21 Month Old Daughter in Daycare for the First Time & I Need Support

Dear K.,

I own a childcare center and I know it is h*** o* you but just give her time and she will adjust. I have had many crying mommies in my office feeling just like you are right now. One thing that I do is the week before they are starting full time I have the child visit for an hour a day so that when they start full time they are somewhat familiar with the teachers and the children in their class. It really does cut down on the crying and it is easier on everyone, the child, mommy, and the teachers. I am not sure why most centers do not recommend it because it really does work and cut down on the tears. It should get better each day and the crying will get less and less. Do not be alarmed if she still cries at drop off because sometimes that will go on for a while, that doesn't mean she is crying all day. Most kids will stop as soon as mommy leaves. If the teacher is able to engage her in activities and distract her she should adjust within a few weeks. Children that go full-time usually adjust quicker then the children who just attend a few days a week because it becomes part of their routine. Is it possible when you pick her up you can have her show you around a little and maybe play for a few minutes with her so she can really explore the center while she feels the security of having you near. I wouldn't recommend this at drop off because it will only prolong the crying but at pick up time it may be a special time for you both to share. Also try to be upbeat and positive if she picks up on your anxiety she will be anxious. As much as it is breaking your heart just keep reassuring her that mommy loves her and you will be back soon. I hope this helps if there are any other questions just reach out. Good luck!!

Oh, I remember, that. I am sooooo sorry. I hope this does not sound heartless is anyway but, it has only been 1 day, the two of you have some adjusting to do, it will get easier. G-Ma will be coming back soon and this is only temperary. My oldest went through it and it is normal for some seperation anxiety. We also watch my neighbors son and he is about that age, he started coming to us at 18 months and it used to be mommy or daddy and now due to the divorse daddy is not home to watch him he used to cry but the deversion skills that a daycare would use works wonders. They have their moments but for the most part are just fine.

Allow yourselves time to adjust before throwing in the towel. Cheer up you are a great Mom, and she knows you love her. YOU ARE NOT BEING A MEAN MOMMY!!!

It will be a learning experience for you both! It will be hard at first (for both), but she will learn different things in different ways and have fun making friends and perhaps you will meet some other moms too! That is great that she is in your same building!

You poor thing! Your little one will be ok, but that doesn't make it easy for you!

Such a good mama. Let yourself be upset, and let yourself go through this. And once she's comfy and happy at her school, you'll realize how lucky you are to have her so close to you!

Again...Diane is spot on!

With my experience in daycare, preschool & kindergarten, the crying really does not last that long. Most teachers who work with young children know exactly what to do to help engage & distract kids to help them feel comfortable. She'll be fine. Really. And it is wonderful that you have the luxury of being so close to her in the building! That has to bring you some comfort. :)

My best to you!
A.

K.,

I have a 2 year old and am considering daycare. She's with me mostly and has a sitter 2 days a week. I am taking on some work and am considering daycare.....it breaks my heart thinking about it...but, I believe that we have to raise our children to be ok to leave us...they need to know that they will be ok and you need to leave her with "i'll see you later" and pick her up with "so, what did you do today?"...make sense? Talk to the teachers...make sure they understand your angst and that they should make sure that they pay special attention when you drop her off...will make the morning transition easier for both of you....the pick up is great...she will run to her mommy that she missed today...and she can tell you (or show you) all the new things that she learned...or played...or painted today. make sense?

I put my daughter in daycare at the same age. It's a tough adjustment but you will both be fine. It's great that it will only be for 6 weeks and in fact, it may go so well that you may choose to give your mom a couple of days off and keep your daughter in there PT.

I cried too! That's what mommies do. But it will get easier in a few days. Just keep reminding yourself that she will be with other children and enjoying herself.