18 Month Old Won't Sleep in His Bed

Not to make you feel bad for what you've already tried, but I think "crying it out" can just make things worse because he just wonders why you won't come save him (from being scared or upset or whatever is wrong) when usually you are there for him whenever he needs you. And then if you eventually give in and take him to your bed or lay with him, that just teaches him that he needs to keep on crying until he finds your breaking point, which may mean to cry for an hour or more, because he's figured out that you will eventually come in. Here is what I have done (I have 3 kids)...
Do whatever your night-night routine is (though I would skip the TV at bedtime because studies show it stimulates the brain and hinders restful sleep - basically it makes it harder for his active brain cells to settle down and rest)... Then don't say goodnight as if you are leaving. Sit with him for a VERY brief time (seriously like one minute- long enough to maybe sing one song to him) and then say, "I'll be right back. I have to go do___" and fill in the blank with something boring like laundry or wash the dishes. Then leave his room, reminding him that you will be right back. Make sure you say what you mean and mean what you say-- go back into his room after only a few minutes (maybe 10-15 minutes if he is quiet, or go in after just a few minutes if he is crying). Let him know you are checking in on him to make sure he is OK, give him a hug or a pat, and make another excuse why you have to leave to do something boring and tell him you'll be right back. Keep doing this and make the length of time you are gone longer and longer until he is alseep when you walk in. That way, he eventually fell asleep on his own, and you did actually have an opportunity to leave the room to get things done, including tending to your baby.

I have not only done this with my own kids, but I have recommended it here before and moms have written to thank me and let me know it worked well. You should have to do it less and less each night as your child regains the confidence to go it alone.

TV in his room is the worst thing you can do... Children cant differentiate b/w reality and fantasy, so if he sees something on TV that scares him, he'll think is real!!! you should take the TV out of his room for sure... that is really bad for children, especially his age! Children this age should not watch TV at all... once they turn 2 you can let him watch "educational" programs for up to 2 hours a day (max)
My three year old watches 1/2 hour of TV every day!
I really do think that your biggest problem is having a TV in his room!

Hi K.- We have the same problem. In order for us to get sleep we decided not to fight it anymore. My two year old sleeps with us. Nap times are in his own bed, but night time is with us. My daughter who is now 7 months old, sleeps in her crib all night. I just figure that it must be the child. Some are more clingy than others. We do a night time routine , my daughter (7mo.) goes straight to her bed and is asleep with in minutes, my son who just turned two needs to cuddle, a book, and prefers to fall asleep next to us, and it is what has worked for us. All I can say is they do grow out of it and eventually end up in their own rooms and bed. They are only little once, so if crying it out wont work, just let them come in. As a mother of a toddler, I feel that I am already having to correct him enough without dragging out bedtime. Playing tough works for some familes, my husband cant stand the endless crying and getting out of bed in middle of night. I was more worried about my toddler roaming the house at night. It happened a few times to us. Or try having his toddler bed in your room. I have friends who do both co-sleep or make the kids sleep in their room. It has to be whats right for your family. Another thing, I would make your husband take on responsbility of toddler and focus on 4 month old at night. Even if your SAHM, its a full time job keeping up with kids and home during the day. As parents it both mom and dads repsonsiblity. Tag teaming has really helped my and my husband cope with having to get up in middle of night. Best of luck.

been there done that. My daughter never napped in her own room. Night light has to be on everynite and the only way i got her to sleep by herself in her own bed was to follow SUPERNANNY.com advice. Turn the tv off and out of room, has a strong bedtime routine ( in 5 mins is bedtime snack, bath, brush teeth, read a story, adn then a lullaby but no rocking til was asleep) then put in bed and sit with your back to bed and head down. Read Suppernanny for further details as my 3yr is call me and i cant type it all. But it work and now she sleeps on her own adn goes back to her bed if she wakes up will go back to sleep.

THe screaming will stop its just their imagination starting to form, just comfort and it will stop eventually but not right away.

The more the kid sleeps in your bed the harder it is to get them to sleep on their own.

Ditto to Tammi's response. I did the same thing with my son, and I, too, have recommended that idea on this site before. If you tell him you are doing something, be sure it is something that he can HEAR you doing... dishes, laundry, even talking on the telephone to someone... If he can hear you, he can visualize you doing that thing.. and that is comforting.... Do NOT try to "be quiet" "so he can fall asleep"... that only makes him wonder where you are and if you are close enough to hear him if he should need you...

Set a small timer in the kitchen or something if you need to so that you remember to go in and check at 5 or 10 minute intervals in the beginning.

Hang in there... but be firm. No letting him come sleep in your bed and Do NOT lay down with him until he's asleep. Lie down with him for (at the most) 2-3 minutes (count in your head if you need to) and then make your excuse and leave...
No extra kisses and re-tucking when you go to check on him.... just peek in and acknowledge that you're "just checking" on him... and leave again...
Good luck.

Yeah. Turn off the TV. It's a distraction so you cannot relax. Even a "night light" is thought of a comfort; but it only keeps the brain from reaching peaceful sleep.
He's also going through separation anxiety, which takes patience to live through. I recall being so tired, as my oldest was getting up and out of bed each night, and laying down and telling him "i'm exhausted, I'm going to sleep...you go and do the same". It was a "wake up call" (contradiction of words; but it worked) I think he saw that I was down for the night and so this was the thing to do. We didn't have a problem with his going to sleep at night after that. (until he turned 15...just wait for puberty!)