20 Month Old Doesn't like Me!

Hi S.,
Your email brought back memories of my son at that age. I'll never forget when he looked at me and flat-out said, "Mommy, I don't like you, I like DADDY!" And another time when we were at a hot springs, my husband had to hand him to me so he could get out of the hot springs. My son shrieked with terror, "NO NO NO I WANT MY DADDDDDDY!!!!" You'd have thought I was a child abductor!

Now he's 15, and has gone back and forth between us, being close to one of us, then the other, then both, and on it goes. As the others said, this too shall pass! Just hang in there, enjoy some time for yourself, and before you know it, you'll be the favorite again!

All the best,
D., the PianoMAM :)

My son is now almost five, but as crazy as this may sound, he did not like me from day one. If he had the choice to nurse or be bottle fed by his dad, he would refuse to nurse. I am not kidding at all! Things got easier as he got older, age three was the turning point. He gradually became more loving and sensitive to my feelings, especially when his dad would encourage him to. Now he spontaniously comes up and kisses me. Be patient, dont take it personally (I know how hard that can be) and be receptive when he does come to you (like durring the day when you are the only one around). Good luck!

Hi S.,
Your not alone. My 17 month old daughter has been doing the same thing for the past month. Just the two of us during the day, we're great! But as soon as my DH gets home, I become invisible. At first it really hurt my feelings, but realize that she doesn't get as much time with her daddy as she does with me. I am very blessed because my DH loves the time with her in the evening. He feeds her dinner, plays chase and reads her books, and puts her to bed. We have talked about this and he doesn't mind the evening routine. As a matter of fact he enjoys it and I enjoy the break at the end of the day. It is a funny thing though, on an evening when my husband isn't home to put her to bed, she goes down just fine for me. More than likely this is just a phase like all the others, hopefully your DH is enjoying his time with your son and you can rest easy knowing that this too will pass.

I believe that your child has noticed that dad is gone through out the day and is now looking to spend time with dad. I have four children and three of them went through this and the baby is too young still. I believe that your children get to a point that they notice that you are the one who is ALWAYS there for them and that the other isn't. I believe it is them being old enough to take notice and trying to get the attention they aren't getting from the other parent. I don't believe that they realize that they are hurting your feelings, and would really feel bad if they knew it was. It is like sharing...we teach them to share their toys and this is a time when we have to share our parenting. We tend to take it personal and it isn't. We in general will always be the care takers and be over looked until they really need us, but the parents who work away from the house are the ones who are sought after for attention. I know from personal experience they do grow up and realize who is the one who does everything for them. I am told that when they get their own kids we become saints!!! Sometimes being the best mom you can be is to realize that your feelings need to take a back seat for what your children need, to feel connected to their other parent.

My now three year old son has switched on and off for the past year and a half who is his favorite. Currently he is on a mommy trend and won't allow my husband to take him potty, help him dress, put his shoes on, etc. Take comfort that it will pass and just take advantage of the time you do have to yourself and the time you can spend with your other children. No matter what age your children are, they will always enjoy mommy time, even if they are too cool and don't act like it.

Funny as there are ten million men out there laughing because this happens to them daily!! :)
Men are usually the ones that get this treatment. I doubt seriously that your 20 mos old doesn't like you, it is more he favors your husband. It is always normal for a child to shift gears and fine one favorite. I am sure your son will come around, sneak all those snuggles/cuddles in BEFORE your hubby gets home. I am sure he will switch gears again and you will be the object of his affection, hee hee. Hang in there!