My Son Hates the Bath!

Updated on October 24, 2008
K.K. asks from Denver, CO
22 answers

My son is now 16 months old. About one month ago, we moved him from his inflatable bathtub to the big bathtub. We put a mat in on the floor and bumpers around the edges. We have a ton of toys in the tub. He used to love his tub time and played a ton and didn't ever want to get out of the tub. Since we moved him, he cries and sometimes even shakes when we put him in the tub. Bath time is now no fun for us all! He sits really still and doesn't like when any of his toys get near him. He REALLY hates getting his hair washed, but is unhappy every time he goes in the bath.

What can we do? Did we take him out of his inflatable tub too early? Is there something we can do to make this time better? I am pretty set on him having a bath every night before bed, but I am starting to wonder if it is really worth it!

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P.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Get in with him! He probably feels overwhelmed by the size and he would feel better if mom is enjoying it too!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My dd went through a phase at that age as well where she no longer liked baths. I got in with her sometimes and it helped some days. Some days even that didn't seem to stop her fears. One of my sisters gave us some bath paints (it's soap but works like finger painting...) she came over and bathed my daughter to break up the routine and gave her the paints and had a great time with her. It got us through that round of bath freak out...that was the only thing we used in the tub and she washed herself in all kinds of fun colors as well as drawing on the tub and me and once...the dog.

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J.R.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My son just went through this too, twice. It's very common for toddlers to develop fears of things they have always enjoyed. My son became afraid first when we moved him to the big tub; he became afraid again a few weeks ago after he had been in the big tub for almost 9 months.
I want to let you know that I feel it's important to respect him as a person, so this is what leads my advice. His fears are very real to him, even if they don't make sense to you, so be gentle. I know, my parents make fun of me for this, and it frustrates my husband, but I think it's important for raising a child with a healthy self image and self esteem. So, to me the most important thing is to not force them if they are afraid.
This is what worked for us the first time he was afraid. In our case, he was so afraid of the big tub, he wouldn't even bathe with me initially, so, we put him back in the little tub, temporarily (beware, his fear could just be a fear of the water in general, not the big tub). Then we slowly tried to get him used to the big tub - this actually only ended up taking about a month. We would fill up the tub, stand him by the side, and let him play with the water and his toys (with parental supervision of course). Then, every other day, in the morning (because it's easier to conquer our fears when we are not tired) we would take off his clothes, and tried to slowly get him in the tub. First we would put his hands in, which he liked, and would splash around. Then we would try putting his feet in the tub; after a few tries he was okay with that too. When he was okay with feet, he would stand in the water and let us wash him. After a little of that, we tried to get him to sit. He wouldn't, but now he would get in the tub with me. After a few baths with me, he was okay sitting in the tub. Then we moved his bath back to bedtime, which he was okay with. Of course, if he doesn't fit in his inflatable tub anymore, or is afraid of the water, you will need to find another way of washing him temporarily. I would try either showering with him, which some kids like, or a sponge bath. You could even try washing him in the big tub without any water in the tub.
The second time, it was a combination fear of the faucet and power struggle - he recognized that bathtime signaled the start of bedtime and didn't want to go to bed. Initially, he was only okay taking baths with me, so frequently I would bathe with him and turn on the faucet and let him watch/ help. Since I was with him, it helped him feel okay. Then, when he still wouldn't bathe by himself, we changed his bathtime to the morning again. He wouldn't sit in the tub, but would stand in a little water and let us wash him. Standing was okay with him because he could hug me and hold on to me when he was feeling scared - plus easy tub escape. We also let him help fill the tub, so he could see that the faucet wasn't scary. After a few days, he would sit in the tub again. Not at bedtime though. And our son's grip is nearly impossible to get off, so we tried offering choices like - do you want mommy or daddy to give you a bath? Would you like a green or blue towel, etc. That helped a little, but what really helped the bedtime bathtime battle was the bubble bath. The bubble bath REALLY REALLY helped. He is now absolutely excited about bathtime.
You may have to try lots of ideas before you find something that helps him not be afraid. Pretty much, you will just have to be patient. There's that word again...I guess pretty motherhood is about being patient. Sigh.
My friends also gave me lots of other ideas based on what worked for them, so if this doesn't help, feel free to email me - ____@____.com, for more ideas.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.P.

answers from Salt Lake City on

for some kids moving to a big tub is terrifying, there is too much room. Get in the bath with him show him that it's not scary and play with his toys with him. Then see if his next bath is ok, if it's not get back in with him the next time. Alternating so it doesn't become a habit! :)
Good luck!!

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A.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

No, you dind't take him out to early...probably MUCH TOO LATE. Both of my kids have gone strait into the big tub from bath number 1, and they loved it. All the kicking and the splashing they could do, and never any fear.

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S.M.

answers from Casper on

Maybe put the inflatable tub in the tub. As long as he gets clean he is fine. I only bathe my sons twice a week or so, and sometimes at that I just wash their bodies. They don't sweat like teenagers so I don't have to bathe them that often. Sometimes I just take a washcloth and wipe around their neck. As long as they smell allright and there is no visible dirt... Well good luck.

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S.B.

answers from Denver on

I never used an inflatable tub so not sure about this. However, have you tried a shower? I used to take a shower withour kids and they loved it. also, how much water are you using? about 2 inches is enough until they get older. have you ever tried getting in with him or siting up on the edge with your feet in? and no kid likes their hair washed. teach him to hold a towel over his eyes and put his head back. did you try bubble bath? Lastly, I found less toys better. Or have a basket he can select from. Oh, and have you taken him swimming at all? Oh, how about a "french" bath for a while. It is winter so he really isn't too dirty.

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K.K.

answers from Denver on

Have you tried getting in with him? Holding him in your arms and playing with the toys and with him too. I make the baby ducky call to his mommy and then the baby swims back to the big ducky and the big ducky saves him. Then he swims away again. I played it with the boys when they were little now at 4 yrs. and bathing by himself, I hear him playing it by himself. Now I play it with my baby grand daugher. She loves it. With the boys the baby duck cried daddy, daddy and the daddy duck saved and cuddled him. Just an idea but I bet he would love it. He would see that he was secure and that you were not afraid of the bath. I bet you would be more cozy than his old inflated tub too. ha-ha

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A.E.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Maybe you have too much stuff in the tub. Kids sometimes worry that their toys are going to go down the drain. He may be worried about that. I would take everything out and try bathing him with no toys or just one or two until he learns that he is too big to go down the drain and so are his toys. I also used to bathe my kids everynight but with 4 kids and a crazy schedule we don't always get them bathed every night so skipping a bath once in a while won't hurt him if you can't get him to calm down.

Good Luck

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K.D.

answers from Denver on

I agree that getting in the bath a few times with him should help--but you don't want to be stripping down each night just to get him in the tub. Here are my other suggestions: 1) Ease up on the bath schedule. Unless he had a particularly dirty day, it's ok to skip a day or two. My daughter has eczema and we can't bathe every day, but a good hand and face washing does just fine. 2) If you do take a bath, skip the hair washing and just let him play! 3) Take out all the toys and only add a few back at at time. Too much stimulus in this big scary tub might also be part of the problem. 4) My daughter was scared of the big noise of the water coming out of the faucet, so make sure that doesn't have something to do with it. Good luck.

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K.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

he hates it because it's different. he'll get used to it. sing church hymns, play...

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E.G.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I think every child hates taking baths at some point before they are 2. My son went from loving them to hating them in a day. He hated baths for about 5 months and now he loves them. It is a stage. I just try different things to find out what could make him happy. Sometimes it's songs, sometimes it's silly sounds or words. But the phase will pass, you sort of just have to deal with it.

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A.M.

answers from Denver on

If it's an older cast iron tub, like mine, the water may be too cool for him. My sons hated it until I started making it a little warmer and putting more water in the tub. My older son hates to have his hair washed as well b/c he doesn't like water on his face or in his eyes. I bought him some swim goggles and he loves to wear them in the tub. It helps keep water out of his eyes when rinsing his hair and he feeld like a superhero. GL

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S.W.

answers from Denver on

Put the inflatable bathtub inside the big bathtub for awhile to create a comfort zone. He will soon transition. Years ago we used to go to Jackson Lake. Our two older children loved playing along the shore in the water. Our youngest son, about the same age, was terrified of it. We filled his baby bathtub and placed it on the shore near the water. We kept moving it forward until it was half in the water. He was out of the tub and in the lake in no time. He learned to love the water, swim, and water ski as he grew up. He is an adult today with two children who love the water and boating as much as he does. Of course, he had to transition one of his daughters the same way. Good luck. This is just a phase.

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S.T.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My son is 18 months. He loves his bath time more than just about anything! I never used a infant bath with him though. I used to get in the tub with him and just support him until he got old enough to support himself. And even then I used to get in there and play and interact with him. At about 12 months I let him get in by himself and I would just sit next to the tub. But whenever he is sick I still get in to give him the reasurence I'm there. I think if he is having a hard time maybe try throwing on a swimsuit and jumping in there with him and see if he likes it anymore. If he does do it a couple more times and maybe he will get used to the tub and love bath time again. Good luck!

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J.H.

answers from Billings on

I would just put him back in the old t ub. Is there a reason he can't still use it? Maybe he's not ready for the big tub yet.

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D.T.

answers from Denver on

Got any fingerpaints? Wet the tub and tub walls, give him some fingerpaints in small containers and let him paint the tub, walls and himself. Then you have to 'clean up' the tub and him. If your grout isn't well sealed take care of that first or the color will sink in

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J.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Maybe he's not used to the depth of the water. Try to keep it as shallow as the baby tub was. The toys won't float as much and he may feel more in control. (It might not be the water itself, but the buoyancy it gives him, that freaks him out)

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T.B.

answers from Boise on

How does he do if you bath him in the sink? He may seem old for it but it might help him get used to the tub feeling. Just smaller. My youngest would freak out when we bathed her in the big tub. but she did way better in the sink. With the hair though it took time and me reassuring her that I was right there and she was safe to stop the screaming. She has no problems taknig a bath in the big tub now or getting her hair washed.

Also have youtried bubbles? My kids adore them and they make the big tub seem smaller

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J.A.

answers from Denver on

I have never used an inflatible tub, but evidently your son was attached to his. I would put him back in it. He will outgrow it when he is ready.

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

He weighs probably too much for the blow up bath, that is geared towards babies I think that cannot sit up well. Check the box for weight limit but my daughter hated baths until we got her a bath chair, suctions to the bottom of the tub and you still need to be right there obviously but it surrounded her on all sides and she felt more secure. Change is hard for kids and continual exposure and your reassurance is the best way to get him over it.

I will note living in Colorado, kids do not need a bath every night, especially in fall/winter. Unless he is super dirty, wiped him down with a warm wash cloth before bed. I was told by my Pediatrician and dermotologist that bathing nightly is really h*** o* kids and their skin in dry climates. They just don't need it nightly. Both of my kids get one every other day and take showers now at 4 and 7, much easier, faster and they get cleaner then sitting in dirty water in my opinion.

As far as his hair, you can get these nozzle things that hook on your spout on the bath tub and turn them into like a shower nozzle, much softer water flow and not as scary. Or you can get bath visors. My son hated his hair getting washed but I started letting him help me do it and things changed after a while. Just hang in there.

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J.D.

answers from Denver on

My husband and I take turns sitting in the bath with our daughter. We love it. It's great time together--time to cuddle, splash and play. She loves the time with mom and dad and therefore isn't scared of the shampoo. Try it and it might become something fun for you to do together. Best of luck!

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