3 Year Old Having Fits over Bathtime

Hi K.. I went through the same thing when my daughter was about 3 years old. I finally sat down with her on my lap and asked her why she didn't like bathtime anymore.....it came down to something so simple as she was afraid her bath toys were going to get sucked down the drain! :) I took her in the bathtub when there was no water and we played in the tub and I showed her that none of her toys would fit down the drain. We tried and tried to get them to go down the drain and none of them would fit.....after that she was back to her regular bath time schedule and loving it. Just be patient and talk to her about it when both of you are calm and not stressed out about it. This too shall pass and good luck!
Take care,
K.

The best way for us is giving our son some of the control in the stuation. He is 3 & a half and has a tracheostomy, so bath time has brought on a few boughts of trouble. We have set toys for the tub that he can choose from, he also has bath soap to paint on the walls (within the shower area of course), he gets to put the toys in himself and can put the stopper in and out of the drain on his own. He likes to be in charge of stuff, so we have started letting him fill his cups with the water from the shower head, of course he has to be holding the shower head, and he also likes to wash his toys with a wash rag. Giving him duties and routines helps him to feel in control, even though in the end we get HIM to want to do what WE want him to do.

Also what works well for us is the warnings ahead of time, about everything from naptime, mealtime, bathtime to bedtime. We use this technique all day long. Which of course takes consistancy and a semi-flexible routine.

I dont know if any of this helps but I hope so! Good Luck!

Hi K.. I read over what the other mothers have said so far. Here's the thing. Your the mother and she's the child. YOU know she needs baths, she doesn't. My stepson wanted nothing to do with baths. And I told him, they are non-negotiable. Bath time is bath time no matter how much you cry and whine and through a fit.
Once you get that through to her, then you can try the "bribing" thing. You can buy, like the othe mother said, color changers. Or you can buy the soap that makes weird colors when used as bubble bath. You can buy that water chalk so she can draw pictures on the wall. Can you imagine a kid being told, hey! you can draw on the wall!! lol. (All of these things can be found in a child's toy store. Wal-Mart, Babies-R-Us, Toys-R-Us, etc.)
You don't want to instantly revert to the bribing. That shows her, hey, you act badly and mommy will give you something. My son didn't want to get his diaper changed. THe mothers all gave me good advice but in the end, I followed my own. I told him, tuogh buddy! And when he started to get resignd to it, I bribed him with powder. He loves powder.
I hope you luck changes with this soon. I know how annoying and tiring this can be. Best Wishes, T.

So glad you found a solution!

I noticed you say that you are planning a return to work soon and she is about to start school? These are both big things that may be related to her sudden change in behavior. She may be seeking to express some feelings of threatened security and I suggest you make her very safe and comfortable in other areas then take long happy baths yourSELF that she can witness. Tell her, ''That's ok you dont have to bath toady. You can play with toys on the bath at while Mommy bathes''. or some such.
Use a wash cloth and just wipe her down standing on the toilet, instead of baths, for as many days as it takes. (Probably not long - as she might not like that much either!)
Let her ask to join in. Do not question her when she does, just let her bathe.
3 year olds always look for and test where the boundaries of their control are and you will doubtless get a lot of this as she starts school and you both have new people and new routines in life.
I use made up songs about whatever we are doing to help children get involved.
Good luck!

Have you tried a shower? My girls have been taking showers for years. It's much quicker.

After reading your letter I wonder, have you asked your little one, why or what she is scared of or why she doesn't want to bath? Not to get to close or make a statement and accuse you or anyone else, but did she maybe have a bad experience, that would be giving her these problems?
If she does not want to take a bath let her know, it's ok. Don't let her frustrate you. If this is just a phase she is going through. Give her choices. " O.K. babygirl, we need to clean ourselves. Do you want to bath, shower or we can wash up in the sink. Or else we will stink."
My little ones have had bad phases that have driven me nuts as well. What has worked for my daughter was, " Baby do you want to go swimming?" Oh, she is all over that. Now she loves bathtime.
Did you know there are bath crayons. They make bathtime very fun. A bubblebath with tons of bubbles ( no tears of course).

You can also maybe ask her to make her own bath " babygirl, what can we do to make the bath fun for MOM?" Let her make a simple choice for you. After a while she will make such a good bath she will want to go in.
When I was having problems with my son bathing we did silly things, like a bit of honey and a bit of milk, (of course he had to shower afterwards). But the whole idea is don't force her. Make it FUN!!!
I hope this advise helps you a bit.

I think it's definitely a phase that she'll grow out of - and does not mean that she had a bad experience in the bath. My 16-month old is doing the same thing - and I've tried the same things as you (even getting in with him and his twin brother) to no avail. The things I have yet to try are 1) getting a toy that is ONLY allowed to be played with in the bath and 2) showering with him so that he can get clean while getting through this phase. Have you tried the shower with your daughter? Good luck and I really think time will solve this!

Dear K.,

It seems like having a fit at bath time is a three year old thing. My great grandson is that age and he has been screaming for months !

I would suggest that you not give her a full bath for a couple of days and just sit her on the counter in the kitchen or the bathroom, where ever you have room and wash her off with a warm cloth and soap. This will give you both a breather and she may ask why she hasn't had a bath for a while, and you can tell her because you cry and I don't want to give you a bath when you are acting like that.

Then when you decide to go back to the bath, tell her before hand, that YOU HAVE DECIDED that you will start her baths again. Tell her to pick out her toys, and that now she is a big girl you want her to learn how to take her clothes off and give herself a bath (with your sneaky help) and then to dry herself and put her clothes on. You will have changed the whole senario and taken charge of it. We shall see if it will work. Good Luck,
C. N.

Hey K.,
Well, I have a positive solution (to maybe two things of yours). I see that you are looking to go back to work part time. Well, I am a Discovery Toys consultant. And DT just bought Do Re Mi and You - musical eduction through books and cds/dvds. They have one that is called Tubs Tunes. I just ordered it myself and it is on sale until the end of the month. But maybe with the toys and the fun bathtime cd it would make your daughter enjoy bathtime!!! You can check out my website... www.gotfuntoys.com.
If you are interested in working from home I would love to chat with you more!

Hope to talk to you soon!
B.
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Maybe you could try to sing her song a bathtime song before while you two are on your way to the bathroom. Also you can give her a five minute warning letting her know bathtime is going to be in five minutes and set a timer. You could have her pick out her own pjs and toys. Maybe take her to the store and buy her a towel with her fave character on it and tell her that the towel is her special bathtime towel. After my 3 year old son gets out of the bath I put the towel over him and we pretend that the towel is a magical dryer and I say ok give me a quarter so he pretends that he gives me a quarter and I dry him with the towel making dryer sounds and he loves it and gets excited so maybe playing a game with the towel after she gets out of the bath might work like playing peek a boo for a couple of minutes before she gets dress. Just making bathtime fun so she will look forward to bathtime.
Maybe talking to her about bathtime and finding out why she doesn't like it anymore.
Goodluck with everything.

My son was like this for a while, so I just let him come in the shower with me. He liked that alot better. Then he got some bath paints for chrismas and was all about that. :) Now it's fun for him. For sanitation reasons try the shower and just forget the shower for a while. ;) ~V.

My daughter was doing the same thing about a month ago (she is 2 1/2) I remembered that my sister had bought us some color tablets for christmas that change the bath water to different colors when you drop them in. I tried it one night seeing if different color water would entice her to get in and have fun and sure enough it worked. Now when I mention bath time she starts shouting out the color she wants and gets all ready to get in. They are made by Crayola and I think you can get them at most places (wal-mart, k-mart, toy r us) Hope this helps and good luck..

Mine recently started that too... I couldn't figure it out. My sister (a long time RN and pediatric nurse) said sometimes they need to cry and have a fit to get some of that energy out before bed. Maybe they realize they are going to bed soon or are over tired and need to get it out. My oldest did it as a baby after bath... then as they settled, it just so happened they were ready for bed. If the frustration gets to you, just chalk it up to this is her way of getting out extra energy to settle down for you. It makes it easier to look at it that way, however, I know it is very stressful to listen to it.