if he's ready, I'd take him out and spend time homeschooling him to get him ready for the following year. there's lots of learning books and tools at the dollar tree. i use those a lot. She will be fine if you withdraw her. I will feel in my heart when my son is ready for school. Even if he is 5 and I feel he isnt ready well he will start when he's 6! But i'm an extremely protective mother!! My husband backs me up because he feels the same way! I hope all works out for you and your daughter!