2 Year Old Staying up Until 10Pm

SH gives such good advice, and one thing she said reminded me of something that worked with my daugbter, and still helps me when I have trouble quieting my mind.

I used to put on some special "pretty go-to-sleepo music". It was soft, and soothing. She liked classical piano or native american flute or something like that. No lyrics. She liked it and I would put it on low. She had to settle in to hear it, and since it was so restful it would help her go to sleep.

It helps to have a few different CDs so you can change them around if they get tired of or too used to one. You could start with one and if it helps.

Hope this helps.

You could be talking about my daughter too who is now 3. What works for us is cherry juice and a walk before bed. Cherry juice has natural melatonin in it. I get it from Trader Joe's with no added sugar called "Just Cherry". I give it to her about 3 PM diluted with water, we used applejuice to cut it at first. (If given later like before bed or with dinner she would get to hypped up before bed.)This is the only juice she gets during the day. Dried cherries or fresh works too. Then after dinner we take a walk as a family. Then we come home for bathes and bedtime routine. The family time together helped her see what we all do to get ready for bed. Now she goes down for the night 8:30-9. Not perfect yet but we are still working on it. My son goes to bed at 7:30 and he is 5.5. We always go to the park everyday or do something physical to keep her body busy.

Hi D.! This may not be as cut and dry as you stated, but it seems to me the only solution is to not give him a nap. He goes to bed "on time" when he doesn't have one, seems to sleep until early in the morning, so it seems like a win-win situation. Maybe I'm just not getting something here :( except that he is cranky and difficult to deal with. My question is, how long are the naps when he does take them? Is it possible to cut down on the nap time, so that he still takes a nap, therefore is not cranky, but doesn't get enough of a nap that he stays up all night? I'm not sure about this one.. sorry. Good luck with this one!!

Hi D.. My son will be two in November, and he, too, (left to his own devices) would be a night-owl. Personally, I think it's kind of early to do away with the nap altogether, but that's just my opinion. What I HAVE discovered is that the time of his nap is crucial. Ideally, his nap will happen from 11-12, or 12-1 (sometimes he'll sleep 90 minutes...I'm not a rigid schedule person, we are often on the go, and sometimes these naps happen in his stroller, sometimes in his bed).....once in awhile he doesn't fall asleep until almost 2...on these days I only let him sleep one hour....in other words, I wake him up at 3. If he sleeps past 3, he's up until 10, absolutely. Also, I have his little butt at the playground every afternoon.......3 mornings a week we're at a Mommy and Me yoga class (that I teach and he really loves)....so, I keep him moving for sure. Anyway, this definitely works, he's in bed by 8-8:30 for the night, and up between 6&7. I hope this helps a little! Oh, one last thing...if your son has by-passed his nap (like it's 3 and he hasn't slept yet), you can let him take a 10-minute cat-nap, but no more than that. This has happened to us once in a blue moon where he'll bypass his nap and then start falling asleep in the car on the way home from the store or something. 10 minutes is obviously not a good nap, but for whatever reason it seems to be enough to avoid those "super-crankies"!

I have been reading a book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. I recommend buying it to help you with your son's sleep issues. This is a fantastic book that gives sleep solutions for all age ranges and for all kinds of kid's temperaments. I believe this will be the best expert advice you can get.

Lay down with him, holding him. All lights off so it's totally dark and he has to depend on you...no talking allowed...it's the lesser of two evils in that it will take you to do this nightly or stay in the same predicament you're in. It wont last forever. No naps either duringt the day. Get up in the morning early.

Wendy

D. I am in the same boat! My twins will be 3 next month and Zoey would be up til 10 also. My husband leaves for work at 4am so we had no "mommy and daddy" time. For the past month, we have cut out naps. I still make them do quiet time. They do get cranky, but we have activities to push through that. Coloring, Wrestling with Daddy, Reading books or Cartoons. I try to stay patient and keep them focused on an activity to minimized the whine. Our "mommy and daddy time" is much better. I hope this helps.

Is there some way to perhaps put your son in daycare/preschool? At this age, they do get more active and need other kinds of stimuli. Perhaps for your son, it will tire him out... and they do have naps at this age... and maybe it will get him more regular?

Also, is it possible to separate your son and daughter? Being in the same room is creating sleep problems for him... and disturbances for your girl... and you/hubby having to run interference so he does not wake his sister. At this age...it will probably continue, until he matures enough to where he can "not" wake his sister. For us, we have to separate our kids...otherwise they do NOT sleep, or they wake up the other.

I remember my daughter at this age.. she too went through a "phase" like this... she would not want to sleep, wanted to stay up, wanted to keep playing, wanted our "company" while she fell asleep, on and on. Yah, it was tiring and took a lot of patience. But she grew out of it. It took encouragement from us, talking to her, incentives etc. But in the end... all the strict or flexible methods we used didn't work. She is just so cerebrally active that it takes her time to "quiet" her mind, and then fall asleep. My son on the other hand can sleep no problem.

At other times, we would just tell her that WE are going to bed. We'd get ready, turn off the lights, and hop into bed. Yes, she was left there, "surprised" that we actually went to bed... and then she would go to bed "too." Sure, we kept our eyes and ears open and watched her & how she reacted...but we tried the reverse psychology thing. And, at times, it DID make her go to bed. Because then the entire house was dark and no one was awake to "play" and no other choice for her.

Also at this age, they are changing so much, cognitively, and it throws off their routine/ability to sleep. Just KEEP to your bed routine/times/schedule... and keep it consistent. He will return to regularity. But it may take time. It's a bump in the road now. But keep enforcing it.

At other times, at this age, my girl would ask if she could just sleep on the floor... this was a phase she went through. We let her. It made her sleep. She'd get blankets and pillows and make "her spot" all comfy and then she'd settle in, and start to drift off and fall asleep. We let her do this, and sooner or later, she passed this phase and then went back to her bed.

Also, kids need a "wind-down" time before sleep. I have quiet time pre-sleep... so that they are not all keyed up when they do hit the sack. I even turn off the lights except for one, and make the room dim... then get them ready for bed.

Another thing is homeopathic sleep aids for kids. My friend used the "Hyland's Calms Forte" when they go on trips. She said it's great. There are no contraindications on it. You can probably get it at any natural food store or Amazon.

I know it's not easy, and your and Hubby's schedule is not easy either... it is probably a phase... but who knows how long it will last. Each child is different. For our girl, at that age... well, it was a 2 year old thing. She was not naughty or obstinate about it... she just could not go to sleep and she was changing so much. We never punished her for it.. but we tried our best to keep to our bed routines. Eventually she got better at it.

All the best,
Susan

This is just my opinion, but the 2 year old age is about testing boundaries and pushing the limits to see what they can get away with. My first thought when you said "he stays awake until 10" was...why do you let him? Personally, I just don't believe that different kids need different amounts of sleep just because each kid is different. Just like each kid needs the same amount of vitamins and nutrients in his diet, each kid needs enough sleep to be healthy. I'm personally really strict with my son about his sleep because he becomes crazy (as 2 year olds often become) when he doesn't get enough. My son goes in his crib by 7:30-8:00, and just knows that it's bedtime and that I won't come get him just because he tantrums. Almost always he just goes right to sleep on his own. I had to teach him to be this way though. My advice would be to stay in control, and make sure he knows that. Tell him it's time for bed, that he has no other option, and tell him the consequences for getting out of his bed once he's in. 2 year olds (especially) really need boundaries, and if I were in your position I would do everything I could to be strict about this and follow through. You and your husband need that time together! Good luck.

D.,
I also have a 2 year old who likes to stay up late, but I find the more active we are during the day, the more tired he is at bed time and the more easliy he goes down. I like the walk ideas from the other moms.

Good luck,
M.

Hi, I am a sleep consultant. Check out my blog at kidstosleep.blogspot.com

I would say try an earlier nap 12:30pm or so, a consistent and short bedtime routine, turn off the lights, maybe try some sort of noisemaker (so he isn't intrigued by sounds from the rest of the house), maybe a sticker chart where he gets a sticker each night he goes to bed at 7:30 and some sort of small prize after 5 nights of that. Also, check out past posts on my blog I addressed similar issues.

good luck.

Dear D.,

He is just getting more confidence with his maturing brain and using it. You need to put him down for a short nap right after lunch, and you sure that it is short, not past 2:00 or earlier. If he doesn't sleep, then o.k., but he has to stay on the bed, so that his body will rest anyway. He is cranky because he needs the rest and you have to be his 'coach' and get him to rest, you can't get him to sleep, he will finally give in and do that himself, so don't worry about that.

Warm bath, warm milk, warm cozy story, and to bed at the time you want him to be there. Don't let him get up if you have to put him back 15 times. He will finally get the idea, may be he will cry, maybe not, but in bed he stays, even if you have to sit on the floor at the bedroom door, without talking, until he falls asleep. It could get dramatic, but you will be successful, and also, Dad will be proud of you. Important because he gets up soooo early. That sounds like torture to me. I am a true sissy.
Good Luck, C. N.

Hi D.,
Wow that has got to be exhausting! I would try mandating a rule for your son that he can go to bed and stay up as late as he wants to, but he can't wake up his sister. Anotherwords, he must be quiet. He also has to wake up ontime to matter what time he goes to bed. My kids are 11 and 12,but my rule for them has always been go to sleep when you want to, but don't bother the rest of the household and wake up on time. after a couple of sleepy days they do get it and tend to police themselves. I hope this helps you. J.

Every child IS different - no doubt about it. I have four boys, and every one of them was different when it came to naps, sleeping patterns, etc. Three of them are over the age of 20 now (the youngest is 8) and their sleep patterns have not changed. The one who needed less sleep since infancy, who rarely napped after the age of 12 months, still needs less sleep than most people. My sleepiest baby and child is now 21 and still sleeps a lot.

As for your son, it seems evident that you need to either cut his naptime in half, turn it into rest time, or cut it out completely. Whichever works best to bring his bedtime back down to his sister's. Him staying up until 10 is not a viable option for your family, so you need to eliminate the late bedtime. If he gets a bit cranky in the evening, know that it won't last forever. Good luck! And remember - these are the easy years, the "it's all good" days of parenthood. Enjoy them and all the little bumps in the road. There are big scary mountains ahead, but they are still far away. At this stage, it truly is all joy.

If it were me, personally, I would keep the boy awake during the day and put him to bed early!! I know it is hard when he gets cranky, but it really won't last forever, and you guys can try shifting dinner time to accommodate his moods if you need to, or just feed him early and let him crash when he needs to. You are a busy person, and unless you can figure out how to get the boy to play quietly in his bed and then fall asleep late at night, his bedtime is making you miserable. I would prefer to suffer for that hour or 2 at 6pm rather than be comatose at 10pm! good luck!