Taking Kinder Twice?

Updated on August 19, 2010
L.H. asks from North Platte, NE
12 answers

Well, since my last question, I found out that none of the pre k programs will take him, due to the same rule that he will turn 5 before oct. 15. I should have, and would have put him in last year, but he still was not using the potty properly to be sent, he still has problems with the number 2 issue which I am working on a new teniquie (sp), which was suggested to me by the neighbor, with him. With hearing from so many, saying he would not be able to start kinder this year for another rule about age, I figured I start him in pre k this year. Which now I find is a no go. Head start tells me that early child deveopments rule, which is the same as theirs, about the being 5 before oct. 15, is a technicality.That they should still take him. same with saying he could go to kinder this year too. Well the neighbor says, if this is true about the kinder, I should just send him to kinder for 2 years. I really dont' know, as I know hes not ready, though I think he would catch on if he had some one other than myself to teach him. I hate to admit it but I am not as patient as I wish I could be. I can't help trying to fix or correct him every time he starts to go for the wrong thing, or what not, instead let him make the mistake and try to show you. But then, teaching him is like trying to teach a spastic puppy how to sit and stay. if its not fun, they run and play. Anyways. I just want to know, if sending him to kinder for 2 years, since I can't get him into pre k, is a good idea?

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So What Happened?

Alright. He's is not 5 yet, he won't be 5 till oct 4. So I was told, he could not go to kinder this year because he had to be 5 by some time in july. But head start, and the public preschools, which are done but three, as I was told, public grade schools in town. But All, have told me, that they can not take him because he will be 5 before 0ct 15. This is where the problem is. I didn't put him in preschool last year because of potty troubles and discusion on vaccinations. So I opted to put him in pre k this year. Though now I find out its not going to be possible with what everyone is tellign me.

Well I too him to the doctor today, for shots and what not, even though I think, because of being shy and embarrased to ask about the shots he was getting, got the one shot both my husband and I agreed not to let him get as it was named something other than I thought it was. Sighs. I feel stupid on that part. Really stupid. Anyways, other than that, talked to the doc about his speach, she was going to refere me to early child development for his speach, but they even told me they would not take him for even that beacuas of the same age reasons as pre k. Sighs. So she made out a sub as she called it for the therepy place in town, so I might make and appointment there to get him evaulated at least for his speach. As for Pre k goes. I don't think he will get to go sadly. And I can't send him to private, as we just don't have the money to do so.

More Answers



answers from Portland on

I'm confused! He can't go to pre-K but he can go to K? But if he went to K, he'd have to go 2 years? I just don't understand it.

By what date does he have to be 5 to be eligible for Kindergarten? I've never heard of a child being too old for Kindergarten.

And, I've not heard of public pre-K except for possibly Headstart. Was he in Headstart this past school year?

If he can't go to any school because of his slow development around bowel movements or for any other reason beside age for that matter, he is eligible for services from the school district. Federal law requires that the school district evaluate and provide treatment for any condition that prevents a child from having success in school. You can also get information on that program from your local school district office.

If he's eligible for Kindergarten this fall then he'll be eligible for 1st grade next fall. If he's not eligible for Kindergarten then he should be eligible for Headstart if you meet the income and residency requirements.

Perhaps you could clarify this for us? Or you could clarify it for yourself by calling your local school district office.

I just read your earlier question. You definitely need to call your school district's Early Intervention program. Actually the program your son would be eligible for may be called something else. You mention that he has difficulty with speech. This makes him without a question eligible for services. Keep calling until you find the right person who can help you.

From your descriptions, your son is eligible for services from the school district. You just haven't talked to the right person yet.

I wonder if you need an advocate to help you? Perhaps a neighbor or friend could make calls for you. If you're receiving assistance talk with your case worker. I also recommend that you take your son to a pediatrician for an evaluation. If you're on state assistance you are also on a state medical plan. If you're not on state assistance and have a limited income you are eligible for assistance at a county medical clinic.

Your son definitely needs to have a medical evaluation, not only for bowel movement development delay but also for speech difficulties and behavior difficulties. I would hope that the pediatrician will refer him to a developmental pediatrician. Please keep making calls until you find someone who can help you make sense of the system and get the help you need for your son.

It sounds like he has developmental delays. The school district has a program that will evaluate and provide treatment. At the very least keep calling the school district. Perhaps it would help if you list all of the difficulties your son is having. Be sure to include speech delay. Just being with other children will not cause him to be able to speak normally. It just doesn't work that way. He has physical reasons that are causing his difficulties.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Denver on

Kindergarten twice would not be a choice you could make possibly. If the BOE (body of evidence) compiled by the teacher over the course of the year supports he should advance to the next grade, it would be difficult and highly unlikely you could have him repeat K. You would be best to make the decision without bringing in the school's opinion here because you will lose if you were wanting him to repeat and the BOE didn't support it. However, as Marda stated, a developmental evaluation either by the school's officials or independently may help sort through some of your concerns. BTW, when my son had delays in toilet training at 4 yrs I inquired to my pediatrician who stated that it can be perfectly normal for boys to take until 7 yrs for mastery of this skill. Boys just take a little longer.

Our teachers state it very simply for these kids with cusp birthdays regarding the school's age requirement---you will never second guess holding your child back to be one of the older kids but you MAY find reasons later on to regret starting them early. I have two August kids and have never regretted holding them back. One is a fidgety boy that gave me no doubts. But I also held back my daughter who has always been top of the class. Even though she could hold her own academically in the next higher grade, I am so very thankful for that extra year of maturity dealing with some of the stupid social stuff that comes along.

Best wishes.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

kindergarten two years is not a terrible thing...but it sounds like you need to get straight with the school district EXACTLY what you can do. and then do it! it does sound like he needs to get into some kind of structured environment. you'd be surprised how being around different adults and kids who are all doing what they are told can change a kid...i never thought mine would EVER sit still, and he is doing great in his preschool. where we live we have a ton of "daycare-preschools". they do both, depending on the age and readiness of the child. they even take kids who aren't potty trained. maybe go to the phonebook and look up daycares and preschools, and start asking questions...

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Denver on

Okay, I'm lost. My sons birthday is October 15th and there never was questions because the rule is October 1st, so even at almost 5 my son had to go pre-k. I always did private pre-k schools because none of the public schools where free. So I'm not sure where the confusion is ? If he's too young for K then he qualifies for pre-k !!
Also, to the person against public schools, those are your views and maybe "main stream" schooling doesn't work for you, but don't put those views on other people. My son has sever ADHD and "main stream" school was the BEST thing, even the red light doscipline !!! Kids need to learn discipline and boundries its apart of life.



answers from Washington DC on

Since pre-K is out, if they say that he can go to Kinder this year, even though you have reservations, I would go ahead and enroll him. Maybe ask the school system to evaluate him. If there is a problem, they have resources to help, but he has to be enrolled in the system first. Then the teacher can work with you on building his weaknesses.

He may surprise you!



answers from New York on

dont do kinder twice.. kids could be mean... the ones that go on.. are going to question why he is now a year back.. go to a preschool someone has to take him.. good lukc



answers from San Antonio on

Can I ask why it is so important for him to go to pre-k or kinder THIS year?

My son did not qualify for pre-k in the public school system. So the only way he was going to even see a pre-school was if we paid for it. I found a two day a week program at a local church that did follow a pre-k curriculum...it wasn't very expensive but it was my only option. Had I not found a reasonable program he simply would have stayed home with me. (For the most part 5 days a week he was home with me).

Once you put him in the public school system...you have to go by their rules...which sometimes don't make any sense, as you are finding out with this weird age cut off for pre-k vs kinder. As another poster pointed out they may just send him on to first grade next year.

I can understand at almost 5 some boys can be tough to handle...mine was and there were days I wanted to send him anywhere but home with me all day...BUT it sounds like that is the best place for him this coming year...I can practically guarantee if you send him to kinder this year (as you are even questioning that he is ready to go)...you will be back here begging for advice on how to handle/fix the discipline problems he is having at school when he gets home from school everyday on red light or without any stars (or whatever method the school uses to show appropriate vs improper behavior).

If teaching him is likened to teaching a spastic puppy how is putting him in a class with up to 23 other kids for one person to handle going to help him?? Let him wiggle, run and play this year...toss in the alphabet one letter a week, numbers and counting, let him draw and cut up paper and glue it to other paper, while you love on him and work on just growing up (and learning to potty).

Don't send him just because you want him to go somewhere this year...send him because he is ready to go somewhere this year. Sending you a hug!!



answers from Pocatello on

I would call your local health unit and the school district to try to get to the bottom of this. Also there are many daycares that offer subsidized spots for children that are in this situation. My son was in this situation and he spent one year in a daycare that had an older class. They really worked more like a preschool than a daycare but it was not labeled a preschool so there were no age cut offs. It made a world of difference for my son both socially and academically. Best of luck.

I am also going to put my youngest son in K for 2 years. He has speech and hearing problems and didn't do very well in pre-K so I have opted for him to do 2 years of K. Just make sure that you inform the school and teacher of your decision at the start of the school year, before he even starts K, that that is what you want to do and then there should not be any problems. Most often they don't let children repeat a grade but there are exceptions and ultimately it is up to the the parents. My son is in a pre-K/K combined class so it won't be all that noticeable for him if he doesn't move up because he will still be with alot of the same classmates.



answers from Provo on

is there a group of home schoolers in your area? often moms will get together to do their own preschool, taking turns doing the lessons and hosting. there are many options for curriculum available. Joy School is a popular one, for instance. you may be able to find some materials on Freecycle.com. i think it's good for kids to have teachers other than their parents because it teaches them to respect other adults. if you do a home schooling group, you have more time to help him with the potty training too. other preschools don't want to take students who are not potty trained. otherwise i would talk again to Head Start as their policy is to give priority to 4 yr olds. good luck!



answers from Pueblo on

Has he been diagnosed with any learning disabilities? One wait until he turns 5 then call the public school and ask for him to be evaluated. Dont let them tell you he cant be cause they did it with my boys. They turned 5 in august. I knew they were not ready for kinder but they were 5 so I asked about testing. They had major speech issues that had never been addressed because docs assumed it was just twin talk. We enrolled them in kinder and they were evaluated. They got speech services. By no means were they ready for kinder so after 3 months I pulled them out but they still got speech services. Pulling them out was considered a fail for kinder and the next year they were considered repeating it. I didnt care the important part was them getting the speech services. They were to old for the preschool program at the school even tho mentally they were not. Learn the laws for your state ask for a parents rights hand book even if he isnt going to public school yet. Something is telling me you will be in for a fight to get your son the services he needs if they are being this difficult just trying to enroll him in the school!



answers from Colorado Springs on

My daughter fell into the same issue as far as the age thing goes. She has an early September birthday, so she met the cut off to start K, even though she is four right now and the school year started last week. No, you can't send them to pre-k (Headstart) through the school district if they meet the school age cut off to start K - there were no exceptions given to that rule here, but my daughter has done fine with the full day Kinder day so far. My option would have been to send her to a pre-k elsewhere that I would have had to pay for (and don't have the money for) or keep her home for an extra year if I wanted her to be more in line (age-wise) with the other kinder students. We opted to send her to Kinder because her teachers said they thought she was ready for it. But if your son is still having issues where he doesn't potty by himself, you would need to check with the school to see if the kinder teachers can/will deal with that sort of thing, or if they can suggest another program for your son if they can't/won't. The expectation in my daughter's school is that the kids can go by themselves. There is only one teacher in my daughters class for 24 students - she doesn't have time to be running to the bathroom with 24 kids that can't potty themselves on a regular basis. I know there were kids in my daughter's pre-k (headstart) class last year that couldn't go by themselves, but they were able to handle that situation since there were three teachers per classroom so the kids weren't left alone if someone had to go to the bathroom with one of the students. Kinder here in Colorado is optional, so if we wouldn't have sent her to Kinder this year (since she met the cut off) then next year she would have been tested to go into 1st grade and skipped kinder all together if she met the requirements. So to me it sounds like you need to have a sit down with someone from the school and find out exactly what your options are at this point. See if they can evaluate your son and figure out if they feel he can handle the kinder class this year - if not, where do you go from there and what happens next year if he doesn't attend the kinder class this year? You will want to get it figured out as soon as possible though, in case the school year has already started. Good luck on figuring it all out. Keep your chin up!

Note: While it certainly would be the "norm" for most kids to be 5 going on 6 in that school year, it is not the rule. The rule goes by whether or not the child will be five on or before the cutoff date established by the school district. My daughter is only four, but will be five before our cutoff date of Oct 15th, so she went to Kinder this year, she is just going to be younger than her classmates.



answers from Tulsa on

I guess I don't understand why the school system isn't just putting him in Pre-K. Isn't that what the class is for? Kids that aren't old enough to go to Kindergarten? He is NOT old enough to go to Kindergarten. Children are supposed to be 5 years old to start Kindergarten and turn 6 during that year. That's just the rule across the board. Since he's not 5 yet he is the age of a Pre-K child. If your school system does not offer this class then he will just have to wait or go to a private Pre-K class.

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