16 Month Old Refuses to Be Spoonfed

Updated on January 04, 2010
J.R. asks from Fort Lauderdale, FL
11 answers

Dear moms,

I need help with my 15 month old son. He has always been skinny (born at 5lb10oz), now at almost 16 months old he weights 18lb12oz - he dropped a little bit on this weight curve, on height he actually went up almost 2 curves (just last week he dropped to 18lb7oz because he had a cold and refused to eat). His development is on track and his ped is not concerned until the next weight check in 4-6 weeks.

I still breastfeed him twice a day, he gets no more than 12oz of whole milk/day. He likes vegetables, fruits, pasta and cheese. I have been trying to offer him different things with a lot o resistance from his part (I know it takes a while for him to enjoy new tastes). My main problem started 3 weeks ago when he completely refused to be spoonfed. I know in part this may be a good thing for his independency, however this makes it difficult the task given by his doctor: have him to sit down and eat a "nice and large" meal... I offer him everything diced, small pasta and meat pieces, I am also trying smoothies etc, but I don't know if he is getting enough...

I know he is not going to starve, I also acknowledge he but he is very active at this age and wants to be on the go most of the time, however some days I feel so helpless offering him 10 different choices of fingerfoods and he is not eating any of it.

I thank any response in advance and I wish you all a Happy and Healthy New Year, last year the mamapedia community helped me a lot since I have few friends and no family around here.

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So What Happened?

I combined a little bit of the strategies some of you suggested. By giving my child some space and getting a little organized before the meal starts I am reaching outstanding results! This is what I learned this past month:

1) I set everything I plan to feed him ready BEFORE putting him on the high chair. I also removed ALL distractions so he can focus on the food, so no more toys, remote controls or gadgets to trick him to eat. I only sing for him and stay around him. If he has his space and thinks he controls his food he will eat better and accept the menu I arranged. So no more running around the kitchen looking for 10 options of foods, whatever is there that is his meal.

2) We start by the most nutritious part of the meal (and the only one that is not on the soy sauce plates). I help him using his spoon by filling it, He still gets tired of doing it himself but at least he showed interest again in the spoon. I also celebrate with him everytime he feeds himself.

3) After he finishes the "first course" I give him one of the little plates with something else that complements the first dish (pasta or a veggies, omelete, beans). Just a little portion, as one of the moms suggested. He knows some sign language so if he asks for more, I put on his plate. He already knows how to sign "enough" then I stop. I stay around him in the kitchen or family room but I pretend I am not paying attention to him sometimes, this way he has his space.

4) We progress with fruit on the little plate and afterwards if he still wants, I spoon feed him again some YoBaby.

The doctor told us to do some Pediasure to help on the weight gain. We are combining it with whole milk once a day. I also increased his milk intake by feeding him in the morning in his room as soon as he wakes up (before he would walk around with his cup and drink just a little), the same happens after he wakes up from his nap in the afternoon.

In mid January, 10 days after the original posting, we went back to check if his ear infecction cleared. He was already weighting 19.4 lbs. I took my son last week for a little check up and he is a month later weighting 20lbs and 32 1/4 tall!!

I know he is not going to be a big kid and I am totally happy with, I only needed to come to the days that I enjoyed feeding my son. Thanks to your advice and patience from my part I was able to find a feeding strategy that would work for both of us. Thank you to all of you!!!!

Featured Answers

H.B.

answers from Gainesville on

my sister had this problem with her little girl---she wouldn't eat all day, just refused, until the evening and then pigged out on everything. It just lasted a little while and then she evened out and now eats all her meals.
I was wondering if it was because she weaned her baby at 18 months? I really dont know

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L.P.

answers from Tampa on

YAY FOR BREASTFEEDING. My 2 year old (25 months) is still breastfeeding, and I am 7 months pregnant! My son only weighed between 18-21 lbs when he was 16 months old, and he lived off of breast milk only, his choice, not mine. I would say you child is normal. Try gogurts (they have organic ones as well), watch him carefully. My child loves gogurts, and when all else fails he will eat one. Talk to you doctor if you are really concerned. I think your baby is normal, stop stressing and keep the breast milk coming.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Tampa on

Maybe he is having difficulty with some of the foods-
you probably know his blood type- check out that book- Eat Right 4 Your Blood Type- and see if that makes foods more acceptable to him.
And just make everything finger food- why not?
Have a little fun w/ it-
My oldest granddaughter hardly ate- I think cheese and lettuce(ice berg for heaven sake!) for years, I KNEW she'd be malnourished- and now of course she is a beautiful(I'm the gramma, remember) 13 yr old(slim for sure) and on the honor roll-
some kids just know their own bodies.
why make food a fight?
best, k

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S.S.

answers from Daytona Beach on

i wouldn't worry. i would do as the first post suggested. i did this with my kids and they started eating fine. i wouldn't give him that many choices. it's probably overwhelming him. also my daughter was small at that age also and tall. she's 5.5yo and only 35lbs. my 2.5yo niece weighs more than she does!! first you have to look at your size and your husbands. if you aren't big people or people in your family are petite, your son might be also. my dr. told me that my daughter would be petite and not to worry about her weight as long as she continued grow at a steady pace she was fine. do you think maybe it's bc he's a boy that the dr said to feed him more? boys don't have to be pudgy! my son is 3.5 and at his 3yr check up weighed 28lbs. it's their build and could very well be your sons too! don't worry so much. be thankful he's not one of the growing population of unhealthy children out there

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R.W.

answers from Tampa on

Your son sounds like my daughter. The doctor kept saying she was underweight. He even at one point wanted to give her shots to help her grow. My Mom said to just leave her alone and she would be fine. She is 22 years old now and normal weight. I have to say honestly, Doctors are not always right. As long as he's just small and not sick I wouldn't worry about it. He is getting nurishment from the breast milk. Both of my girls liked peas from the can. I just dumped them on the high chair tray for them to eat and play with.

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S.Z.

answers from Boca Raton on

My son is the same way. He is almost 15 months. He weighs almost 20 lbs. I give him carnation instant breakfast with the milk. (less expensive than pedisure) He doesn't eat much so we let him drink as much milk with the carnation as possible. He likes to hold food when he does eat so I give him stick cheddar cheese. Since I started the carnation at a year his weight increased. Good luck

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T.F.

answers from Orlando on

My kids have always been on the small and skinny side, which has always worried my husband. For my first born, he has Ensure (I'd try Pediasure or Carnation mixed with milk for your son since he's young). For my youngest, the doc recommended adding Flax Seed to his diet. I haven't gotten around to actually doing it because he has been eating more, though. You said sometimes you offer 10 different things and he eats none of it. Just make sure you are offering no more than 2-3 different things on his plate at one sitting so he is not overwhelmed. All 3 of my kids were grazers as toddlers. It's silly, in my opinion, to expect a toddler to sit and eat a big meal. We have a small play table designated for eating. It is toddler sized. My son will sit with the family at the dining room table and pick at his food and spend time with us. Then, when we are done eating, I transfer his plate to his little table. As he is playing, he will wander over and take a bite here and there. I would only insist on foods that can spoil to be eaten with us at the table-- like yogurt or food that should be eaten warm. But things like cut up fruit or pasta can sit at his table and he can nibble at it for an hour or so after we are all done with the meal.

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K.J.

answers from Orlando on

Yeah for BF! I also still nurse my 25mo old daughter, it's awesome, isn't it?! My daughter went through a phase at around that age too, it lasted a few months. She refused for me to spoon feed her. She was also learning to use her own flatware. She was pretty good at it, although things like yogurt was a little messy. Then all of a sudden she didn't want to use the flatware and went back to using her hands since she knew it was easier! I just let her do as she wanted. I'm lucky, she has always been a neat eater, so I was never too worried about a big mess. She now will ask me to feed her when she's tired. And I've been able to feed her the messy stuff like yogurt for a while now. I think it's just a phase where they want to express their new found independence. I think you're doing great! focus on the foods he does like to eat, so he's eating, but continue to throw in the ones he's not crazy about, to keep up the variety. I forgot to mention that my daughter went straight to finger foods at 9mos, she didn't care for the veggie jarred baby food, so I've been dicing everything. At around your son's age she stopped eating steamed broccoli, which she loved before, I couldn't figure it out. Then I started using a garlic paste to season them, and she loves them again! especially cauliflower. sometimes we need to get creative too, but don't stress over it. It sounds like he likes the basics in all of the food groups, so stick w/ those for now. As he grows, so will his taste for new foods! good luck and don't worry too much! :)

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S.M.

answers from Miami on

Hi Jana. If he were not eating enough, he would not be growing at all. As long as he is growing, he is eating enough.

He's actually getting a good bit of protein from the 12 ounces of cow's milk and the breastmilk. That's a LOT of milk. Breastmilk has the right kind of fat in it, so he's not suffering from lack of fats in his diet.

Pasta & cheese also provides protein. The pasta, the veggies and the fruits provide the carbohydrates he needs for energy. Can he eat peanut butter? PB on bread or crackers provides protein, fats and carbohydrates. Plus all these natural foods provide him with vitamins and minerals.

You do not want him to be fat. Just because there are percentiles for weight doesn't mean that he has to be in the upper percentiles for weight. You want him to be slender and healthy.

Remember that the more you stress out about his eating, the more resistant he will be to eating. Putting pressure on him to eat more than he wants to is going to drive him away from you, interfere in your relationship with him, and cause eternal power struggles between you.

Please relax and enjoy your healthy, active, beautiful child. ( :

Peace,

Syl

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J.O.

answers from Tampa on

Try the little entrees that gerber makes...My 13 month old daughter likes them and it relieves you from racking your brain on what to make all the time and it gives them variety. Just mash everything up w/a fork and give yogurt/fruit on the side...Good luck!

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S.C.

answers from Miami on

i think his body is crying out for water. you need water before a meal to properly digest food. perhaps try 1/4 cup water in a bottle or cup before eating and see if his body allows him to eat. water is essential. make sure it is filtered water. juice is not the same - juice, milk these are foods.
S., mother of two, exercise physiologist, working on masters in nutrition

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