3.5 Year Old Having Tons of Accidents After Having Been Potty Trained for 6 Mos.

It sounds like she's doing it for attention. If the timing of her going to preschool and the baby arriving are close, she may see the baby as trying to take your attention away from her. She used to be home with you, now baby is home and she's at school. This is very common.

Try to spend some one on one time with her. Do something special that only big kids are allowed to do. Make preschool fun. When you pick her up, have a special treat waiting. Do something fun and spontaneous.

As much fun as the baby's milestones are, try making less of a statement about them. Get a book and write them down. Then instead of telling hubby and family all about it, tell them that baby had a busy day and hand them the book to read.

Good luck
M.

It is hard to just sit back and wait, but it truly is the best advice.

Keep this in mind, my oldest did not potty train until she was 3 1/2. My youngest had her moments of not going or always wanting someone to take her in, if not then she would have an accident. Most kids, hit road blocks. It might feel so frustrating but give her time.

My friend had her daughter potty trained before a sibling came along. Once the sibling came, the daughter started pooping in her pants. My friend was doing everything in her power to get it to stop, but her daughter just did it. She was also in a preschool, my friend was lucky the preschool accepted it. I know this sounds like forever, but it took almost a year, and finally her daughter just stopped doing it. And there was no magic in it, except my friend finally decided she would go when went.

Best wishes to you! I always praise parents once they pass the resistance stage, because I totally get how frustrating potty training can be.

My 3 1/2 year old is having the same issue. I just posted about it yesterday. It's stress. It's hard to be patient. If your child is like mine, she just has to wait until she's ready and when she is, it's on! She is pooping in the potty every time, and I praise her so much for it, and when she pees her panties, I just keep reminding her that it's gross to pee in panties and try to make it to the potty next time. So far, we are still dealing with it, but hopefully she'll be back on board soon. We just moved 2 weeks ago...

I've gone through this a few times with my son (almost 5). He was potty trained at 2 1/2, and at times of stress, he still loses control. That's what I'm not sure of from your post. Is she doing it on purpose for attention, or is her mind on so many other things (new baby, etc) that it's truly an accident? Although I sometimes get really frustrated with my son when he has setbacks, I try not to show it because I think that it is truly is accidental - he's not refusing to go to the potty or wetting on purpose. When it's accidental, taking things away or even rewards don't work (that's the definition of an accident right? that the person didn't mean for it to happen). For us, the only thing that helps during these times are reminders. Every few hours, we make him stop what he's doing and use the potty, whether he feels like he has to go or not. We warn them at his preschool when this is happening, and they do the same - a gentle reminder between activities.

It sounds like there is a lot going on for her right now. I hope she gets more comfortable soon.

Gee she's had a lot to deal with. And having a younger sibling is one of the toughest things to deal with because Mom (and everyone else) has to spend so much time and attention on the new baby. Can Dad spend some more time with her?
She won't go off to college in diapers.
If she's having problems put her back in diapers or pull ups till she's ready to do without them again.
With a new baby around she might be feeling pretty unloved as it is.
The baby is in diapers and you still love him/her.
Try not to be so rough on her.
She'll out grow this sooner or later.

Please don't do such harsh things such as taking away her special lovey or chastising her for it or withholding attention - she's got enough stress to deal with having a new sibling and all that, and all that negative attention is only going to add to it. I would agree that I would stop making such a big deal and throwing parties about the milestones that baby is hitting.

Maybe what you should try is to simply put her back in diapers. Let her know you love her no matter what, and you know she can use the potty like a big girl, but since she is choosing not to right now, she is choosing to wear diapers again. That might get her motivated again, or it might just take more time. I would talk with the preschool about what she is going through and see what they can suggest - technically all the 3 year olds that go to preschool where my daughter goes are supposed to be potty trained (no pull-ups either!) but the teacher does let it slide, knowing that not every kid will be trained at that age and accidents are common and to be expected (my daughter would go in a pull-up because she was not trained yet and it has not been an issue - it's not like they are checking the kids at the door). If she really does end up getting booted from preschool, and she really loves going, that will be the natural consequence of her choosing not to use the potty. You will need to explain to her that kids that don't use the potty don't get to go to school.

Hang in there!! :)

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