13 Yr Old Son with Adhd

Sounds exactly like my son, only my son doesn't have ADHD. So, there is some good news ~ he's like other kids! Then again, my son takes a dietary supplement that has been shown to impact ADHD and improve over-all health at studies at University of California Berkley. I could share the information with you if you want.

S.

I'm not sure I can help with your questions, but I did want to share with you some info I read on adhd.
The current growing belief is that about 25% (could be more) of children diagnosed w/ adhd suffer from a sleep disorder- not adhd. The sleep disorder is the cause of the symptoms associated w/ adhd.
That said, you're the mom and know whether or not your child is getting enough quality sleep. :) Not liking school or homework though, seems kind of like a lot of kids. Some children thrive in a school setting where others do not.
The failure of our school systems today is that they treat every child the same way, and some just aren't "engineered" to thrive in an environment that focuses on memorization, text and tests. Many children are "action" oriented: meaning they thrive and learn from doing hands on activities like building and making things with their hands. Does this sound like your son?
Many people do horribly in school and end up being quite successful in life. The key I think is the parents. Help your child find a way of learning that works best for him and build him up. It could make the difference between dropping out of school and truly growing into himself as a young adult.
Good luck and remember ALL children have the abiity to succeed in the right circumstance!
:)

I have a almost 14 year old daughter who has add, school has been a real struggle reading your story reminded me of her. Like you I fought and fought with the school about special education, finally in 5th grade they did testing on her. She went into the OHI program. Last year she began to go and work one on one with a teacher, she is mainstreamed however she has 2 hrs with a teacher at the end of everyday. Dont give up. Remember you are his voice. You have rights. No Child Left Behind. Ohi is another program and Special Education. Go to your school board, I went to a meeting to really get the ball rolling, they dont like that at all when you stand up and put them on the spot. Call councling agencies they will help you out. Call Lansing. Dont Give Up!!! Better days are coming. My last piece of advice is borderline just crazy thats what they said about my daughter, one test doesnt determe everything have him tested more than once. Good Luck to you. Stay Strong.Call and keep calling.

I've never heard of MEAP scores as criteria for special ed. eligibility.
Just go to the school and tell them you need to sign the special ed. form that gives permission for the school to do psych/IQ testing on your son. Once you sign this form the school will be legally obligated to at least do a formal eval. The school will then need to meet with you to discuss the results. Maybe your son could qualify as OHI (otherwise Health Impaired - which would be from his ADHD) or Emotionally Impaired, he could also have a learning disability that could be causing problems. Either label would open the doors to special ed. services for your son. If you have questions about all this give your local ISD a call to ask questions.

Just be aware that sometimes there's a MISdiagnosis. Sometimes it's a cop-out for discipline problems. He won't stop his IMmature behavior if he isn't shown discipline.
Think about it. What's wrong with what you've said here? He will do the stuff for tutors but not for you? Someone is motivating/stimulating him. My oldest hated school too. Much of what you've described here I went through with my son. Barely graduated by the skin of his teeth. But fortunately he wasn't categorized as ADHD. It wasn't the designer disorder of the year yet. That's what it's become too. And my son floundered around too afterwards. And he's now in school, ITT-Tech, working on cars, which is his all time love. And he's at the top of his class.
Rethink adhd. Honestly. You might be doing him a disservice. He might just be bored, or having comprehension issues. Try Sylvan learning centers, if that seems to work. They'll help.

Hello H.,

I'm a parent coach and one of my specialties is helping families with an ADD/ADHD child. I just read a great book by NOLO called The Complete IEP Guide. How to Advocate for your Special Education Child by Lawrence Siegel. It's a great resource for parents to know their child's rights.

A quick over of IDEA, (I am not offering legal advise, please call a attorney for advice), a child may receive assistance under IDEA if it their special need (ADD counts), impacts their ability to learn.

I suggest you read-up on IDEA and then formally request an evaluation. The above mentioned book will help you a lot if you have more questions.

Under IDEA your son can receive modified homework assignments, tutors, special classes or assistance learning how to managed his work load.

Good Luck!

R. Magby

I have sent abut 20 child patients to a Dr. Randy Tent in Novi who really helps kids with their ADHd. He always checks their thyroid an other areas alot of Docs seem to miss. He is a naturalpath and does mostly supplements. My daughter had lots of issues and he straightened her out in a few weeks. then she could focus better. We also had a tutor and that helped alot also, she does better one on one because the tutors house has zero distractions its totally calm there. We have tried to make her room super quit because she is to easily distracted. Once she did better with her tutor he self confidence went up then she was happier and didn't feel so frustrated. Good Luck

Does he have an IEP or a 504? (check out www.nichcy.org for additional info on your rights related to 504 and IEPs). Why is he shutting down? Is handwriting difficult for him? or is it the sitting still to complete work? or is it that his mind is racing and he can't slow his thoughts down to complete the work?

if it is the sitting still allow for movement breaks, allow him to stand to do work or lay on the floor. you can work on parts of homework that require memorization (e.g. spelling words) but jumping on a trampoline (each jump = 1 letter).

is he on any medication? If not are you willing to try (I've known kids that it has helped A LOT). If not I've known several kids that have been helped by a chiropractors who also specializes in holistic "oriental" medicine.

hope that helps. Good luck!

you can ask for an evaluation , you can't demand he be put in spec. ed without some kind of eval. If he is ADHD and you have documentation to support this then he should qualify as OHI, other wise health imapired and receive some resource room support, are they going to put him in a self contained class, probably not. the first choice is least restrictive placement.
hope that helps.

Hi,

I am a speech language pathologist at a local high school. Your son may not qualify for special ed however he may qualify for 504 plan. Some school districts have a strong 507 program and some don't. A 504 plan is for students that are on the border...they don't really meet the requirements for special ed yet they do need some support in order to be successful in school. You can as your district if they offer Here are a couple of things I implement with my students that have ADHD.

1. For my students that don't turn in their work I have it set up so that they can e-mail it to their teachers. So either they do it all on the computer and then send it as an attachment or if their parents have a scanner then they scan in the homework and send it. That has been very helpful for many of my students.

2. I also give my high schoolers a homework sheet that they need to record what they do during class and what homework they have. They then have to have it signed by the teacher at the end of every class. This insures that they have the homework written down correctly. Then at home the parents review it make sure all the homework is complete and sign the form. If the student is using a separate sheet of paper then I collect them every week so that I know the process is being implemented.
So four people are involved in this process...the student, the class teacher, the parents and myself. Maybe the counselor and play my role in your case.

3. Some students work well when their is a reward. We have parents that tell their children that if they go one month with no missing assignments then they will buy them a video game or something they really want. The point of rewards is to help your son get into a routine. I always tell parents that they can establish rewards for different behaviors in order to help their children develop good routines/behaviors but that eventually the rewards should be eliminated.

If you have specific questions on the special ed laws let me know and maybe I can help guide you in getting the help your son needs or come up with ideas that may help him in school and at home.

Good Luck!
A.

I have adult adha and school for me was very hard-I didn`t find out I had it until I was in my 30`s. I did try the caffine (a little glass of coke or tea) And that seems to work WONDERS with me! My daughter-who is now 19, also has a touch of it-it was AWFUL at the ages 13, 14! I wound up putting her on meds for only 3 months. She too wasn`t doing her homework, turning it in, and her locker, desk, and bedroom was a TOTAL disaster! She had no clue how to get herself organized. The meds were great! We took her off after 3 months and she continued to stay organized and do her work. She graduated with honors and is still organized!

I had a son like this. And yes, he did grow into a responsible wonderful man. The best part is, all those good characteristics are still there. If you can afford it, you might want to get a tutor to work with him on his homework. It sounds like a normal power struggle between a teenage boy and his parent. Not everything is from the ADHD, even though it feels like it clouds all the issues. Back away and let him take some responsibility for his work. However, you might want to institute a few rules. First off, right after school he needs a break from school work. Let him have a snack and go outside to run a bit of his energy off for a predetermined time period. Then it's in the house and do the work by a certain time, say before TV / video games etc. In remembering some things that worked for my son, you might want to break things up into 10-15 minute increments of school work. 10-15 minutes of school work, then 10-15 minutes physical activity etc. The whole idea of start to finish might be really overwhelming for him. Set up the scene to help him succeed. By that I mean, have a place where everything is organized for him, with good lighting, few distractions, yet you're available. One area that fit the bill fairly well for us was the kitchen table, as I was chopping things for dinner. Be there, but don't hover or critique. I finally had to step back and tell my son, 'you are such a bright capable guy. I'm sure you can do this on your own.' I backed off and let him soar. But yes, I was there to catch him if he needed me. Hugs, S.

I can't help much but wanted to add that YOU are the parent and it is your job to make sure your son has the education he needs. That being said you have a lot of options -- others mentioned some of them and here are a couple more...

homeschool -- if you do research on the internet there are TONS of resorces for adhd. Even if you don't homeschool him the resorces can help you understand how he learns and how to talk to the school and how to teach him at home (with the schools help).

add nature and play to his schedule -- nature calms and focuses adults and children. Outside play will help his body work for him instead of against him. Limit screen time -- they make adhd worse.

You say he is a loving and caring soul -- that is WAY more important then if he does "great" in school. Make sure he knows you are on his team and believe in him. School is important but LEARNing is more important. Have him prove he has LEARNed the subjects even if he doesn't do the homework. Have him TALK to you about them or e-mail you or text you about them. Sometimes homework is just busywork and NO ONE likes to waste their time. Maybe you can prove to the teachers he has learned the subjects in a different way then traditional homework.

You say that he wants you to do all his homework for him... does that mean he KNOWS the stuff but wants you to write it out? Or he wants you to read the book and do the book report without him? In a job he will not have you to do the work BUT he is only 13 and his job is learning right now -- help him learn as a team.

If decision making is the main problem then work specificly on that. For example do word "problems" with him in the car or something. Tell him about a situation and give him choices to pick from. Kind of like those old books about choose you own adventure. Then after he gets those do open ended situations. Ask him why he would do that, make him think through situations before (and after) he has to face them. Guide him to the "right" way through questions.

I will pray for you-- parenting is hard at whatever age they are at. YOU can do this and so can he. Make sure he knows that you love him.

GOD bless.

I definitely would see a pediatric psychiatrist about medication and some therapy. Children's Hospital of Detroit has a great psychiatric program or you can seek someone on your own. You could homeschool him but he'll be a lot to manage. You should see if the school system will evaluate him but if they put him in special ed and he's smart, he may sink to an even lower level of schoolwork. You could check out local private schools if you can afford one. Our grandson did quite well at DeLaSalle in Warren. The rules were clear and there were a lot of masculine guys around for him to play sports with and goof off with when he wasn't in class. At 23, he's running his own business, dating and, though we want him to get more than the year of college he now has, we've been unable to talk him into it. He is very smart and very loving. My daughter and I homeschooled him for half of 3rd grade because he was crying and refusing to go, then she put him in her local Catholic gradeschool and he did much better. In fact, he became quite a leader. Other boys wanted to follow this goofball - go figure! You might watch Extreme Home Makeover with him. Ty Pennington is a great role model - a very ADHD guy raised by a single mom - poor lady!

If it is borderline as they say then its good news!
It will take effort but you can support him by learning all you can about ADHD. Both my 23 yr old son and husband have been diagnosed ADHD. My husband has learned to cope~for the most part so well that he runs a successful business. My son will be graduating this year with a degree in psychology so I want you and your so to know he can do well with some support. Some of my favorite books: Th ADD Answer by Frank Lawliss, The ADD Cure by Dr Daniel Amen, Driven to Distraction (I forget the author). You can find some of these books in the library or order them ____@____.com I understood ADHD there was a lot less resentment on my part, meaning less tension. Will he grow out of immaturity? My son became more mature around age 16 but he and his dad are still challenged by impulsiveness and some negative moods. My son took meds for 8 years. My husband tried them too. Some things were better but we saw that with some lifestyle changes (daily vigorous exercise is very important) they could cope without medication. My other advice is to get him involved in a sport like running.

My son also has ADHD. He is 24 now. I tried everything you are. Nothing seemed too work.He is a very good working with his hands. Hated school. He ended up in a secondary school, where they paied alot more attention too him and his problems. they had a reward system if he completed his school work and did not miss school he was rewarded in someway or another, this really helped my son. He graduated on time with good grades.D on't let him too continue too fall through the crackes. I did not , and my son is alot better for that reason.It. has taken him longer too grow up. He also got in some trouble
alond the way. Watch who your child hangs out with,try too weed out the bad influences,its hard to tell your child you don't want him too hang out with certain kids.My son lyed too me where he was going all the time,it was very hard trying to keep him away from those kids.DON"T GIVE UP IT WILL GET BETTER .

You absolutely have the right to demand he gets the help he deserves!
Tell the teacher/principal/social worker that you want an IEP (individual educational placement meeting). Yes, he does qualify for special education...he probably needs to be placed into a class for emotionally impaired (EI class). My son was in one (also for ADHD) and he scored almost perfect on his MEAP's.
Sometimes you have to fight for your kids. Go to the superintendent if you have to. I'm not sure what district you're in, but I would switch, even, if I had to...with school of choice you also have that option.
D.

I believe your son qualifies for Special help if you go to the school's special education department with a doctor diagnosis of adhd. You need to get to the head of the department for your school system and push the issue. They can then create an IEP (individual education plan) and get him some specialized help. Anyway, try there. My son (12) is in the same situation. However, he received help when he was younger under a speech need. I would definitely try to push the issue armed with documenation from his doctors in regards to the adhd diagnosis. Hope this helps.

My son had problems since preschool. He was evaluated in Elementary and we started counseling he was also borderline on the testing the school gave him. I tried different things diet, counseling, behavior modification I did not want to do medications because of all the negativity towards it.however when he almost failed Second grade and couldnt make friends was very impulsive and immature with his actions I decided to try it, and wish I would of tried it sooner it has been lifechanging and really helps. It wasnt a 100% cure however he can sit listen do his homework make friends I keep him involved in sports and try to be involved with parents that is very important.For us it worked for you it might or might not we tried 2 different kinds before we found one.and it hardly has side-effects he doesnt act drugged up or dopey.
On weekends I dont give him the meds and I also pray he grows out of this
I cant imagine him being an adult with it. The school should be helping you more we worked with a social worker and I still have close contact with her and the teacher and we still do counseling to help. Puberty is starting and I know things will change so We are trying to stay ahead of the game.

my son is now 15 and was told he had adhd when he was but a child. i had doctors and schools try to push medication on me and i refused. he was on an i.e.p for one on one help. the school can't deny you one on one help or any special education if he is on a specialized learning plan. if they still do i would go to the school board. boarderline means that he is just barely into what they say most children score at. it sounds like he is having problems focusing, i use to use a "fidget" toy...not a toy really just something he could mess with to help him keep focused. could be one of those stretchy things that you see in the gum ball machines and what not. if it is small and he can fidget with it while doing homework it can help a great deal. this website i am going to list will help him get organized on his homework to make it easier to get it done. http://www.teachervision.fen.com/education-and-parents/te... my stepson also has adhd and use to have a hard time doing the homework with me. i signed him for afterschool programs that his school held. afterwards he comes home and sits down and does complete his homework, sometimes with help and sometimes without. being a 13 yr old is very hard especially when you add in a learning disability along with it. yes adhd is a learning disability, dont let anyone tell you other wise. kids with adhd function on a higher level, its hard for them to do things they find boring, (homework to them is boring) if you can have other family members help that isnt an authority figure like you or you husband/significant other is it might make it less of a fight for you and him. he also might feel that he is dissapointing you and feels why try, i wont be what they want me to be kind of deal. you can tell him other wise but then again he is 13...it doesnt change the fact he still feels it. keep faith in yourself and him, it will get better just takes time.