1 Year Old with a Temper

Updated on March 15, 2008
S.L. asks from Ashburn, VA
7 answers

My one year old throws temper tantrums and if he is mad he will bang his head and bite the floor or whatever is near him. He has started hitting recently and bites even when he is playing. I try to be stern and tell him no biting or no hitting and sit him down. This is clearly not working. Usually if I tell him "no" about anything he laughs and thinks it is a game...which is a little frustrating! Is this normal for a one year old?? I am going through a divorce so I'm not sure if it is part of that. His father is verbally abusive to me (and has been physically abusive to his former wife, luckily I left before he started hitting me) and used to say things to my son before I kicked him out so I'm worried he is getting some of this behavior from him.

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So What Happened?

I spoke with my son's pediatrician and she said that I should ignore the banging his head on things or banging things on his head and he should grow out of it once he realizes that it hurts when he does that. She also said that I should put him in a time out (high chair, crib, etc) when he bites or hits for one minute (one minute for each year he is old). So, I'm going to work on that!

More Answers

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P.J.

answers from Washington DC on

I don't think it's coming from the father; I believe he is to young for that. But he can be acting out cause he is gone and he is use to seeing him everyday. He is to young to express himself in the best way, so he is doing what he can. Stay stong continue letting him know that that type of behavior is not acceptable and once he start to realize that what he see is how it is now, he should start to come around. If all else fails, then you might want to take him to a doctor.

hope this helps,
P.

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B.A.

answers from Dover on

S., first of all, congratulations on having the strength and courage to get out of what sounds like it could have been a very bad (dangerous) relationship. Your son will be better for it in the long run. Given his age, I doubt he's mirroring any behaviors he saw from his dad. Yes, the behavior *could* be earlu indications of autism or some sort of cognitive issue, but it may be a little early to jump to that conclusion. Definitely talk about it with your pediatrician. Meanwhile, I can tell you my son only exhibits taht sort of behavior when he is extremely frustrated and cannot communicate it in another way. Start to pay attention to when these things occur and what may be going on around him. It could be as simple as learning to recognize when it might be coming and then re-directing him into an activity. It may also be that the origin of the behvior is sensory. Talk w/your ped about that, too. My son is a "sensory-seeker" and needs really strong input that he gets from kicking, clapping, hitting his head, biting (only on things, ot on people!).

Don't panic about any of it. ALL kids go through bad behavior stages and they are usually some attempt at either getting our attention or to express something they don't have any other way to do.

Best of luck to you.

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S.V.

answers from Washington DC on

hey what ur son is doing is normal head banging on the floor wall and whatever is his way of letting out frustration. ignore it but also try to talk to him so he starts to understand how to put that into words. Biting that to is a way for him to show you how he is feeling since his feeling way out do his speaking. My neice was the same way abt the laughing at you and such you just to find something that grabs his attention and makes him stop. for her it was saying she wasnt acting like a princesses! strange but true. good luck.

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A.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi S....

my son is one year old too, and he did the same as your son. I guess this is the age, they doing this. they learn a lot every day. and I think, he uses his mouth as a sence. He wants to check everything out, if it something to eat or not...does it hurt or not. Sometimes, I think he bites in stuff he likes..like lovebites...
when he is doing this, I say NO and i take his hand and show him to be gentle. Maybe it works for you too.
I don't think, it has something to do with your divorce or your husband.
I can imagine, you have a hard time with your divorce, but give him a lot of attention, because it is a important time for him right now.
Greetings
A.

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J.H.

answers from Washington DC on

A good book and video is the happiest toddler on the block. I love it and live by it!!

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S.O.

answers from Washington DC on

hi there a friend of mine has a 4 yr old that does similar things but 2 to 3 yrs ago she was diagnosed w/autism. she would bang her head on the wall. she does the biting and so forth. i would go to your son's ped and ask them about it. and suggest that. see what they say.

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L.N.

answers from Washington DC on

hey S., it's actually pretty normal the head banging at that age. i remember our awesome pediatrician down in florida, when i asked him about my one year old daughter banging her head on the floor, he had said ignore her. if it comes to the point i feel she's hurting herself he said bring her in and we will have her fitted for a headband to prevent injury to herself
:)
needless to say it eventually stopped. it actually stopped after i started ignoring her behavior, not beforehand. in the beginning i was petrified, on the floor with her, crying with her, holding her (i was doing all the things she was seeking me to do). once i started ignoring her, well, she stopped in a few weeks.
also congratulations on recognizing a bad environment and leaving it. but i sincerely doubt your son who is 1 has picked up on that behavior. he's too young.
good luck
vlora

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