2 Year Old Crying When I Hold Other Babies

Updated on September 10, 2009
A.R. asks from Dallas, TX
4 answers

So I am sure many of you have experienced the same thing... so here goes. I am currently 20 weeks pregnant with my second child. A few days ago one of my good friends adopted a baby boy and we went to visit them yesterday. As soon as I held him she burst into tears... crying frantically. She has done this off and on for awhile, but I don't know what to do to make her not cry. I am just worried how she is going to react when a new baby is in the house. Will it be different since she will know it's her baby sister? I am just stressed about having another child and this is not helping. Any advice would be appreciated!

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.D.

answers from Dallas on

In my opinion this is totally normal and will change over time. All 3 of my kids did this and my 18 month old still has a fit if I hold another baby. When my oldest was 2 years and 3 months old I had my 2nd baby. For 2 weeks it was rough and you could see how this new family member had an effect on my son's behavior. After that though, he was totally fine and life was completely happy. When my 3rd child was born I thought that my little girl would have the hardest time since she was currently the "baby" and my oldest had already gone through welcoming a new baby into the house. Quite opposite; my daughter was great and never had any issues, but again, my son who was then 5 years old had another couple of weeks of hard adjusting. Your little girl will be great and love her new baby, of that I'm sure. Maybe you will go through that rough adjusting period and you might notice her behavior to be not the best, or maybe you won't and it will ne fine from the start! But don't stress anymore over that because all will be fine.:) Good luck to you!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.C.

answers from Dallas on

Funny, I was so concerned about the exact same thing when I was pregnant with my second b/c I also had an 18 month old at the time. The best advice that I can give is to enlist help not for youself so much, but to keep your 2 year-old busy with attention. Mine had some attachement issues when I came back from the hospital - not huge. However, she would cry everytime I left the room which she did not do that before. However, my parents came for the first week and just paid complete attention to my toddler while I focused on the new baby. That was the best thing that they ever did. Also, my parents got her a little special gift when the baby was born and she came to visit in the hospital. I enlisted her help right away with getting diapers; anything she wanted to do. She was excited about it, like it was a new toy. Honestly, it went pretty smoothly and my concerns vanished. However, the key is to make sure she doesn't miss the attention that she has gotten from you by surrounding her with lots of people that she loves and can give her attention. Also, the key is to make sure visitors that come over say "hello" to your older first before grabbing the baby. The baby doesn't know a thing; however, your older one does. That worked like a charm as well. Good luck!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.T.

answers from Dallas on

There will be an adjustment period no matter what. It's impossible for a young child to go from being their parents one and only to sharing them with a baby. My son took out all his frustrations on me when we brought our second son home. Even though I knew he was just expressing his feelings, it was still really hurtful to me, especially with all the hormonal changes I was experiencing. My advice would be to prepare yourself for whatever reaction your daughter has and be extremely patient and consistent with her. You want to let your older one get away with things they would never normally be allowed to get away with because you feel guilty, but that's not whats best for your child. Just do your best(with lots of help from your husband) to keep your daughter's life as routine and scheduled as possible. Just give everyone, including yourself, plenty of time to adjust and don't expect your daughter to be excited or love her new sibling at first(or maybe not for a long time). I hope something I wrote helps you through this adjustment period and congratulations and best wishes on your family's new addition!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.R.

answers from Dallas on

I'm sure she will have her periods of feeling needy after the baby comes, but what we found helpful was to give the siblings ownership. We always referred to the new baby as their baby, we are just taking care of it. ;-) Also, have her help (ie go get me a diaper, help with the diaper tab, hold the paci, pull up a chair to the sink and help with the bath). My kids would get mad at me for lack of attention, but didn't necessarily take it out on the new baby.

Hope that helps, and she will be fine. One thing I didn't expect when my second came along, was actually MYSELF feeling jealous of Dad getting to do all the fun toddler stuff and play with the older sibling. Just a heads up!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions