3Rd Child?

I am an only child, so i can not offfer personal experience to you. I'm writing to tell you what i've always been told: "You'll never regret having more children, but at a certain point, after you can't have them anymore, you may regret that you didn't."

Just something to think about.

My third son COMPLETED my family. He is the icing on the cake so to speak. He would only enhance the relationship with his brothers. I love having 3 sons and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I am the youngest of three. I have two older brothers, one is five years older and the other is seven years older. They were always protective of me but they always let me play with them (I will warn you that I ended up in the emergency room a lot because I would try to do what they were doing.) However, we have a great relationship. And even to this day I consider them to be friends as well as brothers. I talk to each of them at least two times a week. But I think it is dependent on what kind of people they are and what the family life is like. If you want another one I say go for it.

From what I hear 3 is easier than 2.

Each family and children dynamtics are going to be different. For example, my husband is one of two boys and they never got along. Then I come from a family of 5 children, and I think I can say that we all loved it. Of course, there were times that we didn't get along or that we wish we had our own space. But overall, I loved having more siblings. And I know other families of 3 or more that were very happy.

Good luck in your family decision. I keep thinking the same thing too. My 2 girls are getting closer and closer. And I can't decide either about a #3 or not. Mine are only 2.5 yrs old and 16 months, so I think I still might wait a bite!

Hey S.,

If you think you and your husband could handle and love another, I'd say go for it. The world needs more children from caring homes. Middle child syndrome is a pain...try hard to explain how you are trying to be fair, and notice that sometimes the middle one might ask for less than he really needs. I'm second of four kids though, so at least I had someone who could share that "middle child" burden with me!

All the best!

you need to do it while you are able and actually considering it... we had planned for two children and God had other plans - I cried for 2 weeks when I found out that I was pregnant with our 3rd child - he is THE biggest BLESSING we have!!!! All 3 of our children are blessings but when you go with God's plans... or your hubby's, things just are great! My hubby always wanted another - but told me he would go along with whatever I wanted... I am glad we have all our children... not sure what I would do without any of them!

Hi S.-

I am the youngest of three, I have an older brother and older sister. We are a combined 3 years apart (my brother is 18 months older than my sister and she is 18 months older than me). I always said if I ever had kids I would never want an only child, but after having a baby at 19, I have only one child and wish he had the experience of siblings (don't know if that will ever happen and if it does it will be very different for him). We were a tight nit group of siblings and still are.

I can tell you as the youngest I got ganged up on by my brother and sister quite a bit, they picked on me a lot, but it didn't change the fact that we loved each other dearly and most of my best memories as a little kid revolve around my brother and sister and how much fun we used to have together, playing in the woods behind our house, snowball fights at grandma's, picking berries by the train tracks, playing in the creek, riding our bikes, etc. I think getting picked on then only made me more resilient later!

I can also say that I think because my sister and I are girls my brother started to feel more left out later as teenagers, but that passes just like the normal awkwardness of teenagedom. Every kid is different, we all three have very different personalities, my brother is the genius of the family, a quiet thinker, while I'm the vocal, lots of laughs, more brazen one, and my sister is the hardheaded, do things my own way type. Different dynamics will play out differently dependent on personalities and you can't control any of that, but as long as you continue to keep them in a nurturing environment, make them play together (my parents always made my siblings let me tag along) they will all grow up loving each other and knowing they have each other to count on no matter what!

I only have one child, but I am one of three sisters. We got along ok, but it always seemed like two of us would be close and one would be the "black sheep". It would vary from time to time who was the black sheep, but it always seemed to be that way. My husband is one of three boys, and it was the exact same with him. Something about the dynamic of three...I don't know. I am not trying to talk you out of a third child. I am sure there are a lot of groups of three siblings that got along great. But that is our personal experience as a sibling in a group of three. Good luck to you!

I would say if you want a third kid and can physically/emotionally/financially handle it, I'd say turn on the Barry White and get started ;).

Hi S.!
I am one of three girls and I have to say I love it! Now we are all Mommys and wives and family get togethers are so much fun.. My husband has one brother and although it is fun getting together with his brother (and his brothers wife and baby girl) I always tell my husband that having the third sibling makes family get togethers more fun. My husband and I are lucky, cause all our siblings live close together and get along so well. It was really fun for me cause me and my sisters all got pregnant at the same time (also my sis in law had one less than a year prior) so our kids will all be able to grow up together. My sisters and I are 6 yrs and 2.5 yrs apart and we are very close. I will for sure try for 3, the dynamic with 3 makes everything so much more fun!

I have 3 children, and I also come from a family of 3 children. My 2 sisters and I are best friends, sure, there were times growing up that we fought; but now I don't know what I would do without them. My kids get along great too, granted they're all still young, but still. Pretty soon, your 5 yo will be getting more independent, wanting to play with friends, and so your littler ones will have eachother. GL mama!

Hi S.,
My husband is the middle child of 3 boys, and they were our 'best men' at our wedding...they are all 3 best friends! Also, I am a mother of 5, and quite honestly, my hardest adjustment was going from 1-2...adding the others was a breeze...#3 being the easiest since #4 & #5 are twins:) Everyone I know who has 3 kids (quite a few) say #3 is the easiest. The oldest 2 play together when you are taking care of the baby, and they are excited to allow the youngest to join in when he/she is old enough. We always said we never wanted to regret not having more children...knew we would never regret having them! So, if you are thinking about it now, I say go for it...you don't want to wait too long, then be too old to try. Children are a blessing! Good luck! :)

You can try talking to your boys about it. Ask them what they think about another baby. I'm not sure about another boy, but a little girl would probable be more positive, but really there's no guarantee. Talk to them tell them what having a baby in the house would mean. That you'll need them to help you with the baby.

You can even wait another year, so your youngest will be 3 then both might be able to understand better what's going to happen.

Good luck!

I am the oldest of 3 girls. I'd say QUIT while you're ahead. It seems it was always the older two against the youngest, and then sometimes (most times) we'd switch and it would be the youngest two against me! Now that we're older, we all get along ok, but it's my youngest sister and I that get along best. Our middle sister...well, we get along best when she's way far away. That middle child syndrome is true...and she's messed up!! I had decided while still at home that I would only have two and if I accidentally had 3, I would have a 4th to keep it even. I quit at 2...THANK GOD!!

It IS what you make it. If your boys are great friends, you must be a great, calm, and loving Mom. One more child will be a blessing. I have three. My boys are 16 mos. apart. They're almost 16 & 14. My daughter's 11. There have been times (months) I thought I'd pull my hair out from all the bickering but honestly...I love having three. I'd have it no other way! It's good for them, too!
Good luck!

I am the middle of 3 girls... and I have three children. my husband is one of two, and he wasn't sure about having a third, but we are so glad we did. Our girls are just 20 months apart, and they were 6 and 8 when their baby brother was born. Baby brother is now 20 and we are ALL glad we have him....I heard from cousins, etc., that four was a lot--one of my cousins said they thought 3 would have been a better stopping point than 4 but I have never heard anyone say that about 3 versus 2. I think the third rounds it out...I am so glad we have our third. (And it was not a girl/boy thing, either...I would have gladly welcomed another girl...I just wanted a third.)

Don't listen to all the negativity. I have a twin brother and a little sister and we have all gotten along great and are very close to this day. My husband is the oldest of 3 boys and him and his brothers had so much fun growing up and still do. Are you going to have conflict? Of course, but so what? Kids who learn to deal well with others learn valuble skills and brothers and sisters provide support for one another that no one else can. I may be biased because I come from a living, functional family but I think siblings are gifts. They will be around when you and your spouse are long gone. Go for it and ENJOY your kids!

THis doesn't really answer your question, but something to think about. The reason I had 3 children is because when I was 26 and my sister 24, she was killed in a car accident. I was so glad my parents had 3 other children. Not that she could be replaced, but I wasn't an only child now at such a young age, and my kids would have cousins to play with. Eventually we had a 4th, so things ended up even afterall.

I am the middle child of three kids. My older brother and I were buds growing up. My little sister and I always had to share a room and we fought ALL THE TIME!!! It was a happy day when she got married at 20 and moved out. Now, I am 30 and she is 27 and we get along much better. She is a wonderful auntie to my daughter and the older we get the more I realize how funny she is and how much I enjoy having a sister. Too bad it took separating us to figure that out. My brother and I are a year and a half apart and my sis and I are 3 years apart. Maybe that was the reason.

I love Christmases with my big family. Instead of 3 kids, there are 6 now (we're all married)! Lots of laughs and lots of stories! My sister and I aren't the norm, I don't think. I am pregnant with my second now, and I haven't ruled out a 3rd either.

Good luck with your decision.

I grew up as the youngest of 3. I think as the kids go through different stages in their life they will be closer to one than the other. It waxes and wanes as to who is close and who isn't. I don't really remember that being hard growing up; it just was the way life was.

My youngest is only 5 months now, but the older two boys just love him and dote on him. My 4 year old seems to enjoy him more than the 2 year old, but I don't know if that will last. There are pros and cons to having another baby, and you never know what they will be like as they get older. Regardless of if you have another baby, they may stay tight growing up or they may find out they have nothing in common. You just never know.

For what it's worth, I'm close to both my brother and my sister now. My sister and I have 7 years between us, so we weren't at the same stage of life until adulthood. That made it harder to be close to her growing up than there being 3 of us - we were going through different things.

I have 8 children, but looking back to when I only had two.....
My first two boys are 2 weeks shy of being exactly 2 yrs apart. They are best friends. Our third came along 22 mos later and he joined right in being best buddies with them. Our 4th and 5th are boys too, everyone being two yrs apart, and they are all best friends. I think it all depends on how you groom them to act towards each other, and how far apart they are in age.

I have 3. The two oldest (girl 7/boy 5) are really good buddies most of the time. Other times, not so much. However they both help take care of the 20 month old. They almost fight to get her from her crib. I dont dare count how many times I have to remind them they are not mom or dad and that we are supposed to care for the baby. I dont know how close the 2 y/o is to being 3 but in my opinion the spacing is great! I wouldnt stress too much about it. If you want another child go for it. Children adapt alot quicker than adults do to new situations. I am sure they will both love the new addition.

I am the middle child. I had an older brother 22 months elder than I and a baby brother 4 1/2 years younger than I.
We are all extrememly close and always have been. I believe my mothers secret was that as each child was born she told the older ones it was our baby. ( not mommies baby)
My older brother and I have been very protective of the younger. In elem. school we did not "hang out" so much but I believe that is because we had our own friends.
I would say go for it.

I have three children, although there are times it is two and against one I would not trade any moment of it. One thing I have learned it to teach them how to get along. they are 5, 3 and 1 so it could also be the age difference. It is difficult at first but I found it eaier to adjust than going from one to two. But you know what when we are around other people they are always complementing on how well they get along and how they are easy to be around.

So since it sounds like you two are doing great I think you will be fine adding one to the mix.

I have three boys and my husband is one of three - he has two sisters. I am one of three - two brothers. My three boys get along fine. Also, there are no guarantees that whether you have two, three, ten kids that they will always get along. I have many friends who were close with their siblings when younger and have nothing to do with each other now or didn't get along at all as kids and are very tight now. There are no guarantees how relationships will change, with or without adding more children to your family.

I have 3; 9, 8 and 6, boys then a girl. my boys are close but they bicker, they are VERY different personality wise and it comes out at times but they love and adore each other and spend a lot of time together all the same. now in regards to my daughter her and my middle son are inseparable,not int he sense that he plays with her because he won't but he will do anything under the sun for her otherwise and is really at her beck and call and my oldest will gladly play barbies and dolls with her even now, just don't tell his friends.