1 Year Old with a Temper - Charleston,SC

My little one is 8.5 mths so I don't know how much help I can be but my sister has a 1.5 year old and has gone through this. #1 - be consistent - decide how you are going to handle this type of situation and make sure you and your husband react the same way. Also, from everything I have read, little ones lack empathy until about 18 mths. So, while he may use the word no, he is unlikely to obey you for a bit longer. This is one reason that this is a great time to lay down the foundation for consistency.

Violence - If hiting or any type of violent behavior is exhibited, my sister hold her sons hand and touches it to the person that was being hit, poked etc and has him touch the person softly and says "gentle, gentle".

Temper tantrums - my husband and I were just talking about this one last night and going through some research I had done on how to respond. This is what we have decided to do. Don't fight them. Place the child in front of a mirror and let them watch themselves. Explain to him/her that you cannot understand them when they yell like that and that you will talk to them once they calm down. Then, just wait. If my husband and/or I are out in public we will try to remove our selves from the situation and go to the car for this.

I totally agree with the concept of being consistant. I feel that is the most important thing in handling any child in any circumstance. You are his Mom, so trust yourself in what you decide to do about the problem. No one knows your child as well as you....I mean...what works with one child may not work with another....and no matter what "you da boss" and he has to learn that and with your consistancy, he will. My daughter (2 year bday on the 11th of this month) is much like your son with the temper. Consistancy, never letting her "Win" even once with the temper tantrums when she throws them to get what she wants,,,has worked. She is getting better. Some days are better than others...but you can say that about adults as well :-) Hang in there....with age it does get better.

I hate to say this, but thank-you!! I thought I was in this alone. I have a 15 month old who, like yours, has got a temper that no child that young should have, only he bites more than he hits. I have been doing time out. He's finally gotten the point so now when he does something wrong I just ask him, "Jake, you want time out?" and he shakes his head "no" and starts acting right...but there are other times when he does something naughty, and time out just isn't working so then I simply remove him and make him play alone which seems to be more devastating than time out, and he stops (for the moment...he usually reverts back to his ways eventually). Maybe you could try that. Consistancy is a huge deal. Don't forget to reward him with a hug or a kiss when is playing nice, or when he lets you do something with out fighting. MAke sure you tell him what he's in trouble for, because he may not know, and make sure you tell him that you are so proud of him for not fighting, and so he'll start associating the two..."if I do this, mom doesn't like it," or "if I let mom change my diaper, then I get a big kiss." Good Luck!

A.,
How ever you decide to handle your son hitting, the one thing you have to remember is to always be consistant. One thing that I have started to do with children that I keep here at home is as soon as they swing to hit, I pick them up and turn them with their back to me and sit them down telling them "I do not like it when you hit me" very sternly. This has also worked with some of the children in my class at the day care. Being able to ignore that the hit hurts is really hard but if you let them see they can get to you by doing it, they will keep doing it just to get a reaction from you. This is the age where children are testing their boundaries with you and need to know that you do not like what they are doing and that it will not get them what they want. No matter what you have to make sure that your baby knows that it is the behavior that you do not like...you have to get him as soon as he hits not after the fact.

Hope this helps!

Bad behavior never stops but manifests its self in different ways. I found that with my one year old who is now five, (and does quite well by the way) that a tap on the hand went a long way. However everyone is different. I would encourage your other children to ignore the baby for 15min. at a time to give him space. Good luck.

The "Naughty Spot" is what I am told I should use for my 20 month old. I just get on her level and tell her, "Mommy doesn't like that type of behavior," and, then, I walk away. She quiets down and comes over to me with a smile and open arms. It works like a charm with her, but every child is unique. But still, it may be something worth trying.