14Th Month Old Acts up When We Go Out

I agree with the others. Eating out with a child this age can be challenging. They have to sit and behave for far longer than they really are capable of. Occasionally things go smoothly, but I always prepare myself for having to abandon the original plan. I often ask the waitstaff to bring the bill and a to-go box when they serve the food. That way, if we have to leave quickly, we have the option. As with everything else...this phase will pass. Though I still don't know when the day is that eating with the kids becomes relaxing!

Also important is... lots of times, when the adults or parents are going out to eat... it just so happens to be when a baby/child is naturally tired, or when it should be their nap time or bedtime. Thus, it's not actually great timing for them to eat nicely and sit still and for longer than 20 minutes in a restaurant.

And yes, when a baby/child is tired, AND in a restaurant AND there is a lot of external stimulation AND noise going on at the SAME time... well, they go bonkers. I wouldn't blame them.
They cannot be sitting all passive at this time.

For lots of parents, they "time" their going out or restaurant meals for more conducive times per their baby/child. Sure, you want a kid that is "portable" and "nice" at restaurants... but, each child has their limits as to what and how long THEY can handle sitting.

My kids are 2 & 6 yrs old. We still don't go to restaurants at certain times, or at all... because we know how our 2 year old is and what his patience is capable or not capable of...and we never go to a restaurant when either of our children are tired, because restaurants + tired children are like oil and water. My daughter also, simply CANNOT eat when she is fatigued or tired.... she has always been this way since a baby. Even if she is hungry, she cannot eat when she is tired/sleepy.

But this is common. All normal.
Good luck,
Susan

That sounds like about the time we had to do a lot of take out too. We still only eat at places that are a little more kid friendly and she is now 3 YO. It gets better as they move on to other stages.

There's not much you can do. You've hit the age where they just don't have the ability to sit and be "good" in a restaurant. Since you're about to have another baby, I'd say you won't have a comfortable meal out with the kids until the youngest is about 3. We've found that a casual bar and grill type atmosphere works out for us and our 2 young girls (4 and 1 1/2) because it's usually already pretty loud and no one seems to care if the little ones wonder around a bit to entertain themselves. On the flip side... The good news is that it gives you a great excuse to get a sitter.

Here's what I started to do with my son at around 1 years old...

1. Plan meals around when your kiddo will be awake and able to pay attention. My son naps until around 330pm, so we plan to go to dinner early, and beat the rush...crowds are not fun with a toddler.
2. Take two cars. Send someone ahead to reserve the table and get seating promptly. Look on-line and check out the menu...have the first person there order everyone's food...that way by the time you get there it's already to go when you arrive with little one. The wait time for food and seating is roughly thirty minutes if you go before rush...toddlers have an attention span of between 10-20 minutes. So, by the time the food gets there you're patient little angel is reading to rock 'n roll out of their seat.
3. Bring distraction objects...coloring books, table games, small blocks.
4. Create an escape plan...talk to your toddler, and explain that it's time to eat and we are going to this place to share a meal with family...if they sitll can't hack it, leave and get your food to go.

I did this with my son and in a few months, he was able to understand the routine. He sits for anywhere between 30-45 minutes for meals. Sometimes, now at 2.5, I take him outside and talk to him. He is able to understand, and once he's ready we go back inside. But, it's all about remaining calm and being consistent.

Start with restaurants that aren't really that big and have a casual atmosphere. It just takes pratice!

Good luck!!

Sounds like normal behavior.

I think busy restaurants are too overwhelming for little ones. We usually have better luck eating early when the crowd is less. And we ask for them to bring the baby's food right away.

Even so, we have had to take food to go on more than one occasion. Eating out with a group of people is horrible. Our normally easy going eater starts throwing food and crying.

Hi M.:
Your expectations are to high for your toddler. You cannot expect a 14 month old to understand the reason she must be this perfectly charming girl,because you have the desire to go out and eat in public. She is not expected to understand,why she has to sit for 20 minutes or longer,waiting for the waiter to bring her food, nor is she mature enough to understand,that displaying her eagerness to get out of the situation,is an embarassment to you. I realize,there must be times that you feel she acts out intentionally,but at 14 months old, shes not that clever and It's not her intention to humiliate you in public. She cannot communicate to you,verbally,"mom,I'm tired" "Mom I'm bored to death" "Mom I don't like all the noise" "Mom This high chair isn't mine!! "I hate it" "Get me out of here" Until she matures,and can verbally communicate her feelings,and understand yours.You need to limit your dining-out with her. She obviously doen't enjoy that time,and you certainly aren't going to enjoy yourself.You'll have plenty of opportunities in the future for dining out with your daughter. I wish you and your darlin daughter the best.

Get a babysitter for a few months, then try again with her and see if she "forgets" her previous behavior of acting up. If not, keep trying it until she's old enough to behave. Bring fun new toys to the restaurant and keep them only for restaurants. When she's old enough, play dough is great at restaurants. They didn't play with that much around the house, but they loved it at restaurants and it kept them quiet.

If you want to go out to eat, just go without the children or do an order to go. You could also cook a special meal at home and not go out.