2 Year Old and New Baby

Hello N.,

My kids are 22 1/2 months apart, but are 7 and 5 now. Oh, some days I wish I could go back to having your problem- I loved the baby stage. But I digress... I didn't work except for teaching an hour in the morning. So that situation is different than yours. What alleviated the stress for me was to spread out a clean blanket on the floor and let them roll around together. It sounds silly, I know, but it helped by taking away the stress of constantly making sure the older one wasn't hurting the baby. I just decided, on the day they met, that I trusted my toddler not to hurt him. I absolutely needed to have this trust so that I could get a little space since I was with them almost all day. It worked. My toddler daughter never hurt him, and I at least got a bit of physical distance every once in a while.
As long as you show the older one as much love as you can, the two of them will be the best of friends. Being as fair as possible about your attention will help them appreciate each other. And please know that this time goes on forever and ever, and then it is suddenly gone! Enjoy it even when it's terrible, because soon it will be over. Good luck,
Sasha

I have an almost 3 year old, a 17 month old, and am pregnant again. I LOVE having my kids close in age. I think it depends a lot on the person, the kids, and each situation. My boys get along great...they play together, laugh together, and of course fight too, but overall I'm thrilled they are so close in age. I do Home Daycare so I have a few 1 year olds here everyday...it gets hectic, but it's certianly doable. Congrats!!!!

I was also scared to death to face two kids. Plus we moved when my newborn son was 2 weeks old. My daughter, 25 months older than him, had lots of transitions - new brother, new house and we put her in a toddler bed. All in all she handled it well. We both work full time so my daughter was always in daycare. When the baby came, we still sent her even though I was home. It helped to keep her routine the same. Now she is so proud to have her baby brother go with her to school every day. She is still in diapers and I prefer it. I am not looking forward to the potty training period even though they are starting it at school. When they are training and have to go, they have to go right that minute. Not fun when you're out and about.
Also, if you have help from your husband, it makes everything easier. We split chores so nothing is overwhelming and get everything ready the night before so the morning's aren't hectic. He takes both of them to school and picks them up, I train it downtown and we all leave about the same time. Just started back after 4 months maternity leave so still trying to get into a routine.
Good luck and don't worry, it will be easier than you think.

Our kids are about 2 1/2 years apart. I found that diapers was easier than having one toilet training! LOL.

The prospect of 2 is scarier than the reality. Don't stress out. Just remember that your older one will likely be feeling displaced and there will be some regression. Be gentle and understanding and let them do what they need to do and it will get better. It took 3-6 months for our house to settle down.

Get as much help as you can. Make sure that when baby is napping - you do special things with the older. Books, crafts.

When you feel your patience grow thin- find the humor or take a nap.

I do work out of the house full time. You will find your rythm. For me-- my lifesaver is getting up at 5 and leaving my husband in bed with the kids. Quiet time to myself.

Watching the two of your kids love eachother and play together is the most AWESOME thing in the world.

My boys are 22 months apart. You would rather do diapers than toilet training. It doesn't even faze me have both in diapers. I also opted not to convert to big bed. I borrowed a crib from a friend to tie me over until my older son out grew his. My advise is to keep them contained as long as possible.

There was a little jealousy with breast feeding from my older son, but that pretty much disappeared. My MD and others told me that give the jealousy thing 3 months to subside. It was less than that for me.
Even the sleep deprivation was better than anticipated. Don't get me wrong, it still stinks, but I am more functional than I thought. What has been my lifesaver, is that my husband gets up if my toddler needs anything through out the night and gets up with him in the AM (my toddler gets up early). It's only fair since I get up all night to feed the baby.

As far as working, I just started back 2 days a week. So far so good. My baby was 3 months. We use a nanny. I was too worried about having to make arrangements when the kids got sick and could not go to a facility.
I think the worst so far is dealing with my toddler giving the baby his colds/viruses. No matter how careful you are, it just seems inevitable.
Don't stress too much about it. You can do it, just think of the millions before us who did!

Good Luck.

I also am a two parent household working full-time. My 2 kids are 26 months apart and are now 3 and 1. The first few months are an adjustment for all. Agree with an earlier poster that the nursing was a problem with jealousy. The toddler was a little more defiant, but nothing major.
Sleeping - I put my older daughter in a "big girl bed" right after her 2nd birthday so she had 2 months to get used to it and still gave her the option to use the toddler bed (which was converted from the crib) for about a month. After that I returned it to the crib stage, but empty, meaning, no bed linens, etc. This worked pretty well, but my child was a good sleeper in the toddler bed already so the transition worked.
Toilet training, I did not decide to do that until after the baby was born. The baby was around 4 months old and the toddler was 2 1/2. We are still at the stage of wearing a pull-up at night almost a year later, so don't expect that for a while.
Enjoy your time off with the baby and toddler. They will both survive and you will adjust. Honestly, I just get up a lot earlier than I used to before the second one in order to have some "me" time. You make the adjustments that you need to survive and it all works out.
Enjoy the days of just one and love the little baby you have inside.

My kids are 25 months apart - daughter's now 11 weeks and my son is 27 months. It's been great so far, actually. I'm back at work a few hours a week but don't go back full time until after xmas. Our rules are that he can't touch/bother the baby when she's eating or sleeping, but otherwise he can hold her (with assistance). He is pretty good about being patient when I nurse her - I frequently read him books while she eats. A bouncy chair or similar is essential so you can put the little one down while you do things with your older child. We have our good days and our bad ones, but all in all it's been going really well. You'll be amazed at how much eaiser the second child is than the first. You already know how to do so many things - you'll be out of the house with both of them in the first week I guarantee you.

My husband and I have "special time" with my son somewhat frequently (whenever we can) so that he still gets some one-on-one, and this helps I think. Don't worry, it will all be great.

N.,
Hang in there! I have two children that are two years apart. I was very scared, especially with the first one. I am the only one in my immediate family with kids and at first I felt like they were aliens, for lack of a better terms. Especially when you are use to being single and independent. But despite the life change, it has been one of the most beautiful parts of my life. It is a struggle because my husband and I both work full-time and I come home barely getting a chance to see the kids, who are 4 and 6. However, it has gotten alot better, it is a process. I use to feel like you, but there are so many wonderful moments you experience that are unforgettable and invaluable, it makes it all worth it. Just stay prayerful, it will get better. Try to find the older one things she likes to do, while awake, so that you can work with the newborn. Sleep when they sleep, I know that is hard and it has kind of messed up my sleep to this day. Just know that it will get better.

All the Best