12 Month Old and 4.5 Y/o Sharing Room

You know, I wish I had a magic answer, but it seems if there is no other alternative for having them share a room, it will just take time and patience. I really am a huge fan of sleep and probably an even bigger fan of a break from my children (I appreciate my children so much more when I've had a break!). There was a short time when we had our two oldest daughters sharing a room...it was not fun. They had a terrible time going to sleep with each other. It seemed to get worse instead of better. I got to the point that I was fine if my oldest daughter came to our room to sleep...at the time they were 4 and 7. My younger one just drove her nuts! Anyway, we had a futon in our family room for a while so sometimes we'd just crash there...it was fine, no big deal. People had their different opinions about it, but who cares what anyone thought...we were all getting sleep! Eventually, we were able to get another room and now they are apart from each other and all is peaceful and we are still sleeping! All situations in life really do seem temporary...

I wish I had the answer for you. Really it all depends on the child. I have 5 kids and each one was totally different in the best way to get them to go to sleep. I have 3 boys (12,5 &2)all in the same room and 2 girls (11 & 7)in the same room. Some nights it is a nightmare. other nights it works out ok. My husband says no to sleeping with us. I will sometimes let them come in to bed with us and it takes my husband saying NO and puting him back to bed and walking away. It is sad and they cry, but it works and they still love us in the morning. (if they are sick or had a nightmare that is different. Then they do sleep with us.)

A couple of things that have worked for us are letting them look at books in bed by themselves. Even your baby could look at board books. We also have some quiet music that we play that seems to quiet them even When they are wild kids. Some nights it takes lots of love and other nights it takes lots and lots of love. Just don't give in to the crying and tempertantrums. You can say that you love them, give them hugs and kisses and then walk away. Some nights you may have to do that over and over and over, but they will catch on. Sometimes I'll have the older one in the room read in the hall until the younger one goes to bed, but that is a last resort. The one who sleeps light will learn to block out the crying. :) I think it teaches them alot to share a room. I shared with two of my Sisters and loved it. Good luck!! Hang in there. If you do find the magic answer please let the rest of us know!!!

All of our five children shared the bed with my husband and I for longer than we would have liked! But they felt secure and we felt that was most important. What finally helped us is having them sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor of our room. That way we were still nearby, but avoided having them in our actual bed.

I have a 3.5 y/o and a 7 mo old sleeping in the same room. Now it is going great! At first it was a struggle. We went from the bassinet in our room to the crib in the other room at 3 mo. We noticed a problem from the very beginning and worked toward creating a bedtime that worked for both so they could both go down at the same time. We started by 15 min increments each week (moving little ones bedtime back by 15 min and older ones up by 15) until we arrived at 8 PM for both. We have a bedtime routine we start for both at 7 PM with a bath, then massage (really helps them to sleep better), story time, then bed. They both sleep all night now until 7 AM when we have to wake them to go to daycare. I think going to the same bedtime was the best thing we ever did ;-) It gives us a break too! Hope this helps.

P.-
I am about to be in the same situation as you are. I have a 4 yr old and a 3 month old, and as soon as my youngest starts sleeping through the night, they are going to have to share a room, which probably isn't going to go too well either. My oldest has also gotten in the habit of wanting to watch a movie at bedtime, compliments of his father, he just thought he HAD to have a TV in his room, and then usually always gives in when my oldest throws a fit about wanting to watch a movie. So, if it isn't to that point yet with your kids, I would suggest taking it out RIGHT NOW! Also, try starting to give positive praise to your oldest if he doesn't come into your room in the middle of the night, like make a sheet with all 30 days on it and if he sleeps through the night he gets a sticker for that day or something, and then maybe come up with a number of days out of the month that he needs to get stickers to get something that he really wants, a trip to somewhere fun or ice cream or a new toy or something. As soon as he starts sleeping in his bed all the time you can take that privilege away. Also, this worked for us, as soon as he comes into your room, walk him back to his room, or carry him, and if he throws a fit, wait until he falls asleep and then carry him, but after doing that for awhile, when he comes into your room just tell him that he needs to go back to bed, don't walk him, don't carry him, he was brave enough to walk to your room, he can walk back to his own. It won't take long before he won't even bother coming into your room at all.

First take the TV out of their room, do not lay with them until they are asleep. My daughter who is 6 and son who is 3 1/2 have to share a room, one is a hard sleeper the other a light sleeper. I staggered their bedtimes so that my son goes to bed earlier then it makes my daughter feel more like a big girl not going to bed at the same time and she and I have some time. We just figured out how to put her to bed without waking my son and it is a good arrangement right now.

You must try had to go in an put your older son without waking the other and if you do, just walk out of the room, period. Do not lay with them or that will be a horrible habit you will have a hard time breaking, it doesn't allow either of them to fall asleep by themselves. Something they need to learn to do.
Then get the TV out, you said yourself you said you would never, then don't. It is a crutch that parents needs and think kids need when in fact they don't. The best gift you can give your boys is teaching them to cohabitate, even if some nights aren't smooth and falling asleep by themselves. It takes patience, time and a willingness to really do it but it can be done.