19 Month Old Not Chewing Her Food

Updated on May 10, 2008
L.U. asks from Kirkland, WA
13 answers

Hi ladies - I am a mother of two boys and I nanny a little girl who is 19 months old. She's a sweatpea, and I love my job. Here's the thing. Her mama has been giving her a lot of normal food since she had 4 teeth, about 1 years old. I'm talking whole grapes, fruit snacks, hotdogs, popcorn....all the chockers. I give her grapes, but cut up, and same with hotdogs (little bittie). But she doesn't chew ANY of her food!! I watch her eat, she is constantly coughing trying to hack up the pieces that get caught in her throat. She maybe gives each piece of food a good chew or two, and then down the hatch. I sit next to her while she eats, and try to have her mimic me when I chew, and she just swallows. She stuffs huge pieces of food in her mouth, which I promptly yank out, but there are times that she fights me and wants to just swallow it. she is also VERY constipated a LOT. I think she poops every couple of days, and I just feel horrible for her because she cries and walks around trying to go potty. When she finally does, it's so hard!! Like cold clay. I feed her lots of fruits and make sure that she gets a lot of water throughout the day, but at night her parents give her tons of MEAT!! They say it's amazing how much she eats! One day they said she ate two whole hotdogs, and they have given her a whole breast of chicken!! SHE'S 19 MONTHS!! So, I think that by her not chewing her food, and the crazy amount of meat they are giving her, she is stopped up.
I just wanted to add here, I have called her mother before and told her how awful it was to watch her try and go potty, that she was really stopped up. Her mom got her some suppositories to help out, and prune juice, but Baby didn't want that prune juice at all. o I have told her that she has problems having a BM, I just haven't told her I think it's all the meat.
So, how do I get the baby to chew her food?
How do I, the lowly nanny (LOL) tell her parents that I think it's the meat that they are feeding her that stops her up, without sounding like I am telling them they are bad parents?

What can I do next?

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T.C.

answers from Seattle on

Hi!
We get my daughter to chew by telling her to "chomp like Abby" my parent's dog. Maybe you could show her how one of her favorite animals eats, then she can "chomp" like that Animal.

Good luck!

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T.F.

answers from Eugene on

Wow!!! I'm stunned by the whole breast of chicken - Dang. Well, I wouldn't say that they were being "bad" parents. Just say "hey this is what I have noticed when she's here she is constipated. I have tried this and this and that and she seams to be always constipated. Is this normal for her?" Ask her parents what their thoughts are....let them "Think" they are in control and not offend them. They will tell you what they think is the problem or maybe even don't even know. My son generally goes "poop" once a day and that's just before nap time between 10 to 12. That is his schedule. The parents miss the pooping time...so they may not even know that she is constipated. Good luck -when you are caring for someone else kid you try so hard to follow their rules - even when they go against yours. That is truely hard.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.H.

answers from Corvallis on

Hi L.,
I have 5 children and one of them has had constipation problems. They all eat the same foods,(including only 100% whole wheat bread)but my oldest daughter must digest things differently. She has had this problem since she was a year old. I have corrected the problem with extra fiber in her diet. I bought Benefiber (it's in a green bottle and says 'the clear choice')at the grocery store. It dissolves clear into your foods so that it is unnoticeable. You can add it to lots of foods like spagetti sauce, mac & cheese, taco meat...anything with a liquid or sauce that it can mix with. It can slo be mixed with whatever she is drinking during the day. It has no flavor and isn't gritty. My kids would never know that it is there. There are lots of fruits & veggies that would help, but if she won't eat them...Benefiber could be a good solution. I would also continue to model proper chewing techniques and maybe play a game with her to see who can keep chewing their food the longest.
There isn't much you can do about what happens when she is at home with her parents. You don't want to alienate them and make them feel like they aren't doing a good job raising her. They will always be her parents, but they could choose to find another nanny. Think about what you would want someone to say to you if they thought your child had a problem.
You could tell them what you have observed when she is with you and ask them if they have noticed the same problems at home. You can also ask them for suggestions about what you can do for/with her when these problems arise and they are not there. Then make your own suggestions in a 'I just want to help you as parents, help your daughter' way, without being critical of their parenting. I used to teach school and this worked well with parents.
I hope this helps and you are able to help this little girl!
J.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.Z.

answers from Portland on

L.,
I'm not sure that not chewing would lead to constipation. I really don't know. I do know that certain foods contribute to constipation, they are: white rice, bananas, applesauce and toast. Sometimes an intolerance to cow's milk can also cause constipation. Also not drinking enough fluids is another cause, She should be drinking at least 4 cups of fluid a day.
Apple juice can also help and it tastes way better than prune juice.
It sounds like the parents don't know a whole lot about healthy eating for kids and they feed her whatever she wants. Would you feel comfortable giving them a book about healthy eating for kids? I would say something like "I found this great book and thought you might like it. It has tons of information about kids and their diets and lots of good recipies." Some people just don't think about buying a book or researching a concern, usually because they are so busy with work and daily life that it just gets forgotten. They might really appreciate a resource from an expert. They may also need to hear the advice from someone other than you. Here's a link that I found: http://www.babycookbook.com/reviews.html
That is just one book out of hundreds that are available. A gift nicely given can sometimes say way more than advice not asked for.
B.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.K.

answers from Portland on

Here's a suggestion to help her learn to chew -

Have you seen those mesh bags on a handle? You put the food in the mesh bag, the baby holds the handle, and sucks & chews on the bag until the food comes through.

They have them at onestepahead.com and now Babies R Us.

At least that will help with the not chewing part.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Seattle on

My son has been constipated since birth even though he was exclusively breast-fed. When he started eating table food we started working on it with juice. I wouldn't usually give a toddler any juice due to the sugar, but Welch's white grape cherry juice really has worked for him. I give him about 2 oz of juice, diluted with 6 - 8 oz of water once or twice a day. He poops every day unless he doesn't get his juice for 2 or more days in a row. No other juice worked for him, including prune and apple, so you may want to give it a try. Good luck talking with the parents. I nannied for one family for over 3 years. I think that your best bet is to approach it like you are the one that needs help with the little girl's situation. Hopefully that will open up a dialogue. I also thought getting the pediatrician involved was a great idea.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I would not give them the answer. I would ask them questions. Such as I'm concerned that your little girl has a difficult time having a bowel movement. then describe what you see. Do you think that she could possibly be constipated? Thus opening a discussion.

I've also noticed that she swallows large chunks of food without chewing and I'm afraid that she will choke. Again, describe what you see.

I don't know if this is the problem for this little girl but let me describe my grandson's difficulties for you. He was chronically constipated from babyhood until he was 3 or so. He also had difficulties using his mouth. When he was 2 1/2 his pediatrician suggested that he be evaluated because he was talking very little. He seemed to be on track for speech the year before but his speech seemed somewhat delayed 6 months before. At 2 1/2 he wasn't talking any better than at 2.

My daughter took him to the county's Intermediate Education Service District for evaluation by a panel of experts in the field of early education. They suggested that he has a condition in which his facial nerves do not make a good connection within his brain. He is also overly energetic in his play which is not related to his speech difficulty tho it also has to do with nerve connections. He used to run into walls or doorways and still can knock another child down in his enthusiasm to play. He has been in a therapeutic preschool all of this school year. He'll be 5 next month and is going to go to a special kindergarten.

He is a beautiful child. Attractive and affectionate. At 3 I was beginning to be concerned about his lack of speech but at the same time he looked like a regular toddler. We learned that there is a Federal program to help kids with potential learning disabilities until they are 3. After 3 what is available is not as intensive.

I don't know if the child you are caring for has any speech or use of energy difficulties but being constipated and swallowing without chewing are similar to my grandson's symptoms. The social worker that co-ordinates his treatment said that the reason he stuffs his mouth and swallows whole is that the nerve endings in his mouth are not sending helpful messages to his brain. i.e. his brain doesn't tell him it's time to chew. He stuffs his mouth full because he doesn't feel when it's full until it's stuffed.

I am not suggesting that this is this toddler's difficulty. I am suggesting that there may be medical reasons for what she is doing. Her parents may have been giving her whole pieces of food because she doesn't handle small pieces well. At first my grandson would push pureed food out of his mouth. He then would eat small pieces but not before he'd stuffed his mouth.

Anyway, I would suggest that her parent's have her evaluated based on her way of eating and her constipation. She may be too young for them to make a diagnosis. My grandson's pediatrician wasn't concerned until his speech didn't develop.

We all know that constipation needs to be treated with fiber and fluids. If a baby or even an adult fills up their stomach with solid food they are less apt to drink enough fluids. Thirst and hunger sensations are sometimes mixed up in a person's mind. Perhaps if a doctor were to give the parent's information on how to treat the constipation they would be better about giving her the fiber and fluids that she needs.

After years of having people not listen to me I learned that to ask questions that lead the other person into an awareness is much more effective than giving them an answer. This doesn't work with everyone. Some people want the direct approach. ie. this is what I think while others don't hear what you say no matter how you say it. I do agree with you that this baby is having difficulty eating and eliminating in a healthy way and I'm glad that you're concerned and willing to try to help her. Kudos to you.

1 mom found this helpful

B.F.

answers from Bellingham on

I think I would just keep mentioning the constipation to the parents and suggest she might need to see her pediatrician since it is causing her pain. Then I would "help then out" by keeping track of what she eats each meal for a week or so, in case the doctor needs to know;). I would list the whole chicken breast and hot dogs, then let the doctor tell them it's the problem. This way you didn't blame them and she will get help.
Good luck!
-B

1 mom found this helpful

T.T.

answers from Portland on

Perhaps finding some articles on feeding guidelines from a reliable source would give you credence when discussing this with the parents. Obviously, you have their daughter's best interests in mind, but if they hear it from a doctor or dietician, they may pay more heed. I would be worried about the future eating issues this child may have if she is not taught to eat properly and to slowly chew each bite of food instead of wolfing it down. Not sure exactly what, but there must be a way to get more fiber into her to loosen the stools.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.N.

answers from Medford on

You sound like a great nanny! But as far as telling the parents anything, I think you are right about being "lowly." I wouldn't try to educate them unless you are asked (if you don't want to risk your job, that is). I, too have a food scarfer. My first son would shovel food hand-over-fist into his mouth before he was real savvy about chewing. I actually had to perform the Heimlich on him a number of times. Just like you, I would cut his food up into tiny pieces. In fact, I found that the Pampered Chef food chopper made life so much easier, because I could quickly chop any food into tiny pieces so that it was nearly "pre-chewed." He could still stuff too much in there and choke, so I just watched him closely until he outgrew that toddler stage. He is nine now, and is still an award-winning eater, but has luckily learned to chew!! As far as the constipation, that SAME son had that problem when he was learning to potty train. He would get constipated, so it would hurt his bottom to poop. Since it hurt to poop, he would "hold it" the next time until he was again horribly constipated. I just started filling him up with prune juice, and he completely lost the ability to "hold it." I typically do not give my kids any kind of juice, so prune juice was a real treat, even though I diluted it because of the sugar content. See if she will drink prune juice in a sippy cup. You might give her diarrhea at first, but then you can regulate it. IMO, prune juice is the miracle cure for the constipated child. Good luck to you!!

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J.N.

answers from Seattle on

Well, I don't know what to say about the not chewing food. I guess I would just keep doing what you are doing now and keep cutting up food in smaller bits when you are with her. I do, however, have a lot of experience with constipation. My daughter was chronically constipated for almost 2 years. When she was still eating baby food the prunes and oatmeal kind worked wonders. It was hard to find, but worth it. For awhile she would except small amounts of prune juice in her milk (if you only put a tablespoon in per 3-4 oz, you really can't taste it). After awhile, that wasn't enough. She really likes dairy and we have to watch her intake or it gets bad. For several months she had to be on Miralax in order to regulate her system. It is still a prescription now, but our ped, said it is going over the counter soon. We tried Benefiber, but it gave her horrible gas pains. Eventually, we were able to wean her off of the Miralax with a very strict diet. For my daughter, pear juice, pears, berries, beans and bran have been the life saver. She also has to have 4-5 servings a day of these things to keep her regular. Thank goodness she is a big fan of soup and Mexican food! I would bring up to the parents that you are noticing that the little girl in in a lot of pain and seems to be constipated and ask if there is anything more they would like you to be doing to try and ease this for her. Maybe it will open up a discussion, or clue them in to calling their doctor about it. We had to keep a food log for a couple of weeks, so we could determine the triggers and figure out what worked to get things moving. If she stays constipated for too long it can cause a lot of larger issues down the road.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.N.

answers from Seattle on

Hi L.,
I have a one year old also who has 7 teeth and couldn't imagine giving her any of those foods yet. It's not that at 1 they can't chew them, but mentally they don't understand that part yet. I would suggest to wait on giving her those things until she is at least 16-18 months. Mac and Cheese, diced up ravioli's or noodles...there are lots of "fingerfoods" she can have, but those others are too much for her quite yet.

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L.H.

answers from Spokane on

Wow, I have been in that situation before at my girl friend's house. My friend was feeding her 18 month twin boy's whole grapes and full size hot dog's. They also have the same issues with being constipated. I couldn't believe that she was feeding them all that food. I would just explain the issues about that little girl trying to go potty and how she is in pain during the day. The fact is, is that she should not be eating like a little adult, she is a baby still. You could also say that she takes a long time to try and swallow the food and how she has a hard time doing it. Say that you read about if food is in amaller pieces, it's easier to digest it. Well, good luck....
L. H.

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