Toddler 2 Year Old Biting - Orland Park, IL

Hi Jenni ,
I know how you feel my son just turned 2 and was a biter for about 3 months , it got so bad that his day care almost expelled him . He would bite the same little girl for no reason . The day care watched him closely and when he got frustrated they took him out of the situtation , but also allowed him to keep his binky with him at all times so if he got upset he could use it. Time outs work very well with him ,if he did bite someone they would focus on the child and not him and make him say sorry , also my son liked the reaction it caused so focus on the child that got bite verses her . More importantly remember she sense things are changing with the new baby due any day now and this is her way of getting your attention ,she will probably bite for a little while after your 2nd child is born but just remeber to keep her busy being the big sister . My son grew out of the phase and is a great little guy . Hang in there .

Hi Jenni,
I also have a 2 year old daughter and we went through this very same thing. She would act like she was going to hug or kiss us then she would bite. Do you know why she is biting? ie: is she teething? Maybe try giving her a teething ring. I kept mine in the freezer so it would help numb her gums if this is the case. If she is biting out of frustration get down to her level maintain eye contact and tell her that biting hurts and is not nice. I always ask for an apology from Taylor and then give her a kiss and a hug. The phrase that worked with my daughter is " We don't bite- we kiss". I explained that kissing was nice and biting was not nice. I said this phrase every time she would try to bite me. This seems to work with her.

I hope this helps.

How you are handeling it sounds ok, make sure you give extra attention to the one bitten though. Then have your daughter apologize to her friend. I think your daughter may be acting out because the baby is coming. She may feel stressed that she is not the "baby" anymore and may need extra love and reassurance from you. Tell her how much of a big girl she is and that she is going to be mommy's "BIG HELPER". Also, make sure after the baby comes you set aside time just for your daughter and you to do things or go places together. Hope this helps, and just remember, we all go thru this phase. I went thru it 2x's and all the time with my daycare kids.;)

Good Luck :)

M. J

Okay, I will probably get slammed for this one, but I had this issue with my son when he was 2. We did what someone else mentioned about biting not being nice, that it hurts and we kiss instead. Well, that wasn't working. One time, he bit me particularily h*** o* my shoulder it brought tears to my eyes, and this was a repeat, "bite," meaning he'd done it a few times already and we did the above-mentioned explanation. When it had happened before in front of other family members or to them (grandparents, etc.) they said to bite him back. I wasn't interested in that approach, but at the above-mentioned moment, I decided to try it. I bit him back on his shoulder, mind you, not hard at all, didn't leave a mark, but he looked at me with a look of total shock & surprise and said something to me in his own gibberish and then came out, "no bite you kiss." True story! I did my best not to laugh, but he sure got the concept about biting at that moment. I then kissed his shoulder and he did the same to me. I'm not saying he didn't ever try to bite again, he tried, but I'd stop him and remind him by simply mimicking what he once said to me, "no bite, you kiss." Good luck! (I have to admit, sometime's advice from an older generation really does work even if it seems mean or outdated.)

Just an idea but she could be acting out due to your baby coming very soon. Even though she can't talk, she knows something is going to happen to you. They just can't explain it to us like we can, so she is doing something to get your attention. It will probably continue a little bit after the baby comes too but it is a phase and it will stop. The best thing to do is just take her out of the situation when she does it just like you did. She has to know that you can't do that no matter how upset you are. My first two children are 23 months apart and my daughter went through a horrible stage right before and after the baby came. It was very difficult but now she is overall a very good girl. Good luck!

Jenni,
It seems that you are managing your child in a sensible way. However, rather than focusing on the "management of the symptoms," maybe it would be worth to examine the underlying cause(s): A new baby is always a stressor, but what strikes me as a "red flag" is your statement that your child "doesn't talk yet." Do you have any concerns about your child's language? At 2 years of age most children (especially girls) are able to combine two words and express some basic meaningful ideas. As a speech-language pathology grad student, I would encourage you to observe your child's language development and if you are concerned, maybe it would be a good idea to discuss your concerns with your pediatrician (or school district official) and see if a referral for SLP evaluation is appropriate. Do not let your pediatrician brush off your concerns with the typical statement of "she's still young." Research has shown that late talkers may be at risk for developing future reading problems! I am not writing this to scare you (I have not seen your child), but just to call your attention on something that may be important in your child's development.