21 Month Old Swatting Away People

Updated on October 12, 2010
K.0. asks from Edmond, OK
4 answers

I have a 21 month old son and for the past 6 or so months he has been swatting anyone or anything that comes in his way. For example: If we are in the grocery store or mall and someone walks by or looks at him he squeals or yells at them and then moves his arm back and forth. He also does it when we are paying for something, or when the dog is standing at the door. I am so tired of this, I have put him in time out when he does it at home and told him no that that is not how we treat people around us. I am about to loose it.
Also at playgroup he hits when a child gets close to him and does the same things (swatting away) with his friends he's known for a year. I am to the point of not going anywhere because I am so tired of dealing with it. If this has happened to you please give me some advice.

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

Time out with a verbal explanation is often less effective than giving positive messages and demonstrations about what you do expect from him. My daughter and my grandson both connect(ed) well to role-playing with toys or stuffed animals, and we've worked through many behavioral puzzles that way. The process also gives littles the language with which to tell what they want or need, and the acting out declines as they gain this power.

It might be helpful to know that sensory integration issues are pretty common, and it sounds as though your son might conceivably be uncomfortable and overstimulated when he feels "crowded" by other people. He may exhibit other traits, as well. You could use this checklist to investigate this possibility further, and the website gives lots of strategies and resources for helping kids cope better: http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-proces...

Good luck. Your son is at such an impulsive age, and he really doesn't have much control over that yet. As he becomes more verbal, he'll be able to ask for what he needs in a more civilized manner.

3 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

I think he is too young for time out, when obviously he is distressed and trying to verbalize his request for people to stay away from him. This is his protection.

Try to work with him.. enlist neighbors, teacher, older children, relatives to approach him with a safe hello . Teach him to wave instead of swat.

Have them stand far away and wave while calling his name. Sometimes you can hold him and sometimes he can just be on the floor.

Remind him to use his words. "Hello! "

Let him know "we do not hit", But we can say, "please do not touch".
"We do not swat. But we can wave softly and slowly. "

There are many children that really get creeped out at this age by anyone but their immediate family. This is his safety feeling and you need to let him rely on that. But you can also practice safe waves, hand shakes or a nice wink. so he can use those for greetings..

3 moms found this helpful
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V.M.

answers from Erie on

my answer would be similar, it seems that he is overstimulated by people being too close. can immediate family get that close to him or does he swat them too.

maybe if you play games with him were you start out a few feet away but then move closer gradually, that might help him to learn in a postitive way that it's ok to get close, It probably won't help much at playgroup since the other little ones move so quick, but in that instance try to have him play near the edge of the group so he has a little more space.
all people are different some need more personal room, you may want to mention it to a pediatrican though and see what they say.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.R.

answers from Tulsa on

Have your child assessed by a pediatrician. His behaviour might be normal or it might be the sign of a mild case of Autism. Either way, professional advice will help you to deal most effectively with your child. If it's just a "bad habit", you can try distracting him just before he starts his "swatting behaviour" - maybe at the checkout, give him something to hold. Unfortunately, as with most things in parenting, it's a case of trial and error until you find what works the best for both you and your son. Good luck! :)

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