11 Month Old with Ear Piercing SCREAM

In my opinion, he most certainly IS old enough to discipline. I started disciplining my children at aprox. 9 months. If he can understand the word "no" then he can be disciplined. You will regret it if you wait much longer to introduce discipline.

Please don't misunderstand... Discipline does not necessarily equal punishment. However, if he doesn't have any consequences for the behavior, he has absolutely NO reason to stop.

My daughter developed the same behavior when she was 9 or 10 months old. What worked for me was LIGHTLY tapping her on the lips. Not too hard, but hard enough to get her attention, followed by a very firm "NO screaming!" If she continued, she went into time out, which was served in her crib. I would stand just outside her door, where she couldn't see me, for no more than a couple of minutes... just long enough for her to be briefly upset that she was confined and alone. Then I'd get her, move down to her level, look her in the eyes & tell her again, "NO screaming!" It took time and consistency. I had to literally go through this process over and over, all day, but it did eventually work. (I honestly don't remember how long it took. My "baby" is now 18 years old...)

You are correct, it is a phase, but the longer you wait to address ANY unacceptable behaviors, the harder it's going be to stop them.

Good luck!

My daughter went through this sometime around that age, and then it died down again. Most of the time we ignored her screaming. Once my husband screamed back at her as loud as HE could, which frightened all of us, I think. It did mean that we always had to have a plan to remove her if we were taking her out in public. On the other hand, it did eventually calm down, and she went on to whatever the next fun noise was.

Although my daughter still does scream occasionally now, at 18 months, usually from high spirits but sometimes in a tantrum. I probably need to start a formal discipline program for the tantrums rather than just ignoring her until it's over since I think this just keeps rolling on until she's past 2. She does know a lot of sign language and her spoken language is pretty good at the single-word level, so the screaming isn't because she can't communicate but rather because she isn't getting her way.

My son is 20 months, and has the same ear piercing scream. Unfortunently, there is not much you can do. Sometimes it is helpful to get close to him, eye to eye, and say SSSSSHHHHH. Alot of the time, my son thinks it is funny, and will mimic me. Other than that, I'm open to suggestions as well!!

In the nursery at church we had a little one who would do that, about the same age... 12-15 months old. AS SOON AS he started, we would say NO very firmly and in a strong voice. It would suprise him into silence and we could get on his level and talk to him. He couldn't tell us what he wanted, but he understood we were trying to meet his need. (bottle, snack, blanket...)

It has to be consistant. Everyone who could be affected has to do the same thing - mom, dad, caregivers...

Good luck!
C.

Just because he's 11 months old doesn't mean he's too young for discipline. It's important that he knows that you are the boss. Something that was very effective for my daughter was having a pack and play set up and whenever she would tell me "no" or misbehave, I would put her in there, with no toys, books or anything else. It was a true time-out. She hated it and figured out pretty quickly that whining and crying wasn't going to get her out, I could walk away and ignore her, and she "couldn't" make me miserable in turn. Plus, as it was the pack and play, she didn't develop negative associations with her crib.

If you can't do something like that, work out what does work for you, but don't think that because he's 11 months old, you can't get across that certain behaviors aren't acceptable. Setting boundaries now will make it easier as he gets older, as you have established your authority and won't have to impose it later. Good luck!

They usually do this a couple of times during their young years and there is not much you can do about it, but live through it. I call it practicing their voices. Thankfully it usually only lasts about a month each time, but that can vary. Since I do child daycare in my home this is something I have a lot of experience with. Earplugs don't usually help because they choose to do this at such random times. I have been known to quickly draw my hands to my ears though and cover them. :) Be careful not to let your child see you react favorably or unfavorably to this act. Once they see they get a reaction it can prolong them getting over the stage. Hang in there...it will end before you know it.

Mom of 7 here and sadly there really isn't anything you can do once they discover their voices. I have had some success with placing my finger over their lips and saying "sshh", but ignoring the overall action, and not laughing, which I tend to do. Sorry I think it is time to stock up on earplugs, at least for a little while.

My son did the same thing around this time -- we thought he was just imitating our parrots. We decided to just ignore him when he screamed like that -- it was always for attention so when he didn't get any (I mean NONE at all) then he stopped doing it.
Good luck!

YOUR CHILD IS NOT TO YOUNG TO BE DISIPLINED. All you need to do to disipline is stop you child when this happens and explain that it is not exceptable. They understand more than you think. If you start now it will be easier on all or you when he is older.

I don't think your son is too young to start with some dicipline. Even something as simple as taking him into another room for a time out/redirection of play may help.

The daycare tought my son sign language and it was really beneficial for us. If your son is screaming to try to communicate with you it may help.

Good Luck!

11 months isn't too young to discipline, you just need an age appropriate discipline. If he is screaming he can do that from his crib. Tell him you love him and when he stops screaming you will let him out. and then follow through on it. It really does work. He is testing his boundaries and learning what he has control over in his world. For him screaming is working, he is getting the payoff he wants. Everyone pays attention to him. It might not be positive attention but he gets all of it. It's probably become quite a game to him. So stop the game. He'll probably get to where he is fine at home and then test you at church or in a restraunt or at the store. have a plan of action ready. sit him firmly on your lap outside on the grass until he is done screaming or better put him in his car seat in the car and tell him you will rejoin everyone else when his behavior is appropriate for where you are. Even at this young age they are little sponges absorbing everything, when they do something like this that consistently they are getting some kind of big payoff, take away the payoff and the behavior modifies itself. I've dealt with this with my dd she's now 2.5 and is generally very well behaved out in public and at home. Sure she likes to test boundaries now and then but we try to be pretty consistent and I think she likes the fact that there will be the same response for her, it helps her feel safe as she explores her world. Good luck!! (I learned this from my younger sister who has 3 adorable munchkins so I can't take credit for it but I can attest that this works)

I guess I don't really have much advice.. I just wanted you to know you're not alone. My 20 month old has the worst cry I've ever heard. It about breaks our eardrums. We haven't found a way to make it better and now the tantrums are starting so it's really awful. I try to keep him calm most of the time and he gets put in the bedroom when he starts screaming just so we don't have to hear it. When we're in public I just try to deal with it even though there's always those dirty looks you get from ppl. I can't wait til he starts talking more... then maybe it will let up a little. Good luck to you... I always say one day he is going to have one heck of a singing voice :]

A.,

I would continue to ignore this behavior. It seems he's still getting enough attention to keep it up. Perhaps you could leave the room everytime he does this or put him down if your holding him. maybe try putting him in his crib/room when he does this, shut the door and then when he stops go in and pick him up and give him a love. I would also try responding to him in whispers or quietly saying...Shhhh. I know this can be h*** o* you and your family. Consistency is key. Good luck!!!

I read somewhere and was told by a child development expert that for screaming fits that you get on there level and just whisper to them that everything is ok and there is no need for the screaming. I know its a little different than just letting out a scream but it might work. I think its because if you whisper they have to be quiet to hear what you are saying.

Been there...even asked Mamsource before. We went through this at that age and it worked pretty well to put mine on the peace couch or room until done. this is a diferesnt place then time out and they can come out as soon as done, give you a hug, and then you are done with it all. It is sort of like time out as you have to keep putting her there until she evetuslly stays and calms herself. That said, mine are nearly three and four. they have started screaming again for attention. the struggle is that they are now so big and smart it is more difficult to manange. so good luck and go to the grocery store at night when hubby home to give yourself a break.

I was really surprised at some of these responses. Especially about the lady who squirted their child in the face. That is awful!!! Your child is only 11 months old. I don't think "discipline" is the answer. They are learning their voice. They don't know they are doing anything wrong. I think there are different ways to go about trying to help the situation rather than punishing the child. The few un-disciplinary ideas people have posted here, though I think are great. Please remember how young your child still is, and remember they are just experimenting the new things they learn.

This is what I would do. I would put him in a room and say, when you stop sreaming I will come and get you. Then leave and shut the door. Room meaning safe place he can't hurt himself. I did not say crib, because that is where he sleeps, and shouldn't become anything else. 11 months old may not be able to speak, but he can understand. Have you tried any of the sign language tapes for little ones? They are quite useful.

Hi- I'm enjoying reading this since we are having the exact same problem with our 10 month old. I think some people are not realizing how young this is.

I have been thinking about what to do... I got a couple of looks at church like "can't you control your child". I put my hand firmly over his mouth during the prayer. An old man walked out of the dental office Friday and stood outside until we left. I know what you mean by ear piercing. My husband was sick yesterday and I was stuck putting away a carload of groceries and cleaning all the dinner and dishes while my 4 and 5 yr old and baby screamed incessantly... I just couldn't get motivated to do anything about it since my groceries had been out for over an hour and many need to go in the fridge or freezer.

Anyway, these are my thoughts... I have thought of leaving the room for a minute every time he screams. Also, I don't think the spray bottle idea is so bad, it's harmless and a little uncomfortable. It would be a great solution if it works. The question is if at that age a child can really understand (he may actually scream more if I leave the room since his immediate need... sometimes the reason he screams in the first place is not being met). I have also sometimes flicked him with my finger by the corner of his mouth. But I feel bad to do it because it hurts his feelings and makes him cry.

For my oldest son, learning basic signs like eat and more helped a bunch, I'm trying to teach these to my baby.

I look forward to reading more responses, and am glad there are others who have similar struggles. Good luck to us moms with screamers! It really tests our sanity.

I don't know if I could do it, but I have a friend who got a squirt bottle and sprayed her daughter's face when she started screaming. I have to admit, it was very effective and didn't take long for the screaming to be done. Her daughter now has kids of her own and is just fine, so it doesn't seem to have warped her in anyway. GL! I hope you find something to help!

I have 11 month old boy/girls twins and my daughter does this too. I worry because sometimes when she does it her brother will start (even though it is not as loud.) One thing that we have been trying is to teach her sign language. Mostly we are working on "more". Hopefully then she can communicate instead of screaming. Good Luck, I feel for you! ps. I have also learned that it helps me feel better about people staring if I just laugh it off, even though inside I am embarrassed.

I love Carrie's suggestion, I also suggest teaching him sign language. The signing time videos are a great start for that. Also teach him to point at what he wants.

Hi A.:

This is a real challenge. It has been my experience that children are just trying to figure out how to get their mouths to say what they want or need. Two things I have found that work wonders. One, whispering. That is great. Remember the old commercial that said, "If you want to capture someone's attention, whisper." Truer words were never spoken. The second thing is baby sign language. There are two schools of thought on this. One is that the child won't talk as soon if they can communicate with their hands, but whether they talk as soon or not, sometimes the ability to understand and respond to needs far outweighs the delay in verbal communication. Besides which, how many people do you know who talk with their hands whether they use sign language or not? Hope that helps.

Respectfully,
R. T