11 Month Old Hitting

Updated on July 20, 2008
M.W. asks from Jasper, IN
10 answers

I might sound nuts here, but here goes. My 11 month old started hitting (with both hands) people in the chest when they hold him and he gets excited or happy. He is all smiles and laughing and brings both hands down at the same time. We didn't think anything of it, but now he has moved to people's faces too. I sat him down on the floor firmly and told him no when he hit me in the face the other night, and he cried - a full-blown sobbing cry! He hasn't hit me since, but he does hit his dad (who does the no and sitting him down - with no effect) and he hits his twin brother. He is not mad when he does this, so it is not a temper thing. He isn't hitting his brother in response to anything (like toy stealing). I think he just gets so happy or excited that, instead of throwing his hands in the air, he hits whoever is closest. He does it when he is playing too. If I am holding him and someone plays peek a boo or tickles him, he will laugh and hit a couple of times in response. Sometimes when he is sitting down or something and you play with him, he will laugh and hit. How do I get him to stop? Most of the requests I saw were for kids 2 years old and older, so I didn't get much help from reading them. I can't hold his hands and make him tell me anything... he's not talking. He knows what "no" means, it usually stops him when he is doing other things he shouldn't. He just thinks he is playing. He looks so confused when he is playing and laughing, and suddenly he gets told "no" and he gets set down. I feel like I am telling him not to play. I want him to keep playing and laughing and having fun, but without the hitting. How do I get him to understand that the hitting what he is being told not to do. Him and his brother are great little guys, and have always played well with each other and everyone else. This just started a couple of weeks ago. I don't know why it started, but I want it to stop. Thanksfully, his brother is not doing it, so I don't think it is a result of other kids at the babysitter's, and I am almost anal about making sure each one gets equal mommy and daddy time at home, so I don't think it is for attention. Any advice would help, or I would love to hear if anyone else out there had this issue with a child under one. Thanks!

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S.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

Maybe you could teach him to clap and say Yaaay! when he gets excited.
Take his hands and clap them and say "Yaaay!" every time you see him getting excited.
He is not too young for you to say "No hitting! either.

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S.M.

answers from Dayton on

Often kids respond better to being redirected than told "No!" When my son was in preschool, they told us (it was a co-op, so parents were the helpers) to tell the children, "Put the blocks on the floor," instead of "Stop throwing the blocks." "Sit on your carpet square," instead of "Stop running around!"
Maybe if you told your son, "put your arms around my neck and hug me," instead of "Don't hit me!" you would have better results.

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K.N.

answers from Cleveland on

I totally agree with what you've been doing but i see your concern with him being so young and unable to differentiate between the hitting and the playing when he gets told no. What if instead of putting him down and telling him "no" you take and hold his hands and say something like no that hurts, so he can start to associate the action of his hands hitting wiht hurting people. it might take awhile but he'll get it, and while it is a stage and jsut a reaction if you don't at least try to get the point across later it will only get harder. good luck.

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C.W.

answers from Canton on

Hello i have a 11 mo.little boy who does the same thing. He will be one aug 1st. When ever he gets excited he wants to hit so i have started telling him no hit then having him clap his hands instead. It seems to be working great for me so far.
Hope this helps you.

C.

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B.B.

answers from Indianapolis on

I'd do one of two things.....instead of saying, "no", say, "no hit". That assigns what you're saying no to.

Either that, or make a face and say, "Ohhh...owie owie....be gentle with mommy!" and then show him by maybe patting his arm and saying "gentle" so that that might "re-direct" the behavior.

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N.L.

answers from Columbus on

I think you are doing fine & have already gotten some good advise. How about re-directing him to clap instead of hit. When he hits, take his hands and make him clap instead. Maybe redirection will help? Just a shot in the dark. It sounds like he hits when he is happy, so maybe he just needs to be shown what to do when he is happy - like clapping. Hope it helps. I wouldn't want to be hit all the time either, because they can get pretty strong for being so little.

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C.K.

answers from Columbus on

Ok, this is normal! All three of my babies did the same thing. All that I can say is to keep doing the No, and setting him down thing. I know that you are concerned about him thinking he can't play, but when you tell him no, give him another chance not to do it before you sit him down. When he plays with you and does'nt hit, he'll learn that you don't put him down and playing is ok. I know it's hard, I'm right there with you! Feel free to write me anytime!

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J.M.

answers from Cleveland on

my 10 month old does the same thing when she is excited. we say touch gentle or we redirect her and have her clap her hands which seems to work better. good luck! i wouldn't worry about it too much especially because he is not doing it out of anger.

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T.M.

answers from Terre Haute on

My son went through a bit of a hitting stage. When he would hit, I would tell him "ouch, that hurts mommy. use a nice touch." Then I would grab his hand and rub it gently over the area that he hit. Now if he gets overly rambunctious, I just tell him to use his gentle or nice touch and he does. It worked for us! Often times now, he will come up and just use gentle touch instead of kisses and such. I really miss the kisses sometimes but he's being nice all the same. I think the lack of kisses is just an age thing. He's too busy to take out that much time (He's 22 mo. now). I hope this helps you. Good luck with your little batter! Shannon G.

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P.A.

answers from Dayton on

Hello - I have 4 children (7, 5, 23 mo. and 6 mo) and remember my little ones going through this when they were about this age. I have always taken their hands when they hit me (usually in the face when I wasn't prepared :) and would just take their hand and stroke my face and say "nice". Just doing this consistently - they came to understand that they was to be gentle instead of hitting.

I have found that many times we as parents (myself included!) will tell our children NO but don't give them an alternative to what would be a better choice. I hope that this works for you. Best of luck!

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