3 1/2 Month Old Son Refuses to Take the Bottle

Hi M.. My daughter did the same thing when I tried going back to work after 4 months. Nobady could watch her without crying themselves. It was so frustrating for everyone. She was so attached to my breast that she wouldn't suck on anything else. She never took a pacifier either. I ended up sending breast milk to daycare and babysitters in a sippy cup with the rubber flow control thing taken out so she wouldn't really have to suck. It worked really well and her caretakers were impressed at her ability to use a sippy at such a young age. I also tried spoon feeding breast milk, which worked well, but you have to have someone willing to take the time. Hope this helps.

Well if all else fails you could use a syringe to just squirt his milk/formula into his mouth.

Good luck!

Hi M.,
I don't have personal experience with this, but I am a big supporter of breastfeeding and have heard this idea from other doulas. You could try to "feed" your son with a sippy cup or something quite different than a rubber nipple and see how he likes that. If you are still at your wits end after trying whatever suggestions come in, email me directly(____@____.com) and I'll pass your question on to the doulas list where there are often lots of good suggestions.
Hope that helps.
- M.

Dont know if it will work but it is worth a try...have the person feeding him snuggle the shirt you wore the night before next to him so that he gets your smell and you can also try getting one of those bottles that is shaped like a breast. Good luck to you!

Be patient, mine were the sameway but hopefully he will get it pretty soon. :)

Meagan, I have a 21 month old daughter that is still nursing some, so don't despair. I have worked part to full-time since she was 12 weeks. Will your baby take a bottle of breast milk?? I was fortunate that mine would, so I pumped and sent the milk to the sitter. I had to try different bottles before she would take one well. She was very particular, & only took the playtex nurser for the sitter & would ONLY take the Dr. Brown's from me if I didn't nurse. You may also have to have your husband try to bottle-feed without you being in the house at all (you may have already done this). Mine would not want a bottle if she knew I was anywhere near. You may also need to find a in-home sitter/friend to keep your child, so that they will have more time together without the chaos of large daycare. These are just some thoughts & ideas. Hope this helps.!!! Best wishes...B.

Relax...I breast fed my kids until they were 11 months old and getting them to use a bottle was one of the hardest things I had to do. I would suggest that when you are at home You try to bottle feed once a day. Be patient, It's not going to happen over night. I found that in the afternoon when we got settled down I was able to sit and hold my baby in the same position as nursing and I was able to get her then to take a bottle. Just remember your baby will eat when it is hungry and your little one will be fine. Again be patient and relax your doning a great job.

Dear M.,

Consider experimenting with different nipple shapes, like the one that is more breast like, from one step ahead. If you are not ready to stop nursing, explore the possibility of pumping your milk at work. Many employers allow this, I did it myself while working as a helicopter flight nurse. Of course, the times I was interrupted for a flight were a real bummer, but I was able to continue nursing until my daughter weaned herself at 9 months. Also consider another provider who is more patient with infants, and try giving him the bottle with your milk in it. You may want to have your spouse/significant other do it while you leave the house entirely-and if you do pump, breast milk can be frozen, and you may want to consider that-it does have a long shelf life. Also, try doing the bottle on your time off,work with him at a time that is relatively mellow. The dust bunnies can wait, set aside some time for you to work on the bottle, and try to not stress too much, I rambled some, but I hope this will help you through this tough problem.

Sincerely,

N. F, married mom of 2 that were both breastfed

My daughter, now 2 1/2 years old, was also breast fed and fought the bottle. She eventually took it, since she had to eat somehow while I was gone. I even delayed my going back to work, but luckily at that point I was able to do that. Some suggestions: using a dropper, a spoon so as not to lose nourishment, while practicing with a bottle. La Leche League is a great support for breastfeeding (and working)moms--their website is www.lalecheleague.org.

My son refused to also. I would pump breast milk and he still wouldn't take the bottle. At 4 months they can eat rice cereal (get some sweetened with fruit) and that made all the difference for my son. It tasted sweet and different and he'd take a bottle much better after that, even with formula if it had the rice cereal in it.

This is the experience of how my baby took his first bottle. If a child is hungry enough, they'll take a bottle. He won't starve to death before he does. Honestly. One day we went on a 7-hour road trip and I was determined to use that time to force my son to take a bottle so people wouldn't hate babysitting him anymore. So he hadn't nursed for a couple of hours before we left, and shortly after our trip started he acted hungry, so I gave him the bottle of pumped breast milk. He turned his head and cried. He wouldn't take it. It was hard to do, and the crying nearly drove us crazy, but I thought better me than some poor babysitter go through this and it ended up being worth it. At the very end of our road trip (about 9 hours since he had last eaten) he still refused to take the bottle. So I leaned over and put my breast in his mouth, then quickly inserted the bottle nipple and pulled out my own. It took a couple of tries, but by that time he was so hungry that he finally sucked and drank the whole bottle. The next time he wanted food, I did the same thing until he got used to it. The next day at the beach he was fine and would take the bottle from my husband or me, and so from then on I just kept it up after that. I would nurse him throughout most of the day, but I tried to make sure that he took a bottle at least once a day to keep him used to it. At 4 months I could start adding rice cereal and that really helped because he liked it. And even though he took a bottle once a day, that didn't create problems with nursing. I still nursed him until he was 1 years old.

Hi M.,

Have you tried pumping at all...I have three kids and found it to be easier each time. If you give your baby the pumped milk (or send it to daycare) he may supplement with the formula nd take the bottle better. And you will not have to stop nursing completely. Just a thought....

Good luck!!
L. in Albuquerque

M.,
I am a mother of 3 and have been a licensed childcare provider for 4 years. I have had a child in my daycare that would not eat from the bottle, he was also breastfed. We tried everything to get him to take it, then one day, I happened to have 2 children drinking from bottles at that time, I cleaned out and gave him the other child's bottle with HIS milk in it, and he took it! So... as experience has deemed (I had this problem with one of my own children too) just try a different style of bottle with a different type of nipple and you should get what you are looking for with some trial and error. I would recommend trying the Playtex nurser bottles, or Advent (but I have had better luck with the playtex series). Good luck, let me know if it works!
S.

hi, my son was the opposite, he wouldn't atch onto me. But for the first 3 months he didn't like the bottle either I finally changed from the playtex bag style to a smaller nipple size like gerber or munchkin. It fixed our problem, I have a friend that breast fed and bottle, she used nuks. Good luck. I would find a new provider anyways anyone not patient enough to deals wih an infants eating issues may not the the right one anyways, I am a provider and would try just about anything with out giving up on a child. My opinion.

M.,

I can understand your frustration! My daughter did the same. Try giving him your milk from a sippy cup. It is a different way that is not similiar to the breast.

Have you tried different bottles and nipples? Sometimes they can have a preference from that.

Hope that helps!

N.

I'm sure that you have tried different nipple types, but One Step Ahead has a bottle that is shaped like a breast. It looks a little funny, but myabe your little guy would take to that easier. You can order it from thier catelog or online. Their website is www.onestepahead.com . Good luck. I hope that he takes a bottle for you soon.
L.

Have you tried looking on Kellymom.com for answers. My son refused to take a bottle as well, he actually threw one at me at 4mo old. I ended up just breastfeeding him....it works for us. I hope you can find some answers or a daycare who can be more willing to work with you.
Don't give up.

Hi M.,

I know your frustrations first hand. I never gave my son a bottle until he was about 2-3 months old and he had no idea what to do with it. It took about a week for him to know what the bottle was. I still nursed him most of the time, but gave him a bottle a few times a day so he wouldn't forget how to use a bottle. I was not working so I had time to work this through with him. For us personally the best bottles and nipples that finally seemed to work were the Dr. Brown bottles and nipples. I tried all kinds of bottles and nipples until some other breastfeeding mothers told me about these.

I don't know if you are pumping, and giving him your milk, but that will also help him adapt to the bottle. Switching from breastmilk to formula was harder for us then getting him on the bottle.
Don't get frustrated, he will adjust either way to the situation. I know of a friend who's baby never took the bottle and she was in daycare all day too. She would wait all day and not drink milk until she nursed at home. She went right to a sippy cup around 7-8 months, but still nurses at once at night at 18 months.
Good luck!

First, I would find another daycare provider that is more understanding of your situation and more patient with your child.
My son did the same thing. When he was that age, he would rather wait the 8 hours for me to pick him up than for him to drink breastmilk from the bottle. My daycare provider suggested the playtex bottles with the drop-in liner and they would just squirt alittle in his mouth. After a while, he would start to take a little more until he finally was used to both bottle and breast. Hang in there, he will be able to do both eventually.

Hi M.!
I am a doula and lactation educator in Tucson, AZ. I would suggest pumping your breastmilk and offering it to your baby while YOU have him at home. Maybe if he learns to bond with you in this way as well, he will begin to trust that he will get his milk from the bottle as well. Also, have dad try feeding him this way - so he doesn't associate you as the only one able to feed him. This will help the daycare providers to transition with him too.

It may be helpful to wait until he is hungry (not fussy-hungry) and attempt things. Place some breastmilk on the nipple of the bottle so he can "test" it. Hold him close and in a position as if he were receiving the breast, so that it feels familiar to him. Also, some babies prefer silicone nipples over rubber...and many respond better to nipple shapes that are most like mom's nipples. A final suggestion (but perhaps the most important) is to swaddle him snugly before starting so he will relax. A great swaddling blanket is at: www.miracleblanket.com

It's wonderful that he's breastfeeding so succesfully! I hope that some of these suggestions help ;)

-C. Kinstle, CD, CPD, CCBE, LE

M.- I am a postpartum doula and have a lot of clients with your same issue. It may be the type of nipple you are using, try different kinds (shape, fast flow vs. slow flow, though at that age slow is probably better, silicone vs. rubber), try putting something other than breast milk in the bottle at first (a small amount of water, or formula). He associates your breast with smell so he is confused about the type of delivery. Having you in the room will also make it more difficult. Hang in there with the breastfeeding, I hope you find a solution that works for you!
L. D.

Hi M.,

It sounds like there is more than the breastfeeding transition that is going on.

When I had my daughter and was breastfeeding I was advised to introduce her to the bottle as soon as possible if I planned to work. I tried in the first two weeks of my dtrs birth and it was a bit challanging but we took baby steps. First I would feed her once from the bottle. Once she adjusted to that I would continue one feeding a day from the bottle plus have my husband feed her once a day. I could not be in the same room if she heard my voice or me even moving around she would refuse and demand me to feed her.

I know you enjoy the bonding but, it would be best to slightly wean if he has to be in daycare. It is fine for him to go a few days w/o milk but more than that has its risks. Nutritional and dehydration. If you just started daycare that alone is a huge change for him, then to wean from the breast on top of that. It can be quite frustrating for the daycare too as they may have other children and babies to care for. I put my dtr in daycare at 12 weeks and it was hard for her even harder for me. I made sure the daycare center (Montessori) was very nurturing and loving. I paid more for this but it was worth every penny. It felt so good that since I wasn't around loving and caring for her, that she was in amazing hands. As a matter of fact, when we switched daycares, I was so attached to her favorite provider (she was the provider's favorite too) it was so hard for me. The provider loved Lexi so much and I felt I was tearing her away. We are still in touch with her, as anyone who loves and has treasured my dtr that much deserves to remain part of her life.

I know that's alot to think about. This entire transition does take time, but if you do this gradually it should work out. There is plenty of information in the internet and I am sure your sons doctor will have suggestions too.

Good Luck!

hello M., i went through the same thing with my baby when she was about a month older than your son...now she is 6 months old. my husband was staying home with her while i was at work during the day and she went for a few weeks without taking the bottle. at first we tried everything...from different bottles to different nipples, etc. finally my husband just stuck with one nipple but tried various environments and positions with her. for the first few weeks she wouldnt eat all day and them binge when i got home....it felt like she was b-feeding all night. but slowly but surely she took the bottle. my husband first started sticking it in her mouth when she was sleeping b/c she would suck in her sleep and not even realize that she was taking the bottle. that worked for a little while until she wisened up!. this may not work at day care but she loves the bath so he also tried the bottle in there while she was really relaxed and although she wouldnt drink it per say, she would mouth it and play with it so this was a start. we would let her play with it all day and keep it by her to het her familiar with it and then she started to explore it. he also stuck her in the high chair and put on a baby einstein video. this seemed to be the clencher b/c she was so enthralled with the video that she wasnt paying attention too much to the bottle. she also won't drink it unless it is very very warm.....just like the real thing. i feel your pain and know that it is very hard! i cried and cried when she wouldnt take the bottle and it was so hard to leave knowing that she wouldnt eat all day and that she was hungry. i too was not able to come home to nurse during the day.
a friend of mine says that her caregiver holds the bottle under her arm pit area and cradles the baby in the same position as we would when breastfeeding...this worked for her baby. can they try a different environment or a different person at the daycare..sometimes a new face or a change of scenery will do the trick. what about a little rice cereal just to fill his belly a bit with a spoon? even though he is young he may like this... i also have a friend that started her baby on a sippy cup at 4 months b/c he wouldnt take the bottle. he drank a little out of this during the day. good luck! i hope that i was able to give you a few ideas. now my baby (Olivia) takes the bottle a few times during the day and i nurse her in the morning, afternoon, and evening. it takes time....i though she was never going to take the bottle and at times i thought about giving up the b-feeding so she would have no other choice but to take it. but it all worked out in the end. hang in there and please email me if you have any other questions!
-J. Ice
mom of 6 month old olivia in castle rock

Breastmilk or formula? Make sure it is breastmilk in the bottle. Good luck!